The Heartbreak Cafe (33 page)

‘
I’m really pleased for you Ruth,’ Nina said meaning it. ‘So
will Charlie be moving back to LA with you then?’

‘
Well, we’re not entirely sure yet… there’s a lot to sort out
beforehand really …’

‘
Oh?’As usual Trish’s news antenna was ready and waiting. ‘Like
what? Do tell.’

‘
Well …’ Ruth took a deep breath. ‘I suppose it’s going to be
public knowledge soon, and we’ve been debating about telling
anyone, but we’re just about to tell my parents so…’ she looked
from one to the other. ‘I’m pregnant.’ Trish’s mouth dropped open,
as did Nina’s. ‘Of course, I’m already as big as a whale, so I
really didn’t think anyone would be all that surprised.’

‘
Oh wow, Charlie sure moves fast, doesn’t he?’ Trish chuckled,
and Ruth looked sheepish. ‘Wait … are you saying …holy crap! Is it
Troy Valentine’s?’

Ruth,
who’d evidently forgotten herself, went immediately into full-on PR
mode.

‘
Well that’s really here nor there,’ she said uncomfortably.
‘All anyone needs to know is that Charlie and I are back
together.’

‘
Ruth, it’s really lovely news,’ Nina was quick to congratulate
her, but was secretly gob-smacked that she hadn’t noticed anything,
considering. And despite Ruth’s protests at being as big as a
whale, she was actually no larger than a goldfish!

‘
Yes, congratulations.’ Trish looked thoughtful. ‘So how far
along are you?’

‘
Not far,’ Ruth said evasively.

‘
Well, you must be twelve weeks at least, otherwise you
wouldn’t be telling people,’ she insisted and Ruth
blanched.

‘
Oh what does it matter how far along she is? The main thing is
she’s happy, and you are, aren’t you, Ruth?’

‘
Very much,’ she nodded, beaming. ‘I still can’t believe that
after all this time, Charlie and I worked everything
out.’

‘
Well, I really think it’s fabulous news,’ she said, giving
Ruth a hug. ‘And you deserve it after everything that’s
happened.’

‘
Thank you. It’s all pretty nerve-wracking to say the least, as
I really don’t know anything about babies, you know?’

‘
I know how you feel,’ Nina said without thinking. Then she
reddened. ‘I mean, I can only imagine – ’

‘
Oh for crying out loud!’ Trish groaned, throwing up her arms,
‘Would you just go ahead and say it?’ she said with a wide
grin.

‘
What?’ Nina said innocently.

‘
Well, to be honest, it’s looked to me for some time that
Ruth’s not the only one heading for the maternity ward this
year.’

‘
Is it that obvious?’ she said, mortified.

‘
I’ll say.’

‘
No not at all,’ Ruth said kindly. ‘I mean, yes, you have put
on some weight since I first met you, but in a lovely baby sort of
way,’ she went on. ‘We must be only a few months apart?’

‘
Well, I’m actually a lot further down the road …’ she
confessed, already feeling as if a large weight had lifted. It was
sort of nice to be able to talk openly about this, instead of
keeping it all bottled up. And especially nice to share it with
Ruth.

‘
So I guess this is the real reason you’ve been sticking around
so long,’ Trish stated and Nina nodded. ‘I’d kind of guessed it
wasn’t for the love of your dear old dad.’

‘
I didn’t really have anywhere else to go – especially with Mum
away…’

‘
And what about the father?’ Trish asked gently. ‘The guy you
were seeing in Galway – is that all finished with?’

‘
No, he and I aren’t together anymore – and he won’t be
involved in any of it,’ she admitted and Ruth leaned forward and
patted her on the hand.

‘
Men are shits.’

‘
Oh no, it’s fine really. It’s just … well I haven’t said
anything before now because I still haven’t quite decided what to
do about it.’

‘
I think it might be a little late for a termination or
anything,’ Ruth said worriedly, and Nina shook her head.

‘
No, that’s not what I meant. More that I’m not sure what to do
once it’s born. I’m not exactly cut out for motherhood and …’
Feeling her eyes begin to water, she decided to change the subject,
not wanting to be the centre of attention anymore. ‘Anyway, seeing
as we’re all confessing our secrets,’ she continued, turning to
Trish, ‘are we ever going to meet your mystery man?’

‘
Well, he’s not really that much of a mystery,’ she said in a
decidedly cryptic tone and Nina frowned.

She
laughed. ‘You know him, in fact I think you would have both met him
at some stage.’

‘
Really? Where?’

‘
Remember Ruth’s homecoming party – the one where you ended up
hiding in the broom cupboard?’

Both
girls nodded.

‘
He was there. Actually Ruth, his company sponsored the whole
night.’

Suddenly
it clicked with Nina. ‘Dave?’ she said, blood rushing to her cheeks
as stupidly, she realised she’d thought the same guy had been
flirting with her.

Ruth
seemed lost in thought. ‘Wait a second … are you talking about that
guy from the brewery?’

Trish
nodded. ‘Yep.’

‘
But doesn’t he have a little girl?’ she continued. ‘I’m almost
positive he lives in one of the newer houses out my direction, and
I’ve seen him around a few times with a little girl.’

‘
Oh,’ Nina said, feeling even more foolish, ‘I didn’t realise
he was divorced.’

Trish
said nothing, and Ruth and Nina both eyed her. ‘Trish, Dave is
divorced, isn’t he?’ Ruth pressed, her eyes widening.

In one
fluid motion, Trish pushed away the articles and pictures she was
fussing over. She bit her lip. ‘OK fine, as long as we’re all
confessing something. No he’s not divorced, he’s still married,
actually.’

Nina felt
the blood rush from her face.

‘
You’re kidding!’ Ruth gasped.

Trish now
looked as if she had just been caught stealing, as in a way, she
had. ‘I know, I know, but I didn’t know at first … he never said
anything and it sort of just happened, OK? The marriage is pretty
much over anyway.’

‘
But it is a marriage, nonetheless, and you are
interfering.’

Trish
looked wounded. ‘Don’t lay the saint act on me Nina; you only just
told us about your little secret – talk about the pot calling the
kettle black.’ The words stung more than Trish could have imagined
and she couldn’t believe how her friend could knowingly carry on
with another woman’s husband. ‘Anyway, it’s my business not yours,
and I don’t know why I even told you.’

‘
No, you didn’t and now I wish I didn’t know.’

‘
Nina, try not to judge me until you’ve walked in my shoes and
please don’t sit there and presume to act like you’re holding the
moral high ground. You know his wife, and she’s a pain; you said it
yourself.’

Don’t
judge me until you’ve walked in my shoes. Nina looked at her.
‘What? How on earth would I know this guy’s wife?’

‘
She comes into the café, her and that friend of hers and their
gaggle of kids.’

‘
Oh … you don’t mean ...’ Realising she meant Emer and Deirdre,
Nina’s head spun as she tried to put this together. She’d met
Deirdre’s husband at Jess’s party and was sure his name was Kevin,
which meant that … ‘He told you the marriage is already over?’ she
asked Trish.

She gave
a defiant shake of her head. ‘Absolutely. Yes, they have a child
but that’s partly the reason. The kid is all the wife cares about,
and she just sits at home doing nothing while he’s out trying to
keep the payments on that big house going.’

‘
Trish,’ Nina wasn’t sure if it was her place to tell her, but
she felt her friend should know that she was deluding herself. ‘I’m
not saying this to hurt you, but if you’re talking about Emer, I
heard only recently that she’s pregnant again.’

Trish’s
face crumpled. ‘What? What are you talking about …?’

‘
Honestly. I was there when it was announced,’ she continued
gently. ‘So if he’s telling you the marriage is over …’

‘
Oh no,’ Trish said, putting her head in her hands. ‘The stupid
… I swear I’ll …’ Nina moved across to put a comforting arm around
her shoulders but Trish shrugged her off. ‘Leave me alone,’ she
said tearfully, gathering up her papers and shoving them into her
briefcase. ‘And forget I ever said anything!’ And with that Trish
rushed out of the room, banging the door as she went.

Nina
looked at Ruth who’d stayed silent throughout the entire
exchange.

‘
Wow, interesting day, huh?’ she said, eyes wide.

Nina
nodded her head glumly. ‘I’ll say.’

Trish was
right, this wasn’t any of her business and she knew she’d gone over
the top with her accusations and for the wrong reasons. But her
friend didn’t know that, and as far as Trish was concerned she was
trying to take the moral high ground and she, of all people, had no
right to do that. All of sudden Nina felt scared, about this baby
and what the future held; scared that because of her actions, she
had just lost another important person in her life.

Ruth
stood and picked up her handbag. ‘Let’s get out of here,’ she said.
‘I think now might be a good time for a carb-fest at the Hearbreak
Cafe.’

Jess lay
in bed and patted her stomach, yet again thinking about being
pregnant. She so wished that Brian could be happier about the
prospect and had been sure that once he’d got over the initial
surprise would be over the moon about it.

But
instead, since the day of the party, he’d been keeping her at a
distance – as if she was breakable or worse as if she’d done
something really terrible. Which in a way Jess admitted shamefully,
she had.

As a
result, everything seemed anti-climatic. After all this time she’d
expected that it would all feel really gratifying and exciting, but
it was far from it.

By
contrast, Emer was getting along famously and had already set up a
room for the new baby and started buying lots of clothes and toys.
She’d urged Jess to join in but her heart wasn’t in it, not when
Brian was so far refusing to participate.

She’d
wished for so long that things could be different and now they were
– but not in a good way.

Since the
day of the party, she felt draped in loneliness and knew it was
because the fun that had been a huge part of her marriage had
disappeared almost overnight. She missed Brian and she wished she
could get back the spirit of the man that she knew. Ultimately, she
wondered now if all of the early baby mania she’d laid on him had
been a big mistake.

What’s
more she was also figuring out that her friends’ lives might not be
that perfect after all, and the more time she spent with them, the
clearer this became.

For
instance, despite her baby news, Emer and Dave seemed to be
experiencing some major tension in their marriage, and Jess
wondered if her friend’s surprise pregnancy was an attempt at a
band-aid baby. If so, what did that make hers; a banana-skin
baby?

Because
it sure as hell wasn’t mending her marriage; if anything it was
killing it.

Thinking
back, she realised that her life had been altogether fine with
Brian before she’d become obsessed about starting a family. But of
course, now she’d gone too far and was wondering how she could
attempt to fix it, when the bedroom door opened quietly.

Brian
entered and Jess sat straight up in bed, hoping against hope that
he would show some sign of wanting to be close to her.

‘
Hey,’ she said, smiling softly.

‘
Don’t let me disturb you, I just need to change my clothes and
then I’ll leave you alone.’

‘
No, you don’t have to leave me alone. I don’t mind the
company.’

Brian
barely looked at her. ‘But you must be tired.’

‘
No, really – stay, please.’ Jess heard his barely
imperceptible sigh, and felt as if her heart was ripping in two.
‘So, how was work?’ she asked, wondering why this felt so hard.
Before this, their conversation had always been so effortless
whereas these days it was stilted and hard to come by.

‘
It was fine.’

‘
Anything interesting happening?’

‘
Same old, same old for the most part.’

Jess bit
her lip realising she wasn’t really getting anywhere. ‘Well, I’m
glad you’re home.’

‘
So, have you made that appointment with the doctor yet?’ he
asked quietly. ‘You know – about the … situation.’

She
reddened. ‘Not yet – I haven’t really had the time, what with work
and everything …’

Brian
looked at her and slowly shook his head. ‘Jess, what do you want
from me?’

‘
What?’

‘
Again, what do you want from me?’

Did he
mean he didn’t want to accompany her to the doctor’s? Well, that
was fine by her. ‘I don’t want anything from you as such …
obviously I just want us both to be happy.’