The Cowboy's Sweetheart (6 page)

He turned, smiling at Kat, and then Molly. His dog, Bear, was curled on the couch at her feet. As Ryder approached her side, Bear looked up, letting out a low growl. So, it had been that easy to steal the dog's loyalty? It just took being a little girl with big eyes.

“Bear, enough.” At the warning, the dog's stub tail thumped the leather sofa.

Molly's eyes watered. Ryder sat down on the coffee table, facing her. “How about a drink of water?”

She nodded and sat up, still dressed in her nightgown with a princess on the front. His heart filled up in a way he'd never experienced. And then it ducked for cover, because this couldn't be his life.

Movement behind him. He turned and Andie was sitting in the rocking chair, Kat held against her. If Wyatt was running, he should have taken Ryder with him.

“Is her forehead hot?” Andie asked, her voice soft, comforting. He'd never heard it like that, as if she al ready knew how to be a mom.

Maybe women were that way? Maybe they had that natural instinct, and only men had to wonder and
worry that they'd never get it right. The way he was worrying.

He touched Molly's head. “Pretty hot.” He winked at the little girl as she curled back into her blanket, his dog curling into the bend of her knees.

“Maybe get a cool, wet cloth?” Andie shrugged. “I really don't have a clue, but it could be a while before Wyatt gets back and maybe cool water would bring her temperature down. We could call Etta.”

“Wyatt will come back.” Ryder cleared his throat. “I mean, he'll be back soon. It doesn't take that long to drive into Grove.”

“Right.” She was still holding Kat, her fingers stroking the little girl's brown hair. “Do you have a brush? Her hair's kind of scraggly.”

He stood up. “I'll get a wet cloth for Molly and a brush for Kat.”

When he walked back into the room, Molly was dozing and Kat had found a book for Andie to read. The two of them were cuddled in his big chair, Andie's bare feet on the ottoman.

His throat tightened and he looked away, because it was a lot easier to deal with Molly and not the crazy thoughts going through his mind.

 

Wyatt came back.

Andie breathed a sigh of relief when he walked through the door an hour later. He had a bag of medication and two stuffed animals. He avoided looking at her, and at Ryder. She wondered if he had thought about not coming back.

How did a person go on when the person they had loved the most, the one they had promised to cherish
and protect, took their own life? She couldn't imagine his emotions, the loss, the guilt and the questions.

The questions about her mother leaving didn't begin to compare to what Wyatt must be asking himself every single day. She wanted to tell him he couldn't have stopped it. She wanted to tell him that people make choices, and when they're making those choices they aren't always thinking about how the ones left behind will feel. Wendy wouldn't have wanted to hurt him, or her daughters.

It wasn't her place. She and Wyatt had never been close. He'd been older, wiser and never up for any of her and Ryder's crazy antics.

She shifted and he moved, as if he had just noticed her. Kat had fallen asleep in her arms and Molly was sleeping on the couch. Andie looked at Ryder. Without words, he took the sleeping child from her arms and placed her on the opposite end of the couch from her sister.

Bear hopped down, looking offended the way only a dog can.

“We should get you back before Rob gets there to shoe those horses.” Ryder had walked to the door. His gaze settled first on the girls and then on Wyatt. “Need anything before we go?”

“No, we're fine. Thanks for watching them.”

“No problem. Call if you need me.”

As they walked out to the truck, Andie slowed her pace.

“Do you think he'll be okay?” She glanced back at the house. Ryder followed the direction of her gaze and shrugged.

“I guess he will. What else can he do?”

“I guess you're right. But I can't imagine…”

“Yeah, I know.”

His hand reached for hers. Andie didn't say anything. She walked next to him, his fingers tightly laced through hers. When they got to the truck he squeezed lightly and then let go. His hand was on the door handle, but he didn't open it.

Andie reached to do it herself, but he stopped her.

“Andie, we're going to figure this out. I don't know how, but we will. I guess we'll do it the way we've al ways faced everything else—together.”

She nodded, but her eyes were swimming and she just wanted him to hold her hand again. She didn't want to feel alone. His words had taken away a little of that feeling and replaced it with hope. Maybe they would survive this.

“We should go.” Andie glanced away, but Ryder touched her cheek, drawing her attention back to him, forcing her to meet his gaze. She stared up at him, at lean, suntanned cheeks and a smile that curved into something delicious and tempting.

That smile was her downfall. She should turn away and not think about her life in terms of being in Ryder's life. She should definitely look away. But his eyes were dark and pulled her in.

“We should definitely go,” she repeated, whispering this time.

“I know, but there's one thing we need to do before we leave.”

He leaned, his hand still on her cheek. Her fingers slipped off the chrome door handle to rest on his arm.

His lips touched hers in a gesture that was sweet and disarming. His hand moved from her cheek to the back of her neck and he paused in the kiss to rest his forehead against hers.

Andie gathered her senses, because she couldn't let her heart go there, not in the direction it wanted to go.

“We shouldn't have gone there.” She broke the connection and reached for the door handle. This time he opened it for her.

“Andie, at least give me a chance to figure this all out before you give up on me.”

“I've never given up on you.” She touched his arm. “But I can't be distracted, Ryder. I have to make the right decisions, now more than ever.”

“And you think turning down my proposal was the right decision?”

“Yeah, right now it is. It was sweet of you, really it was, but it was spur-of-the-moment and this is something that we should take time to think about.”

Spur-of-the-moment was definitely a bad idea.

A
ndie walked through the glass doors of the women's health clinic the next morning and she couldn't deny that her stomach was doing crazy flips and her palms were sweating. This time it was a good old case of nerves and not morning sickness. She rubbed her hands down the sides of her jeans and ignored the cautious look Ryder shot her as they walked across the granite-tiled lobby.

“We could skip this. I mean, the test is probably right.”

Ryder laughed a little as he pushed the button on the elevator. “Right, we already know, so why bother with a doctor? I mean, who needs help delivering a kid into the world?”

Every word spiked into her heart.
Delivering. Kid. World.
This baby wasn't going to stay inside her, where it was safe, where it was a thought, something in the future. It would come kicking and screaming into her life. If Etta's calculations were correct, it would happen in May. Spring.

Andie wouldn't be riding for a world title any time soon.

But with the life growing inside of her, that couldn't
be her focus. Her old plans were being replaced by new ones. Etta was looking at paint samples and fabric for baby quilts.

It was a little soon for that.

They got off the elevator at the third floor. Andie stood in the wide corridor, staring at Suite 10. Another couple stepped off the second elevator, smiling, holding hands. The other woman's belly was round and her eyes were shining with anticipation. And Andie didn't know how to reach for Ryder's hand, or how to make this about a happy future for the two of them. The three of them.

Her own belly was still flat. Her jeans still fit. Other than nausea in the morning and a positive sign on a stick, this didn't seem real. But it was.

At least Ryder was with her. Of course he was. She knew him well enough to know that he wasn't going to let her go through this alone. He just wasn't going to be the person with adoration in his eyes, holding her hand and telling her he'd always be there for her.

He'd never been that person for anyone. She knew him, knew that he'd worked hard at never letting himself get too involved. He didn't even want kids.

That was one thought she wished she would have blocked. Too late, though, because it had obviously already been swimming around in her mind.

“We're going to be late.” Ryder reached for the door and glanced back at her. “Andie, you coming with me? I'm pretty sure this doctor doesn't want to examine me.”

She tried to smile. “I'm coming.”

They stepped into a prenatal world of soft colors, relaxing music and mothers-to-be reading magazines as they waited. The bad case of nervousness she was already experiencing went into overdrive. It was bad
enough to make her reach for Ryder's hand, tugging him close.

“Relax.” He walked with her to the counter. The receptionist smiled up at him. He grinned with that wicked Ryder charm that had kept girls following him since kindergarten. “Andie Forester. We have an appointment.”

“Right. Here's the paperwork for new patients, Mr. Forester.” The young woman handed over a clipboard with a pen and a stack of papers to be filled out.

Ryder turned, handing Andie the clipboard. “There you go, Mrs. Forester.”

She smacked him with the clipboard. “You're horrible.”

He winked. “Yeah, I work at it. But you're color is coming back, so that's a plus.”

She walked away from him and he followed. When she sat down in a corner, as far away from other patients as she could get, he sat down next to her. He crossed his right leg over his left knee and leaned back in the chair that had to be one of the most uncomfortable she'd ever sat in.

While she filled out paperwork, he flipped through magazines, giggling a little bit like a junior-high kid with the lingerie catalogue. She shot him a dirty look and he didn't even manage to look contrite.

Thirty minutes later, Andie walked through the doors of the exam room, alone. Other women had taken their husbands, the father's of their babies. Ryder wasn't her husband. And she couldn't face this with him.

She didn't know how to face it without him. She sat down on the examining table and waited for the doctor. And she waited. She glanced at her watch and groaned,
it was way past noon. No wonder she was getting shaky. Baby needed to eat. An OB should know that.

The door opened. Andie's hands were shaking. She twirled them in the robe she'd been told to wear by the nurse who had made a brief stop some thirty minutes earlier.

“Sorry, had an emergency.” Dr. Mark looked down at his file. “Good news. You're pregnant.”

He said it with a happy smile that faded when he looked at her face.

“That is good news, isn't it?” he asked, pushing his glasses to the top of his head. His hair was blond and thinning, his smile was kind and fatherly. She liked him.

“It is.” She bit down on her lip, trying to stop the trembling. “I'm sorry. It's not really a surprise. You can't be sick for days on end and really be shocked by the news that you're pregnant.”

“But it isn't something you planned. I'm assuming it is something you plan to keep?”

Heat rushed to her cheeks. She'd never thought of anything other than keeping this baby. Her baby. She blinked a few times.

“Of course I'm keeping my baby.”

“Of course.” He smiled and sat down. “I'm going to do a quick exam, but first we'll do an ultrasound. If the father is here, he can come back…”

“No, he can't. I mean. This isn't what either of us planned. We're not, we're not in a relationship.”

It sounded pathetic. Not in a relationship, but having a baby. She buried her face in her hands and waited for her cheeks to cool to their normal temperature.

“This doesn't have to be the end of the world.” Dr. Mark patted her arm. “It's a different path than you
probably had planned for yourself. It's going to take some adjusting, to make this work out. But I think you can do it.”

Andie looked up, meeting eyes that were kind, with crinkled lines of age and experience at the corners.

“Yeah, I know I can make it.”

She wanted to ask him what he thought about God. She had developed a new relationship with God, and then she'd realized she was pregnant. Some people might think the baby pushed her back into church. But it had been her own feelings, her own desire to have that connection that had taken her to that service.

The baby hadn't pushed her there.

“Andie, if you need someone to talk to…”

She shook her head. “I'm fine, really. It's just a lot to adjust to.”

She put on a big smile, to prove to him, and maybe to herself, that she was okay.

“Okay then, let's go for that ultrasound. Down the hall, second door on the left. I'll be right there. And we'll take a picture for dad. We don't want him to miss out on everything.”

Right. She nodded and hopped down from the table.

“What about activity. I mean, horseback riding? Work?”

“Within reason you can continue activities that you've been doing on a regular basis. Of course you don't want to do anything strenuous, or dangerous.”

“Got it.” She walked out, down the hall to the room he'd directed her to. Alone.

She was going to see her baby, or what would soon be her baby, and she wished someone was there with her. She wished Etta had come with her. She wished
Ryder had insisted. If he had pushed… She shook off that thought, because she shouldn't make him push.

Instead of having someone with her, she walked into a darkened room alone and a nurse helped her onto the bed.

A few minutes later she raised her head and watched the screen, saw the beating heart of her baby and she cried. Dr. Mark handed her a tissue.

“A healthy heart.” He removed the ultrasound and the nurse wiped her belly. “Here's your baby's first picture.”

Andie took the black-and-white photo, her fingers trembling as she held it up and looked at something that really looked like nothing. Except for that beating heart. Proof that her baby was alive. She couldn't wait to show Etta, and to call Alyson. She didn't want to think about Ryder. Not yet.

“Now remember what I said—make an appointment for one month from today with my colleague near Grove, Dr. Ashford. That'll be a lot easier than driving to Tulsa.” Dr. Mark opened the door for her. “And try not to worry. Things have a way of working out for the best.”

She nodded and tried not to attach his words of wisdom to the verse that all things work together for good. For those who trust. She had to trust. She had to believe that God would take what she had done on a night when she hadn't been thinking about Him, or trusting Him, and He would work it out for her good.

But one question kept running through her mind. Why should He?

When she walked into the waiting room, Ryder was there. He wasn't relaxed. He wasn't reading a book. He
was pacing. She smiled and watched, because he hadn't seen her yet.

He had dressed up for the occasion, wearing jeans that weren't so faded and boots that weren't scuffed. He'd gotten a haircut. For a moment, that moment, he looked like someone's dad. He turned, barely smiling when he saw her. She held up the picture.

Because it wasn't her baby, it was theirs.

 

Ryder couldn't remember a time in his life that he'd been this nervous. And he had a pretty good feeling it was only going to get worse. For over an hour he'd been watching other women, other couples. A few couples had new babies with them.

That was going to be his life. Andie was going to get a round belly. She would need help getting up from a chair, like a couple of the women who were obviously farther along. Their husbands had helped them up, and held their hands as they walked back to the examining rooms.

He'd never seen himself as one of those men. Man, he'd never even seen himself standing next to a woman, not in his craziest dreams.

He didn't even know how to hold a baby.

Andie walked toward him, her cheeks flushed and that picture in her hand. He'd never seen her so unsure. At least he wasn't alone in his feelings.

“This is our baby.” She handed him the picture. In a few months she wouldn't be wearing jeans. He tried to picture her in maternity clothes, pastel colors and with her feet swollen.

She'd hit him if she knew what direction his thoughts were taking. If she knew that he'd been thinking about
being there when the baby was born and what they'd name it.

“Is it a boy or a girl?” He held the picture up and tried to decipher the dot that she insisted was their kid. “Are you sure that's a baby? Looks like a tadpole to me.”

She laughed. “That's a baby. And we won't know what it is for a few months.”

“Wow.” He shook his head and looked at the picture again. “We're going to be parents.”

“Yeah, we are.”

It became real at that moment, with her next to him in a doctor's office. Andie was going to have his baby.

He slipped his arm around her waist and pulled her close, because how could he not. It felt like what a guy had to do when he found out he was going to be a dad. He hadn't expected it, that jolt of excitement, that paternal surge of protectiveness.

Five minutes ago he'd been full of regrets, full of fear, full of doubt. He still was, but a picture of a heart beating, that had to change something.

“Stop.” Andie pulled loose. “You're making me nervous.”

“Sorry.”

“I forgive you, but you have to feed me.”

He got it. And he had to stop acting like she was someone other than Andie. He wondered how they did that, how they acted like they had acted for the past twenty-five years.

“When do we come back?” He asked as they walked out the doors of the clinic, into warm autumn sunshine.

“We don't. I visit Dr. Ashford in a month. She's at the Lakeside Women's Clinic.”

“I want to go with you.”

“Ryder, please stop. You don't have to do this.”

He stopped walking. People moved past them and around them. Andie kept moving so he hurried to catch up with her, to walk across the parking lot at her side.

“I don't know why you're pushing me away.” He pulled the keys out of his pocket and pushed the button. “Andie, we have to face this. It isn't going away.”

“I know it isn't going away. But I don't want to feel like you're tied to me, knowing you'd rather be anywhere but here. This isn't who you are. This isn't who we are.”

“Who are we then?”

“You're you. You're single and you love your life. And I ride barrel horses and live with my granny. That's our lives. This, having a baby, being parents together, this isn't us.”

He didn't laugh at her because he'd been reading those magazines in the waiting room and he now knew all about hormones, estrogen, cravings and labor. A few months ago those had been words he wouldn't have even thought to himself. He thought he might have information overload, received after more than an hour of reading prenatal articles.

Stretch marks, whether to medicate during labor or not, natural delivery verses C-section. He wanted the words to go away.

Anyway, he knew better than to laugh at a pregnant woman with surging hormones. She'd either cry hysterically or hurt him. And he wasn't much into either of those options.

He wasn't about to tell her that he'd much rather be at a rodeo than facing her right then. At least he knew what to expect at a rodeo, on the back of a horse, or on
the back of a bull. For the time being he had to think that those days were behind him.

That meant he had to come up with something that would placate her until they could deal with this.

Cravings. The word was now his friend.

“What do you want to eat?”

Her blue eyes melted a little and she sniffled. He didn't have a handkerchief.