The Future of Our Past (The Remembrance Trilogy) (38 page)

I reached down to scratch the back of my thigh, lifting the edge of my skirt to gain access. I sighed and threw the boards back down on the slanted surface of the table.

“Now that is a sight for sore eyes,” Ryan’s perfect voice oozed like velvet around me. “I think I need to get me some of that. Get over here.”

A smile spread out on my face before I even turned around. I didn’t have far to go. He was right behind me and enfolded me in his arms immediately. “You’re so gorgeous. I love this dress. I can feel
everything
through the material,” he whispered silkily as his delicious scent enveloped me. “A thong, right? Mmm…” His fingers played with the back of it underneath the thin silk.

I heard my door close behind him and his brow shot up in question as his lips broke out in the crooked grin that I loved. “Andrea,” I explained. “She’s an amazing assistant. Shut up and kiss me.” I slid my hands up his chest, around his neck and into the hair at his nape.

He laughed out loud at the smirk on my face. “Thought you’d never ask, my love.”

His mouth swooped down on mine and my heart clenched inside my chest. I kissed him as if my life depended on it. As if it were the last time I’d ever kiss him. Ryan felt the gravity of my response and groaned into my mouth, his hands sliding over my ass to press me into his already hardening body. Our mouths fed off each other like we were starving and I forgot I was in my office, and that a hundred other people were on the other side of the door.

He dragged his mouth from mine and I whimpered in protest as he kissed the side of my jaw and then slid down the cord of my neck. His arms lifted me off of the ground and he brought my face on level with his. “Julia, you’re playing with fire. What’s gotten into you? Did you forget where we are?” He nuzzled my nose with his as he spoke, his breathing was shallow and his eyes were closed.

I let my hands slide out of his hair and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, resting my head on his shoulder. I nodded. “Yes.” I never wanted him to let me go. “You feel so good.”

“Keep it up and I’ll show you just how good I feel,” he growled into my neck, his lips leaving a hot trail of kisses as he moved up my jaw to my mouth.

I couldn’t help a soft smile as I breathed him in. “Promises, promises,” I teased.

“Don’t push me. You know I’ll do it,” he breathed as he licked and kissed at my lips in a series of little nibbling kisses.

“I know,” I laughed softly. “But Meredith knows you’re here and she wants to look at you.”

He pulled his head back and screwed up his features in disbelief. “Look at me?”

“Yep,” I said, popping the “p” as I nodded. “You know you’re beautiful, so stop with the coy bullshit.”

He smiled crookedly as he set my feet down on the floor, but kept me locked tightly in his embrace. He was so gorgeous that my breath caught in my throat. He was dressed casually in jeans, boots and a long sleeved white t-shirt. His face was unshaven and his hair a wild mess.

“I look like hell today. I just rolled out of bed and ran out of the apartment in search of my girl.”

He kissed me again and I sucked his lower lip into my mouth. My body was responding, the heat and wetness tangible evidence of the need he raised deep within me. His fingers were drawing circles on my lower back and he used the pressure to make sure I knew he was as aroused as I was.

“Mmmm…love you,” I whispered against his mouth.

“Want you…” he responded.

“Need you…” I smiled up at him and ran a finger down his cheek to his jaw as I moved out of his arms.

“Yeah. Ugh, let’s get out of here. I’m dying over here. I need a distraction and now.” He plopped down in one of the chairs in front of my desk and ran a hand through his hair in agitation. “What plans do you have for me?” he asked wickedly with a big smile.

“Well, sir, if you’ll remember, you weren’t supposed to be here today. You’re not exactly on my calendar,” I pointed out as I picked up the phone and dialed Meredith’s number but it went straight to voice mail.

“Hey, Mere, Ryan is here, but we’re leaving in ten minutes, so if you want to bask in his glory, you need to get down here. Pronto.”

Ryan burst out laughing at my words and the expression on my face as I said them. I wrinkled my nose. His hand went to his mouth as he looked at me and my heart melted. He was mine. But how would he feel after I told him about the new
opportunity
?

“Seriously, Julia? That shit is fucked up.”

“What? You mean you don’t have hoards of women just gazing at you in a daze wherever you go? Completely mesmerized?” My eyes widened in dramatic emphasis.

“Only one that I
want
to mesmerize. And, she has her stalkers, too.”

“Mmmm, you think? Not as many as you. Speaking of stalkers, what’s new with Liza?”

His brow dropped over his deep blue eyes. “Nothing new. She still tries to horn in on study groups and stuff, babe. You know I only have eyes and arms and lips and tongue and dick for you though, right?” He stopped when I gasped in shock, the corners of his mouth quirking in the start of a smile, but his tone was serious. “You’ve ruined me forever.”

My face flushed and my body responded to his sexy words. “I can’t believe you just said that,” I said quietly as someone knocked on the door.

“Yes, you can. You know it’s true,” his eyes were sparkling at me when the door opened and Meredith poked her head in.

“Are you decent? Is it safe to come in?” she said happily before swinging the door open wide and stepping inside.

Ryan got up and hugged her lightly. “Hello, Meredith. How are you?” he said politely.

“Great. You’re graduating soon, I hear. Then moving to New York, right?” I tensed at her words. The last thing I needed was having any conversations about the immediate future brought up before I’d had a chance to talk to Ryan about the Paris offer. I cocked my head at her, hoping she’d understand that I wanted her to change the subject.

“Yeah. It’s soon now.” He sat down on the edge of my desk facing Meredith as I moved around toward him. His hand reached for mine. “Not soon enough, though. I’m seriously done missing my girl. I can’t wait to be with her every day.”

Meredith shot a look between both of us. “I know she’s missed you too. I mean, just look around this office? There are pictures of you everywhere.”

“Oh, that’s just for you when you visit, Meredith,” I said sardonically.

“Yeah, right!” she mocked. “So…what are you two up to now?”

“Well, I surprised her by being here early, so after we go to lunch, I guess I’ll just hit one of the museums or go down and check out the neighborhood around St. Vincent’s. I’m starting my residency there in July,” Ryan answered. “What are you doing in New York, Meredith? Did you transfer from Los Angeles?”

“Um…” She started but then hesitated, looking at me. “I’m here to put together a team for a special project I’m working on.”

Ryan smiled and stroked my hand with his thumb, “Maybe Julia can help.”

If he only knew what he was saying and what the implications were. My heart sped up as anxiety set in. All I needed was for Meredith to tell him too much.

“Yes, I’m hoping so. She’s very valuable to us. I don’t think I’ve seen anyone with this much potential since
me
.”

“Yes, I’m very proud of her,” Ryan stated.

“You should be, and she of you. You kids are both going places, that’s for sure. Julia, why don’t you take the rest of the day off?” Her eyebrow quirked at me.

“Really?” Ryan asked hopefully, his face lighting up.

“Yeah, why not? It’s worth it to see that gorgeous look on your face. Get out of here, but make sure Andrea knows how to keep your ducks in line.”

I laughed at her use of words and the fact that she made it sound like I’d never asked for the afternoon off. “She’s been briefed and I’ll have my phone on so she can call anytime. Thanks.”

The minute she left Ryan looked at me knowingly. “You little brat. You left me thinking I had to suffer without you today and you’d already gotten the day off.”

“Yeah, whatever. You haven’t been suffering all that much at my hands, baby,” I teased. “Besides, you were asleep and I didn’t want to wake you up.” I grabbed my coat and he helped me put it on before we left the office.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and tried to smile as his hand laced through mine. He was so happy that I dreaded telling him about the job offer, since I already knew what his reaction would be. So, for today and probably tomorrow, I just wanted to be with him and enjoy our time together. The problem was; he knew me so well that I had trouble hiding anything from him. It would take real effort not to let him see that something was bothering me.

“Okay, so what do you really want to do today?” I asked with a forced smile.

“Um, feed you and then take you home and ravish you for hours on end. Anymore questions?”

“None, except um…
what
are you hungry for?”

He threw a glance down at me as I walked by his side, his eyebrows rising and a small smile playing on his perfect lips. “Stop, Julia. I mean it. Stop teasing me or I won’t be held accountable for my actions.”

“What?” I widened my eyes at him innocently and bit my lip to stop from smiling. “Lunch, right?”

“Uh huh,
right
.”

*****

Ryan and I had spent the afternoon in bed. I was feeling desperate and clingy, unable to get close enough or have enough of his lovemaking. I wanted him deeper into my body and to never stop touching me. He was tender and passionate and, as always, made me feel his love with every breath. I fought back the tears the whole time, wondering what in the hell I was thinking even considering this stupid job offer.

How in the hell was I going to tell him that I was going to Paris?

We decided to stay in since we were going out tomorrow night and I smoothed the red negligee over my curves. It was completely sheer and every detail of my body was visible, the bikini panties were just as revealing and only added slightly to the coverage. I called in an order for Pad Thai and I could hear Ryan paying the delivery driver at the door to the apartment.

I had serious plans for him tonight and although I loved making love with him, I also had an ulterior motive. We usually spent hours and hours talking, but I was fragile and I wouldn’t be able to keep from telling him about Paris if that happened. I wanted to make him happy, and show him how much I loved him. Truthfully, I couldn’t get enough of his hands and mouth on my body. I wanted to soak it all in and commit every second to memory to sustain me, and hopefully him, through the continued months of separation.

Tomorrow night I was surprising him with the concert, but tonight I would keep him busy with love. I curled my hair and piled it on top of my head so that soft tendrils fell down around my face, and used a little heavier makeup to make my eyes smokier and applied a dark pink gloss to my lips. I left the jewelry off except for the bracelet. It never came off. I loved seeing our entwined initials on my wrist and it meant the world to me. I spritzed perfume behind my ears, wrists and over my body before shutting off the light and lighting three candles in the bedroom.

I tiptoed down the hall toward the kitchen. Ryan’s back was to me and he was pulling the food out of the bag and then took plates out of the cupboard. I walked up behind him and stopped about ten feet away. I wanted him to turn around and see me.

“Hey, what are you cooking?” I said softly. He reached up and pulled two wine glasses out and set them on the counter, reaching into the drawer for a corkscrew with his other hand.

“Pfft. Do you want wine?” He glanced over his shoulder and stopped dead when he saw me, then turned and stared. His gaze roamed up and down my body slowly and he fell back against the edge of the counter. “Holy shit, Julia…you look…amazing.” He licked his lips as the hand with the corkscrew in it moved up to rest on his chest.

“Don’t hurt yourself with that thing,” I murmured softly as I moved toward him and took it from his hand and met his burning blue eyes. My free hand moved up to cup his chin. He was speechless and I loved it. “Cat got your tongue? It isn’t like you haven’t seen me undressed, Ryan,” I said as I walked around him to take the wine bottle and began to unwrap the covering on the cork. He watched in silence, not moving, except to turn in the direction I moved.

“I know…but it always takes my breath away. You’re beautiful, but the emotion always stuns me…knowing that no one else has ever touched you…that you’ve only ever been mine. I’ll never get used to how that makes me feel.”

My heart stopped. I set the wine down so that I could wind my arms around his waist and kiss the pulse point at the base of his neck. “I love you every bit as much as you think I do…probably more.”

His hands ghosted down my back and up again, sending shivers up and down my spine and goose bumps broke out on my arms and legs. “Suddenly, I’m not all that hungry…” he whispered softly as his lips opened on the curve of my shoulder. His mouth was hot and he knew how to melt me, dragging along the line to my neck and placing little sucking kisses intermittently.

“Uhhh…” I went limp in his arms, my hands unable to hold him like I wanted because of the corkscrew in my hand. “You need to eat. Baby, we’ve got all night and all day tomorrow…”