The Heart's Ashes (26 page)

You’re out of
human practice, David.

“
David! It’s so good to see you again,” she said.

He patted her
back softly, smiling at me over her shoulder. “It’s good to be
back.”

Em folded out
from the hug and Mike stepped in, offering his hand. “David, nice
to see you again.”

“
And you.”

“
Are you planning to stay?” He stood taller, lifting his chin
slightly.

“
Not for long.” David rocked on his heels, jamming his hands
into his saturated pockets. It seemed there was more exchanging
between the two in the language of their bodies, leaving Emily and
I clueless to the true conversation.

I watched on,
my gaze darting between them; Mike, with fists clenching and a look
of fury clouding his focused eyes, allowed a moment of silence for
everyone else, while, what I imagined were a thousand thoughts,
were for David’s eyes only. I grabbed his arm. “Mike!”

“
It’s okay.” David ducked his head. “I get it.”

“
Mike, don’t be such an arse.”

He shrugged.
“Sorry, Ara—he needs to know what he’s doing to you.”

“
He knows.” Emily touched Mike’s arm and looked at David.
“There’s no way he’s leaving again. Not now. Right,
David?”

A small,
sympathetic smile escaped onto his lips before he shook his head.
“I can stay for a while.” He looked at Mike then. “But you know it
can never be forever.”

I could sense
the tension in Mike, knew that he knew what this was doing to me—so
I avoided seeing that in his eyes.

“
Why?” Emily said. “I don’t get it? Why not?”

Awkwardness
filled the air. Two humans in the room knew the truth, I wondered
if David would just let her in on it. “I have a wife,” he said
instead, almost convincingly.

“
What?” Emily shrieked.

“
David!”
Just tell her the
truth.

“
It’s true. I just popped in to check on everyone, but I’m
leaving again in a few days.”

“
I don’t believe you,” Emily said.

And why would
she? There was a time when she knew David better than any of us. I
don’t know why he thought she’d fall for that.

David
shrugged. “Believe what you want. It doesn’t change facts,
Emily.”

Emily looked
at Mike and rested her hand on his chest. She knew a lie when she
heard one, but she was obviously going to let it go—probably
assuming Mike would tell her later.

But he
wouldn’t. I was certain he wouldn’t.

I closed my
bedroom door on the empty lounge room and spun around to look at my
vampire, returned, in all his glory, and just as infuriating as
before. “Why didn’t you just tell her the truth?”

“
No need to slam the door.” That cheeky, cocky grin caught a
hold of his eyes.

“
I didn’t slam it.”

The smile spread into conceit as he sat on the edge of my
bed, dumping his duffle bag at his feet. “Did you
want
me to tell
her?”

“
Is there any point in hiding it? We’re not in high school
anymore, David. And Emily isn’t stupid.”

“
I know.” He reached a hand out to me; I took it and sat
beside him. “But she’s in an emotional state. Not the best time to
break that kind of news. Just let her get over the bliss of
love—then we’ll tell her.”

“
Is that what you did with me, by not telling me straight
away?”

He left my
words hanging in the openness of our light moment. “Maybe. But
you’re not over the bliss of love yet.”

“
No, I’m damaged by it.” I rested my hands on my
knees.

“
You know, it hurts me when you say those things.”

“
Sorry.”

He stole my
hand. “It’s surreal—being here right now. I’m almost afraid this is
just another dream, that I’ll wake up any moment and my world will
fall apart.”

I looked
sideways at him. “Then, if you wake up—come find me.”

He nodded.
“Okay. I promise.”

In the silence
he allowed then, my mind wandered over the night, but couldn’t get
past Emily’s tears—more tears for another broken heart. It almost
made me mad that my own best friend had put them there. “Why did
Jason leave her?” I said out of the blue.

“
Leave who?”

“
Emily.”

He scratched the back of his neck, his words falling through
open lips as nothing more than a sigh. “Really? You want to know
this
now
?”

“
Yes.”

“
Ara, it’s late, we should—”

“
Should what? Waste the few measly hours we get by going to
sleep? No way. I want answers. Don’t you think I
deserve—”

“
Okay, okay.” He laughed, taking my hands. “I was going to
tell you, I just wondered if you wanted to sleep first.”

I simmered
down. “Sorry.”

“
Don’t be sorry.”

“
Sorry.”

“
Ara.” He laughed.

Realising I’d
just apologised for apologising, I said, “Sorry.” Then we both
laughed softly, my whole face going hot with the sensation.

After a quiet
moment, David said, “It was my fault.”

“
What?”

“
Jason and Em.”

“
Why?”

“
The laws you learned about—the ones that prevent humans and
vampires being together long term—they’re out-dated and downright
unfair. Jason wanted to change them instead of changing Emily. And
I refused to help, even though, with my position on the council and
my knowledge of the law, I had the power. I told him to get over
her—that she was nothing but a human.”

I covered my
mouth. “How could you?”

“
She was just a human to me—not worthy of the rigmarole I’d
have to endure to make that kind of change.”

“
The same rigmarole your uncle is going through right
now?”

He nodded
thoughtfully, his eyes becoming dark with something I couldn’t
distinguish. “It won’t work,” he said after a while. “The case
between Jason and I has merely cemented their notion that humans
and vampires cannot mix. They won’t change the laws now.”

“
Is that what Jason intended by kidnapping me?”

David looked
right into my face, gently curling a strand of hair around my ear.
“How do you say his name that way? How can you speak of him so
casually when, a few months ago, the mention of him saw you
dark?”

I swallowed.
“I don’t know.”

“
Has he made a presence in your life?”

“
No.” I doubled back. “You would’ve seen that if
so.”

He nodded,
leaving both hands in his lap. “I guess so.”

“
Maybe I’ve been conditioned to tolerate terror
now.”

David smiled. “From hanging out with Éric
de la Rose
?”

I smiled too,
remembering the way his feet left the ground when Jason punched
him. “Yeah, he’s pretty offensive.”

“
He’s a typical vampire.”

“
And a creep.”

“
Yes.” David groaned, exhaling deep enough that his breath
chilled my knee through my jeans. “But, despite his moronic
behaviour, and as much as I hate to say this, he’s not the kind of
guy who’d have taken you to Karnivale to kill you or let you get
hurt.”

“
I know.”

He nodded.
“But, he’s also not really qualified to be watching out for you
either. He’s lucky my brother was there to save you tonight, or
this would’ve ended very badly for him.” I cringed a little,
looking at David’s tight fists, thinking of what Jason said he’d do
if Eric got me killed.

“
Strangely, I’m glad Jason was there, too.”

The fists
tightened.

“
I’m sorry. I know that’s sick.”

“
How do you feel—about what he said to you?”

“
Who?”

“
Jason. About his...his being in love with you.”

“
I—” I rubbed my hand along my cold arm and let myself
acknowledge the fact that, under me, my jeans were saturating my
brand new mattress. “I haven’t had a chance to process it
yet.”

David nodded
and held his arm out. In my mind, as we laid back, wet on the soft
bed, a song began to play; smooth, rhythmic, giving a kind of
presence I remembered feeling when watching a film one day—set in
the eighties; a boy and a girl, Bon Jovi posters on the wall,
teased hair and childhood innocence. Homely, safe, comfortable, as
though nothing would ever change.

I rested my
hand to his chest, my ear where his heart should be beating but sat
silent, still, left behind in a life he no longer lived. It had
become strange to me again, to feel the absence of heat, not so
much that he was cold but just that he wasn’t warm. I listened to
the whir of his quiet, comfortable breath—comfortable, finally,
with me again.

And as the
homely feeling spread out around me, occupying every space in my
room, I finally acknowledge the pain I’d felt without him—like a
hunger that won’t quit twisting in your gut, like an ache that
refuses to numb. I felt as though I was tying a blindfold around my
eyes, hiding myself, breath by breath, from the world outside—the
world that, in a few days, would take him away from me again.

The cold of
his wool jumper warmed, like tepid water, under my cheek, while the
rest of his body, clothes and all, so wet, so chilly, felt like
lying against a rain-soaked tree. It was even hard to slide my
fingers over his skin, caught by the sticky remnants of the lake.
So I walked them down the indents of his ribs, like stairs, until I
finally came to rest on the sharp bones of his hip. He felt so
different, as if he was someone new, unfamiliar to my touch.

“
You haven’t been eating, have you?” I noted.

“
No.” He rubbed my back, his distracted eyes on the roof, his
other arm at an angle under his head.

“
Does it make it hard then, to be here with me?”

After a
lengthy pause “Yes” was all he whispered.

“
David?”

“
Yeah.”

“
We need to get undressed. We’re making the bed wet. And I’m
kinda cold.”

“
Oh, damn.” He leaped to his feet. “Sorry. Didn’t think of
that.”

“‘
S’okay.” I shrugged one shoulder, staying where he left me.
“Except…I might need some help—to get my clothes off.” I looked
down at my body suggestively. “They’re all sticky and
tight.”

David, with a
shaky breath, knelt on the bed beside my hips, barely disturbing
the covers, and leaned close to my face. “You’re asking too much of
me, Ara.” But, despite his hesitating touch, he reached down and
tampered with the button on my jeans as I rolled my spine, pressing
my shoulder blades into the mattress to lift my shirt over my head,
feeling cooler with my skin completely open to the air—the air in
front of his gaze. He blinked a few times before shaking off
whatever thought he just had, then forced his attention back to my
jeans, smiling a moment later.

“
This won’t work.”

His hands left
my waist, moved down and lifted my ankle, then rolled the boot off
my foot and peeled my sock away.

“
Mm. Sexy,” I joked, with a giggle.

“
Well,” he said, hooking his fingers into the back of my jeans
again, “now that part’s over—”

Hiding giggles
behind my hands, I lifted my hips, letting him shuffle the sticky
denim down my thighs—stopping to push my underwear back in place as
the jeans dragged them down, leaving me cool and shivery—covered
only in little bumps of angst and a pair of wet underwear. Wet,
totally unfashionable, old-and-comfy undies.

“
Look at you.” He shook his head softly, his deep, whispery
voice filling my heart with its presence. He smiled then, standing
up, tinkering with the button on his jeans. “You may be half
emaciated, Ara, but you are still very beautiful.”

I pinched my
hip, still able to grab a little bit of flesh. “I’m not
emaciated.”

“
No.” He landed beside me, his hands taking his weight as his
almost completely bare flesh touched my quilt.
My
quilt. Finally. “But I don’t ever
want to see you this thin again.”

“
Yes, Boss,” I said, and as much as I didn’t want to, I had to
shift away from the spot we were laying, inching up the bed to the
pillow—away from the moist circle of left-over lake, hoping David
would follow me.

As I rolled my
cheek into the pillow, smoothing an itch away, David appeared
beside me, comfortable and relaxed. We laid nose to nose, our knees
tucked up, touching, our hands gathered to our chests.

“
I missed you,” I said.

He nodded. “I
know.”

The cold took
hold of me then, opening the door to exhaustion. I sniffed and
snuggled closer to my vampire, raising a hand to trace the side of
his body, stopping on his jocks. “How did you get these dry?”

He smiled. “I
put new ones on.”

“
I didn’t even see you do it.”

“
I know.” His smile became wider for every second we stared
into each other’s eyes; months of separation becoming rolled into
so many thoughts driven by our desires over that time. My breath
mimicked those thoughts, flooding me with heat and a tight tingle,
centering at the core of my body. But, as he obviously read the
desires playing out in my mind, a dense cool replaced the smile in
his eyes. “Stop thinking that way, Ara.”