The Cowboy's Sweetheart (8 page)

Ryder stepped away from the porch rail he was leaning against and tipped his hat back as she walked out the door. She paused, for just a breath of a second and then let the door close behind her. He even reached out his hand for hers. But she couldn't go there, not yet. She wasn't quite ready for this new relationship, or the new Ryder.

A year ago if he'd grinned and winked at her, she would have told him to peddle his charms somewhere else, to some other female. She walked down the steps and Ryder followed, catching up and walking next to her.

“This is supposed to be a date.” Ryder pushed the door of the truck closed when she tried to open it. She glared and he smiled.

“I wanted to open the door for you,” he murmured.

“You don't have to. It looks as if you already loaded my horse.” Back up, slow down. She took in a deep breath. “Ryder, I've seen you on dates, I know that side of you, the guy who charms and courts. I don't want that. I want my best friend.”

“I am your best friend.”

“But that guy never opened the door for me. He also didn't try to hold my hand.”

“I guess that's the truth.” He looked down at the ground and then back up, his dark eyes hanging on to hers. “Do you know how to go back?”

The words bounced between them like a game of
pinball gone bad. They just stood there, facing each other and facing reality. And Andie finally closed her eyes and shook her head.

He pulled the truck door open and motioned for her to get in. Andie sat down in the leather bucket seat and Ryder leaned, close enough for her to catch the scent of his soap and to notice that the hair curling under his hat was still damp. She reached, nearly touching those soft curls at the nape of his neck. But she couldn't make that connection because thinking about it stole her breath and made her thoughts turn to being held by him.

That was a lot more complicated than holding his hand.

Ryder backed away, as if his own thoughts troubled him more than he could admit. He winked and closed the truck door.

They rode in silence to the Circle C Ranch, which was owned by the Cooper family. George Strait played on the radio and the breeze whipped in through open windows. Andie loved autumn, had always looked forward to the changing temperatures, the leaves turning colors and the scent of smoke from fireplaces and woodstoves.

This year she looked forward to surviving, to getting past this moment and finding the next path of her future. With a child. She watched out the window, spotting a fox chasing across the field. It distracted her, but just for a moment and then her thoughts went back again.

To faith.

Faith. She closed her eyes and tried to dig up the tattered remnants of what had felt like faith two months ago, before she knew. She'd been seeking a new beginning, thinking she could work it all out, that she'd suddenly not be angry with her mother and that she would
immediately forgive. Instead, she was facing a totally different set of problems.

She didn't want her baby to grow up feeling like a problem.

She wouldn't let that happen.

“Cheer up, Andie, we'll get through this.” Ryder's easy comment, said with a smile.

“Of course we will.” She kept her gaze on the window, at the fields and neighboring farms.

“Or we'll give up, sing about gloom, despair and agony on us, and cry in our oatmeal?”

“Stop being an optimist.” She turned up the radio, refusing to smile.

Ryder turned it back down. They were on the long drive that led to the Coopers'. A dozen or more trucks and trailers were parked in a gravel area to the south of the arena and people milled around, leading horses or standing in groups talking.

“I'm going to be an optimist, Andie.” Ryder slowed the truck and parked. “I'm going to be the person you count on. I might not pull it off without a hitch, but I'm going to do my best.”

“Okay, we'll try this out.” She reached for the truck door. “But don't get creepy on me. I want to know that some things haven't changed.”

But she knew better. They both knew better.

When they got out of the truck, he met her at the back of the trailer and she could tell that he had more to say. He held onto the latch of the trailer gate, looking inside at their horses.

“Listen, Andie, we've been through a lot together.” He pulled up on the latch. “We went through the mess of my pretty dysfunctional family and you stood by me. We were kids, spitting on our hands and shaking,
making a deal to forget about church because of what happened.”

“It was wrong.”

“I know, but it happened and my dad was the reason it happened. I've been thinking a lot about faith, and church. I've been thinking that maybe we should hang tight, stick this out together.”

“This, you mean the pregnancy?”

He turned red. “Yeah, the pregnancy.”

“You can barely say it.”

“I can say it. And I can tell you that on Sunday I'll be picking you up for church.”

“I'm holding you to that. But why now?”

“Because I'm not going to be my dad. This kid isn't going to have to worry about what his parents are doing or how messed up his family is.”

“It could be a girl.”

“I'm okay with a girl.”

“That's good, because I think it is a girl.” Andie couldn't look at Ryder, not when they were talking about their baby, their future. But they weren't discussing marriage because he didn't love her and she wouldn't marry someone who didn't love her.

What if someday he really fell in love with someone, someone he wanted to marry? What then? Or what if she fell in love? She met his gaze, those dark eyes that she knew so well, eyes she had looked into a thousand times before.

What if she lost him as a friend? She had protected that friendship for years. How did she protect it now, when they were facing the biggest challenge of their lives?

“We should go.” He opened the gate and she backed
up. “Andie, I mean it. I know my track record is pretty shaky, but I'm in this for the long haul.”

Lights came on around the arena and someone whooped out a warning for them to hurry.

“I know you are,” she whispered.

Or at least she wanted to hope. But she couldn't dwell on that. This moment, facing friends, people they'd known their whole lives, was going to take all the courage she could muster.

For a brief second his fingers touched hers, grasping them lightly and then letting go. She tried not to think about high school, about how everything had been a new experience and holding hands had been more about belonging to someone and less about really being in love.

And belonging was okay.

He stepped into the trailer and backed her horse out. She took the lead rope and moved out of his way as he backed his horse out.

“Is it too late to change our minds?” She glanced up at him and he smiled.

“I think this is pretty permanent.”

“I don't mean about the baby, you goof. I mean about this, about facing people, facing questions.”

“I think it's too late. We're okay, Andie.”

That was easy for him to say. She'd never felt less okay in her life. But he was getting their horses out of the trailer and if she was going to live her life in Dawson, she would have to deal with looks and whispers.

 

Ryder tightened the girth strap on his saddle and the big roan gelding that he'd brought with him twitched and stomped his back hooves. The roan was new and Ryder couldn't even get used to the horse's name. Half the time
he couldn't remember it. But the name Red worked and the horse didn't seem to care.

“I'm going to tie Dusty and head over to the arena.” Andie smiled but he didn't think the look met up with her eyes the way it should.

But he didn't question her. He wasn't going to start doing that. He was the baby's dad, not Andie's keeper. He was having a hard time keeping those two things separate.

“Okay. They're going to put out the barrels later. After steer wrestling and team roping.”

“I know, but I'm not sure if I'll ride him tonight. These are younger riders with younger horses. I'll just give pointers if they want, but…”

“Not be a show-off.”

She smiled, this time it looked like the real thing. “Yeah, something like that.”

Someone yelled his name. “Gotta run.”

She nodded and he almost didn't go. But he had to ride away, to keep this moment normal. He grabbed the saddle horn and swung into the saddle, nearly reaching for her hand and pulling her up with him once he was in the saddle. Instead he held tight to the reins and backed away.

But she hadn't moved. He nudged the red roan forward, close to her and she looked up, questions in her eyes. He didn't have a single answer for her. Instead he leaned and touched her cheek.

“I won't let you down.”

She nodded and he rode off, leaving her there alone.

When he got to the arena Reese Cooper motioned him forward.

“You gonna rope with Clay tonight?”

Ryder nodded. “If he needs a partner, I'm the guy.”

“He thought so.” Reese Cooper was one of the middle Cooper kids. And there were a few of them. Ryder had lost track but he thought there were more than a dozen kids in the Cooper clan. Some were biological, some adopted and a few were foster kids that stayed.

Clay was adopted from Russia years ago. Five years ago he hit about sixteen and every girl in Dawson went crazy over him.

Reese had always been the center of attention.

Ryder wasn't bothered by the fact that the ladies loved the Cooper clan. It meant he could live his life without too many problems from the ladies of Dawson. It did kind of bother him that Andie had dated Reese.

“You gonna ride a bull tonight?” Clay walked up, sandy blond hair and gray eyes. His chaps were bright pink, because Clay didn't care what anyone thought of pink.

“I've thought about it.” Ryder settled into the saddle of the roan gelding, holding him steady because the horse hadn't adjusted yet. Obviously the animal had led a quiet life up to this point. Tonight was a real test for him, what with lights, noise and a few rangy bulls bellowing from the pens to the side of the arena.

“Come on, then, we've got bulls ready.” Clay spoke with an accent. Ryder tried not to smile because he hadn't figured out if the accent was real, or just something he used as a gimmick. It just seemed that when the kid had been ten or twelve, the accent hadn't been so thick.

Ryder glanced around the arena, finally spotting Andie. She was sitting on the row of risers with Jenna Cameron and the twins. And Jenna's new baby. Funny, thinking about Jenna married to Adam MacKenzie,
retired pro football player, and owner of Camp Hope. Adam and Clint, now brothers-in-law, must have brought the bulls over.

That meant they'd be over by the pens on the opposite side of the arena.

“I'll ride a bull.” Ryder backed his horse away from the two Coopers. “I'm going to say hello to Clint and Adam. And when you're ready to rope, let me know.”

He rode around the back side of the arena, passing a few friends who waved but didn't stop him for a conversation. They looked at him, though, as if they knew. It wouldn't be long before everyone knew.

Clint and Adam were moving the bulls through the pens and into the chutes. Clint waved and then closed a gate between two pens.

“Ryder, good to see you here.” Adam MacKenzie walked toward him. “I've been meaning to tell you how much I appreciated the help with fences at Camp Hope.”

“It was no big deal.”

“Seriously, though, it meant a lot to us.” Adam pulled a cola out of a cooler and tossed it his way.

“I didn't mind at all. The camp is a great thing for the kids, and for this community. Gives Dawson something to talk about besides…”

Besides him, for a change.

“How was your season?” Clint had joined them. A few years back the two had ridden to events together. Until Willow showed up in town. And Jenna's boys. The two, Clint and Willow, had fallen in love while taking care of Jenna's boys.

Now that Ryder thought about it, all of their lives had been taking some pretty serious direction changes. These guys didn't seem the worse for wear.

Of course for the last couple of years, Ryder had done a lot of teasing. His friends had all fallen, and they'd all changed their ways. They were family men, now. They went to church and took care of their wives and kids.

He hadn't really envied them.

And now they were staring at him, waiting for him to answer Clint's question.

“Good, really good. Brute turned into a great gelding. I don't know if I told you, but I bought his daddy last week. I needed a good stud horse on the place.”

“That sounds like a career choice,” Adam interjected with a smile.

“Yeah, maybe.” He glanced toward the bleachers. He knew where Andie was sitting, even if he couldn't see her clearly from where he was.

“How's Wyatt?” Clint changed the subject and Ryder met his gaze, saw his smile shift. “I saw him drive through town the other day.”

Ryder shrugged, and he didn't sit down. “Wyatt's as good as he can be. It's been a long year for him. I don't know how a guy gets over that.”

Gets over finding his wife dead and their two little girls in the playpen, crying. How did Ryder convince his brother there were good days ahead? How did he tell Wyatt to have faith, when Ryder had been ignoring God for as long as he could remember?

“Yeah, it won't be easy. But he's got a whole community behind him here.” Clint reached for Red's reins. “Want me to hold him while you get your bull rope ready?”

“I guess if I'm going to ride a bull, I'd better get ready. You riding?”

Clint laughed. “No, I don't think so. We've got one
little girl and Willow found this little boy in Texas. He's three and hearing impaired.”