The Cowboy's Sweetheart (14 page)

“Let's see if we can get her on her feet.” Adam grabbed the rope that Ryder had used to pull the calf. It was soaked and muddy. “What do you think?”

Ryder shrugged, so did Clint. Clint took the rope and put it around the cow's neck. Ryder was dealing with a calf that now thought he must be mommy. It was sucking at his jeans and at the hem of this T-shirt. It would have been cute if buckets of rain hadn't been falling on them and the momma cow hadn't been on her side in a puddle of water.

They were heaving on the cow when Andie came traipsing across the yard again.

“What are you doing up?” Ryder was in the process of sliding a rope under the cow's middle.

She stopped at the fence and watched. “I had to check on her because I know you aren't going to tell me everything.”

“Andie, you have to get back on the porch. If Etta comes home and you're standing down here in the rain…” He stopped. “You know, it doesn't matter what Etta is going to say. You're an adult and you know better.”

“Tell me how she is.”

“She's going to die if we don't get her up.”

“Ryder.” Clint's voice was a little softer and Ryder thought that had to be Willow's influence. When had Clint Cameron ever been the guy with the soft touch. “Andie, we'll get her up and if we can get her in the trailer on my truck, I'll take her home and work with
her. We'll get her back on her feet. You might have to bottle feed that calf, though.”

“Thanks, Clint.” Andie shot Ryder a smug smile. “Now I'll go sit back down. Just consider this my shower for the day.”

Ryder watched her go. Rain was pouring down, and a crack of thunder gave him the motivation he needed to kick it up a notch. He had no desire to be standing under this tree when lightning hit.

Clint pulled on the rope, heaving and out of breath and Adam helped Ryder push the back end of the cow as she fought to get up.

She was finally on her feet.

“Let's take her out this corner gate right to the trailer.” Clint leaned to catch his breath.

“We can take her to my place.” Ryder didn't have his trailer, but they could put her in Andie's.

“Ryder, you have enough going on right now with Wyatt at your house and Andie needing you here. Let us do this one for you.”

“I can manage.”

“I didn't say you couldn't.” Clint pounded him on the back. “But I'd say you've got your plate pretty full right now. And the next few months aren't going to get any easier.”

“That's great to know.”

Clint laughed, but he was still working, still moving the cow and working with her. “Yeah, well, that's how life is. When you think you've got it all figured out and think you know your next move, God surprises you with something huge. But seriously, it's about time you and Andie realized what the rest of us have known forever.”

“Known?” He'd never had such a hard time forming sentences.

“Yeah, known.” Clint shot him a look like he really should be getting it. “You and Andie haven't been far from each other's side in years. And when you thought Reese hurt her, you broke his nose.”

“He deserved that.”

“Yeah, he probably did.” Clint led the cow a few wobbly steps toward the gate that Adam had opened. “But most guys wouldn't bust their buddy's nose for just any girl.”

“She's…” He wasn't going to get baited into this conversation. Clint and Adam shot one another knowing looks and Ryder decided to ignore them. The odds of him taking the two of them were pretty slim, so it made sense to load the cow and forget this conversation.

He walked away from Clint's trailer telling himself that this was just part of his new life. Every guy in town was dating, getting married or recently married. And they didn't want to suffer alone.

Andie reheated Ryder's cheeseburger up while he changed out of his T-shirt into a button up shirt he found behind the seat of his truck. When she heard him coming down the hall she poured a cup of coffee and sat it next to the plate.

Domestic. She'd never been one of those females, the kind that loved to cook and clean. She could make a decent burger or pancakes, she could brew pretty terrific coffee, but she had never seen herself as June Cleaver or Martha Stewart.

Ryder walked into the kitchen, stopping at the door. He eyed her, eyes on the meal and the coffee, and then back to her. She ignored him and poured herself a glass of milk, because she'd had her cup of coffee already.

“You should be sitting down. I could have done this. I could have made coffee.” He didn't sit down.

“I wanted to do something for you. You've been doing everything for me for the past couple of weeks.”

“That's because you've needed me to be that person, Andie. There's been plenty of times you've taken care of me.”

“Yeah, but this is just not right, all of this sitting and letting people wait on me.”

“You're not doing it because you're lazy. You're taking care of our baby. And I'm taking care of you.” He pointed to the hall and she knew what that meant. “Back to the parlor, sweetie.”

She grabbed her milk and walked past him down the hall. He followed a few minutes later with his coffee and plate of food. When he walked through the door she was back on the couch, her feet up, the pillow over her face.

He had the nerve to laugh.

She tossed the pillow at the end of the sofa. “You think this is funny?”

“I think you're suddenly a drama queen and you're not very good at it.”

“How's my cow?”

“Clint thinks he can save her. You know how it is, Andie. She's in bad shape. The calf drank, though. We got some colostrum for him and added it to the milk replacer in the bottle.”

“Thank you.” She hugged a pillow to her stomach. “I'm sorry I had to call you.”

“I'm not.” He finished his burger and set the plate down. “Now, tell me what I can get you? Chocolate? Books? Something to drink?”

“Nothing.” She pointed to the obvious. “I have books.
I have magazines. I have the TV remote. The only thing I don't have is my life. I shouldn't resent that, should I?”

“I think it's probably natural.”

“I don't want this baby to feel resented. What if she can feel it now, that I'm sick of sitting. I don't blame her, though. This is my fault. This whole pregnancy is my fault. You didn't ask for this to happen to you. If it wasn't for me, you'd be on your way to Vegas to the finals.”

“Andie, I'm not blaming you. And this pregnancy isn't your fault. We, I think that's how this works. I made a decision to stay here. This is where I need to be. The finals aren't that important.”

“Right. And you'll never resent that a night with me changed your life? This is exactly what we were worried would happen. We can't go back to being friends. I'm not even sure if we can go back to being us.”

He moved to the table, the place that had become his in the past couple of weeks. She met his gaze, the dark eyes that always looked at her as if he knew her better than anyone else knew her.

“Andie, we'll make this work. We'll deal with it.”

“Right, that's what we'll do, deal with it.” She leaned back away from him, against the cushioned arm of the sofa and she closed her eyes. “I need to take a nap. That's one of the symptoms of the first trimester of pregnancy, being tired.”

“I'm not leaving.”

He got up and moved to the cushioned rocking chair a short distance away. He looked out of place in Etta's parlor and in that prissy chair. She smiled, watching him try to get comfortable. He stretched jean-clad legs in front of him and crossed his legs at the ankles. His
hat was low over his eyes and he crossed his arms in front of him.

She was the one needing a nap and he'd probably be asleep long before her. If she even fell asleep. Mostly she wanted an excuse to stop talking about their lives and how everything had changed.

One thing hadn't changed. She loved Ryder. But Ryder thought she was nothing more than his best friend.

And the mother of his baby.

S
omething woke Andie up. A bad dream? A bad feeling. She turned and she was on the edge of the sofa. She moved back to keep from falling off. It took her a minute to put it all together, to remember that it was Tuesday and Etta was in Tulsa with Alyson. She sought the person who had been there with her when she fell asleep.

Ryder was still in the rocking chair. His head was bent forward, his hat covering his face. Soft snores drifted across the room. She smiled and curled back into the blanket that hadn't been on her when she fell asleep. And she tried not to think about it, about him hovering over her, covering her with the afghan that had been folded at the other end of the sofa.

Pain slid through her abdomen, catching her by surprise, taking her breath.

That's what had awoken her. It hadn't been a dream. It hadn't been just a bad feeling. She rubbed her belly and waited for it to end. It didn't. The cramping wrapped around her lower abdomen and held on.

“No,” she whispered but it woke Ryder.

“What?” His voice was groggy his eyes a little foggy from sleep.

She needed a minute, just a minute to get her thoughts straight.

“I'm cramping again.” She met his gaze and his brow furrowed. “It's my fault for going out to check on the cow.”

“We left you here alone. I should have stayed with you.” He stood. “We aren't going to sit and talk about this being someone's fault. We don't know what this is, or even if there's something that could be done to stop it.”

“I know.” Her heart tightened with dread, because she knew that there was nothing a doctor could do, not at this stage in her pregnancy.

He grabbed her shoes and a jacket that she'd left on the other chair. “Come on, let's go.”

“Go?”

“To the E.R. Andie, we're not going to sit here and do nothing. We'll call Etta on our way.”

“I don't want to call Etta. Alyson deserves to have this day without me interfering.”

“Alyson would want you to interfere if…”

If she lost the baby. Andie slid her feet into the shoes he set on the floor for her and then she let him hold the sweater for her to slide her arms into the sleeves. They felt like a couple. She closed her eyes against another sharp wave of pain, and a similar one that invaded her heart that asked her what became of them tomorrow.

“I don't want to lose my baby.” She looked up at him, not wanting to need him, but she did.

He sat down on the sofa with her. He touched her cheek and turned her to face him. “I know.”

His kiss was sweet, gentle, and it made her feel strong.
It made her feel loved. And she knew that wasn't what he meant to do with that kiss. She sighed into his shoulder and he hugged her close.

“Let's go, Andie.”

She walked out the door at his side, her hand on her belly, her baby still safe inside her. And thoughts invaded, because she knew that when she returned to this house, everything might be different. The last thing she saw was the pile of clothes on the table next to the door, the little baby clothes that Etta had found in the attic, and an afghan that Andie's mom had tried to crochet years ago—when Andie was a baby.

The E.R. was bustling with late afternoon activity. Rush hour in Grove always resulted in plenty of minor fend-benders the nurse informed them as they got Andie settled in a bed.

“You can't leave me this time.” Andie waited until the nurse left and then she grabbed Ryder's hands. “Don't leave me.”

“I'm not going anywhere.”

“Please, don't be angry with me.”

He sat down on the edge of the bed. “I'm not angry, Andie, I'm worried. This is my baby, too.”

“I know.”

“Do you? Because sometimes you act like you're in this alone. And you're not. We were both surprised by this, but I'm no less invested in this pregnancy than you are.” His voice cracked. “That's my kid. It isn't something I planned, but after a couple of weeks, a guy starts to get used to the idea.”

“I'm so afraid that this is God's way of punishing me.”

He rubbed his thumb over her fingers. “Andie, you thought being pregnant was punishment. Now you think
God's punishing you with problems. Why? Do you think God is sitting up there waiting for you and you alone to mess up so He can come up with new ways to punish you?”

“Consequences?”

“Yeah, okay, consequences. But you're wrong about this.” He leaned close, touching her cheek. “Your whole life you've worried about being good enough. That's your mom's fault. And your fault for blaming yourself for her skipping out on you.”

“If I'd been easier…” She choked on sobs that came in waves and Ryder grabbed her up and held her close.

“She messed up, not you.”

“How does a mom walk out on a kid?” She leaned into his shoulder and all of the pain of her childhood came out, all of the feelings of being defective. Ryder held her tight, rubbing her back.

“You're not your mom.”

“No, I'm not.” She wiped at her eyes and moved away from him. “But if I lose the baby, you're off the hook.”

“Oh, so now I'm your mom?”

“I don't know, Ryder. I don't even know what I'm feeling right now.” More tears rolled down her cheeks and this time Ryder didn't hold her. “This could be the last day that I'm pregnant.”

“I choose to have some faith, Andie. So, I'm not going to play this game with you.”

The curtain opened and Dr. Ashford walked in. Ryder moved off the edge of the bed as the doctor washed her hands and pulled gloves out of the box on the table next to the bed.

“When did this start?” Dr. Ashford glanced at
the curtain and motioned a tech into the room with a portable ultrasound.

“An hour or so. I woke up and was cramping then.”

“Have you been staying down?”

“As much as possible. I had a cow get down today.”

“She called me.” Ryder shot her a look. “Andie, you walked out into the yard and then back to the house. This isn't your fault.”

Dr. Ashford smiled at him and then turned her attention back to Andie. “He's right. Now isn't the time to blame yourself. Now is the time to see what's going on. Any bleeding?”

Ryder stood up. “I'll wait outside.”

“No. And, Ryder, stay. I don't want to be alone.”

He sat back down. “I'll stay for the ultrasound.”

Dr. Ashford slid a heart monitor over her belly and smiled.

“There's that heartbeat.” She paused, frowned and moved it again. “Oh.”

“What?” Andie's heart squeezed painfully and she watched, waiting for Dr. Ashford to smile, to say something.

“Let's get that ultrasound in here before I make any big announcements.”

Andie leaned, waiting. And praying. Because she needed faith. And she needed God. She wasn't going to believe lies that she was being punished or tossed aside because she wasn't good enough. Old wounds. She tried to tell herself it was time to let them heal. It wasn't easy.

Dr. Ashford squeezed cold gel on her belly and reached for the ultrasound. The tech stood back as the doctor moved the gizmo over her belly, finding the baby,
settling on the heartbeat. The doctor nodded and moved the ultrasound a little to the right. Another heartbeat.

“You're a twin, aren't you?”

“Yes.” Her heartbeat was echoing in her ears, beating in unison with the two heartbeats on the ultrasound.

“Andie, you're having twins.”

“But there was only one.”

“Yes, well, there wasn't only one, but we didn't hear baby number two the last time we checked.”

“But they're okay?”

“Andie, they seem to be very okay. I want to do a blood test and keep you here tonight.”

“Here, in the hospital?”

“For the night, yes.”

Andie's body trembled and she reached for Ryder. His hand tightened around hers.

“Andie, we're having twins.” His voice shook a little.

Two babies. Her life had changed, and then changed again. She looked at Ryder, and to her, he looked a little cornered. And that wasn't what she wanted.

She didn't want him stuck somewhere he didn't want to be, including in a relationship he never planned to have.

 

Dr Ashford left them alone. She was going to arrange for Andie to have a room for the night, and she thought they might need to catch their breath. She made the last comment with a smile as she walked out the door.

Ryder whistled a lot whistle. “Wow, this it. Not only are we going to do this, but we're going to have twins.”

“I'm sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing? Andie, we've talked about this. I'm a part of this. I'm the dad. You aren't having a baby, we are having a baby. Two babies.”

“Exactly. The guy who didn't want to get married or have kids is now going to have two.”

“I know.” He sat back in the chair and tried to think about that. “You're going to be on bed rest for a big part of the next seven months.”

“Dr. Ashford didn't say that.”

“No, but that's the way it works.”

“Stop.”

He stopped. He knew when a woman was at the end of the emotional rope swing and about to go off. Andie was dangling.

“We have to get married.” He said it with as much conviction as he could, because it was going to take conviction to convince her.

“Excuse me?”

“Married, Andie. We can let Alyson and Jason have their day, but I think we should plan on a Christmas wedding.”

“Haven't I already told you no, twice?”

“Yeah, but…”

“But we don't even know yet that the babies are okay. Have you thought of that? Have you thought about putting that ring on my finger and then…”

She could lose the babies.

Of course he hadn't let his thoughts go there. He was a little upset that she would. And he told her so as he stood up.

“Andie, you're emotional. I guess I'm pretty emotional right now, too. But this is crazy. Those babies deserve for us to be married.”

“I don't want a proposal that's prefixed with ‘this is the right thing to do.' Ryder, just go.”

“Go?”

Dr. Ashford walked into the room. “Problem, kids?”

“No, no problem.” Ryder grabbed his hat. “Her grandmother will be here in an hour.”

“Oh, okay.”

As Ryder started his truck, his better self told him to go back and wait. But he couldn't. He was so mad at Andie, he knew he'd say the wrong thing if he stayed. She didn't need that right now. He didn't know what she needed. Definitely not anything he could give.

He'd done his best. He'd proposed three times.

He should have at least stayed to make sure everything was okay after the blood test. But he'd seen the babies, seen their hearts beating. Two of them.

That took a guy some time to adjust to. Two beds. Two ponies. Two frilly pink dresses and two infant carriers in the back of his truck.

Maybe she was right. He wasn't ready for this. He'd been doing the right thing, or what he thought was right, by proposing. But was that really the best thing for them, and for the babies?

 

Andie was in a darkened hospital room alone when Etta walked through the door, smiling like summer sunshine. Andie looked up, trying to smile back. She'd never felt less like smiling in her life.

She'd chased Ryder out of her room and she was afraid she'd chased him out of her life. But it was for the best. She didn't want him tied to her by guilt.

“Sugar bug, what in the world is going on? I went to
the E.R., but they said you'd been moved up here and they didn't know anything.”

“Dr. Ashford wants me to stay a night or two, just to keep an eye on the, on the…” she sobbed “…babies.”

“Babies?”

“As in two. I was barely adjusting to the idea of one, and now there are going to be two. Two heartbeats, two little babies growing inside me.”

“Which explains a lot. Where's Ryder?”

“Home.” Andie pushed the button and raised the back of the bed.

“Now, I didn't expect that. He told me he'd wait with you, that he wouldn't think of leaving you alone.”

“Yeah, well.”

Etta set her yellow purse on the table next to the bed and poured a glass of water that she drank without offering it to Andie. Her lavender-and-gray hair was windblown and her red lipstick was smudged.

“Well, explain to me why Ryder went back on his word. Because Ryder usually keeps his word.”

Yes, Ryder did keep his word. And if he promised to be at her side forever, he'd be there. Even if it wasn't where he wanted to be.

“I told him to leave. I am not going to keep him hooked to my side this way. I'm not going to use this as a way to force him into my life.”

“Well now, that's new. I didn't know you wanted him in your life.”

“Not like this, I don't. I don't want proposals that start with ‘the right thing to do.' I want love.” Tears streamed down her cheeks. “I want frilly stinking dresses, fluffy dry cake with jam stuck between the layers and a lot of people crying and wiping their eyes with lace hankies.”

“Hormones.”

“Probably.” Andie took the hankie her granny dug out of her purse.

“You love Ryder. Andie, that's nothing to be ashamed of. It's been as clear as the nose on your face for as long as I can remember. It's just that you've spent a big part of your life playing it safe and pretending you were just his best friend.”

Because she kept him in her life that way. The one way to run Ryder off would have been to let him know how she felt. Ryder had always run from females who were looking for forever. He had good reasons, she told herself, even though she knew he was nothing like his dad. He was nothing like his mom.