The Essential Guide to Gay and Lesbian Weddings (73 page)

If I had my life to live again the only thing I would do different is drink more champagne.

—Oscar Wilde

Do we even need to say the words? Yes. Don't let your friends drink and drive. For selfish reasons, if nothing else. Do you want an after-wedding tragedy to spoil your memories of the occasion? And if that doesn't put the fear of God into you, how about this? In most states there are laws holding the host liable for allowing guests to drive while intoxicated. If you don't want to be responsible for keeping tabs on your guests yourself, appoint a levelheaded friend to collect car keys from anyone who gets carried away. And we wouldn't be doing our duty if we didn't remind you that you should never serve alcohol to minors. Last but not least, if you're using a caterer, see if they have liquor liability insurance in case a guest drinks too much, drives, and later sues.

Cheers!

CONSPICUOUS CONSUMPTION, BY THE NUMBERS

1 to 10:
the ratio of servers to guests for a dinner service

1 to 25:
the ratio of servers to guests for a cocktail party

3:
the number of napkins to buy per guest

6 to 8:
the number of glasses per bottle of wine or champagne

1/2:
the number of bottles of wine or champagne each guest will drink

4:
the number of hors d'oeuvres each person will eat in an hour

2:
the number of drinks each guest at a cocktail party will consume in an hour

1:
number of pounds of ice you'll need per person, depending on the weather

22:
the number of 1.5-ounce shots you'll get from a 1-liter bottle of alcohol

If you're using a hotel or other site where events are part of their business, you'll get a full-blown contract that will cover the following points. Other suppliers may only give you a letter of agreement; either way, be sure the following areas are taken care of:

Space to be used, including extra rooms, suites, changing rooms.

Hours when the event is to begin and end, and options for exceeding those time limits. Is there an overtime charge?

Cost breakdowns per guest and for each service.

Payment plan—how much do you owe them and when is it due? (There is usually a 20 percent deposit, and 40 percent due two weeks in advance, with the balance due the day of the event in the form of a certified check.)

Deadlines for guest counts, postponements, and cancellations.

Responsibility for any damage and breakage caused by you or your guests (from a broken glass to a food fight that ruins the drapes).

Display and decorations (whatever you do to alter the space must not damage the premises).

Setup of tables and chairs.