The Gambler (34 page)

"I think Jude was wrong all along," she murmured.

"About what?" To Raven's ears, his tone sounded rather strange. Tight somehow.

"About men. I think he was wrong." She reached out, touching his stubbled cheek. Despite what he'd said to Clancy, despite his own admission that he was only accompanying her for the money, she believed he wanted more.
Needed
more. Needed
her.
Or did she only want to believe? "I think... I think I can trust you."

"With what?" Raven asked breathlessly.

With my heart,
Charm thought, but habit and caution kept her from saying it. She took a deep breath. "I know it's not... I know it's not a real marriage." She scowled and looked away, unable to hold his gaze.

He said nothing, and she felt her tension increase. With all her heart she wished he would deny her words, say she was wrong. Their union
was
real. Very real. The kind that held two people together for eternity. The kind a woman could depend on, to protect her, to cherish her, to allow her to cherish in return. The silence was sickening. All certainty fled. He didn't care for her, never had. "I'm sorry about everything," she whispered. "I didn't want to trick you into marrying me. I was just..." Why didn't he say something? Why did her chest feel so tight? She squeezed her eyes closed for a moment, then pursed her lips and set her resolve. She was being an idiot. Obviously he didn't share her feelings and resented being trapped here with her. Jude had been right; women
were
fools when it came to men. Charm straightened her back. "We'll have the marriage annulled."

Raven tightened his fists. "It... can wait."

She swallowed, wishing she was a thousand miles away and that she'd never met this man. "I think it would be best to take care of it right away."

"Traveling might be safer for you as a married woman," Raven said. "And more respectable, of course. No one need know that we don't..."

His words stopped abruptly. She waited, holding her breath, feeling frozen with fear. "Don't what?" She couldn't stop the whispered question.

"Don't share a bed," he answered huskily.

"But there's only one." She watched his nostrils flare and his fists tighten. What did it mean?

"Neither of us wanted this marriage, Charm. There's no reason to pretend otherwise."

Never had she experienced pain quite like what she felt now. It reverberated from her heart, hindering her every breath. What a fool she was. "No. Of course not. I was simply afraid Jude would shoot you."

His nostrils were still flared, though his fists had loosened a smidgen. "I appreciate what you did, but there's no reason we should both suffer the rest of our lives because of Jude's irrationality."

Suffer the rest of their lives! "No. Of course not." She turned away, hoping to reach the door before she fell apart. "I'll look immediately into getting it annulled."

"Charm!" His hand caught hers suddenly. "Not tonight!"

Did she imagine the sharp edge to his words? And if she didn't—what did it mean?

"Please." He loosened his grip abruptly, as if feeling foolish for his act of drama. "Don't bother. Not tonight."

There was something in his tone,
something
, but she didn't know what.

He dropped his hand away as suddenly as he'd grabbed her. "If you're afraid that I'll... that I'll take advantage of the situation..."

"No." No, she certainly didn't think that. After all, he had fought to keep from being bound to her. There was no reason to think he would allow himself to be trapped now.

"Then why not rest tonight?" His fingers had curled against his palm, not quite forming a fist, but almost. "You must be tired."

"Yes. I am." Exhausted. Tired enough to die. To want to die. To wish she'd never been.

"Why not lie down, Charm? I won't... I won't touch you."

"No." She turned away from the bed. "I'm sure you won't. I just think it would be best to resolve this... situation immediately." She was almost to the door, had almost forced her legs to carry her that far.

"Charm!" His voice was strangely husky, and she turned, locking her gaze on his face. It was shadowed by dusk and whiskers, making his thoughts unreadable. "Please. Not tonight. We've shared a bed before, with no harm to anyone."

She hesitated, trying not to fall under his dark spell. How could he know the harm he had caused her? How could he know she had almost learned to trust, only to find that trust led to a pain she'd never anticipated? But he'd never said he wanted to marry her. Indeed, he'd always been honest in his wish to be rid of her.

"Just tonight." His voice was not demanding, not frightening.

She tried to reach for the door, but her fingers refused to move to the handle. "I suppose I shouldn't leave you alone," she whispered.

"No."

She glanced at the floor and then toward the portal she had almost reached. "I can... I can nullify the marriage tomorrow."

He said nothing, but she could feel his tension, and she drew in a shaky breath, wondering how to hold back the tears. Wondering why they were there, behind her lids, filling her head.

"Charm, what's wrong?"

"Nothing." Her answer hadn't sounded quite right. She cleared her throat. "Just tired."

"Come and lie down."

She hesitated for several moments, torn between the desire to run away and another desire, something stronger, something unthinkable. "Perhaps I should sleep in the chair."

"You mean snatch."

"What?"

"You don't sleep, remember?"

"Oh." She felt worn and frazzled, weary beyond the boundaries of her body, and without thinking, she could remember how his hands felt against her flesh. How they had soothed the ache from her muscles and lulled her into blissful sleep. "Yes."

"So couldn't you risk not sleeping in bed, since you'll be able to keep an eye on me all night?"

She opened her mouth to object, but he hurried to override her words. "I'm hurt, Charm. What could I do?"

He'd confused the issue. The question was no longer what
he
would do, but what
she
would do. She finally lay down without a word. The room was quite dark now, the ceiling blank and white.

"I thought you trusted me."

She didn't look at him. All the reasons someone might try to hang him were rushing ruthlessly back into her mind. "What do you mean?"

"You didn't take off your shoes. Planning on a speedy retreat?"

She squeezed her eyes closed. "Leave it alone, Raven."

"Raven
again." Silence followed. "Charm?"

She couldn't answer, and fought back the humiliating agony of tears.

"Charm." He was closer suddenly. "What is it? Have I done something wrong?" Damn! She was crying. "Charm."

She felt his breath against her cheek, and there was nothing she could do but turn into his arms.

"You're crying," he said, sounding shocked.

She tried to bury her face against his neck, but he held her back and brushed his fingertips across her cheek. The wetness smeared warm and salty to her lips. His fingers skimmed across them, and she shivered with feelings so deep they nagged at her soul. She must run away, she must! For now he would learn the truth. She'd committed the unforgivable sin. She'd fallen in love.

"Why?" he whispered. "Why are you crying? Please." The single word was little more than a warm breath against her face. The kiss, feather soft, felt no more substantial. "Don't cry." He kissed her again, beside her mouth. "Tell me what I did." His voice was husky, and he kissed her eyelid now, which was wet. "I'll undo it, Charm. I swear I will."

Never had she felt anything that ripped at her soul like the feel of his kisses against her love-starved skin. She couldn't move away, though she knew she should.

He kissed the bridge of her nose, where a tear had made an erratic escape. "What have I done, Charm?" His question sounded anguished.

"Nothing."

He kissed the corner of her mouth again, but suddenly he stiffened. "Clancy, damn his hide! What'd he do?"

She failed to immediately follow his line of thought.

Raven jerked away, rage possessing him. "I'll kill him!"

"No." She reached for him in desperation. "Clancy didn't do anything," she whispered and leaning forward, kissed his lips.

It was a magic never before experienced by either of them. It seared them like lightning, burning their flesh, confusing their thoughts, and suddenly they were clasped together in each other's tight embrace, feeling the heat and raw energy sizzle around and through them. Their tongues met, clashing in a gentle joust of sensation. Raven pulled his mouth away but only for a moment, and now his kisses rained across her cheek to find her ear. Charm shivered, feeling the tingling trail of his caresses curve across her ear in tiny nibbles of desire.

She was breathing hard. Her eyes were closed and her back arched. Every nerve was vibrating for his attention, and now his kisses fell lower, down the length of her throat to her collarbone. She shivered again, and when his lips reached the tiny hollow in her throat, she gasped. His fingers touched the buttons at the back of her gown, peeling it open. His lips left her flesh.

"No," she moaned.

"No?" he breathed, sounding hopelessly weak, but pulling his hands away with great effort.

"No!" she repeated, but drew his face back to her and kissed him with all the passion that smoldered within her. "Don't stop. Please."

For just a moment he waited, staring into her eyes before he pulled her into his embrace again. Nothing was held back now. Sheer desire took control, desire for touch, for feeling, for unity.

Her dress fell away from her shoulders. Raven followed its exit with kisses, running the length of her right arm, down to her shivering fingers, then back up, over the delicate, cringing bend to her shoulder. Charm drew it toward her ear, unable to bear the titillation, yet certain she would die if it stopped. And now he kissed the rounded swell of a breast. Never had she imagined she would burn so. Never had she thought she would need to feel his flesh against hers as she did now.

Her hands were trembling, but moved slowly along his sides to hug him to her. And then she kissed his chest, between his left nipple and the empty chain. Her hands slipped lower, and she closed her eyes, feeling the heat of his flesh sear her senses. She pulled him closer, pressing her half bared bosom against the solid mass of his torso.

Raven's moan was like a tonic, splashing hot excitement into her already overheated system. She tilted her chin up, kissing his chest again. His second moan was accompanied by the hard grip of his arms about her. Charm felt the backwash of her own warm breath against her face and knew she was far past control, deep into the raging flood of desire. But his head was thrown back now, and she could feel the steely tremble of his arms about her. Such strength there, and yet she made him shake. She kissed his nipple, and the tremor seemed to rip from his body directly into hers.

"Charm!" His voice was ragged, barely coherent, but she gave him no time to say more. Taking his nipple between her lips, she sucked it gently into her mouth.

His breath came in fire-rapid gasps. "Charm," he moaned again, and she pulled back finally, aching with a new, indescribable need. Somehow she had become planted on top of him. Though a sheet still remained between their lower bodies, she could feel the raging heat of his desire against her. She pressed into it, forcing a moan from them both. "Charm," he repeated, but she could see no reason for talk. She rocked against him again, a little harder now and slower.

Whatever he'd planned to say was lost. With a groan of savage desire he pushed her upward and kissed her. Rolling her onto her side, he yanked the sheet from between them. Somehow her gown too was pulled upward, and now, with a suddenness that should have been frightening, his engorged heat was pressed between her legs, against the steamy core of her being.

He kissed her breasts where they swelled taut and aching above her corset. Charm moaned and rocked up against him, and somehow, with the ease of oiled perfection, he slipped between the separate legs of her pantalettes and inside. Their gasps came in unison as both bodies jolted to a rigid halt. He was just within the hot gates, not too far surely to draw out and say it had never been.

"Charm!" Her name was no more than a hoarse plea on his lips, but what he pleaded for she couldn't guess, for at that moment she lost every vestige of control, and tipping her hips forward, pressed him deep inside.

There was a harsh rip of pain and pleasure. He gritted his teeth and she did the same, pressing in for more, and for a moment he obliged, rocking against her, thrust for thrust, before pulling out with a ragged curse.

"Raven!" she gasped, destitute.

"Damn it, Charm!" He was breathing like a running stallion, harsh and loud and hard. "This is no way to do it."

"No?" Her own breathing sounded no more sedate.

"Not with you," he moaned, pulling her back into his arms. "I need to caress you. To kiss—"

"Kiss me then," she ordered, and pushing him back into his pillow, pressed her lips to his lips and her hips to his.

His tongue touched hers. Their lower bodies jolted and suddenly, whether planned or not, he was inside once again, past the linen gown, the cotton pantalettes, and deep into the forbidden Eden.

If he tried to stop again, Charm never knew it for she was far beyond noticing anything but the need to fill the void. She pushed against him, welding them together with hot pleasure, pumping their desire to fiery heights until in a raspy shriek of surprise she climbed over the need and into the long soft folds of satisfaction. With a shiver that met his, she fell against his chest. Their hearts thrummed in tandem and their rapid, uneven breathing melded until finally, exhausted and sated, she drifted into the cumulus softness of sleep.

"Wake up, Charm," Raven whispered. "We have to get you out of those clothes."

She didn't stir, but remained as she was, looking young and tousled and innocent. Raven settled back on an elbow, watching her sleep. Although it had been several hours since they'd consummated their wedding vows, he remained sleepless, for the enormity of the act kept him far from the sweet gates of slumber. Good God, what had he done? Slipping stiffly from the bed, he padded naked across the floor to the window. The night was silent and moon-shadowed, casting soft shades of blue across the room. Raven drew a deep breath and turned to see how that same moonlight caressed the girl's sleeping features.