The Guide to Getting It On (57 page)

Plenty of couples enjoy adding a finger or toy in the rear when doing sex that isn’t anal focused, such as handjobs, oral sex and vaginal intercourse. You will need to ponder whether you want the anal accessory to move in and out, or to stay put once it is where the person wants it. And remember, brown and pink don’t mix—keep anything that has touched an anus out of a vagina.

Playin’ the Back Nine? Bag It

Straight or gay, single or married, monogamous or slut, you are always wise to use a condom when having anal intercourse. The reasons extend beyond concern about AIDS. It is just as much to keep the male from getting a possible prostate infection as it is for protecting the woman.

Fluids deposited in the rectum are absorbed more easily into the body than fluids deposited in the vagina. In other words, deposit a wad of male ejaculate up a partner’s rear, and chances are her colon is going to slurp it up. Heaven only knows how her immune system is going to respond, and science won’t be helping straight couples answer this question any time soon. If you bag the penis before it goes up her bum, you’ve eliminated a potential source of concern.

Also,
men can get prostate infections from having anal sex without wearing a condom.
Both of our prostate consultants, who are nobody’s prudes when it comes sex, balk the thought of sticking an unbagged penis up a rectum, even if it’s with a wife of twenty years. That’s because the same bacteria that are prevalent in the rectum can also cause prostatitis. They feel that the reason more men don’t get bladder infections from doing anal sex is because the infection settles in the prostate. On the other hand, few cases of prostatitis are caused by bacteria.

No matter how hard you wash your penis after a rectal rendezvous, if you haven’t used a condom, bacteria-laden chunks can still remain inside the urinary opening. This can give your partner a vaginal infection. If you are going from anal intercourse to vaginal intercourse, not only should you wash your penis, but try to take a leak as well. When it comes to condoms and anal sex, polyurethane condoms should be a butt pirate’s dream, however, they have not been approved for anal-sex usage by the FDA. They are made thinner than traditional latex condoms and can be used with oil-based lubricants, but they may possibly have a higher rate of breakage than the old latex war horses.

Using latex condoms with silicone/water-based lube Silicone lube is the lube of choice for some anal enthusiasts. It won’t harm latex condoms and it seems to give good bang for your buck. It won’t dry out as fast as most water-based lubes. See Chapter 12:
Sex Lubes—A New Look
.

Female Condoms:
More anal sex aficionados have been trumpeting the value of the female condom for anal sex play. You might see if it works for you. Plus, you can leave it in if you want to take an anal intermission, or go shopping or something. However, these kinds of uses have not received FDA sanction, so buyer beware. Also, people who use the female condom for anal sex often recommend that you take out the inner ring before inserting the female condom in the rectum.

Other Condom Considerations:
Don’t used ribbed or studded condoms for anal sex; you don’t need the extra resistance. It’s best to put a new condom on any sex toys that go into the rectum and to wash the toy afterward. If you have favorite toys for butt play, dedicate them for that purpose only so they never see the inside of a vagina.

Beware the Buttman, Porn and Anal Sex

If the thought anal intercourse intrigues you, you might like to watch some anal-sex videos. In her book,
The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women
, Tristan Taormino warns that anal-sex videos leave out the most important parts. Even when they are making X-rated movies, the actors don’t just go plowing each other’s rear ends without lots of preparation and anal foreplay, none of which the viewer actually sees in the video. So while it’s fine to enjoy Gonzo anal releases such as
Bongwater Butt Babes,
don’t for a moment try to replicate it in real life with a real partner, unless she’s inflatable.

In Slow — Out Slow

No matter what you are putting inside a rectum, it needs to go in very slowly and come out very slowly.

Most people have no difficulty grasping the former, but they don’t realize that anything being pulled out of a rectum, whether it’s a finger, penis or butt plug, needs to be pulled out slowly. Otherwise, extreme discomfort and even physical damage might result.

Anal-Intercourse Alternatives

One of the most sensitive parts of the human body is the skin that surrounds the outer rim of your anus. It’s easy to stimulate this area with a thumb, finger, tongue or butt plug without sticking a penis all the way up it. Some women who are receiving vaginal stimulation enjoy it when a partner puts pressure on their anus with a thumb or finger. Just be sure to avoid putting something that’s been up an anus into a vagina.

All’s Fair in Anal Play

It’s only fair that if a guy wants to stick his penis up a partner’s rectum, she should be able to stick something of comparable size up his. Plus, it will help him become a more sensitive anal lover. Vegetables aren’t a good idea. You don’t want a vegetable breaking off and taking up permanent residence inside your man’s rectum. Use a dedicated anal toy or butt plug.

Butt Plugs

Butt plugs are dildo-like objects made specifically for the rear end. They have flared bases to keep them from getting lost on the Hershey Highway. Butt plugs come in many different sizes, and some even vibrate. People use butt plugs to give their rear ends a feeling of fullness. They are much better suited for this purpose than a dildo, which is made for thrusting.

Dildo Deluxe

If you are considering a dildo or butt plug, be sure to check out places like Good Vibrations, Toys in Babeland, JTs Stockroom, and Blowfish to find which dildos are best for anal penetration. They will also be able to tell you which dildo will fit into which harness, if you are so inclined.

If you plan to use a dildo for both vaginal and anal recreation, it is a good idea to get a separate one for each port of entry. Having dedicated dildos helps decrease the chance that fecal matter will get into the vagina. Sex toys vary greatly in price. If you are experimenting, a jelly butt toy or even a cheapo latex one might be OK. Be sure to put a condom on them before each use because the surfaces are porous and might collect fecal matter.

Pegging or “Bend Over Boyfriend”

“My boyfriend of five years actually made the suggestion that I penetrate him anally. I lubricated the finger with the shortest nail on it and slowly slid it into his anus. He enjoyed it so much that he asked for two fingers and then three. While doing this, I also alternated sucking and manually pumping his cock with my other hand. He had a mind-blowing orgasm. He tells me it’s the kind you feel deep down to your toes.... I’m now looking for a strap-on that stimulates me as well as him!”
female age 40

Some people feel that only gay guys like things up their rears. Yet straight men have rectums that are every bit as sensitive as those of gay men. While plenty of straight men would rather not have a dildo or butt plug put up their rear, other manly guys enjoy the feeling tremendously. In fact, there are straight adult video series titled
Bend Over Boyfriend
and
Babes Ballin’ Boys.

As for penetrating their men anally, some women hold a dildo with their fingers; others put it in a dildo harness and propel it with their hips. A dildo harness looks somewhat like a jock strap and holds the dildo in the same position as a man’s erect penis. This allows the woman to thrust in and out, more or less. Learning how to use a dildo in a harness is an acquired art that takes time and patience. Also, keep in mind that a man’s anal sphincters need just as much rectal foreplay as a woman’s.

Consider trying a harness that straps to your thigh. It might be easier to control than the model that goes over your crotch.

Toy Precautions

• Rectums are hungry orifices. Make sure that anything going up them is firmly anchored on the outside of the body so it can’t get sucked up inside. Dildos or butt plugs with flared bases are best for anal play, as it is unlikely you will need the assistance of an emergency-room crew to get them out.
  
• Be sure that anything inserted into the rectum is smooth with no points or ridges.
  
• Anal beads consist of five large beads on a string. They resemble worry beads, but each bead is held in place on the string so it doesn’t slide. While anal beads can be used to count your worries on, people usually stick them up their butt. They are slowly pulled out, often at the point of orgasm, which can make for a super-charged orgasm. Anal beads can be as small as mothballs or as big as golf balls. If the beads are plastic and have sharp blow-mold edges, file them down first. Also, it is wise to encase them in a condom before inserting. That’s because they are very difficult to fully clean.
  

Prostate Stimulation

The only time most straight men get anal stimulation is during a physical exam. Men who are curious about feeling their own prostate can do so by reaching between their legs and sticking a well-lubricated finger up their own anus. Pressing on the prostate will probably cause a dull, subtle sensation in the penis. Some men find that the physical contortions necessary to reach their own prostate can result in unanticipated trips to the chiropractor. To avoid this, you can purchase specially curved sex toys that help a guy to stimulate his prostate. For more on sex play with the prostate, see Chapter 18:
The Prostate & The Male Pelvic Underground
.