The Girl by the Thames (5 page)

Chapter 6

Tanya was on a mission. It swept her along the pavement like an unstoppable force. Lena could hardly keep up.

“Slow down,” she complained. Tanya ignored her. “It’s only a whale.”

“Do you realise how rare a humpback whale is?” Tanya was aware she was speaking Roger’s words.

“Why have you suddenly gone all Ray Mears?”

“Look, why don’t you piss off,” Tanya said, ignoring Lena’s question. Apart from giving her tons of ammo with which to take the piss, Tanya couldn’t figure out why Lena was bothering to come along.  She was never interested in anything unless it involved alcohol and trouble. And she had access to plenty of both, so why follow Tanya all the way down here? Maybe she wanted to see the whale but didn’t want to admit it. Neither of them had ever seen any wild animals before, apart from dangerous dogs on studded leads or rats eating takeaway leftovers.

“Hey,” said Lena, catching Tanya up, “if the TV cameras are down there maybe we’ll get on telly, be famous.”

“This ain’t a joke, it’s important.”

“You got it bad, girl. And over a whale, you sad. You beyond sad.” 

“Fuck you, Lena.”

As they rounded the corner, Tanya stopped without warning. Lena nearly shunted into the back of her. She was just about to unleash more jibes when she saw why Tanya had hit the brakes.

“Bloody hell,” said Lena.

“I don’t believe it,” Tanya added.

There in front of them was an ocean of people all trying to get a glimpse of the whale.

“We’ll never get through that,” said Lena.

“I thought you wanted to get on telly. Come on, let’s bust this crowd open.” Tanya strutted towards the bubbling mass and started shouldering people out of the way, regardless of whether they were young or old. Before anyone realised what she was doing, Tanya had already moved on and lost herself in the crowd. Lena stood watching for a second as her friend ploughed a path through the mob.

“Tanya, wait for me.” Lena took a deep breath and dived in using the same technique. People were irritated to see a second rude teenager pushing them out of the way. There were various tuts and ‘Do you minds’ and ‘How dare yous’ and a few people shoved back, but Lena held firm until she reached her friend at the front.

Tanya had her fists wrapped around a steel barrier that stopped the crowd from getting anywhere near the embankment wall. It was cold and dirty and separated them from what they wanted to see. Without getting past the barricade there was no way of getting even a glimpse of the whale. Several policemen were dotted along the line of barriers watching for any trouble. Lena jabbed one in the arm.

“Hey,” she said, “I need to get in there.”

“Yeah, you and half of London,” he replied, not looking at her.

“You don’t understand, I discovered the whale.”

“Yeah, right.” The policeman replied still scanning the crowd with not even a glance in Tanya’s direction.

“I did. You calling me a liar?”

“Behave, little girl.” He looked straight at Tanya. “Or I’ll stick you in a cell.”

The idea of leaping over the barricade and making a run for it flitted across her mind, but there were too many police. She’d probably only get a couple of metres before being tackled to the ground and clumped a few time with a truncheon. Then it would be a night in a cell and that would mean game over. She wouldn’t be allowed anywhere near the whale again.

“This is stupid,” Tanya protested. Lena came up alongside her, squeezing her way past everyone.

“Come on, mate, why don’t we try a bit later?” Lena said.

“I really want to see it.”

“I know.”

“No you don’t. It’s amazing. Like seeing an alien or something.”

“Look, let’s get drunk and forget about it.”

“I don’t want to get drunk, that’s what we do when there’s nothing going on. This is something. It’s a whale and I want to see it.”

Lena looked at her friend. This didn’t sound like her. It was like a spoilt middle-class brat had taken over her body and was whining because she couldn’t have a pony. As for not wanting to get drunk, that was just wrong.

“You’re weird,” said Lena.

A phone started buzzing and each of them checked to see if it was theirs. The bleeps belonged to Lena’s phone. It was a text.

“Tanya, I gotta go.”

“Why?”

“Niners stuff.”

“Oh.” Tanya laced the word with plenty of hurt.

“Look, we’ll meet up later, I promise. Okay?”

“Okay.”

Then Lena was gone.

Tanya felt strange and she couldn’t figure out why. She was definitely disappointed and slightly lonely now Lena had gone, but there was something else in the mix. It was odd and didn’t seem to fit right. Tanya pushed her way back out of the crowd, analysing her thoughts as she went. That in itself was unusual. When did she ever think about what she was doing? Except maybe when she was thinking about where the next drink was coming from. Maybe that was it. Lena had just asked her if she wanted to get drunk. Normally there was no need to ask. Without thinking about it the answer was always a yes. But not this time. Tanya just wasn’t interested.

Her life revolved around drinking. It defined her and was her motivation for everything. It was an addiction that consumed every hour of the day. But right now it wasn’t important to her. It seemed dull and pointless. Maybe Lena was right. Maybe she was weird. Her friend had a lake of free alcohol under her bed but Tanya just couldn’t get excited about it. She should have been pestering Lena to crack open a beer or some cider and drink until they couldn’t stand up, or begging Lena to let her come along to the gang meeting. Maybe it was because she had a hangover and just wasn’t in the mood. But she knew that was a lie.

Her feet took her in the direction of the main shopping area in Woolwich. This was purely by accident. Tanya was putting one foot in front of the other without thinking why. Her mind had plunged into a deep and thoughtful mood. Walking usually helped slot things into place. Not this time. Her brain didn’t seem to be firing properly and random thoughts collided with each other like asteroids in space. Little explosions were going off. It was like her head was being rewired.

Shops were closing all around her. Doors got bolted and people were politely asked to leave. Some were still open, mostly clothes shops and Tanya walked into a few just for something to do. Stupid day-glo signs hung everywhere shouting out buy-one-get-one free offers. It seemed like nothing was its normal price. None of the clothes really interested her. They all looked the same and she had no money anyway so it was all completely pointless. It was just a distraction. She needed something to take her mind off the fireworks that were happening in her head.

Tanya quickly exhausted the number of clothes shops to waste time in. Then she saw that Waterstones was still open. It was the one shop she’d never been into, maybe apart from the gourmet pasty shop, which seemed like the dumbest idea ever. Pasties were what you ate when you were pissed, how could they be gourmet?

Tanya crossed the threshold and was hit by that freshly minted book smell; a new experience for her. She’d been in the library at school before but only because she had to. All the books in there smelt stale and old, like a damp mattress.

This smell was different, crisp and clean, but Tanya still didn’t get the point of books. They were boring, for sad people with no life. Magazines she could understand. They had pictures of fit people who were busy being famous and hanging out in places she’d never be able to get into. Sometimes Tanya wished she could climb into the shiny photos and do what they were doing. To be part of their perfect photoshopped lives. Whereas hers felt like it had been painted with the shitty end of a stick. Their world was all flashbulbs and red carpets, and being on guest lists to exclusive night clubs where the drinks were free and tidy blokes queued up just to talk to you. It gave Tanya a warm tingle whenever she fantasised about being in that world of celebrity magazines. But books, they were just all words, like a load of dry old sawdust.

As she wandered around looking at the pretty covers a shop assistant whose staff t-shirt was too tight for him asked if she needed any help.

He had a small pot belly that stuck out like it was trying to escape from the rest of him. An odour of sickly sweet sweat hung around him in a cloud. A couple of friendship bands were lassoed around his fat wrist. Definitely a student. 

“Is there anything I can help you find?” he asked.

Tanya was about to say no when she changed her mind.

“Yeah, do you have anything on whales?”

“We do. Everyone’s gone mad since the Thames Whale. Nearly cleared us out. I think we’ve got a couple left over here.”

Tanya tagged along behind his adolescent stench, to the back of the store where there was a section entitled Natural History. She didn’t understand what that meant, but she could see all the books perched there had lush pictures of wild animals in dramatic poses. Eagles picking fish out of lakes and lions chasing leaping gazelles.

One area of shelving was almost empty, apart from a couple of large glossy hardbacks that had toppled over and were now leaning at an angle like fallen trees.

“This was full this morning. All the paperbacks on whales have gone. All we’ve got left are these hardbacks. They’re a bit more expensive, but the photography is beautiful.”

He picked up the larger of the two books and flicked through to a double page spread. He held it out for Tanya to see. A humpback was punching straight out of a perfect blue ocean. Sunlight bounced off its glistening body. It looked unreal, like it had been CGIed onto the page. Tanya couldn’t believe that this beautiful thing existed in the same world she lived in.

It took her a few seconds to realise her mouth was open. She clamped it closed. An instinctive reaction. It was never good to look too impressed at anything around here, it made you look weak. She was in denial, though. The creature on the page was awesome. Like something from a fantasy world inhabited by unicorns and elves. The idea that the same creature as this was lying on a filthy river bank didn’t seem possible.

“I’ll leave you to it,” he said, handing her the book.

Tanya stared at the image, nearly forgetting to blink until her eyes went crusty. She flicked to the next page as more wonderful eye candy flashed against her retinas. Each shot revealed more and more humpback antics as they cavorted in midair, their massive leaps sticking two fingers up at gravity.

Then Tanya did something quite irrational and out of character. She started reading. Tanya sucked down information, as if the words might disappear and be lost forever at any moment. She didn’t even realise she was doing it until the fat boy tapped her on the shoulder.

“I’m sorry we’re about to close,” he said.

Tanya nodded and when he walked away she closed the book and held it out, as if she was trying to decide whether to buy it or not. It was all an act. She knew she wanted it and the charade gave her time to work out how to get it out of the shop without paying for it.

She’d never stolen a book before. She’d stolen everything else: clothes, jewellery, make up, music, drink, her dad’s money – but never anything with pages.

Tanya did a Jason Bourne and slyly checked the store, gathering intel. Things like the layout and where the exit was in relation to the counter. She clocked just two members of staff. The fat boy who was now behind the till and an older female assistant who was talking to a customer. She wouldn’t be a problem, but getting past him could prove difficult. The book was too big to hide anywhere so Tanya opted for a technique that had served her well in the past. Do the opposite of what a shoplifter was supposed to do.

Tanya tucked the book under her arm and headed for the tills.

She looked straight into the boy’s eyes. He smiled back at her. Perfect. Now he trusts me, thought Tanya. Her face was a mask of calm even though the palms of her hands betrayed her. They were sweaty and slid against the glossy dust jacket of the book like a squeegee on wet glass. She took comfort that she’d done this a hundred times before and had got away with it.

She handed him the book and he scanned it with a gun that made a high pitched tweet. Then he pushed it into a carrier bag and laid it on the counter.

“That’s £39.99 please.”

Tanya made a pantomime of digging in her jeans for some notes.

“Dictionary,” she said.

“What?” the boy asked.

“I completely forgot what I came in for. A dictionary. I need a little one for school.”

“Oh, we have loads of those, right at the far wall.”

“Could you get me one? It’s going to take me ages to get my cash out of my pocket – these jeans are so-o tight.”

Tanya pushed her hands into her skinny jeans as close to her crotch as she could. The boy swallowed. A bit of titillation was always good for a distraction.

He obeyed and left the till, taking his access card with him. It was on a lanyard around his neck. Tanya waited until he was nearly at the reference section where the dictionaries were kept. The timing had to be perfect so she would have the biggest head start. He got there and dropped to his knees to check out the mini dictionaries on the bottom shelf. That would buy her an extra second or two.