The Fall and Rise of Kade Hart: A Hart Brothers Novel (19 page)

“Don’t you know? Don’t you know that you do
the same to me?”

“How did this happen?”

I can only laugh at his question. “That’s
what I’m asking myself.”

“Promise me you’ll let me get you a
phone.”

“I promise I’ll think about it. I’ve been
afraid to because I was afraid it would lead them to me.”

“I knew there was another reason. But I
don’t think you need to worry about that. I’m going to give you a
key to the house and the code to the security system. You should
have one in case I’m late and you have Ethel duties anyway.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure.”

“Okay.” It makes perfect sense. If something
were to happen, I feel much better knowing someone else has access
to Ethel. “And I will think about the phone, but I may have to hide
it from Sister Helena.”

“Why?”

“Because she doesn’t think I need one. And
neither do I.”

“You didn’t before, but you do now.” He
glares pointedly at me. “I don’t intend for this to be the end of
us.”

“What if they can track me if I have
one?”

“Okay, fair point. Don’t you think with all
the ability they have, they would’ve found you? I think your
shadows are preventing that. And I still would feel safer if you
had one. And like I said before, this isn’t the end for us, it’s
only the beginning.”

He’s right. I can’t in good conscience
become a nun. That’s absurd, knowing how I feel about him. Even if
I’m not emotionally attached, which I’m not sure what I am at this
point, I’ve had sex and feel
something
. But I have to ask
it.

“So, Kade, you sure this wasn’t just a fling
for you? You know, because of the circumstances?”

His body tenses as his voice rises. “What?
Fuck no, it wasn’t a damn fling. Was it for you?”

“Not at all. But I had to ask.”

“You’ve asked and I answered.”

“I still have to go back.”

“I know, but I don’t like it. Think about
the phone, will you? For me?”

“Yeah. If I can come up with a good hiding
place for it, I will.”

“Your pocket? Does she really have that much
control over you?”

“Unfortunately, yes.”

He’s not happy. I grab my things together
and we put Ethel in her crate after taking her out, and make our
way to the truck.

“I feel like I’m going on an adventure,” I
say.

“I feel like I’m sending you to the wolf.
The she-wolf.”

“We’ll figure it out.”

“You have the key and the code?”

“Sure do.”

After giving me one long, hard, look, he
puts the truck in reverse, and backs out of the driveway.

“One thing I hate about this truck is I wish
it fit in my garage. I wouldn’t have to clean the snow and frost
off every morning.”

We make casual talk all the way back to the
convent. Some roads are still thick with snow and Kade has to find
alternate routes to take. Eventually, he pulls up to the church.
The parking lot is unplowed and the street leading to the convent
entrance is not drivable.

“I guess I’ll walk from here.”

An arm reaches across me and grabs my hand,
preventing me from opening the door. “Like hell you will. Look at
how deep the snow is. Your boots are inadequate to get you there.
If you insist on going, I’m carrying you.”

My mouth opens to protest, but he’s out of
the car before I can utter a word. My door swings open and he tells
me to stand on the running board. He turns around and says, “Hop
aboard.”

“Kade, I feel foolish.”

“I don’t give a damn. Your feet and legs
will be dry and unfrozen when I get you there.”

He carries me as though I weigh nothing.

“Am I not heavy?” I ask.

He laughs. “You’re not serious, are
you?”

“Uh, yeah. I don’t want to weigh you
down.”

“Hell, Juliette, you weigh as much as
Ethel.”

My chest tightens when he uses my real name.
“You can’t call me that. Ever. Not here or anywhere other than your
house.”

He stops. His body moves with the motion of
his breathing. “You’re right. I didn’t think. Emmalia.” He picks up
his pace again, pushing through the drifts and piles of thick snow.
When the convent comes into view, his body stiffens. Mine does,
too. It’s a dismal place, gray and dank inside, with no love to
warm me, or arms to wrap around me. I’m instantly chilled to the
bone.

“You okay?” he asks.

“Yes.”

“Having second thoughts?”

“Not second thoughts. Just not very happy
ones about returning.”

“Then come up with something fast about how
you decided this wasn’t the life for you. Don’t make us wait too
long.”

His words circulate around my brain, making
me question coming back here at all. Why did I do this? Was this
even wise? I could’ve stayed with Kade and cut my ties completely.
But no, that wouldn’t have been the right thing to do. That’s not
how I was raised. I would not have been proud of my actions.

The door looms before us, dark, heavy, and
foreboding. My belly aches with dread. Sister Helena is going to be
her nastiest to me and I’m going to have put on my best face. When
we reach the porch, the door swings open and there she stands, her
face pinched with anger.

“Mr. Hart, what in the name of God do you
think you’re doing with Emmalia?”

“Carrying her of course.”

“Put her down immediately!”

I’ve never seen Sister Helena in such a
state. “He was only doing this because …”

“I don’t care to hear any explanations from
you, Emmalia. Go to your room at once.” She speaks to me like an
errant child and resentment builds.

“Wait one minute, please, Emmalia. You will
hear it because I’m going to tell you. The reason I was carrying
her is because the snow was too deep for her to walk through in her
inadequate clothing. Feel her coat, her pants.” He grabs my arm and
puts it in her hand. “They are unsuitable for this weather, as are
her boots. You may choose to wear those things, Sister Helena, but
this borders on abuse. I’m going directly to Father Anthony when I
leave here to inform him of this. Good day.” And he stomps out the
door, mad as hell.

Sister Helena turns her fury on me. “You
have behaved most inappropriately. I am ashamed of you, Emmalia. Go
to your room and I will decide what punishment to bestow upon
you.”

With a bowed head, I leave her presence,
eager to get away. I don’t know what happened to her in her early
days, but whatever it was, it has turned her into a bitter woman
who has no compassion for her fellow man. I’m curious as to how the
other nuns view her. We never discuss it, but they have to have the
same view as I do.

My room is as depressing as a tomb. Grey
cinderblock walls greet me as I enter. Flimsy white curtains that
have seen better days hang crookedly over the one small window, but
they don’t do much good at keeping the light out. That never
bothered me before because I’m always up before daylight. But now,
it’s disheartening after staying at Kade’s lovely home. Warmth and
coziness emanated from every nook and cranny of his place but here,
an arctic numbness seeps into my bones, chilling me more than I
thought possible. That is until my gaze lands on my pitiful bed.
When I see it, I want to run out of here screaming Kade’s name. The
twin bed looks as lonely as a castaway on a deserted island. My
skin itches as I imagine how the sheets will irritate it with their
roughness. And I shiver at how I know the thin blankets won’t be
enough to keep me warm. My butt hits the bed as I wrap my arms
around my knees and rock myself, trying to soothe my distress.

If Sister Helena finds me like this, she’ll
really punish me. I have to pull myself together. Giving myself the
best pep talk I can muster, I remind myself that Kade is ever
present. One call and I can be back with him. But is that what I
need or want? No! That’s rushing things. I can’t do that to him or
to me. We need to let things work themselves out.

The screeching of my door opening pulls me
out of my musings. Sister Helena stands there with her usual
pinched look on her face. But this time it’s worse. Her lips press
into a thin line as she stands there slowly shaking her head at me.
No scathing words, no berating, nothing but silence, and it hangs
heavy in the room. Sister Helena must be in her late sixties. She’s
exactly like those nuns you hear of from the olden days, the ones
who would dole out corporal punishment like candy, and she’s as
unforgiving as stone. I realize this is going to be worse than I
anticipated.

I lock onto her cold-hearted gaze, refusing
to back down. She hates this because she adores the authority she
has and waves it like a banner whenever she can. Never breaking eye
contact, she slowly approaches me and when she gets within inches
of me, she starts to circle, like some vicious predator, waiting to
attack. Should I be more afraid of her than my shadows? She looks
like she wants to eat me for dinner.

When she’s completed one rotation, her face
pokes itself into my neck and she sniffs. She fucking sniffs, like
a dog.

“You
reek
of him. I could smell him
on you when you walked into the convent,” she spits the words
out.

What the hell is she talking about? How can
she smell him on me? Does she have Spidey senses or something?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Don’t you dare lie to me, you little hussy.
I’ll not have it, not within the sacred walls of this building.”
Her voice hits decibels I didn’t think possible. She’s going to
have every nun in my room before long.

“Sister Helena, you need to calm down.”

“Don’t you dare tell me what I need to do
you little tramp. You’re nothing but the devil’s whore.”

Oh my God! She’s gone batty on me.

Her taloned hand reaches out and grabs my
shirt, pulling it close to her. Now we’re nose to nose, while she
rants. “You came in here, begging me to give you a chance. Well I
gave it to you, believing all your lies.” And then she full on
slaps me. My cheek stings like fire. But she doesn’t stop there.
She slaps me again and again. I’m so shocked and addled, I don’t
think to stop her. I stand there like some dork who doesn’t know
how to defend herself. Finally, she balls up her wrinkled fist and
rams it into my cheek. Stars light up my dim room as my head jerks
back from the impact. I stagger backwards until I lose my balance
and my butt hits the floor.

“You deserve to be whipped, you little slut.
You’d better beg God to forgive your sins. You’re nothing but
Satan’s follower.”

She leaves me lying in a heap. When she
slams the door, even though my jaw and cheek are howling with pain,
I hear the distinct sound of a lock clicking. The lunatic locked me
in my room!

Dragging myself to my feet, I check to see
if it’s true and sure enough, it is. I jiggle and shake it, trying
to see if I can somehow open it. It’s useless. Then I pound on the
door, screaming and yelling, “Let me out of here. You can’t hold me
prisoner! Let me out!”

I keep repeating the words until my trachea
burns and is raw. My fingers tenderly touch my cheek and I find
it’s puffy and sore. One thing’s for sure. I need to get the hell
out of here, but how am I going to do that?

The window! I open the shabby curtains to
check it out. It’s a possibility, but as I’m looking, the lock
clicks and I quickly close them and turn to face whoever is
coming.

When the door opens, it’s not who I feared
it would be, but it’s Sister Mary Elizabeth, one of the sweeter
nuns, whom I’m fond of. She looks rather sheepish when she
enters.

“Emmalia, Sister Helena sent me—good lord,
what happened to your face?”

I’m angry. Furious, in fact. I would clench
my teeth, but I can’t because my freaking jaw hurts too badly.
“Maybe you should ask Sister Helena. No wait, I’ll save you the
trip. She beat me.”

“Sister Helena did that?”

“Yes. I imagine I look a fright.”

“Indeed. Let me get you some ice.”

“Don’t you leave me in this God forsaken
room. I’m going with you.”

Her hands fidget, knotting and unknotting
each other. I’m in no mood for this.

“Spit it out, Sister. Now.”

Her head whips up and I glare at her. I
imagine she’s a bit shocked by my demeanor because I usually act
demure around the nuns. Not anymore. I will not be bullied or
beaten by some nut case of a nun.

“I’m to keep you locked in your room,” she
stutters.

“When hell freezes over. I am
not
a
prisoner here and am free to come and go when I please. Do I make
myself clear?”

With bulging eyes, she rapidly nods. I
change my pants, pulling on long underwear and heavier ones on top.
Then I change my sweater, adding layers underneath. I add two
layers of socks, put my boots back on, and grab my coat.

“Emmalia, where are you going?”

“To Father Anthony’s. I’m reporting Sister
Helena. I will not be beaten or held under lock and key by anyone,
I don’t fucking care who they are.”

The gasp from Sister Mary Elizabeth that I
expected never comes. She only says, “I don’t blame you dear. It’s
about time someone stands up to her.”

Marching past her, I carry on right out the
convent door and straight to the rectory where Father Anthony
lives. When I get there, the door is locked as I expected it to be.
With this kind of snow, there would be no way for his secretary to
get to work today. My fists pound and pound on the door until he
opens it, saying, “Hold on. I’m coming. Give an old man a
chance.”

When he gets a good look at me he says, “Get
inside and please tell me Kade Hart did not do that to you.”

“No, Father, he did not. Sister Helena did.
And worse, she tried to keep me locked in my room. She called me a
tramp, a whore, a slut, and Satan’s follower. I will not tolerate
being bullied or beaten by anyone. If I go back there, I
will
retaliate.”