The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (596 page)

CURTIS. By this reckoning he is more shrew than she.

By this account he is more unbearable than she is.

GRUMIO. Ay; and that thou and the proudest of you all shall find when he comes home. But what talk I of this? Call forth Nathaniel, Joseph, Nicholas, Philip, Walter, Sugarsop, and the rest; let their heads be sleekly combed, their blue coats brush'd and their garters of an indifferent knit; let them curtsy with their left legs, and not presume to touch a hair of my master's horse-tail till they kiss their hands. Are they all ready?

Yes; and you along with the best of you all will discover that when he comes home. But why am I still talking? Call Nathaniel, Joseph, Nicholas, Philip, Walter, Sugarsop, and the rest; let their heads be smoothly combed, their blue coats brushed and their garters matching; let them bow with their left legs, and not dare to touch a hair of my master's horse-tail until they kiss their hands. Are they all ready?

CURTIS. They are.

GRUMIO. Call them forth.

Call them to come here.

CURTIS. Do you hear? ho! You must meet my master to countenance my mistress.

Do you hear? Hey! You must meet my master and  countenance [get to know] my lady.

GRUMIO. Why, she hath a face of her own.

Why, she has a face [another meaning of 'countenance'] of her own.

CURTIS. Who knows not that?

Who doesn't know that?

GRUMIO. Thou, it seems, that calls for company to countenance her.  

You, it seems, that calls for company to 'countenance' her.

CURTIS. I call them forth to credit her.

I mean I want them to give her credit.

GRUMIO. Why, she comes to borrow nothing of them.

Why, she's not borrowing anything from them [he's thinking of 'credit' as in money].

[Enter several SERVANTS.]

NATHANIEL. Welcome home, Grumio!

PHILIP. How now, Grumio!

What's going on, Grumio?

JOSEPH. What, Grumio!

NICHOLAS. Fellow Grumio!

NATHANIEL. How now, old lad!

How are things, old man?

GRUMIO. Welcome, you; how now, you; what, you; fellow, you; and thus much for greeting. Now, my spruce companions, is all ready, and all things neat?

Welcome, you; what's going on, you; what, you; fellow, you; and so much for my greetings. Now, my well-groomed companions, is all ready, and all things neat?

NATHANIEL. All things is ready. How near is our master?

Everything's ready. How near is our master?

GRUMIO. E'en at hand, alighted by this; and therefore be not,-- Cock's passion, silence! I hear my master.

Almost here; and therefore do not be, -- My goodness, silence! I hear my master.

[Enter PETRUCHIO and KATHERINA.]

PETRUCHIO. Where be these knaves?

Where are these rascals?

What! no man at door

What?! No mat at the door

To hold my stirrup nor to take my horse?

Where is Nathaniel, Gregory, Philip?--

ALL SERVANTS. Here, here, sir; here, sir.

PETRUCHIO. Here, sir! here, sir! here, sir! here, sir! You logger-headed and unpolish'd grooms! What, no attendance? no regard? no duty? Where is the foolish knave I sent before?

Here, sir! here, sir! here, sir! here, sir! You softheaded and incapable grooms! What, no service? no respect? no duty? Where is the foolish rascal I sent before me?

GRUMIO. Here, sir; as foolish as I was before.

PETRUCHIO. You peasant swain! you whoreson malt-horse drudge!

You peasant child! You son of a prostitute, lowly servant!

Did I not bid thee meet me in the park,

Did I not order you to meet me outside,

And bring along these rascal knaves with thee?

And bring along these rascals with you?

GRUMIO. Nathaniel's coat, sir, was not fully made,

Nathaniel's coat, sir, was not finished,

And Gabriel's pumps were all unpink'd i' the heel;

And Gabriel's shoes were all worn at the heel;

There was no link to colour Peter's hat,

Peter's hat was lacking in color,

And Walter's dagger was not come from sheathing;

And Walter's dagger was stuck in its sheath;

There was none fine but Adam, Ralph, and Gregory;

None of them looked good except Adam, Ralph, and Gregory;

The rest were ragged, old, and beggarly;

The rest were ragged, old, and looked like beggars;

Yet, as they are, here are they come to meet you.

Yet, as they are, here they have come to meet you.

PETRUCHIO. Go, rascals, go and fetch my supper in.

Go, rascals, go and get my supper and bring it.

[Exeunt some of the SERVANTS.]

Where is the life that late I led? Where are those--?

Where is the life that I used to lead? Where are those --?

Sit down, Kate, and welcome. Soud, soud, soud, soud!

Sit down, Kate, and welcome. Come on, come on, come on, come on!

[Re-enter SERVANTS with supper.]

Why, when, I say?

--Nay, good sweet Kate, be merry.--

--
No, good sweet Kate, be cheerful.--

Off with my boots, you rogues! you villains! when?

Take off my boots, you rogues! you villains! when?

 It was the friar of orders grey,

It was a friar dressed in gray,

As he forth walked on his way:

As he walked off upon his way:

Out, you rogue! you pluck my foot awry:

Out, you rogue! You hurt my foot when you tugged:

[Strikes him.]

Take that, and mend the plucking off the other.

Take that, and do a better job pulling off the other.

Be merry, Kate. Some water, here; what, ho!

Cheer up, Kate. Some water here; hey!

Where's my spaniel Troilus?

Where's my dog Troilus?

Sirrah, get you hence

You, get yourself away

And bid my cousin Ferdinand come hither:

And tell my cousin Ferdinand to come here:

[Exit SERVANT.]

One, Kate, that you must kiss and be acquainted with.

Where are my slippers?

Shall I have some water?

Come, Kate, and wash, and welcome heartily.--

[SERVANT lets the ewer fall. PETRUCHIO strikes him.]

[SERVANT drops the jug. PETRUCHIO hits him.]

You whoreson villain! will you let it fall?

You son of a prostitute! Will you let it fall?

KATHERINA. Patience, I pray you; 'twas a fault unwilling.

Patience, I beg you; it was an accident.

PETRUCHIO. A whoreson, beetle-headed, flap-ear'd knave!

[A series of insults.]

Come, Kate, sit down; I know you have a stomach.

Come, Kate, sit down; I know you are hungry.

Will you give thanks, sweet Kate, or else shall I?--

Will you say grace, sweet Kate, or shall I instead? --

What's this? Mutton?

FIRST SERVANT. Ay.

Yes.

PETRUCHIO. Who brought it?

PETER. I.

PETRUCHIO. 'Tis burnt; and so is all the meat.

It's burnt; and so is all the food.

What dogs are these! Where is the rascal cook?

What dogs these people are! Where is the rascal cook?

How durst you, villains, bring it from the dresser,

How dare you, villains, bring it from the kitchen,

And serve it thus to me that love it not?

And serve it like this to me that hates it?

[Throws the meat, etc., at them.]

There, take it to you, trenchers, cups, and all.

There, take it to you, plates, cups, and all.

You heedless joltheads and unmanner'd slaves!

What! do you grumble? I'll be with you straight.

What! Do you complain? I'll show you.

KATHERINA. I pray you, husband, be not so disquiet;

I beg you, husband, do not be so upset;

The meat was well, if you were so contented.

The meat was all right, if you would put up with it.

PETRUCHIO. I tell thee, Kate, 'twas burnt and dried away,

I tell you, Kate, it was burnt and dried to nothing

And I expressly am forbid to touch it;

And I am particularly forbidden to touch it

For it engenders choler, planteth anger;

For it causes irritation, gives rise to anger;

And better 'twere that both of us did fast,

And it would be better if both of us went without food,

Since, of ourselves, ourselves are choleric,

Since, we ourselves are irritable people,

Than feed it with such over-roasted flesh.

That feed it with such overly cooked meat.

Be patient; to-morrow 't shall be mended.

Be patient; tomorrow it will be fixed.

And for this night we'll fast for company:

And as for tonight we'll go without food together;

Come, I will bring thee to thy bridal chamber.

Come, I will take you to your bedroom.

[Exeunt PETRUCHIO, KATHERINA, and CURTIS.]

NATHANIEL. Peter, didst ever see the like?

Peter, did you ever see anything like it?

PETER. He kills her in her own humour.

He's beating her at her own game.

[Re-enter CURTIS.]

GRUMIO. Where is he?

CURTIS. In her chamber, making a sermon of continency to her;

In her room, preaching about self-restraint to her;

And rails, and swears, and rates, that she, poor soul,

And yells, and swears, and stamps, so that she, poor soul,

Knows not which way to stand, to look, to speak,

Does not know which way to stand, to look, to speak,

And sits as one new risen from a dream.

And sits as one just awake from a dream.

Away, away! for he is coming hither.