Authors: Mercedes Keyes,Lawrence James
gently, lowering her eyes, praying that he intended to
keep her, he seemed gentle; he also liked to talk,
even to her.
That was new, unfamiliar - her original white
master had never spoken to her and her mother
other than to tel them what to do. She was the last of
her mother's daughters, there had been six in al -
sent off to masters of their own, or sold away to
someone who dealt in fancies. Bred especial y to
accompany her new owner and warm his bed, taking
her to do whatever he saw fit.
Her original purchase had been so she could
be auctioned off for a higher price - she had been
the best - saved for last from the other eight she'd
been col ected with. Now it would seem, she might
not be auctioned, if this man chose to keep her. "I - I
would stay – wit’ – wit’ you masta', not be send
away. I'm strong, won't be no burden - promise I
won't masta'." Again her voice was soft, timid.
"I am not your master - this state is a free one,
you are forced to remain with no one. I especial y
see no reason to own you - perhaps I wil find a
better place for you."
She glanced up, panic in her eyes, "Please -
ain' no better place - I beg you - put me to any task, I
see it through - but don't send me off." She pleaded,
she'd heard him, the things he had said to the
fancy
breeder, to the slave keeper. She remembered the
shock of being lifted in his arms, how he’d cradled
her close as if he cared for her being. It didn’t seem
to her reasoning, that someone capable of beating
you, harming you, would care for you the way he did,
rebuking others for the way he’d found her. He was
different. It was stuck in her mind how he spoke to
her every step of the way, bringing her to his home.
No grumbles, no threats, no lecherous behavior or
leering, no cruelty – nothing of the sort. There was
something about him, different from the others.
Besides, he was not old; he was in fact pleasing to
the eyes, his looks not so offensive she would have
to force herself to perform whatever acts he would
come to demand.
She knew that her placement could be far
worse, and she also knew what it meant to be who
and what she was; she knew that she could end up in
the hands of someone who had not a care for
whatever suffering or pain he might inflict upon her.
This man had cared, carried, bathed her, and talked
to her as if she were a flesh and blood human with
feelings – he showed concern, as if it mattered how
he treated her, how she was treated, how she felt.
Thus began her silent prayer, that she be
granted the privilege of remaining in his possession.
Quinton backed away from her and stood his
height of 6ft. Leaving her for a moment, he returned
with a plate of bread, "Eat as I've said, here - bread,
fil your bel y. Once I've cleaned we can-..."
"No masta please - I'ah clean - not you!" She
cried as if in a panic, standing, she had tears in her
eyes, "Res', I'ah see to it." She was swaying, and
fighting to stay on her feet – she hadn’t eaten in
days.
"Don't panic - my God, what have you gone
through? What is it that you fear?" He couldn't help it,
he found his hand once more there with his fingers
caressing her skin, her looks commanded an
audience, even if an audience of one, himself, "... I
can only imagine." He went on, "... I ask you, do not -
whatever things have transpired to bring you here,
do not fear me. I would do you no harm - no never.
Do as I say - you are barely standing, let alone with
strength enough to clean the mess I've made."
"For me though masta', that mess mine." She
tried again.
He pushed her back to the stool, "You are not
my slave - sit - eat."
"I got - to be somebody slave - rather be
yours." She murmured softly, with her head
swimming and ears buzzing, with white lights
flashing before her eyes, she quieted. He was
saying nothing more, simply gazing at her silently,
until final y, he turned from her and left the room.
With no other choice, she did as she was told;
however, it was not easy getting the food down, she
felt queasy, her head felt heavy with fever and
pressure - what she wanted most, was to lie on the
floor before the fire and sleep – but if she was going
to be any good to him, she had to get stronger,
better – thus, she was able to finish al the food.
By this time Quinton had emptied the bath,
refil ed it, stripped, washed, rinsed himself off and
dried. He donned a nightshirt for her sake, not his
own - he preferred sleeping bare fol owing a bath;
this could not be - with a woman about. When al was
done, he returned to the room - total y exhausted -
realizing she had disappeared.
"Where now have you gone to, my little rat-
slayer? You have a knack for tucking away." He
spoke out loud looking about the room, and then,
seeing a flash of white, the sheet he gave her to
cover herself - there it was, on the floor, hidden
behind his chair among his books. Stepping closer
to it, he realized she was stil within it, bal ed up on
the floor; sound asleep as if a weary dog by the fire.
He couldn't believe his eyes. With a sigh, he
muttered, "You'l be the death of me - you wil ."
He worked to move books aside, his chair and
other things that stood in the way of getting a good
hold of her. Once more, he hefted her high. She was
shivering again, teeth chattering, feverish. "Wench, if
you are my gift - you must break this fever, I would
have my gift at ful health - I haven't a plot within which
to bury you just yet. Come, I've no choice but to keep
my eye on you, and I can't very wel do so with you
here, bal ed up on the floor." He continued on,
thinking out loud. He made his way to the stairs and
slowly up them, his slow pace showed how close he
was to col apsing himself. His sigh was due to
gladness at seeing his bedroom, where there too
he'd lit a fire for the night. Carrying her to the bed, he
pul ed his covers back and laid her there.
Moments later, he lay beside her - she'd curled
into a bal once more, her back to him, her body tight
and tucked into the fetal position - close to him,
oblivious to her surroundings.
As exhausted as he was, he stil could not drop
off to sleep and so, carried out his normal routine
before the night took him, he turned the lantern up
beside his bed, donned his spectacles, and began
reading - however he could not concentrate - his
eyes kept wondering over to the young woman who
lay beside him, in
his
bed. As if in a trance, his eyes
remained fixed upon her while his mind went over
the events of his evening.
He'd acquired a slave - a fancy.
Although sick, he could not deny that she was
lovely to behold. He was a bachelor - with no interest
in having a wife, but she - was different - she - could
possibly be his servant. He did need some
assistance even though having travel ed in great
adventures; he was accustomed to taking care of
himself. He'd started out with a companion, a man
servant who'd been kil ed unfortunately by a bul .
They'd wondered into a field not seeing the animal
until it was too late - due to the age of his servant,
he'd been unable to outrun the animal - and Quinton
had been unable to distract the animal from its
course. It had taken days to find the owner to retrieve
his dead manservant, his body broken, twisted and
fly blown. Once he'd been buried, Quinton had
travel ed alone. His travels were about gaining
knowledge of medicines and various ways in which
cultures treated the human body to heal it of injury,
il ness or disease.
Suddenly he stood from the bed, taking his
lantern with him to his writing desk within the room,
there he found his journal and ink wel . Taking his
seat, he opened the book picked up his feathered
quil and began an entry into it
1830, in the year of our Lord, it is October -
second Saturday of that month, to my surprise, I've
acquired a most astonishing possession. Tucked
away in the bowels of a ship - a mere slip of a girl I
am certain has not seen many years at the most I
would deduce, perhaps 17. This gift, was mine to
take - for I'd aided in healing the mother of Henry J.
Bancmen and as a show of his gratitude - thus his
offer of, the fancy.
She was found to be in a terrible state of
uncleanliness and health - and yet - there was
enough strength and self-preservation that we'd
found the wench in a battle with rats - I daresay,
proudly, she was the conqueror. Hours later, I must
admit, this still brings a smile to my face.
I have many thoughts plaguing my mind.
I do not approve of slavery.
Coming from England, having dealings with
the Moors and their great contributions to our
nation - I have firsthand knowledge that these are a
people of great successes and intelligence; they
are
planners,
problem
solvers,
scientists,
physicians - with a scholarly aptitude often
challenging those of my ilk to compete with. Yes -
this is certain.
Thus, I find slavery of these nobles - an
abomination!
Yet - the girl - for now - is mine.
I have contemplated finding a place for her,
where she is to be free - as to this land where I dwell
- they are free.
Subsequently there is the matter of her being
a young woman. African and I detect perhaps a mix
of Native Indian decent, without guardianship of a
father, direction or protection of a mother, what
might befall her should I turn her over – and to
whom shall I do so? Where might she find herself?
She is one that I must admit, is very pleasing to the
eyes – that in itself could mean trouble for one
such as she - now fearful of what might be.
These thoughts are ever on my mind since
taking ownership - dreadful word - but that is as it is.
For now, she is mine - and her fate rests with me.
The truth in this matter is that I am now responsible
for her wellbeing. To be put in such a predicament,
I am challenged, my conscience is challenged - in
truth - I find there are more reasons to keep her,
than there are - to - free her. There it is.
Once more, it cannot be missed, she has
feared. Great fear - and I stand clear as to the
reasons why, yes - I have seen - yes - I have heard
and yes - I have knowledge of deeds that even now
I cannot bring my mind to conjure this hour before I
make an attempt at rest. It is due to her cause of
fear, that I have cause to keep her - here - with me –
where she will be safe. Is that, however, my only
motivation for doing so? Am I being charitable?
Dare I play the knight, saving her and her honor?
Or am I no better than those I accuse of deeds in
which they must explain to the Maker upon the
meeting?
Our Creator?
My Lord, it has not escaped my notice that
you have constructed her well. Already my tired
soul - I must confess to you, felt a stirring at the feel
of her skin. It is certainly always a wonder to me how
you made us all in such great variety. Silken
sable? Such a luxurious brown - I find it insulting to
your genius to use the descriptive, brown - it does
not somehow fully describe how beautiful I find
such skin – proof that all that you do, is done to
perfection. Should I tread carefully less I sin with
the things that went through my mind? Yet, what I