The Fire of Life (20 page)

Rayanne's bright red cheeks were answer enough. Samantha sighed. Not that I blame you, though. He's really the . . . well, how can words describe it? Just one of those things, isn't it. But you haven't a hope. You do know that? Cary just isn't the marrying kind. Or perhaps I'd say, shouldn't marry. All they think about is their work.'

But if I could help him, Rayanne was thinking, if we could make a team. She had to smile. What

a crazy thought ! As if Cary would ever accept a woman to work with him. What was it he had called them? A nuisance, a headache, and even a pain in the neck.

It was three days later that Rayanne went to the lab to get some information for her thesis. She had begun to write, much on the same lines that she had spoken to the students, but there were a few facts to be checked. As she walked into the lab Christine looked up, her face bright with anger. She was reading a newspaper and came to meet Rayanne, thrusting the paper into her face.

' I wonder you have the nerve to come in here! What's the idea? You had no right to tell the Press such a lie. Cary will be furious . .

I don't know what you're talking about.' Rayanne, wishing she had never come to the lab, looked round a little wildly at the modern equipment. Cary was certainly not mean about such things

It's a lie. An absolute outrageous lie!' Christine fumed on.

Look, let me read it,' said Rayanne. She leant against one of the tables and read the printed news :

Cary Jefferson, one of the well-known leaders of wild life conservation, hopes that the young biologist, Miss Rayanne Briscoe, whose lecture at the Jefferson Reserve was welcomed and admired by everyone, may work for him in future as he finds it difficult to fit in the lectures required by the courses with his necessary travels round the world. This is most unusual in many ways, for until now Mr Jefferson has rather shied away from women

biologists, for no admitted reason. Miss Briscoe must have made an impression on him; one that she proved by her first lecture which was so successful.'

But it's not true!' Rayanne gasped, lowering the paper.

Christine looked triumphant. Exactly. I told

you so. But why did you tell such a lie? Cary will be furious.'

But I knew nothing about it. The Press must be making it up. Unless Cary did . .

Christine laughed, an ugly contemptuous sound. ' Oh, yes! Then if so, what did you do to Cary? Twist his arm, or burst into tears and beg for the job?'

Rayanne clenched her hand that was holding the paper. Neither, and you know it. I'll let you have the paper back, but I must show it to Mrs Jefferson.'

She'll be delighted. This is what she's been fighting for all the time. A sweet biddable little English girl to marry her wonderful son! ' Christine laughed bitterly. How long will you last before he's bored to tears with you? Why, you're nothing but a . .

Rayanne turned and walked out of the lab. She was shaking a little. Who could have told such a lie? How would Cary react? Would he believe that she had nothing to do with it?

Mrs Jefferson looked anxious when Rayanne joined her on the stoep. Now what's happened, Rayanne? You look so upset.'

Read this,' Rayanne said curtly, then blushed.

I'm sorry—would you please read this, Mrs Jefferson? I can't understand it.'

Mrs Jefferson's glasses were hanging round her neck on a thin silver chain. Finally she got them on and slowly read the newspaper. Rayanne stood while she waited, staring blindly out of the window.

I didn't tell the Press . . . it's just a lie,' said Rayanne, and heard the rustle as Mrs Jefferson put down the paper.

But it's quite true, dear girl,' Mrs Jefferson said gently.

Rayanne swung round, her face startled. I

don't understand.'

Actually I don't think it should be in the papers yet. Cary could have asked you when he returned. He wanted you to give the lecture first as he said you had no confidence in yourself and it had to be proved—to yourself—that you could do the job. Of course you'll take it, dear. I'm so happy about it and it will be a great help for Cary. He's always getting tangled up with appointments overseas and his lectures. Now he'll be able to relax.'

Walking slowly to an armchair, Rayanne lowered herself into it. You mean, he really is going to offer me the job?'

Mrs Jefferson nodded. Yes. Of course you'll

take it and it will be lovely to have you about all the year round. I shan't have to travel so much, because I won't be lonely any more.'

Rayanne tucked her feet under her. ' I can't .. . I mean . . . Well, it just doesn't make sense.'

Why not, dear girl? You're clever, Cary says. Articulate, according to Burt West. You're

interested in the work. I think you've been happy here. Or do you find it too lonely?' Mrs Jefferson's voice was wistful.

' I've been very happy here, but . . . I don't know . . Rayanne brushed back her hair. I just can't believe it!'

Mrs Jefferson laughed softly. Neither can I, my dear. You'll be like the daughter I've always wanted.'

Rayanne had been thinking fast. ' But Cary hadn't heard me lecture. How can he know I'd be all right?'

He never doubted it for one moment. He said you had an ideal voice and showed emotion when you talked. He can't stand speakers who stand stiffly and talk like robots. Is that the right way to pronounce it, dear girl? I always get so muddled with these new words. Now, I must go and see Jacob. He will plant the flowers just where I don't want them . . .' She stood up with some difficulty, leaning on the chair's arms and smiled at Rayanne. I'm so happy, dear girl, so very happy,' she said softly, and left the room.

Alone, Rayanne couldn't sit still. She got up and began to pace up and down. She would have gone outside, but the heat was at its height and she needed to feel cool in order to think.

Was it all a hoax? A funny kind of joke? she asked herself. Yet how could Mrs Jefferson know about it unless it was the truth? Would Cary tell his mother if he didn't mean it?

The door opened and Burt stood there.

Well?' he asked, his voice strange. So you

know.'

' I know?' Rayanne looked at the newspaper she was still clutching. Oh, yes, I see, you've read it.'

Seeing that I gave the information, I didn't need to read it,' Burt told her. He walked slowly towards her.

You told them?' Rayanne caught her breath. Then it's all a joke? A funny kind of joke,' she added bitterly. A lie. Christine accused me of lying about it.'

It isn't a lie,' Burt said, his voice lifeless. Cary

asked me to tell the Press.'

But . . . but . . Rayanne stared at him. ' I

just don't understand.'

A thin smile moved Burt's lips. Apparently—according to Cary—you don't exactly hit it off. He said you were always either aggressive or on the defensive. You seemed to see him as an enemy and you were on guard. Some tripe about women's equality. Is that right?'

Rayanne could feel the colour burning in her cheeks. In a way, yes.'

Well, Cary said that if he offered you the job, you'd jump down his throat, accuse him of patronage or cruelly teasing you, and probably refuse the job without even considering it. He said he failed to get through to the real you, that you wouldn't let him. He even thinks you hate him . . . simply because he's a man.'

I . . . hate him?'

Burt nodded. Absurd, isn't it? Well, Cary

wanted you to know he was going to offer you this

job for a few days before he came back. So I told

the Press you were going to be offered it. You'll notice that I didn't say you would take the job.' He paused. But of course you will.'

Rayanne put out her hand vaguely and was absurdly glad to feel the back of an armchair. She felt dazed, unable to think properly.

' I see no of course about it,' she managed to say at last.

Then Burt moved—fast, surprising her, taking her in his arms, kissing her, his mouth hard against hers.

She struggled for a moment and then lay still in his arms, passive but not returning the kiss. He let her go abruptly and just caught her from falling. He gave her a strange look.

Don't say you're sorry. I know it's not your fault.' He gave a funny little laugh. I was a fool not to have seen it from the beginning. You'll take the job all right.' He turned and left her standing there, silently staring at the closed door.

Somehow she got to her room, took a straw hat because of the sun and went out into the garden. She walked right down to the water's edge and found a stone on which to sit.

A huge crocodile lay there, sleeping peacefully, but then, almost as if he had sensed her presence, he began to move. Slowly but with a frightening strength of purpose as he made his way into the water. Rayanne shivered, but still stayed where she was. It was very hot, the perspiration sliding down her face, her thin yellow dress clinging damply to her back. She had to think—she had to think !

It was a dream come true. Working with Cary.

Seeing him every day—or nearly every day, for he was obviously away a lot. Living in this lovely quiet place, having work she enjoyed. Maybe she could even write a book about it. She had always dreamed of one day being a writer . . . There was so much to tempt her.

But . . . and it was a very big but, wasn't she asking for heartache if she stayed? Suppose Cary met a girl he could respect and love, and brought her back as his bride?

If she stayed, Rayanne told herself, every day would increase the danger of heartache. Even if he didn't marry, the mere fact that he didn't see her would hurt her. Each day, she knew, she would love him more; and each day would make the final ending more painful.

On the other hand, had she the strength and courage to break away? To return to England, to get some miserable unrewarding job, and let the family tease and laugh at her again?

What a difficult question it was! She wanted to stay; with all her heart she wanted to stay. But if she did stay, what would it do to her heart? Break it?

Somehow Rayanne wasn't surprised, when she joined Mrs Jefferson for tea, to learn that Burt had gone.

He asked me to apologise for not saying goodbye to you, dear girl,' Mrs Jefferson said as she lifted the Queen Anne silver teapot and carefully poured out the tea. He says he thought it was better this way. I imagine you understand.'

Yes, I understand,' Rayanne said, her voice sad. Poor dear Burt, suffering as much as she was. If only she could have loved him! He was such a dear, so kind .. .

As the days passed, what was most embarrassing was the fact that Mrs Jefferson took it for granted that Rayanne would accept the job. So did the others. Samantha was thrilled, but she also said she felt Rayanne had made a mistake.

' This is dangerous driving,' she said, her eyes narrowed worriedly. ' You do know that? If you don't watch out . . . I mean, let's face it, he's married to his work.'

' I know,' Rayanne answered. ' I'm still not sure I'll take the job.'

Samantha laughed. You will,' she prophesized.

Alone one night Rayanne tried to come to a decision. She got out a piece of paper and put FOR and AGAINST at the top of the page. Then she carefully thought out and typed neatly.

She read the result, and then burst into tears. The list read:

FOR
AGAINST

I love him
He can only break my heart

I love his mother as he doesn't even see me.

I love the country I hate his sarcasm and stuffi—

I love the work ness.

Would he ever treat me as an equal?

The antagonism of Christine and Daphne.

There was no answer. No answer at all. She felt tempted to pack her clothes and get away, right away, six thousand miles away where perhaps she could get a job that so enthralled her that there'd be no time to think of Cary . . . Wasn't that the most sensible thing to do? Wouldn't that be less painful in the long run? Yet how could she run away and leave Mrs Jefferson alone? And the job? How could she turn down the job?

Three days later, a letter came from England. Surprised, because her family, including herself, were all very bad letter writers, she saw it was from her mother. The contents startled her even more.

My dear Rayanne,

Your father and I are delighted at the news that you have at last found what you have been looking for all this time. You can imagine how thrilled dear Uncle Joe is. He also talks of coming out to see you and to meet his old love, Mrs Jefferson,

whom he can remember very well. I enclose the newspaper cuttings as obviously this is your first step on a career that could make your name known all over the world, so you may want to keep them. You can't think how proud we are of you, Rayanne. I always knew that one day you would prove yourself. Your brothers all send their love and say ' Bully for you ' . Not a very gracious remark, but you know it means a lot for them to say that.