The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (389 page)

I need money for my voyage to Persia:So you must pay me back now,Or I'll have this officer arrest you.

ANGELO Even just the sum that I do owe to youIs growing to me by Antipholus,And in the instant that I met with youHe had of me a chain: at five o'clockI shall receive the money for the same.Pleaseth you walk with me down to his house,I will discharge my bond and thank you too.
The exact amount that I owe youIs how much I am about to get from Antipholus,Right before I met youI gave him a chain: at five o'clockHe’s going to pay me for it.If you would like to walk with me to his house,I will gladly pay you back.

Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus and DROMIO of Ephesus from the courtezan'sOFFICER That labour may you save: see where he comes.

You don’t have to walk: there he is.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS While I go to the goldsmith's house, go thouAnd buy a rope's end: that will I bestowAmong my wife and her confederates,For locking me out of my doors by day.But, soft! I see the goldsmith. Get thee gone;Buy thou a rope and bring it home to me.
While I go to the goldsmith's house, you go And buy a piece of rope: I’ll use it to whipMy wife and her comrades,For locking me out of my house today.But, wait! I see the goldsmith. Get out of here;Go buy a rope and bring it home to me.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS I buy a thousand pound a year: I buy a rope.
I buy myself a thousand beatings by buying rope.
ExitANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS A man is well holp up that trusts to you:I promised your presence and the chain;But neither chain nor goldsmith came to me.Belike you thought our love would last too long,If it were chain'd together, and therefore came not.
Some good it does a man to trust you:I promised that you would come with the chain;But neither you nor the chain ever came.Maybe you thought our love would last longer,If it were chained together, and so you decided not to come.

ANGELO Saving your merry humour, here's the noteHow much your chain weighs to the utmost carat,The fineness of the gold and chargeful fashion.Which doth amount to three odd ducats moreThan I stand debted to this gentleman:
Save your jokes, here's the bill forHow much your chain weighs to the last carat,The fineness of the gold and expensive design.Which amounts to about three more ducatsThan I already owe to this gentleman:

I pray you, see him presently discharged,For he is bound to sea and stays but for it.

If you would, please, pay him now,Since he’s leaving and can’t set sail without it.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUSI am not furnish'd with the present money;Besides, I have some business in the town.Good signior, take the stranger to my houseAnd with you take the chain and bid my wifeDisburse the sum on the receipt thereof:Perchance I will be there as soon as you.
I don’t have the money on me at the moment;Besides, I have some business in the town.Good sir, please take the stranger to my houseAnd take the chain with you, ask my wifeTo give you the money when she gets the chain:I may be there shortly.

ANGELO Then you will bring the chain to her yourself?

Then you will bring the chain to her yourself?

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS No; bear it with you, lest I come not time enough.
No; take it with you in case I don’t come home in time.

ANGELO Well, sir, I will. Have you the chain about you?

Well, sir, sounds good. Do you have it with you?

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS An if I have not, sir, I hope you have;Or else you may return without your money.
If I don’t have it, sir, I hope you do;Or else you may return without your money.

ANGELO Nay, come, I pray you, sir, give me the chain:Both wind and tide stays for this gentleman,And I, to blame, have held him here too long.

No, come on, please, give me the chain:Both wind and tide wait for this gentleman,And it’s my fault for keeping him so long.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUSGood Lord! you use this dalliance to excuseYour breach of promise to the Porpentine.I should have chid you for not bringing it,But, like a shrew, you first begin to brawl.
Good Lord! you’re using this trifling matterTo excuse breaking your promise to meet us.I should have scolded you for not bringing it,But, like a shrew, you started fighting me first.

SECOND MERCHANTThe hour steals on; I pray you, sir, dispatch.
It’s really getting late; please, sir, the payment.

ANGELO You hear how he importunes me;--the chain!

You hear how bothersome he is;--the chain!

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS Why, give it to my wife and fetch your money.
Well, give it to my wife and get your money.

ANGELO Come, come, you know I gave it you even now.Either send the chain or send me by some token.

Come on, you know I gave it to you just now.Either give me the chain or give me the money.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUSFie, now you run this humour out of breath,where's the chain? I pray you, let me see it.
Wow, now you’re getting on my nerves,where's the chain? Come on, let me see it.

SECOND MERCHANTMy business cannot brook this dalliance.Good sir, say whether you'll answer me or no:If not, I'll leave him to the officer.

I’m far too busy for this nonsense.Good sir, say whether you'll answer me or not:If not, I'll leave him to the officer.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUSI answer you! what should I answer you?
I answer you! what should I answer you?

ANGELO The money that you owe me for the chain.

The money that you owe me for the chain.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUSI owe you none till I receive the chain.
I owe you nothing till I receive the chain.

ANGELO You know I gave it you half an hour since.

You know I gave it you half an hour ago.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUSYou gave me none: you wrong me much to say so.
You gave me nothing: you wrong me much by saying so.

ANGELO You wrong me more, sir, in denying it:Consider how it stands upon my credit.
You wrong me more, sir, in denying it:Consider how bad this makes me look.

SECOND MERCHANTWell, officer, arrest him at my suit.
Well, officer, arrest him for not paying.

OFFICERI do; and charge you in the duke's name to obey me.
I am; and charge you in the duke's name to obey me.

ANGELO This touches me in reputation.Either consent to pay this sum for meOr I attach you by this officer.

This is so bad for my reputation.Either consent to pay this debt for meOr I’ll have this officer arrest you.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUSConsent to pay thee that I never had!Arrest me, foolish fellow, if thou darest.
Consent to pay you for something I don’t have!Arrest me, stupid man, if you dare.

ANGELO Here is thy fee; arrest him, officer,I would not spare my brother in this case,If he should scorn me so apparently.
Here is your fee; arrest him, officer,I would not spare even my brother in this case,If he scorned me so openly in public.

OFFICERI do arrest you, sir: you hear the suit.

I do arrest you, sir: you hear the charge.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUSI do obey thee till I give thee bail.But, sirrah, you shall buy this sport as dearAs all the metal in your shop will answer.
I will obey you till I give you bail.But, peasant, this game will cost you dearly,You’ll have to pay with all the metal in your shop.

ANGELO Sir, sir, I will have law in Ephesus,To your notorious shame; I doubt it not.
Sir, sir, the law of Ephesus is on my side,You will be ruined, I have no doubt.

Enter DROMIO of Syracuse, from the bayDROMIO OF SYRACUSE Master, there is a bark of EpidamnumThat stays but till her owner comes aboard,And then, sir, she bears away. Our fraughtage, sir,I have convey'd aboard; and I have boughtThe oil, the balsamum and aqua-vitae.The ship is in her trim; the merry windBlows fair from land: they stay for nought at allBut for their owner, master, and yourself.

Master, there is a ship from EpidamnumThat is waiting until the owner comes aboard,And then, sir, she’s going to set sail. Our luggage, sir,I have taken aboard; and I have boughtThe oil, the balm and liquor.The ship is ready; the merry windBlows perfectly in our favor: they await only  Their owner, master, and yourself.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUSHow now! a madman! Why, thou peevish sheep,What ship of Epidamnum stays for me?
What’s this! a madman! Why, you stupid sheep,What ship of Epidamnum waits for me?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE A ship you sent me to, to hire waftage.

A ship you sent me to, to hire passage.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS Thou drunken slave, I sent thee for a rope;And told thee to what purpose and what end.
You drunken slave, I sent you for a rope;And told you to what purpose and what end.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE You sent me for a rope's end as soon:You sent me to the bay, sir, for a bark.

You sent me for a whipping as soon:You sent me to the bay, sir, for a ship.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUSI will debate this matter at more leisureAnd teach your ears to list me with more heed.To Adriana, villain, hie thee straight:Give her this key, and tell her, in the deskThat's cover'd o'er with Turkish tapestry,There is a purse of ducats; let her send it:Tell her I am arrested in the streetAnd that shall bail me; hie thee, slave, be gone!On, officer, to prison till it come.
I will debate this matter when I have timeAnd teach your ears to listen more carefully.To Adriana, idiot, go straight there:Give her this key, and tell her, in the deskThat's covered over with Turkish tapestry,There is a purse of ducats; let her send it:Tell her I am arrested in the streetAnd that will bail me; get going, slave, be gone!Go on, officer, to prison till that money comes.

Exeunt Second Merchant, Angelo, Officer, and Antipholus of EphesusDROMIO OF SYRACUSE To Adriana! that is where we dined,Where Dowsabel did claim me for her husband:She is too big, I hope, for me to compass.Thither I must, although against my will,For servants must their masters' minds fulfil.
To Adriana! that is where we dined,Where that woman said I was her husband:She is too big, I hope, for me to handle.I must go there, although against my will,Servants must do whatever their masters want.
Exit

Enter ADRIANA and LUCIANA 

ADRIANA Ah, Luciana, did he tempt thee so?Mightst thou perceive austerely in his eyeThat he did plead in earnest? yea or no?Look'd he or red or pale, or sad or merrily?What observation madest thou in this caseOf his heart's meteors tilting in his face?
Oh, Luciana, did he really tempt you like that?Could you tell from the look in his eyeIf he was actually serious? yes or no?Was he flushed or pale, or sad or happy?What observation did you make of his faceThat could tell what he was really feeling?

LUCIANA First he denied you had in him no right.
First he denied you had any right to him.

ADRIANA He meant he did me none; the more my spite.
He meant he hasn’t done right by me; which is true.

LUCIANA Then swore he that he was a stranger here.
Then he swore that he was a stranger here.

ADRIANA And true he swore, though yet forsworn he were.
True, he is acting strange, but he’s lying.

LUCIANA Then pleaded I for you.
Then pleaded I for you.

ADRIANA And what said he?
And what did he say?

LUCIANA That love I begg'd for you he begg'd of me.
I begged him to love you, he begged to love me.

ADRIANA With what persuasion did he tempt thy love?
What did he say to persuade your love?

LUCIANA With words that in an honest suit might move.First he did praise my beauty, then my speech.
With words that might have worked in an honest setting. He praised my beauty, then my speech.

ADRIANA Didst speak him fair?
Did you praise him too?

LUCIANA Have patience, I beseech.
Be patient, please.

ADRIANA I cannot, nor I will not, hold me still;My tongue, though not my heart, shall have his will.He is deformed, crooked, old and sere,Ill-faced, worse bodied, shapeless everywhere;Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind;Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
I cannot, and I will not, be still;My tongue will have it’s way if my heart can’t.He is deformed, crooked, old and withered,Ill-faced, worse bodied, shapeless everywhere;Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind;With a deformed body, and a worse mind.