The Fourth Ceremony: The Sacrifice Trilogy (18 page)

              "Whoa, Khi, relax. I am fine. I couldn't stand to be in bed one more minute. And yes I am hurting, but minimally. Especially since Evan here helped me into the comfy new sling that I get to wear for the next three days." She threw a mimicked smile back at Evan.

            
 “
And I see my work here is done. Good day you two," Evan sauntered from the room in his infuriatingly graceful way.  

              "He is quite full of himself," Alessa observed as she watched the door shut behind him.

              "I don't disagree. He's your trainer," Khi shot back. "But seriously, shouldn't you be resting?"

              "I don't want to rest in bed. It's not really my style."

              "Alright, what if I took you out to the courtyard, would that satisfy you?"

              "Marginally, what if you took me out to the cliffs?"

              "Let's start in the courtyard and see what happens, wild one," Khi joked. He offered his arm to her on her good side and she took it as they strolled out of the room.

              Alessa took a deep breath of the fresh air around her. It had taken longer than she had ever taken to get to the small table in the middle of the courtyard. She had to stop and catch her breath on multiple occasions, but she was so happy to be surrounded by sunshine.

              "Are you ready to tell me how you're feeling about everything yet?" Khi prodded gently.

              "No, are you ready to tell me why you were so hard on Cam yet?" Alessa replied.

              "No," Khi smiled at her.

              "Well I suppose we are at an impasse."

              "I guess so," Khi pulled Alessa close to him, "I'm just so glad you are okay. You can't imagine what was going through my head while you were gone and when I saw you limping back through the gate. If you go out again without a guard I will not be responsible for my actions."

              "I'm sorry, I'm just so tired of needing a guard or having to be watched or making special arrangements to do anything normal. I'll never get to just be a teenage girl, will I?" Alessa allowed the disappointment to run thick in her words.

              "No, Less, you won't be, and I'm sorry for that. If I could change that, I would. There are some things we can work towards changing, but you will never been a normal teenage girl. No matter what."

              "What do you mean we can change some things?" Alessa questioned.

              "I don't know," Khi seemed flustered, "I mean we can change how people in the Manor treat you, some. And we can get you back in shape, wimp," he poked her arm gently as he teased.

              "Oh please, I could still take you down," Alessa retorted.

              "With the way Cam described it, I believe you could. I'm pretty proud of you, you know."

              "I didn't really have a choice. I thought they were going to kill me." Alessa refused to think about the rest of what they planned to do with her.

              "You're okay now, Less, and we are going to make sure you stay that way. You will always have a guard within earshot of you from now on."

              "Khi, no, that's not what I want. Really, please don't do that."

              "It's already done. If you aren't in your room you will have a guard. We will work twelve hour shifts and rotate taking a full day off."

              "This is completely unnecessary," Alessa complained.

              "Actually, I think it is absolutely necessary, and so do your parents and the Minister."

              "Well, there's your problem. Consider your source. They were all completely over protective last night
.
”

              "They love you, Less. We all do."

              "My parents love me, yes. But I don't know about 'we all do'. Alec can't wait for me to go so that he can be the next Head Guard, Cam runs so hot and cold I can hardly understand what is going on, and you, well, you are the reliable one. You I know I can trust."

              "Less, as much as I hate to say it, and trust me I truly hate to say it, you can trust Cam. He's all over the place, but his intentions are good," Khi said quietly.

              "What do you know of his intentions," Alessa demanded.

              "I know enough. Now are we going to the cliffs or what?" Khi stood and offered a hand to her. Alessa shook her head at his distraction tactic, but allowed it to work as she took his hand.

              They walked in silence, stopping often so that Alessa could catch her breath and stabilize herself on Khi's arm. As they made it to the end of the courtyard Alessa stopped.

              "I don't think I can make it," she said breathily.

              "I figured, but this was the quickest way to squelch your need to move around. Plus you'll sleep all night now. You're welcome."

              "You're incorrigible. Help me back inside."

              "As you wish, princess," Khi teased.

              "What are you going to do with yourself when I'm not around to mock and bully?" Alessa meant the remark as a joke, but she didn't miss the shadow that crossed Khi's face.

              "I don't know," was all that he replied.

              They returned to her room in uncomfortable silence, each deep in their own thoughts. As they entered her room, Alessa turned to Khi.

              "I didn't mean to be indelicate. Sometimes I don't know if I want to joke about it or pretend it won't ever happen. It doesn't seem like either tactic helps."

              "Something will help. You know that I care about you more than anyone in the world, right?" His tone was serious, not like his usual flippancy when he spoke of his feelings for her.

              "Yeah, Khi, I do." It was all she could say.

              "Something will help. I have to go. Get some rest, Less." And he was gone from her room.

              Alessa walked to her balcony and eased open the door with her good arm. The sun was setting over the district. Alessa was surprised to find that her short walk had taken the day away. She stifled a yawn as she pondered what Khi meant.

              Something will help
.

              She shook her head and started when the door swung open.

              "Doesn't anyone knock anymore?" Alessa allowed annoyance to pepper her tone.

              "I would have dropped your dinner if I tried to knock first, Alessa," Jayna's voice called out. Just as the woman entered the room, Alessa's stomach let out a loud growl.

              "Oh, how wonderful, I'm starving."

              "Yeah, well, take it easy. I know you haven't had much to eat in the last two days and I'm none too keen on cleaning up after you getting sick."

              "All you do is worry, Jay," Alessa smiled at the woman.

              "That's what they pay me for, ma'am."

              Alessa smiled as she sat down to eat. A moment of frustration tangled her up as she tried to eat with her left hand. Jayna laughed heartily at Alessa's struggle and sat down to watch.

              "I should make you feed me," Alessa threatened.

              "Now that is not what they pay me for," Jayna's laughter redoubled and Alessa couldn't help but join in with her.

              "I suppose this will force me to eat slowly," Alessa joked.

              Alessa managed her way through the rest of her meal and allowed Jayna to help her change into something to sleep in. Alessa climbed into bed just as darkness enveloped the horizon. She knew it was still quite early, but she felt tired to her core. As she dozed off, she did have the single wonder why Camden didn't come back to check on her the whole day.

Chapter 7-

              Three days later, true to his word, Evan helped Alessa remove the sling from her arm and began working on her strength. 

              "Now we still need to take it easy, and I will warn you that it is going to be quite painful to work out, but we should be able to start going a little harder now," Evan said pointedly two weeks after they began working out again.

              Alessa looked at herself in the mirrors on the wall of the training room. She had spent much of the last two weeks in bed or in the courtyard unable to go much farther and unwilling to push herself. After one attempt at a workout in the first days, Evan had declared that she needed some time off and refused to work her until the sling could come off of her arm. She smiled as she thought about the time that she and Camden had spent talking, joking, and simply being together in those three days.

              "Ahem," Evan cleared his throat, "everything meet your inspection or would you like to cancel your workout so that you can go primp in your room?"

              "I was not primping," Alessa blurted angrily, embarrassed by her inattention, "my mind just wandered off. Let's get started."

              Evan spent the next thirty minutes working with her on strength. They did no cardio and Alessa couldn't say that she was disappointed. She had little stamina left and her head ached wildly. Alessa knew that she could not complain about her injuries. If she did that Evan would only call off their workout.

              "That's enough for today," Evan's voice interrupted her thoughts after she had finished only three of their circuit workouts.

              "What do you mean? It's only been a half hour." Alessa was annoyed that even Evan seemed to be treating her with kid gloves.

              "Alessa, come sit down," Evan motioned for her to sit next to him on an exercise step, "Alessa, you are strong but you are also stubborn to the point that it may one day place you in danger. Your determination is important, it may well save your life one day, but keep in mind that you need to let others help you sometimes as well."

              "Evan, what are you talking about?" Alessa was puzzled.

              "Just let people help you Alessa, and know that you don't know everything." Just as he slid in the insult, he stood and walked silently out of the room without a look back.

              Alessa sat on the step wondering about what he had said to her. Evan was an odd one, that much was certain, but he was wise and never said anything he didn't mean. His riddle was a bother to Alessa as was the nagging pain in her shoulder and head. She dropped her head on her knees and stared into her reflection in the wall mirrors. She was startled and jerked her head up when she heard the training room door open. The sudden motion caused her to close her eyes against the pain in her head.

              "Alessa, are you alright?" Camden came striding towards her.

              "Ugh, stop asking me that!" Alessa stood in frustration and balled her hands into fists.

              "A little grumpy today?" Camden's face showed a ghost of the cocky half smile Alessa knew from him so well.

              "Exceedingly," was her snipped reply.

              "Alright, let's go," Camden said as he stood and offered her his hand.

              "Go where? I just finished training and I'm tired, Cam. Where are you trying to take me?"

              "Stop the pity party and let's go. You'll thank me later." Camden pulled his hand away and began to walk towards the door.

              "You sure are being pushy," Alessa said as she got up to follow.

              "Only when I know it will be worth it," Camden grinned widely at her.

              They had enjoyed countless moments together in the past few days. Even on Camden's day off, he had relieved Alec of his duties and spent time with her. The only time she hadn't seen him had been during Khi's shifts. Alessa decided against wondering about that complication. She noticed that Camden was headed towards the courtyard. Alessa thought it'd be nice to be outside in the hot summer day. The brilliant bright sun was always her favorite. Once they made it to a bench towards the middle of the courtyard, Alessa flopped herself down to catch her breath.

              "We aren't done yet," Camden said as he poked her lightly.

              "Where are you wanting to go, Cam? You know I'm not quite back to full speed yet."

              "Yes, that I do know, and we need to work on that. You pick, Alessa, getting back to speed is going to hurt. Push or don't push?" Camden's tone was serious. Alessa perked up at the challenge in his question. She knew that she was going to have to push herself eventually. She needed to stop being so childish about it. Alessa stood and walked past Camden.

              "Where to?" She said with a smile.

              "That's my girl," Alessa was rewarded with a winning smile, "to the cliffs!"

              Alessa and Camden walked in companionable silence to the cliffs. She stopped often to catch her breath and her head was pounding the rhythm of her heartbeat in her ears, but she didn't sit and she kept pressing herself forward. She knew that Camden was right, that she was going to have to work through the weakness to make it back to who she knew she could be. The sun beat down on them as they finally approached the cliff face and Alessa realized that she was quite hungry.

              "Please tell me there is food in that bag of yours," Alessa reached for the bag Camden carried over his shoulder and he pulled it away from her grasp.

              "I most certainly did bring
myself
a lunch," his enunciation of the word 'myself' made Alessa realize his game.

              "So you're going to drag me up here
and
refuse to feed me?" Alessa mocked horror.

              Camden laughed easily and sat himself down on a large rock overlooking the ocean past the cliff. He pulled two sandwiches out of the bag and offered one to Alessa. 

              "That's more like it," she said with a smile as she took the sandwich. As she ate, she realized that she felt better than she had since the attack. Even with the headache, it felt good to push herself.

              "This is nice, Cam, thanks for making me come out here."

              "How's your head?" Camden ran a hand over her arm as he questioned her and Alessa reveled in the feel of him touching her.

              "Honestly?" Camden nodded at her, "It hurts, but it's better now than it was right after training."

              "Well I'm glad it's getting better. I had hoped that your headaches would have gone away by now. It's a little strange for a mild concussion to last this long."

              "It's fine, really, better every day." Alessa certainly didn't want Camden deciding she was working out too much or anything similar.

              "Alright, alright. I didn't bring you here to bicker," Camden backed off quickly.

              "What exactly did you bring me here for, Cam?" Alessa quirked an eyebrow at him.

              "Well for one thing..." Camden trailed off as he moved to sit right next to Alessa and wound his arms around her waist. He pulled her towards him and kissed her lips lightly. The kiss was short, but he lingered there in front of her looking into her eyes. Alessa moved forward, wrapped her arms around his neck, and kissed him back harder than before. Camden's arms tightened around her as he responded to her eagerly.

              Alessa wasn't sure how long they spent kissing, but eventually Camden pulled her back to lay against him on the rock looking up at the sky. Without speaking, they lay in each other's arms watching the white, puffy clouds dance across the sky.

              Moments later, Camden sat up and turned to look down at Alessa.

              "Why don't you swim anymore?" The question caught Alessa off guard.

              "Wait, what?" Alessa asked, confused.

              "That's one thing I was told about you. Everyone said that you swam all the time, but I haven't heard of you swimming once since the day I started, why?"

              "I don't know, I just lost interest I guess," Alessa wasn't sure that she wanted to tell him that it terrified her. It didn't matter, though, he saw through her response.

              "What happened to us being real with each other?" Camden asked softly while looking at her intently.

              Alessa pushed herself up so that she was sitting beside Camden and looking out over the Sacred Ocean. She thought about what to say for what felt like an eternity. Ultimately, she knew that she could talk to Camden about her feelings. With trying to spare Khi from any sadness she realized that she had started turning to Camden to share her feelings with recently.

              "Cam, I don't swim because I'm not sure that I can anymore."

              "I don't understand."

              "The last time I tried to swim, the day you came to be my guard, I had some sort of panic attack. I thought I would drown there in the pool. I barely made it to the other side. Ever since then, any thought I've had about swimming has just brought me back to that moment."

              "But you love to swim," Camden said, obviously trying to draw out more of an explanation.

              "Cam, they plan to use the Ocean to kill me. I can't enjoy the very thing that is going to be my grave. I understand my purpose. I know what I have to do and I've accepted it, but I can't bring myself to think about it every day or put myself in a position to confront it head on."

              "I just hate to see this Sacrifice thing take away something that you really love. Don't you think it's taking enough from you without that?" His question hung in the air around them. Camden watched her, but Alessa couldn't tear her eyes away from the sea.

              "It's taking everything, Cam, I can't stop that. I can't stop it. I can't do anything. I just try to keep putting one foot in front of the other and hope that I don't fall apart." Alessa's words were vehement. She felt like Camden was chastising her for being afraid.              

              "Hey, hey look at me," Camden placed a gentle hand against Alessa's cheek and turned her face to his, "I wasn't trying to push. I'm sorry. I just want you to do everything you want to now. I want to help you find a way to live with everything you've got. At least, for now."