The Fall and Rise of Kade Hart: A Hart Brothers Novel (23 page)

“All good?”

“Yeah,” he rasps. He climbs over me and
says, “You said you’ve been dying for me, Jules? Well, I have hand
fucked myself more times than I care to tell you, because all I can
think about is you—naked on top of me, underneath me, my mouth on
you, eating you, tasting your sweet-saltiness. And the more I think
about you, the more I need to be inside of you. Now I’m going to
fuck you until you either scream my name or tell me to stop.”

Oh shit. Does he always say such sexy
things? My heart flaps like the wings of a hummingbird and
everything heats up at least ten degrees. I’m an inferno. Muscles
tighten, inside and out, and I’ve never needed anything more than
this man.

“Jules? You with me here?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m here.” My index finger
touches his lips for a second. “I … feel right here.”

He rests on his elbow so I can take his
hand. I place it over my heart and ask, “Do you feel that? You do
that to me.”

He moves his hand and places a kiss where it
rested, lifts himself over me, and then he pushes inside of me,
slowly, just a bit at a time.

“More. I want more.”

One hand laces fingers with mine and he
raises it over my head. His mouth catches mine and when it does, he
seats himself all the way. He swallows my moan and begins to
thrust. I match him, pushing my hips against his. I try to grab the
rhythm, but I’m lost—lost in lust and feelings and everything
that’s Kade.

My hand is freed and he takes my thigh and
raises it up, pushing it higher. Oh, lord, he hits a place deep
inside of me, that is … “Yes, right there, Kade. That’s so …” And I
can’t say any more because his thrust is so strong I lose my
air.

Then he pulls out and I whimper in
protest.

“I want to try something different.
Okay?”

“Okay.” I sound like a runner.

Moving behind me, with us both on our sides,
he slips inside of me and my body chants for more. It’s a strange
thing because now we both pick up a cadence. Well, that’s not quite
true. Kade sets it up, and I meet each thrust, my hips connect with
his, as he drives into me with an almost punishing tempo. It
reminds me of how he sometimes plays his music—relentlessly
unforgiving, losing himself as he thrums his fingers across the
keys. Now those very same fingers sink into the flesh of my hips,
bruising me as he buries himself in me. I’m filled with a greedy
appetite—I want more of him. As much as he’ll give. And I don’t
want this to ever end.

“More, Kade. Give me more.”

He groans, from somewhere deep in his chest,
and I get this urge to see him. I hate that I’m facing away from
him. But then his arm wraps around me and lifts my thigh, opening
me to him.

“Touch yourself, Jules. Put your hand on
your clit and rub it for me.” His hand rubs my ass and I don’t know
if I should be shocked or not. I put my hand on myself and he
covers it with his. “Show me how you like it.”

I start to move my fingers, circling my
clit, with his hand on top of mine. After a moment, he brushes my
hand aside and says, “Spread your lips apart for me. I want to do
it.”

Oh God! “I’m going to come.”

He kisses my neck. “Isn’t that the
idea?”

So I do it and I’m so lost I can’t stay that
way for long. I get wrapped up in an epic storm of an orgasm. It
hits me from my toes to my nose, setting off every nerve ending and
cell in my being. My arm flies back around his neck and I can tell
he’s getting ready to come, too. His body stiffens and then he
yells my name. His dick pulses against my inner muscles as his hand
continues to circle my clit.

“Kade!” I’m too sensitive now. He needs to
stop. But he doesn’t, so I grab his hand.

“No. I want more.”

“More? More of what?”

“This.”

He pulls out, lies on his back, and pulls me
over his mouth. Lord have mercy, what is this man doing to me? I’ll
tell you what he’s doing to me. He’s turning me into a voracious
sex addict. His tongue turns tricks on me I never knew existed.

“How … what are you doing down there?”

All I can feel is warm, wet, pleasure. He
presses his tongue hard against my clit and flicks it back and
forth over and over and over, so fast I come apart, like I did only
a few minutes or so ago. Then I flop forward like a lifeless rag
doll.

Kade lifts me like I’m weightless and lays
me on top of him. Next thing I know he’s kissing me like he never
kissed me before.

“To answer you, I was licking your clit,” he
laughs.

“I think you were trying to tranquilize
me.”

He bites my lip. Not softly either.

“You have a tattoo.” I kiss him back.

“I do.”

“You shaved.”

“I did.”

“I love it. It’s very sexy. Like over the
top sexy. Like I want to lick you all day sexy.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah.” I smile. But then I frown.

“What?”

“Do you want me to shave?”

“I love you just the way you are. It’s your
decision. I shaved because I wanted you to see my tattoo. It’s the
only way you can.”

“Do you think women are sexier with hair or
without?”

“That depends on the woman, I would think.
But you have to remember. I’ve not been with very many that I can
remember.”

“Would you like to see me without hair?”

“I think you’d like to see yourself without
hair,” and he laughs. I think about that for a minute and he’s
right.

“I would. I’m going to do it when I leave
the convent.”

Our afterglow is interrupted by Ethel
barking.

“Oh hell, I forgot about Ethel. She’s been
roaming around down there unsupervised.”

“And I’d better be getting back, too.”

We stand and he kisses me. “Did I tell you
how gorgeous you are?”

It embarrasses me to hear him say it. “No. I
feel frumpy. I haven’t had my hair done in forever and my clothes
are awful. Kade, I didn’t always look like this.”

“Juliette, I don’t look at what you wear, or
the style of your hair. I look at what’s within you.”

I jump up and hug him. I’m so short that
it’s a stretch. “Damn, you’re tall.”

“It’s okay. I’ll pick you up.”

We put our clothes on that are here and go
downstairs to finish dressing. Kade finds Ethel in his study.
Luckily everything’s fine. We eat a quick lunch, gather together
Ethel’s things, and get ready to leave for the convent.

“Oh, I have something for you. It’s an early
Christmas gift.”

“But I didn’t get you anything.”

“It’s fine.” He disappears for a brief bit
and then comes back and hands me a box. I unwrap it and inside is a
cell phone.

“What? You didn’t have to get this!”

“I wanted to. I was going to help you figure
out a way to hide it from Sister Helena, but we don’t have to do
that now.”

“I’m going to need lessons.”

“It’s super easy. You had one before,
right?”

“Yeah.”

“Still the same with a few more updates.
Just play with it. You’ll figure it out. My number’s in here
already. Call or text whenever.”

I throw my arms around him and thank him. “I
haven’t had a present in a very long time. Thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome. And Juliette, I love giving
presents. Just saying.” He walks out the door leaving Ethel and me
to follow.

Kade

The fading bruises on Juliette’s face stir
something in me. Yes, I want to beat the shit out of that wicked
bitch who did the damage to her beautiful face. But it runs much
deeper than that. When you’ve lived through years of abuse, it does
something to you. It weaves its way into your spirit, crippling
your mind and mutilating your soul until you’re barely human
anymore. The destruction is so extensive that you cease to exist as
yourself. Or at least I did. I was a husk of a man. And seeing
Juliette that way triggered those memories.

“
Get up, dirt bag.”

He came into my room and pushed me off my
bed. I was so high I hardly realized I hit the floor. Trying to
focus on him through my glazed eyes was hopeless.

“
Now that your brothers aren’t here to
protect you, let’s see how much of a man you are.”

He never came alone. One of his bully
bodyguards would be always accompany him. He’d knock me around,
punch, and kick me. My defense was to take it. I knew better. I was
lifeless, once again, spiritless flesh and bones, an easy target.
Afterwards, I would crawl back in bed and do another round of
drugs, just to ease the pain.

The next day when I went to school, the kids
made fun of me. My face would be swollen and bruised. I’m sure I
looked more like an eggplant than a high school boy. Breathing was
agonizing. My ribs could barely expand enough to allow any air to
pass. I didn’t talk to anyone about it—of course I had no friends
to confide in and my mom stayed hidden in her bedroom. When my
teachers would ask about it, I would lie and say I got into a fight
with some make believe person. My brothers were busy with their own
lives and I didn’t want to be a burden to them. They didn’t know
what went on in their absences—my nightmarish existence and the
hell I was locked inside of. Drugs were the only things that
helped. I thought about killing myself so many times, but then I
knew how much it would hurt my brothers that I couldn’t bring
myself to do it.

I thought things would get better when I
went to college. My father didn’t want me around him so I figured
he’d be glad to get rid of me. But I was so far into drugs by then,
it was an utter disaster. I needed help, but didn’t know how to get
it. He dragged me home one weekend and I endured another round of
his bullies’ fists. But this time, he put two of them on me. No
doubt several ribs were broken that time; my chest and back howled
with every tiny breath I took. Then he drove me back to school and
kicked me out of his car.

“
Straighten up. I’m not giving you any
more warnings.”

He drove off, leaving me lying on the curb
in front of my dorm, a bruised and bloodied mess. One of the guys
from my dorm saw what happened and helped me to my room. I did the
first thing I could think of—more drugs. And I descended further
into my own hell.

Juliette’s fading bruises make my body
tense. Being beaten when you’re in a powerless position is the most
helpless feeling in the world. If she hadn’t said something
immediately to calm me down, I would have unraveled right that
moment.

But now with Sister Helena removed, things
will be so much better. Juliette will be free to choose her own
path, and not feel obligated to stay in the convent, sneaking
around like some subservient terrified creature.

“Juliette, I want you to have a Merry
Christmas,” I say as we pull up in front of the convent. “You’re
sure things are good here now?”

She smiles. “They’re good. And you have a
wonderful time visiting your family. Merry Christmas, Kade. Thank
you for my phone. I’ll cherish it, I promise.” She gives me a quick
peck on the cheek and then hops out of the car. I have no choice
but to do the same, though I wish we could sit next to each other
for a bit longer.

I meet her at the back of the truck and stop
her from grabbing Ethel’s crate. “I’ll get that. You get
Ethel.”

“I’ve got her. I’ll grab the food and stuff,
too.”

“You won’t ever let me handle things, will
you?”

“I guess I’m just a worker bee, Kade.”

We have all the puppy’s things and head to
the convent, where we are met by an entire bevy of nuns, oohing and
ahhing over the little dog. Yeah, she’s going to be spoiled while
I’m gone. Since everyone is caught up in the cuteness of Ethel, I
quietly wish them all a Merry Christmas, and slip away.

The trouble is, I can’t seem to get Juliette
off my mind. The more I’m around her, the more aware I am of how
lonely I’ve been all these years. She’s opened up a door for me and
let the sunshine in. But I never noticed how damn gloomy my life
was before. I was so wrapped up in the healing and helping of
others, and even myself, I never thought the world could be so
bright.

My thoughts return to what she said about
taking things slow. And she’s right. My first inclination is to
dive in headfirst. It feels so damn good to be with her. But is it
because I’ve never been with anyone I could really talk to before?
To share my past with and not feel as though I’m being judged?

I pull into the parking lot at Living Free
and Mack is waiting.

“You ready to talk?” he asks.

“Yeah.” We walk inside and both take seats
in my office. I fill him in on what’s going on. He agrees about the
slow thing.

“So, we all concur on that. What about my
feelings of inadequacy, and how do I handle the part about wanting
to use?”

“Come on, Kade. You know the answer to that.
What would you tell an addict at one of your meetings?”

“To find another outlet.”

Mack leans back in his chair. “Exactly. But
what I don’t want you to find is sex.”

“What?”

“Don’t replace the drugs with sex. You’re an
addict. Don’t think you can’t become addicted to sex, too.”

“Is there usually crossover from substance
abusers?”

“Not necessarily, but it sounds like you’re
really into her.”

“Well, yeah, but I’m not going to go out and
fuck just anyone.” It pisses me off that he would even think
that.

“Good. I needed to hear that.”

“Damn, Mack, I’m not a fucking
manwhore.”

“Calm down, man. I know you’re not. I was
worried that you’d never be interested in sex again. Remember? I
just had to make sure. So now that we have that established, what
can you do?”

“Find another outlet.”

“Like?”