The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (107 page)

GADS.

Case ye, case ye; on with your visards:there's money of

the King's coming down the hill; 'tis going to the King's

exchequer.

Hide yourselves, get your masks on: there's royal

money coming down the hill; it's on its way to the

King's treasury.

FAL.

You lie, ye rogue; 'tis going to the King's tavern.

You're lying, you scoundrel; it's going to the King's tavern.

GADS.

There's enough to make us all.

There's enough to make us all for life.

FAL.

To be hang'd.

To get us all hanged.

PRINCE.

Sirs, you four shall front them in the narrow lane; Ned

Pointz and I will walk lower; if they 'scape from your

encounter, then they light on us.

Gentlemen, you four will confront them in the narrow lane;

Ned Pointz and I will walk round lower; if they escape

you they'll run into us.

PETO.

How many be there of them?

How many of them are there?

GADS.

Some eight or ten.

About eight or ten.

FAL.

Zwounds, will they not rob us?

Good God, won't they rob us?

PRINCE.

What, a coward, Sir John Paunch?

What, are you a coward, Sir John Belly?

FAL.

Indeed, I am not John of Gaunt, your grandfather; but yet

no coward, Hal.

It's true, I'm not John of Gaunt, your grandfather; but still,

I'm not a coward, Hal.

PRINCE.

Well, we leave that to the proof.

Well, we'll wait and see.

POINTZ.

Sirrah Jack, thy horse stands behind the hedge:when thou

need'st him, there thou shalt find him. Farewell, and stand fast.

Sir Jack, your horse is behind the hedge: when you need him,

that's where you'll find him.Farewell, and stand firm.

FAL.

Now cannot I strike him, if I should be hang'd.

Now I can't strike him to save my life.

PRINCE.

[aside to POINTZ.] Ned, where are our disguises?

Ned, where are our disguises?

POINTZ.

[aside to PRINCE HENRY.] Here, hard by:stand close.

Here, close by; keep close to me.

[Exeunt Prince and Pointz.]

FAL.

Now, my masters, happy man be his dole, say I:every man

to his business.

Now, my masters, may everyone be happy, I say; let everyone

go about his business.

[Enter Travellers.]

FIRST TRAVELLER.

Come, neighbour:

The boy shall lead our horses down the hill;

We'll walk a-foot awhile and ease our legs.

Come, neighbour:

the boy shall lead our horses down the hill;

we'll walk for a while to stretch our legs.

FALS, GADS., &C.

Stand!

Stand!

SECOND TRAVELLER.

Jesu bless us!

Jesus bless us!

FAL.

Strike; down with them; cut the villains' throats. Ah,

whoreson caterpillars! bacon-fed knaves! they hate us youth:

down with them; fleece them.

Attack; knock them down; cut the villain's throats. Ah,

damned parasites! Greedy scoundrels! They hate we young people:

knock them down, clean them out.

FIRST TRAVELLER.

O, we're undone, both we and ours for ever!

Oh, we're lost, us and our descendants for ever!

FAL.

Hang ye, gorbellied knaves, are ye undone? No, ye fat chuffs;

I would your store were here! On, bacons on! What, ye knaves!

young men must live. You are grand-jurors, are ye? we'll jure

ye, i'faith.

Hang you, you potbellied knaves, are you lost?No, you fat swine;

I wish your foodstore was here!Go on, you pigs!What, you scoundrels!

Young men must live.Grand jurors are you?I swear we'll pass sentence

on you.

[Exeunt Fals., Gads., &c., driving the Travellers out.]

[Re-enter Prince Henry and Pointz, in buckram suits.]

PRINCE.

The thieves have bound the true men. Now, could thou and I rob

the thieves, and go merrily to London, it would be argument for a

week, laughter for a month, and a good jest for ever.

The thieves have caught the honest men.Now, if you and I can

rob the thieves, and go merrily to London, it would be gossip for a week,

cause laughter for a month, and be a good joke forever.

POINTZ.

Stand close:I hear them coming.

Come closer: I hear them coming.

[They retire.]

[Re-enter Falstaff, Gadshill, Bardolph, and Peto.]

FAL.

Come, my masters, let us share, and then to horse before day.

An the Prince and Pointz be not two arrant cowards, there's no

equity stirring:there's no more valour in that Pointz than in a

wild duck.

Come, my masters, let's share out, and then get riding before daylight.

If the Prince and Pointz aren't two terrible cowards, I'm no judge:

there's no more bravery in Pointz than there is in a wild duck.

[As they are sharing, the Prince and Poins set upon them.]

PRINCE.

Your money!

Give us your money!

POINTZ.

Villains!

Villains!

[Falstaff, after a blow or two, and the others run away, leaving

the booty behind them.]

PRINCE.

Got with much ease. Now merrily to horse:

The thieves are scatter'd, and possess'd with fear

So strongly that they dare not meet each other;

Each takes his fellow for an officer.

Away, good Ned. Fat Falstaff sweats to death,

And lards the lean earth as he walks along:

Were't not for laughing, I should pity him.

That was easily got.Now happily on to the horses:

the thieves are scattered, and so gripped with fear

that they dare not run into each other;

each one thinks the others are sherrifs.

Let's go, good Ned.Fat Falstaff is sweating to death,

he bastes the earth with grease as he goes:

if I wasn't laughing so much I'd feel sorry for him.

POINTZ.

How the rogue roar'd!

How the scoundrel screamed!

[Exeunt.]

[Enter Hotspur, reading a letter.]

HOT.

--But, for mine own part, my lord, I could be well contented to

be there, in respect of the love I bear your House.--He could be

contented; why is he not, then? In respect of the love he bears

our House!--he shows in this, he loves his own barn better than he

loves our house. Let me see some more. The purpose you undertake

is dangerous;--Why, that's certain:'tis dangerous to take a cold,

to sleep, to drink; but I tell you, my lord fool, out of this nettle,

danger, we pluck this flower, safety. The purpose you undertake is

dangerous; the friends you have named uncertain; the time itself

unsorted; and your whole plot too light for the counterpoise of so

great an opposition.--

Say you so, say you so?I say unto you again, you are a shallow,

cowardly hind, and you lie. What a lack-brain is this! By the Lord,

our plot is a good plot as ever was laid; our friends true and

constant: a good plot, good friends, and full of expectation; an

excellent plot, very good friends. What a frosty-spirited rogue is

this! Why, my Lord of York commends the plot and the general course

of the action. Zwounds! an I were now by this rascal, I could brain

him with his lady's fan. Is there not my father, my uncle, and

myself? Lord Edmund Mortimer, my Lord of York, and Owen Glendower?

is there not, besides, the Douglas? have I not all their letters to

meet me in arms by the ninth of the next month? and are they not

some of them set forward already? What a pagan rascal is this! an

infidel! Ha! you shall see now, in very sincerity of fear and cold

heart, will he to the King, and lay open all our proceedings. O, I

could divide myself, and go to buffets, for moving such a dish of

skimm'd milk with so honourable an action!

Hang him! let him tell the King:we are prepared. I will set

forward to-night.--

[Enter Lady Percy.]

How now, Kate! I must leave you within these two hours.

" But for my part, my lord, I could be

very happy to be there, due to the love I have

for your family." He could be happy: then

why isn't he? Out of the love he has for our family: he

shows by this that he loves his own barn more than

he loves our house. Let me read some more. “The

action you plan is dangerous"–why, that's

obvious; it's dangerous to catch a cold, to sleep, to

drink; but I tell you, you foolish lord, out of this nettle of

danger we will pluck the flower of safety. “The action

you plan is dangerous, the friends you have named

are not reliable, the time is badly chosen and your

whole plot is too weak to combat the strength of

such a great enemy." That's what you say, is it? I say to

you again, you are a shallow cowardly fellow, and you

lie: what a lamebrain he is! By God, our plot is

a good plot, as good as was ever made, our friends true and

loyal: good plot, good friends, and excellent

chances: an excellent plot, very good friends; what a

cold spirited scoundrel this is! Why, my Lord of York

commends the plot, and the outline of the

plan. By God, if I were with this rascal now I

could beat his brains out with his lady's fan. Isn't there my