The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (874 page)

Re-enter ROSENCRANTZ and GUILDENSTERN

Gentlemen, both of you go find some people to help Hamlet. Out of his madness, he has killed Polonius. Now he is dragging the body out of his mother’s bedroom. Go speak to him and bring the body to the church. Hurry, please.

Friends both, go join you with some further aid:Hamlet in madness hath Polonius slain,And from his mother's closet hath he dragg'd him:Go seek him out; speak fair, and bring the bodyInto the chapel. I pray you, haste in this.

Exeunt ROSENCRANTZ and GUILDENSTERN

Come on, Gertrude, we’ll get our wisest friends to let them know what we are doing and what has been done. Let’s go! My soul is heavy.

Come, Gertrude, we'll call up our wisest friends;And let them know, both what we mean to do,And what's untimely done. O, come away!My soul is full of discord and dismay.

Exeunt

Another room in the castle

Enter HAMLET

HAMLET

There, the body is safely stowed away.

Safely stowed.

ROSENCRANTZ:
GUILDENSTERN:

[Within]

Hamlet! Lord Hamlet!

Hamlet! Lord Hamlet!

HAMLET

What is that noise? Who is calling me? Here they come.

What noise? who calls on Hamlet?O, here they come.

Enter ROSENCRANTZ and GUILDENSTERN

ROSENCRANTZ

What have you done with the body, my lord?

What have you done, my lord, with the dead body?

HAMLET

Put it in the dirt.

Compounded it with dust, whereto 'tis kin.

ROSENCRANTZ

Tell us where it is so we can take it to the church.

Tell us where 'tis, that we may take it thenceAnd bear it to the chapel.

HAMLET

I don’t believe it.

Do not believe it.

ROSENCRANTZ

Believe what?

Believe what?

HAMLET

That I can trust you and expose my secret. Besides, who are you, a mere sponge, to command the son of a king?

That I can keep your counsel and not mine own.Besides, to be demanded of a sponge! whatreplication should be made by the son of a king?

ROSENCRANTZ

You think I am a sponge, my lord?

Take you me for a sponge, my lord?

HAMLET

Yes sir, that soaks up whatever the king says and does. He is just using you and when he is done, you will be left high and dry.

Ay, sir, that soaks up the king's countenance, hisrewards, his authorities. But such officers do theking best service in the end: he keeps them, likean ape, in the corner of his jaw; first mouthed, tobe last swallowed: when he needs what you havegleaned, it is but squeezing you, and, sponge, youshall be dry again.

ROSENCRANTZ

I don’t understand, my lord.

I understand you not, my lord.

HAMLET

I am glad. You are too foolish to understand.

I am glad of it: a knavish speech sleeps in afoolish ear.

ROSENCRANTZ

My lord, you must tell us where the body is and go with us to the king.

My lord, you must tell us where the body is, and gowith us to the king.

HAMLET

The body is with the king, but he is not there. The king is just a thing…

The body is with the king, but the king is not withthe body. The king is a thing--

GUILDENSTERN

A thing, my lord!

A thing, my lord!

HAMLET

He is a thing of no importance. Take me to him and tell him to hide.

Of nothing: bring me to him. Hide fox, and all after.

Exeunt

Another room in the castle

Enter KING CLAUDIUS, attended

KING CLAUDIUS

I have sent someone to find him and bring back the body. He is dangerous on the loose. But, we can’t put the law on him too strongly. He’s very loved by the people, and they will not take too kindly to his punishment. The only way to handle this is to send him away. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

I have sent to seek him, and to find the body.How dangerous is it that this man goes loose!Yet must not we put the strong law on him:He's loved of the distracted multitude,Who like not in their judgment, but their eyes;And where tis so, the offender's scourge is weigh'd,But never the offence. To bear all smooth and even,This sudden sending him away must seemDeliberate pause: diseases desperate grownBy desperate appliance are relieved,Or not at all.

Enter ROSENCRANTZ

What’s going on?

How now! what hath befall'n?

ROSENCRANTZ

He won’t tell us where the body is hidden.

Where the dead body is bestow'd, my lord,We cannot get from him.

KING CLAUDIUS

Where is he?

But where is he?

ROSENCRANTZ

He is being guarded outside.

Without, my lord; guarded, to know your pleasure.

KING CLAUDIUS

Bring him here.

Bring him before us.

ROSENCRANTZ

Hey, Guildenstern! Bring in my lord.

Ho, Guildenstern! bring in my lord.

Enter HAMLET and GUILDENSTERN

KING CLAUDIUS

Now, Hamlet, where’s Polonius?

Now, Hamlet, where's Polonius?

HAMLET

He is at supper.

At supper.

KING CLAUDIUS

Where at supper?

At supper! where?

HAMLET

He is not eating, but being eaten by worms. We all become worm food in the end.

Not where he eats, but where he is eaten: a certainconvocation of politic worms are e'en at him. Yourworm is your only emperor for diet: we fat allcreatures else to fat us, and we fat ourselves formaggots: your fat king and your lean beggar is butvariable service, two dishes, but to one table:that's the end.

KING CLAUDIUS

Enough, enough!

Alas, alas!

HAMLET

The same worm that eats a king may become food for a fish which serves as the dinner for a cat.

A man may fish with the worm that hath eat of aking, and cat of the fish that hath fed of that worm.

KING CLAUDIUS

What are you talking about?

What dost you mean by this?

HAMLET

I just want to show you what happens to a king’s body after he is gone.

Nothing but to show you how a king may go aprogress through the guts of a beggar.

KING CLAUDIUS

Where is Polonius?

Where is Polonius?

HAMLET

In heaven. Send someone to see and if your messenger does not find him there, go look for yourself in the other place. If you can’t find him there, you’ll be able to smell him in the next month as you go into the lobby.

In heaven; send hither to see: if your messengerfind him not there, seek him i' the other placeyourself. But indeed, if you find him not withinthis month, you shall nose him as you go up thestairs into the lobby.

KING CLAUDIUS

Go look there.

Go seek him there.

To some Attendants

HAMLET

He’s not going anywhere.

He will stay till ye come.

Exeunt Attendants

KING CLAUDIUS

For this deed you have committed, you are going to have to leave for awhile. You must be ready quickly, so go prepare yourself. The boat is ready to take you and your associates to England.

Hamlet, this deed, for thine especial safety,--Which we do tender, as we dearly grieveFor that which thou hast done,--must send thee henceWith fiery quickness: therefore prepare thyself;The bark is ready, and the wind at help,The associates tend, and every thing is bentFor England.

HAMLET

For England!

For England!

KING CLAUDIUS

Yes, Hamlet.

Ay, Hamlet.

HAMLET

Good.

Good.

KING CLAUDIUS

You act as if you knew what we were going to do.

So is it, if thou knew'st our purposes.

HAMLET

A little angel told me. So, off to England. Farewell, dear mother.

I see a cherub that sees them. But, come; forEngland! Farewell, dear mother.

KING CLAUDIUS

I am your loving father, Hamlet.

Thy loving father, Hamlet.

HAMLET

You’re my mother. Like it says, when a man takes a wife, they become of one flesh. So, you are my mother. Come on, off to England!

My mother: father and mother is man and wife; manand wife is one flesh; and so, my mother. Come, for England!

Exit

KING CLAUDIUS

Follow him closely, and see he gets on board quickly. Don’t delay. I want him gone tonight.

Follow him at foot; tempt him with speed aboard;Delay it not; I'll have him hence to-night:Away! for every thing is seal'd and doneThat else leans on the affair: pray you, make haste.

Exeunt ROSENCRANTZ and GUILDENSTERN

And, while in England, if you love me, and you should considering what all the Danes have done in the past, you will not hesitate to kill Hamlet. Obey me, England, and cure me of my sickness. I will not be well until it is done.

And, England, if my love thou hold'st at aught--As my great power thereof may give thee sense,Since yet thy cicatrice looks raw and redAfter the Danish sword, and thy free awePays homage to us--thou mayst not coldly setOur sovereign process; which imports at full,By letters congruing to that effect,The present death of Hamlet. Do it, England;For like the hectic in my blood he rages,And thou must cure me: till I know 'tis done,Howe'er my haps, my joys were ne'er begun.

Exit