The Deeper We Get (13 page)

“I know what I’ve done. I see it every night when I go to sleep. It’s like a movie I can't turn off.”

“I see it too. I see her bloody and broken body. I hear Becca screaming for you to stop. I feel the same terror and helplessness. There is no forgiveness for that Tom, absolutely none.” I stalked into my apartment and slammed the door behind me.

God I was tired. The
days had begun to blur together. I worked too hard, pushed myself too far. But I didn’t care. Nothing mattered without her. I’d pushed her away, and there was nothing I could do about the consequences now.

I trudged up the stairs to my apartment, wanting nothing more than my bed and a good night’s sleep. I stopped when I got to my door,
because something didn’t feel right. The door was closed, but I could hear someone moving around inside.

I debated with myself for a moment, my hand poised to unlock the door. Should I call the police, or just go in and see who it is? Curiosity won out. I unlocked the door and pushed it open. I was not in any way prepared for what I saw.

My father was standing in front of my couch with Scarlet next to him. He looked weird, like he hadn’t slept in weeks. His clothes were filthy, covered in stains and grime. His eyes darted from me to the open door, and he inched closer to Scarlet.

My heart stopped at the look of pure terror in her eyes. A bruise was forming around her eye
, and she had a split lip. The way she stood made me think she probably had at least one cracked rib.

“What’s going on here?” I asked as I stepped further into the apartment. I needed to get to her.

Tom grabbed Scarlet and whipped a knife out of his pocket. My eyes were glued to it as he raised it to her throat. He pressed it to her neck, and she let out a yelp. “Put it down Tom, you don’t need to do this,” I said calmly as I inched forward.

“Don’t tell me what I need. You don’t know anything about need. I needed you
, and you turned your back on me. I came to you asking for help. Why didn’t you help me, Chad?” His eyes shifted from me to Scarlet’s neck as he spoke.

“I wanted to help you. I did help you
. I got you into that apartment.”

“That’s not what I mean
, and you know it,” he screamed. “I needed money. I can't think straight.” He scratched at his chin.

There was a noise outside
, and his head snapped up, his gaze swiveling to the window. “What was that? Did you call the police?” He looked crazed.

“What? No, how would I have done that Tom? You were inside when I got home
. I didn’t even know you were here.”

“I know they’re coming. They’re always after me.”

A tear slipped down Scarlet’s cheek. I could only imagine how terrified she must be. I couldn't lose her, wouldn’t lose her.

“Please
Dad, just let her go. This isn't about her.” I took a step toward them.

He pressed the knife in, nicking her. A line of red formed where the blade met her skin. She made a strangled sound and tried not to flinch. My heart broke then, it smashed to pieces. Seeing her hurt because of me was the last straw.

“Dad, if I ever meant anything to you please let her go,” I begged.

He finally looked me in the eyes. “You love her huh?”

I’d never even said it to Scarlet yet. “Yes, I do. More than anything. Just let her go and we can work this out just you and me.”

“Love is a funny thing
. At first it’s amazing, and all you can think about is the other person. But then, things happen and life changes, and suddenly love isn’t enough for them.” He looked out the window as he spoke. “Love wasn't enough for her in the end. All we did was fight and scream at each other. But God help me I still love her so much it hurts. I would give anything to have her back.”

I nodded, wanting to look sympathetic. “I get that
Dad. Please don’t take Scarlet from me the way Mom was taken from you.” My voice was soft.

He looked down at Scarlet, his free hand smoothing away the tears from her cheek. “It will all be over soon
,” he whispered in her ear. Scarlet started to shake, the tears coming faster now.

What will all be over?
“Dad, you’re scaring her.”

“Does it look like I care?”

“What do you want from me, Dad? What can I give you to make this stop?” I was frantic, I need her to be away from him, needed her to be safe.

“What do you think I want
, Chad? I need money. I’m sick, and I need to get better, but I can't without money.” The hand holding the knife to Scarlet shook, causing the knife to bite into her skin more.

Her bloodied skin tore at my heart. He had hurt her because of me and for that I would never forgive him. I would carry the image of her bruised and broken skin with me forever.

“Stop this. I’ll give you anything you want, just let her go,” I pleaded. “How much will it take Tom?”

He shifted uncomfortably and scratched at his arm. “I...I don't know. How much do you have?”

“On me? Not a ton, maybe fifty.”

“That’s not enough. Not nearly enough
,” Tom yelled.

“I want to help you, but you have to tell me how much is enough.” I was going crazy
. I needed to get her away from him.

“
Five thousand,” he finally said.

My heart sank into my stomach. I had more than enough to cover it, but I would have to go to the bank to get it. I couldn’t leave her with him. “Done. Let her go and w
e can go together and get it.”

He narrowed his eyes at me. “Just how stupid do you think I
am? I let her go and there won’t be any money.”

“Not true. I’m a man of my word
, and I’ll get you your money. I won’t do it if she’s still with you.” I hoped I sounded more confident than I felt.

“No, no, you have to go now, by yourself.” He shook his head, looking more manic than he had been before. There was no way I could leave now.

“What would stop me from calling the cops when I left?”

He cocked his head to the side and smiled
. “What would stop me from slitting her throat? I’ve killed once, it wouldn’t be hard to do it again. Just a little more pressure on the blade and her hot blood would spill all over us. So easy, so, so easy.”

“Fine, I’ll go. Please just take the knife away and let me clean her up before I go.”

He studied me, not sure of my actual intentions. “Okay.” He shoved her away from him.

The instant she was clear of him
, I launched myself at him. I couldn’t see the knife anymore, but I knew he still had it in his hand. My fist connected with his nose, the crunch of his bones spurred me on.

“You little shit! You’re going to pay for that.” He raised the knife and swiped at me with it. I dodged out of the way.

“Scarlet get out of here! Go call the police!” I shouted as I dodged another slice of the knife.

I knocked the knife out of his hand
, and we traded blows for a moment. He was a lot stronger than I thought he would be for how frail he looked. Somehow we ended up on the ground, with me on top of him punching with everything I had in me. I could feel him punching at my back and side, but I didn’t stop until I heard Scarlet screaming.

“Chad stop, he’s not moving anymore. We’re safe now.” She put a hand on my shoulder.

I rolled off of my father’s motionless and bloody body and looked up at her. “I’m so sorry.”

“This isn't your fault.” She shook her head.

I tried to stand up but suddenly everything started going black. I could hear her screaming my name and the sound of feet pounding down the hall before the world faded.

“Chad, wake up.”

“Mmm.”

“Come on, get up. We need to leave.” Becca was shaking me, trying to get me out of bed.

“It’s too early.”

“Come on, we need to get you ready.” She pulled the covers off of me and tugged me out of bed.

“Where are we going?” I rubbed my eyes.

“We have to go say goodbye to Frannie today
,” she said solemnly. “You want to look nice for her right?”

I nodded.

“Okay, let’s get you into your dress clothes then.” She patted my head and got out the clothes our neighbor had gotten me. I didn’t want to say goodbye, I didn’t want her to be gone. I tried not to cry as she buttoned my shirt.

“Hey, it’s
okay. You know we’re going to be okay right?” She held my chin in her hands, searching my eyes.

“Yeah. I just miss her so much already.”

“I miss her too. It’s you and me forever bud. I’ll always take care of you.”

I was glad
Daddy was gone. He always hurt me so bad. The belt was the worst, he never got tired with the belt.

“You believe me that I’ll take care of you right?” Becca took my face in her hands and peered into my eyes.

“I’ll always believe you Becca.”

She hugged me tight
, and we both cried for the sister who was taken from us

Beep. Beep. Beep. I could hear voices around me, and the constant beeping of something.
Why couldn’t I open my eyes?

“How long has he been out of surgery?” Ruth’s anxious voice asked.

“Not long, only about an hour,” Scarlet responded. I could feel the pressure of her hands on my own.
Why couldn’t I move?

“Are you
okay? Can we call someone for you?” Becca’s voice came through next.

“I’m
okay, my uncle is around somewhere. I just can’t leave him right now.”

“You’re not
okay.” Becca was firm. “Have the doctors looked at you yet?”

She sighed. “Yes, they took me back as soon as Chad was in surgery. I’m fine. A few stitches here and there
, and they taped up my ribs. I’m not worried about me.” She stopped for a moment, and I felt her lips on my forehead. “He can't die,” she whispered.

“Oh honey
,” Becca choked out.

“I was so cold to him Becca. You don’t understand. I walked away. I didn’t let him back in. I love him so much. He can’t die, he just can’t
,” she sobbed.

I love you baby. Don’t stop fighting for me.

“Come on with me for a minute,” Becca urged softly.

The room was silent for a moment, except for the constant beeping of the machines.

“Oh God.” Ruth’s voice shook. “I’m so sorry he hurt you again. When we took you in, I promised myself I would never let anything happen to you again. I’m so sorry I failed you.” She clutched my hand tightly.

No! Don’t blame yourself. This was my fault. I should have let you all help me. I should never have let him back in.

“You have to be strong for us now. Keep fighting. We need you Chad.” Her voice cracked with emotion.

“Do you have any questions for me?” Ruth sat on the couch across from me. I felt weird still, this was too much. One minute I’m in jail, the next I'm across the country in a crazy big house.

“Why did you agree to this?” I honestly wanted to know, so I could wrap my head around what this would be and how long I would be here.

“I’m not really sure I know the answer to that. Once we heard your story, we couldn’t not take you,” she responded.

“How long will I be here?”

“As long as you would like to be here.” She looked like she wanted to say more but stopped herself.

“What?” I nodded for her to continue.

“I don’t want to scare you.”

“Say it please.”

“You were mine the second I saw you Chad. I knew it when I was talking to Levi. You need me as much as I need you. This house is too big for just Samuel and me. My boys have always been my purpose. I’ve felt lost, without a sense of direction. I think that maybe we can help each other. What do you think?”

“What do you want from me, for all of this there must be some price to pay.”

“No price, we just want you to be happy.”

“I forg
ot what happy is.”

She shook her head sadly
. “No one should forget what happy feels like. I promise to love you and to protect you always.”

I wanted to believe her, with every part of me I wanted to believe her. Too many people had let me down in my life, I didn’t know how to trust anymore.