The Fall and Rise of Kade Hart: A Hart Brothers Novel (28 page)

“Oh, great. I can walk then?”

“Yeah, but I wish you would get a car.”

“Kade, I’ll save up money for one.”

“I can get you…”

“No you cannot. That is completely
unacceptable. Do I make myself clear?”

He gives me a look of sheer frustration, but
nods.

I decide to soften my words. “Kade, it’s
terribly sweet that you would even consider that, but buying a car
is something that I want to do on my own. It’s like a rite of
passage or something, you know?”

He smiles and says, “Yeah, I do. No car for
you.”

“Have I ever told you how wonderful and kind
you are?”

“Maybe,” he says, smiling.

“Good, and I’m telling you again. Thank you
for everything you do and continue to do for me. I’d be lost
without you, Kade.”

“The same can be said for me, Juliette. You
lift me higher than I thought possible. You understand me … get
what I am, who I am. And care about me nevertheless. Can I tell you
something about me? Something not many people know. Only my
brothers, my counselors and shrink from rehab and Mack know about
this.”

“Of course you can. You can tell me
anything, Kade.”

“Can we go back to bed first?”

I smile and we grab the dog and walk
upstairs. We settle into bed and he begins.

“Most people know my father was a monster.
But what they don’t know is some of the things he did to me during
my days of addiction.”

He tells me all about Langston, his bullies,
and the things he did. The incidents with shooting him up, the
constant beatings, they way he threw Kade out of the car where the
homeless live, sending Kade back to school beaten to a bloody mess.
But when he gets to the story about how he held the gun to Kade’s
head, I all but scream. I freak out and clamp my hand over my mouth
to prevent myself from letting it out.

Kade pulls me onto his lap and says, “Out of
everything that has hurt me in this life, seeing you like this
breaks me more. I don’t ever want to see you hurting again. Don’t
do this. I’m not worth it, Juliette.”

“Yes you are! And you were just a
defenseless boy. He was an evil man to do all that shit to
you.”

“Yes, he was. But we won’t let Langston win.
I swear this to you.”

My hands grasp his face and I kiss him,
hard. If there were a way to cocoon him in my arms so that he could
forever be protected from anything harsh again, I would do my best
to find a way. This man, this beautiful loving man, has been
through so much in his life that he shouldn’t have to go through
anything else.

“What are you thinking?” he asks.

I decide to be honest. “That I want to
shield you from pain for the rest of your life.”

He looks away, and then back at me. He
appears uncomfortable. Was it what I said? Was it too much? I don’t
know.

“Juliette, don’t say anything. Let me speak.
I have this thing about honesty. You already know that. So this is
me being honest with you.”

Oh my. Is he going to tell me he doesn’t
want me anymore?

“Ever since we met, we’ve had this thing.
Call it what you want, but you remember how I told you that I felt
like we just clicked? It’s been there from the start. Every time
we’re together it gets better. Stronger. To the point that I
questioned my self-worth. Am I strong enough for this? For you?
Because I want to be—more than anything I want to be strong,
someone you can be proud to stand next to. But because of what my
father would say to me, he had me damn convinced I was a big zero.
You’ve already met that part of me. That part that I want to wipe
away, like the writing on one of those dry erase boards. So here
goes. I’ve never told this to anyone before. I believe you and I
can make things work. You’re a computer scientist. I’ll put this in
your terms. You’ve reprogrammed me, Juliette.”

I give him a quirky smile. “You mean I’ve
rewritten your HTML code?”

He grins back and says “If that’s what you
call it in computer speak, then yeah.” But then he’s serious again.
“But, sweetheart, you’ve done much more than that. You’ve turned me
inside out. Whether I’m able to battle the storm ahead, who the
fuck knows? But you make me want to try. I’m willing to do anything
if you’re involved. For one reason only. I am in love with you. And
the last day, not the last three, but the last day, has taught me
that when someone you love accepts every single part of you, even
the dirty, stained, used, and ugly parts, that person is worth
hanging on to with everything you’ve got. You’ve made me bring out
all those ugly parts, Juliette, and scour off, scrape away the
filth. You make me want to get rid of the dirty that was the drug
infested Kade. You make me want to rise above all that and defeat
everything that Langston pounded into me. You make me want to
purify my soul so it can some day match yours.”

“Oh, Kade. Feel this.” I put his hand over
my jackhammering heart. “Don’t you know your soul is already
pure?”

“No, not anything like yours.”

“Kade, I’m in love with you, too. When you
didn’t show up here, I thought I’d die. Seriously. But, you save me
every day, too. Just by being here. By being you. By your touch. By
the way you cherish me when you hold me.”

His eyes darken as he watches me. “Juliette,
I don’t know how to properly cherish someone. I was never
shown.”

“You’re doing a damn fine job of it.” My
hand tunnels into his hair and I kiss him. “Kade, don’t try. Just
be. I love you the way you are. You know? That’s the man I fell
for.”

“Such beauty exists in the most amazing
places. Your heart for instance. No one would ever think of a heart
as being beautiful, but I know different.”

“So do I. This Hart right here is gorgeous.
Kade Hart.”

“Very funny.”

“I’m not trying to be. At all. I need to
tell you something else. You gave me a big fright. A minute ago
when you first started talking, I thought you were going to tell me
that I was running you off … that I scared you. I never imagined
this.”

“Never. Take your clothes off, sweetheart.
I’ve missed you and I’m not sure how much longer I can stand not
feeling your skin or hearing your voice when I touch you.”

“I’m not wearing much. Only a T-shirt.”

His lids drop to half-staff and he murmurs.
“That’s way too much for what I have in mind.”

“Hmm. Okay.” I rip off the T-shirt and he
flips me on my back.

His tongue takes and gives, and I beg and
plead. It’s been too long since I had Kade. I don’t want
preliminaries. I want him. I don’t want the teasing and toying. I
want him.

Grabbing his face, I pull his mouth to mine
and say, “I want you. Now. I need you Kade. Not slow. Not a little
bit. I’m starved for you. Give me what I need.”

He reaches in his nightstand and grabs a
condom. My greedy eyes absorb him while he puts it on. He wedges
his long body between my legs and our eyes lock. I grab his cock
and put his tip at my entrance. He pushes himself inside a little,
stretching me over him.

“Juliette,” he moans into my mouth.

“Kade, give it all to me.” I wrap my legs
around him and grab his ass and shove.

“Ahh.” He pushes in and out, rocking against
me. I find and match his rhythm and it’s deep and hard. He grabs my
hand and weaves our fingers together, never stopping his tempo. His
lips find and lick my neck.

“Juliette, I’ve missed this. You.”

Speech is not possible. He rams his length
into me, and it’s heaven as he touches a place that is setting off
my world. I coax him on, heels digging into his ass, and that’s
when he lifts his head and pins me with his gaze. It almost topples
me off my edge. “Damn, Juliette, you’re beyond anything I’ve ever
known.”

His face glistens with perspiration and he
flexes his hips against me as I meet him move for move.

“Give me your mouth. I want your mouth when
I come.”

“Oh, God, Kade.”

He captures my mouth and invades it with his
tongue. I tangle mine with his as our bodies are joined everywhere.
And then my world fragments, light erupts, nerve endings fire, and
everything bursts apart like an amazing display of fireworks.

Then I hear Kade groan, feel his body
stiffen, and then feel his heat spilling as I squeeze him dry. When
he’s finished, he grabs my face and kisses me again. “You are
sublime, my gorgeous love.”

“Mmm. That was indeed sublime. And so are
you, Kade. Kiss me again.” And he does. A sweet, gentle kiss.

“You have my heart, Kade.”

He brushes his thumb across my cheek. “And
you
are
mine.”

~~~~~

“It’s time to tell the nuns,” I announce.

Kade stretches his long, muscular body, then
turns to me, grinning. He’s so sexy and beautiful and I ask myself
how I ever ended up with someone like him. Then he frowns.

“It’s just the exterior, Juliette. It’s
what’s inside that counts. Don’t ever forget that.”

How does he always know what I’m
thinking?

“Because you’re so readable. It’s in your
eyes. They are the most expressive things I’ve ever seen. I bet you
were a terrible liar when you were young.”

“I still am,” I say laughing.

He leans into me and runs his mouth down my
neck, making me shiver.

“One more dragon tale. He always told me my
looks were worth a million bucks but the rest of me was shit. That
stuck with me, but that’s the one thing he told me that was the
truth. Not the shit part, of course. But looks fade. It’s what you
make of yourself and the things you do in life that count.”

I thought Kade was broken. That he was
damaged and needed to be glued back together. But now I’m wondering
if he was sent to be my glue.

“Tell me.”

“It’s just that you claim to be the broken
one, but I don’t know. I think you’re here to put my broken pieces
back together. I feel so strong and capable when I’m with you. I
never felt like that before. Like I can do anything.”

He picks up the necklace I wear and rolls
the stone around in his fingers. It’s something I’ve gotten used to
and don’t give much thought to now.

“It is me or this?”

“What? No! It can’t be that, because I’ve
worn that since … well, you know. And I only started feeling this
way since we met.”

“Juliette, do you think it’s time to pursue
the meaning of this?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

“Especially now that you know the shadow
people aren’t here to hurt you?”

He may be right, but the last time I asked
him about it, he evaded my question.

“I offered to give it to him, and he acted
shocked.”

“Hmm. Have you researched it lately? Maybe
there’s new information on it.”

“I haven’t looked it up in a month or so.
But that’s a good idea. I know. We can take a picture of it and
look it up. You know, an image search?”

I have no idea why I hadn’t thought of this
before and I’m supposed to be the expert here. Kade offers to do
that while I go back to the convent and tell the nuns of my
decision. At first he wants to be with me, but I think I need to do
this on my own.

After my shower, I head off. Kade and I had
a mini argument. He wanted to drive me but I needed the fresh air.
It’s a gorgeous day, the end of December. The temperature is
supposed to get up in the fifties. As I walk, I laugh instead of
fear my shadows now. I hold back the wave that I nearly make when I
spy them following me everywhere.

The convent looms ahead and that sense of
dread I used to get is no longer present. Instead of going in the
front entrance, I detour through the back gate, making a tour
through the ragged winter gardens. I used to spend a lot of time
here, to escape from Sister Satan’s merciless criticism. The badly
neglected space (mostly because I haven’t been pulling up the dead
debris) looks forlorn and sad.

As I look around, I notice something odd in
the back corner. I skirt my way around some low shrubbery, and when
I get to the object in question, I stifle the scream of horror that
threatens to explode out of my mouth. It’s one of the nuns, I’m
sure. I don’t know which one, because she’s lying on her side
facing away from me. Before I gently roll her body, I know exactly
what I’m going to find. Throat ripped open, a pool of blood next to
her, and I’m sure her thigh is also sliced. Oh, sweet heavens, it’s
Sister Josephina, one of the sweetest people on Earth.

The oxygen leaves my body and I fight to
regain it. I am so immersed in this gruesome scene, I don’t notice
the atmosphere has shifted around me. Someone grabs me around my
waist and it’s him. He whispers in my ear, but I can’t see him.

“Close your eyes, Juliette.”

“But …” I want to tell him I can’t breathe.
But he won’t listen.

“Do as I say.” His voice is harsh.
Commanding. His arm clenches me even tighter, shaking me as he
talks. “Now!”

I do. But I also grasp his arm, my fingers
digging into it savagely. I lean my head back against the expanse
of his chest, and I don’t know why, but my fears lessen. His other
hand covers my face and now I sense movement. Air rushes into my
non-functioning lungs, and I expand them, inhaling as much oxygen
as I can.

Suddenly the motion ceases. I hear voices,
but they don’t speak English. I could kick myself for not taking
foreign languages. My mother was right. They always are, aren’t
they? He still holds me, my eyes covered, and then he says
something I can’t understand.

“What?”

He doesn’t respond. But everything turns
gray. Weirdly enough, the next thing I know, I’m standing in front
of the convent doors. My body feels odd. I can’t put my finger on
it. It simply feels different. I look around and see them—there are
more than just the usual two or three. I count five now. My brain
is foggy.