The Future of Our Past (The Remembrance Trilogy) (7 page)

Her tongue came out to lick my upper lip and my breath left me in a rush, my body tightening in response.

I held her head with gentle hands as my mouth finally settled over hers. Our open mouths were soft and searching. It felt new and exciting, but also so right. Our lips knew exactly how to mirror each other and move in perfect unison. She sucked on my upper lip and then I sucked on her lower one. I thought I’d died and gone to heaven.

“Julia, my God,” I groaned against her mouth as I gathered her close to me and lay her down on the bed. I moved over her and kissed her again and again. The nearness of her, what I’d been dreaming of for so long was finally within reach, but I wanted to take it slow, to savor every touch. “Kissing you is every bit as incredible as I’ve imagined it would be.”

Her hands moved around my shoulders and into my hair as she pulled me closer. Knowing she wanted me, made me insane. I could feel the urgency in her body, as she surged against me, and I parted her legs with one of mine. This was a fantasy that I’d had a million times, and it was finally being fulfilled.

She felt so good, her body molding perfectly to mine. I ground my hardness against her and she moaned against my mouth. “Ryan, uhh…”

“Uhhh, say it again,” I begged against her mouth.

“Ryan…” she gasped before my mouth devoured hers again and again, and the friction of our bodies making us both breathless. I cupped her breast and my body swelled even more as I teased the peak until it strained in my hand. I had to taste her, and urgently pushed her shirt up to expose her bare breasts. She was perfect. Round and firm with erect pink nipples.

“You’re so beautiful. I can’t tell you how long I’ve wanted this.” I groaned as I dragged my open mouth from hers, down over her neck and chest until it finally closed over one of her luscious nipples. Her back arched toward me and her hands wound in my hair as I pulled it into my mouth, suckling and flicking it with my tongue. I thrust against her hip, seeking the contact that I so desperately needed.

I had her writhing beneath me and desire for her drove me insane.

I moaned softly as her nipple popped from between my lips and I brushed her hair back off of her face. “Do you want me to stop? I don’t want to do anything you don’t want, baby.”

She searched my face and reached up to flutter her finger tips across my jaw. “Ryan, I…I want you, but I’m scared of what will happen to us…later.”

I kissed her nose and then her eyelids and cheeks before moving back to her mouth to tease it back into another deep kiss. I loved how she responded to me. It felt like she couldn’t help herself and it was the sexiest thing I’d ever experienced.

Hearing her say she wanted me turned me on beyond comprehension.

“I know; me too…but you feel so good, we fit so perfectly…I can feel your heart beating against mine. I can tell how amazing we’ll be together.”

Her hands moved up my chest and one of mine moved down between her legs never taking my eyes from her face. Her mouth fell open and her eyes closed as my hand rubbed her over her clothes. “God, Julia, you’re so hot, you drive me crazy.” Her body arched against my hand and my dick literally ached as it twitched against her hip. “I’ve wanted you, to touch you like this since the day we met.”

“Why didn’t you, then?” she moaned before she raised her head toward mine, clearly seeking my kiss. I was only too willing to oblige her as my mouth took hers again in a series of hot, wet kisses, our tongues laving and playing with each other.

Yes, why the fuck didn’t I?

Her hand moved down to grasp around me and I was lost. “Julia…baby…”

There was a loud knocking on the door. “Ryan…” Aaron opened my door and came inside, the light in the hall flooding the room and blinding me. Julia tried to move away from me, but I held her where she was, shielding her so Aaron wouldn’t see her behind my body. Her breathing was as heavy as mine as she looked up into my eyes.

“What is it, Aaron?” I struggled to keep my voice even.

“Um, Jen is sick and I can’t find the box with all of the medicine in it. Where is it?”

“I don’t think I brought it in yet. It’s in my car.”

“She’s puking in the bathroom, and I’m not dressed, so can you get the Pepto Bismol?”

Ugh! Of all nights for this to happen…shit!
“Yeah. I’ll be out in a minute.”

“Thanks,” Aaron mumbled and closed the door.

I gathered Julia close and kissed her forehead. “I’m so sorry, honey. I’ll be right back.” I pushed off the bed and hurried down the hall, grabbed my keys from the table by the door and ran outside. It was dark and I couldn’t see what I was doing. It took a few minutes to find the box of supplies and I ended up hitting my head on the hatchback.

“Holy hell!”

It hurt like a son-of-a-bitch and I put my hand to my head to find the warm ooze on my temple.

“It looks like Jen isn’t the only one who needs medical attention,” I muttered to myself as I tried to avoid the rocks beneath my bare feet. “Shit.”

Back inside, I set the box on the kitchen table and turned on the small light over the sink. Digging through it I found the stomach medicine and padded down the hall to Aaron and Jenna’s room. I knocked and handed it to him when he opened the door.

“Thanks, man. I hope we didn’t wake up Julia,” he said.

“Uh, I don’t know. I’ll check on her. I hope Jen feels better.” I said as I turned toward my room and wiped at the blood on my head. The wound was beginning to drip, but I wanted to let Julia know I’d be a few minutes more while I tended to the gash on my head.

“Julia…?” I whispered as I pushed open my bedroom door. I moved to the bed, but she wasn’t there.

I walked back to the living room and found her laying back on the couch, covered up to her chin, so I went to kneel beside her. “I’m sorry it took me a while to find it…”

She looked at me and gasped. “Oh my God, Ryan! What happened?”

“I bashed my head on the hatchback.”

Her hand came up to my forehead and she frowned. “It looks bad. Let’s go into the kitchen so I can clean it up. You may need stitches.” The concern in her voice was clear. “Come on.” She got up and I followed her.

Julia motioned for me to sit down on a chair and then turned on the light over the sink. Julia arranged the kitchen when we unpacked so knew her way around. She took a towel out of the drawer and wet it before dabbing at the cut.

I winced at the pain. “Sorry, sweetie.”

She worked to clean the wound, but all I could do was stare at her breasts rising and falling in an even rhythm with her breathing. Her breasts that not fifteen minutes before had been bare and underneath my tongue.

I
felt my body spring back to life as I let my thoughts wander.

“It doesn’t look like you’ll need stitches, but you should have a butterfly bandage. Do you have any?” she asked.

“I think in this box.” I shoved it toward her. “I thought I was the doctor here, but you’re doing a damn good job.” I smiled up at her as she placed the bandage on my forehead and placed a kiss next to it. Her lips felt so soft and warm against my skin.

My hands moved up to her hips and I drew her closer to me, tilting my head up to nuzzle her chin with my nose as she stood in front of me. “Hey…” I said softly

“Ryan…we should sleep. You have an important day tomorrow, and you’re injured.” She leaned her head on mine and it felt like the most natural thing in the world to have her here, in my arms, in my life…in my heart. Her hand fluttered along my jaw.

My head was starting to throb. As if she read my mind, she reached in the box behind me on the table, found some Tylenol and handed it to me. She pulled away from me to get a glass of water.

I put two pills in my mouth and swallowed. “You always take such good care of me, baby.” Setting the glass down, I pulled her to stand between my legs and wrapped her in my arms.

“Listen, Julia…the interruption just now was the biggest case of bad timing in my life, but I need you to trust me. What’s happening here is really us, okay? I don’t want the light of day seeing you pull away from this.”

She nodded silently and kissed me softly. When she moved away, my hands drew her back closer and I took her mouth harder, my tongue sliding into the warm recesses of her mouth as she opened to me. We kissed again until finally she pulled away.

“You need sleep, Ryan, okay?” I sighed and dropped my forehead to her shoulder.

“Will you sleep with me if I promise to be good?” I smiled up at her, but felt the sadness in my heart as I looked at the clock on the stove. It was 2:37 and she would need to leave by 7:30. My throat tightened as I held her close. I felt a huge loss at not being able to make love to her as I wanted, but more, the loss of her coming departure with all this uncertainty between us left a hole in my chest.

“Yeah, ok. I’m really going to miss you.”

I pulled her close again and rubbed my hands up and down her back as her arms wrapped around my shoulders in a tight hug. It felt so great to hold her like this and know she wouldn’t pull away. That she
allowed
me to touch her as a lover and not just a friend.

“Missing you is…I can’t even talk about it. There are no words for how much it hurts.”

I took her hand and shut off the light. She followed me down the hall to my room and we crawled into bed together. I reached for her under the covers and pulled her close. She snuggled into my shoulder and her arm slid around my waist.

I sighed and pressed a kiss to her temple. I felt content as I let myself fall asleep.

*****

In what seemed like 5 minutes, the alarm was beeping and Julia was sitting up and running her hands through her hair before getting out of bed. Again, loss and panic rose in my chest. She wouldn’t look at me as she hovered at the foot of the bed.

“Can you come here for a minute, please?” I asked uneasily. I didn’t really know what was going on, but I needed to make sure we were okay.

She sat next to me and I reached for her.

“Are you upset about what happened between us last night?” I was terrified of her answer, but I had to ask.

She shrugged. “Not upset, exactly…I just worry…”

I squeezed her hand. “Stop. I thought it was incredible and something I’ve wanted for a very long time. I wanted to finally make love to you, Julia. Please don’t regret one of the most beautiful moments of my life. Please.”

“I don’t,” she said softly as she gave me one of our nudges. “It felt amazing, but I’m scared…of the distance, scared of missing you more than I already will,” her voice broke on the last word and she lifted her liquid green eyes to mine. “I’m afraid I’ll make the wrong choices, turn down jobs I should take or any range of other stupid things. Maybe distract you from medical school when you need to focus.”

“Don’t worry about me. I’ll do what I need to do, and
nothing
could make me miss you more than I already will. So can we just be us, and roll with this please?”

She nodded and I pulled her close to me. My eyes closed as love flooded through me. I wondered if I should tell her how I felt but didn’t know if she was ready to hear the words. Last night was a huge step, even if we hadn’t made love.

“Just don’t forget to remember me while we’re apart. We’ll work it out, Okay?”

“I could never forget you, Ryan,” she said softly as she hugged me back and turned her head to kiss me. “You’re burned into me forever.”

~3~

Gross.

A truer statement had never been made. Two months in and I still gagged every time I walked into my Gross Anatomy lab. The smell was more than any normal person could stand. Our professor had passed out little jars of Vicks ointment on the first day of class, telling us that this would become our very best friend. He laughed at the looks on our faces when he instructed us that we were to put it just inside our nostrils before we ever walked into the room.

I’d laughed at the time, thinking to myself that it couldn’t be
that
bad. It fucking
was.
It was
worse.

First semester med students were no doubt weeded out if they couldn’t make it through that damn class. If you were one of the lucky ones who didn’t run home screaming with your tail between your legs, you got a reward. And what could possibly be better than dissecting a human cadaver over the course of three and a half months?