The Complete Memories Series (20 page)

“I’ll never let you go, Princess. I’ll follow you anywhere,’’ he murmurs and kisses me.

I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him back, rain dripping down my face. He lifts me up and I squeak in shock. I wrap my legs around his waist and he holds me tighter to him.

‘‘Anywhere?’’ I ask softly, brushing my nose against his.

‘‘To Mars, Jupiter and Pluto,’’ he clarifies. ‘‘Maybe even back again.’’

I grin and kiss him again, still revelling in the touch of his lips to mine. Something about this guy has me head over heels in love. I’d follow him wherever he wanted to go without question.

His hand slides up my back and he leans me against the rock, his lips leaving mine. Little kisses dot on my jaw and down my neck.

‘‘I’ve always wanted sex in the rain,’’ he mutters as I slide my hand into his wet hair.

‘‘Oh yeah?’’ I ask, moving my head to the side.

‘‘Yep,’’ he answers, kissing me again, harder than before. My legs tighten around his waist and he groans quietly, moving away from the rock and lowering us to the sand behind the rock. He lies back, pulling me with him, and I straddle him.

‘‘Princess?’’ he says softly.

‘‘Mmm?’’

‘‘It’ll only ever be you, you know that, right?’’ Hooded blue-grey eyes meet mine.

‘‘Yeah.’’ I suck on his bottom lip lightly. ‘‘I know.’’

My body sinks into the sand and her wet hair falls down, hiding us from the rest of the world. Here, with her in my arms, nothing else exists. There is only her.

She sucks lightly on my bottom lip again and I tighten my grip on her hips, my fingers digging into her wet skin. Her hips shift slightly, rubbing me. She moans into my mouth and I run my tongue along her top lip, forcing her to let me in. Her tongue meets every movement mine makes and she grabs my hair, her hips shifting again.

I grab the hem of her shirt and lift it over her head. I groan at the sight of her lacy black bra pushing her boobs together. Little droplets of water snake down them and I capture one with my mouth, licking a trail along the top of each cup. She shivers and lifts her hips, reaching behind and undoing my jeans with one hand.

“Impressive.” I kiss the word onto her skin and run my hands along her sides.

“Mhmm,” she breathes out, reaching under my jeans to where I have a raging hard on. Her fingers brush the tip of me and I explode.

I flip her onto her back, kissing down her stomach. My tongue swirls in her belly button and her back arches up. I pull her legs from where they’re wrapped round my waist and slide off her jeans. I chuck them to the rocks with my top.

Lexy moves her hands and grabs my neck, pulling my face back to hers.

“Nuh-uh.” I kiss her once and drag my lips along her neck, chest, stomach. I drop little kisses along her knicker line and her hips buck. I stroke her thighs gently, my fingers gradually becoming more probing. Moving the scrap of lace she calls underwear to the side, I lower my tongue even more until I can taste her.

She gasps and I find the part of her screaming for attention immediately. I draw slow, lazy circles with the tip of my tongue then flick gently. Long strokes along her tender flesh have her bucking her hips and I put my hands there to stop her. Her muscles tense and I focus all my attention on the little bundle of nerves until she screams out my name.

I pull my jeans and boxers to my knees, hook her legs over my hips and move towards her.

‘‘I need you, now.” Lexy nibbles my earlobe and I thrust my hips forward once, moving into her in one long, swift movement. Her muscles are still contracting from her orgasm and I clench my teeth.

She squeaks out a sound as I begin to move hard and fast. She meets me thrust for thrust, gripping my back, her nails digging in.

Our skin is slick from the rain still falling and she tilts her head back. I graze my teeth along the skin of her neck and groan. She moves her hips up, opening her legs slightly and I’m done.

She cries out at the same time I stop, ecstasy running through our bodies.

I grin lazily at her flushed face and parted lips. I kiss the corner of her mouth and she smiles sleepily.

“Alec?” Her brown eyes open and hold me prisoner in her gaze.

“What, Princess?”

“Thank you,” she whispers.

“What for?” I smooth some hair off her forehead.

“For being you. Just that.” She smiles and I know she’s thanking me for not giving up on her.

Like I’d ever give up on the girl who never gave up on me.

The sounds of sirens wake me and I rub my eyes to clear them of sleep. I can hear shouts and frantic movements downstairs, and I jump out of bed and run downstairs.

I’m greeted by mum crying, dad comforting her and Bing pacing. Paramedics are bent over someone on the floor... Slowly, it clicks in my mind.

“Grammy?” I cry, propelling myself down the last few stairs. “Gram!!”

Bing grabs me to stop me going past him and folds me into him.

“What’s going on? What’s wrong?” I look at everyone and the paramedic turns to me.

“It looks like your grandmother has suffered a heart attack, but with her medical history it’s to be expected.”

Heart attack? Medical history?

“Just tell me she’ll be okay,” I beg as my eyes brim with tears.

His eyes reflect the sympathy he feels inside. “I’m sorry, I can’t tell you that. We’ll know more when we get to the hospital, but rest assured we’re doing everything we can for your Gram.”

I look down and the tears spill from my eyes. Gram has to be okay, she’s Gram.

She’s always okay.

I look back up as they carry her out on a stretcher. Breathing apparatus is attached to her face and she’s pale, deathly pale. My heart clenches and I want nothing more than to hug her and promise it’ll be okay.

I don’t even realise I’ve moved towards her until Bing pulls me back.

“Mum’s going in the ambulance. Dad’s gonna follow behind with us,’’ he says softly. I nod. It’s all I can do.

“Lexy, go and put some clothes on, baby. We’ll leave in five minutes.” Dad kisses my head and Bing takes me upstairs.

I throw on some shorts and a top. I don’t bother with make-up, and I barely run the brush through my hair. My phone stays sitting on the side - all the things I pride myself on are suddenly irrelevant to me.

All that matters is Grammy.

Five minutes later we leave the house.

“Where are they taking her?” I ask, staring numbly out the window.

“North Devon District Hospital,” Dad answers. “The nearest one is too small to deal with a heart attack.”

I nod again.

Heart attack.

The words swirl in my brain endlessly, ridden with pain and uncertainty. The image of her as the paramedics wheeled her out is forefront in my mind and I feel tears spill from my eyes again.

We’re silent for the rest of the drive into Barnstaple, to the hospital. Each of us are consumed in our own thoughts and worry hangs over us like a looming storm, heavy and unrelenting.

“She’s in A&E right now,” the woman at the hospital desk tells us. “It’s the next building over. If you guys go on over and let them know you’re waiting they’ll let you know when all the tests have been done. Your wife will be over there now, Mr. Edwards.”

Dad nods his thanks and we step back outside, following the path to Accident and Emergency.

The automatic doors open and I’m hit by the smell of disinfectant riddled with illness and blood. I put my hand to my face and Bing tucks me into his side. Hospitals are a horrible place. The last clear memory I have of one - of this exact one - is the day my Grandpa died. To my nine year old mind hospitals represented death, and that’s something I’ve held on to for the last nine years.

I drift through the room, taking a seat on the hard plastic chair across from Mum. She’s white, her clasped hands are shaking and her eyes are rimmed with red. Like me, she has no make up on and her hair is pulled up in a messy bun. I guess today is a day of firsts for both of us.

It’s still early so there’s barely anyone here. The local news plays silently on the television in the corner, but I’m oblivious to the written headlines scrolling across the bottom of the screen.

I remember the paramedic’s words. Medical history. I don’t even know Gram’s medical history, apart from her hip replacement. She’s healthy, isn’t she?

“Dad?” I ask. He looks at me with red eyes. “What did the paramedic mean when he said, ‘with her medical history it’s to be expected’?”

Dad sighs and his face softens even more. Wrinkles in the corners of his eyes I’d never noticed before are suddenly clear to me. Have I been so wrapped up in my own life I couldn’t even see my own father getting older?

“Your Gram has a history of heart disease. She was diagnosed two years ago, and it’s always been controlled with medication. Until now.”

The world stops as my mind processes this revelation.

Heart disease?

“Does that mean she’s gonna die?” My bottom lip trembles as I attempt to hold it together.

“Oh, baby, no,” Mum says comfortingly and moves to the seat next to me. She wraps her arms around me and rocks me the way she used to when I was child. “Not at all, it just means her heart needed a little break. It’s so full of love it had to go for a lie down.”

I know she’s lying. I even know she’s explaining it to me the way you would a child, but I don’t care.

Right now, I don’t feel like I’m eighteen, an adult. I feel the way I did when Grandpa had his stroke. I remember sitting in this very room, swinging my legs under me and asking what was going on.

The room closes in on me as the memories flood back, and I start to cry again.

“What do we do now?” Bing asks, his voice cracking.

Even my hardened big brother is breaking.

“We wait,” Dad says softly.

So we wait.
 

~
 

And we wait.

~
 

And we wait.

~

After what seems like a lifetime, the doctor approaches us with clipboard in hand.

“Mrs. Edwards?” He looks at Mum.

“Yes, that’s me.” She stands and shakes his outstretched hand.

“I’m Doctor Hamilton, your mother’s physician. Is this your family?”

“Yes, my husband Simon, and our children, Samuel and Alexis.”

Dr. Hamilton shakes all our hands. “I’m just coming to let you know that we’re about to transfer your mother to ICU. Our tests have shown she’s suffered a particularly nasty heart attack, most likely triggered by her heart disease, so we’ve decided the best option was to sedate her for twenty-four hours. She’s in a stable condition for now, so we have our fingers crossed she’ll wake sometime tomorrow. If you head on up to ICU in about twenty minutes, you’ll be able to pop in and see her.”

Mum thanks him profusely and he nods his goodbye.

ICU.

Intensive care.

Sedated.

Heart attack.

Numbly, I follow my family down the corridors. They’re all the same.

White.

Bland.

Plain.

Clinical.

The lift doors whir open outside ICU. I don’t remember stepping inside it.

We wash our hands with the gel stationed outside the locked doors and we get buzzed in.

I slip my hand into Bing’s and he squeezes it gently.

Mum pulls the curtains open and I hear her small gasp. Dad puts his arm around her shoulders and I close my eyes. I don’t want to look.

I don’t want to see her.

“I can’t do it,” I whisper hoarsely. “I can’t.”

“You can. Just a look and I’ll take you home. I’ll drive back for the ‘rents.” Bing tugs me forward and I slowly open my eyes.

Tubes.

Machines.

Beeping.

They’re everywhere.

Amongst them all is Gram. She’s so still, so peaceful. I kiss her cheek gently, smelling her face powder.

Of course. Only Grammy would time a heart attack for after she’d applied her powder.

I half laugh, half choke on my tears at my thoughts.

“Love you,” I whisper to her. “But I can’t stay, Grammy. I don’t like seeing you this way. I’ll be back tomorrow, so you wake up and I promise you can tease me about Alec all you like and remind me how you were right.”

Bing says something along the same lines, minus the part about Alec and plus a bottle of Baileys or Vino.

If anything will wake her up, it’s the promise of Vino.

~

Ten missed calls. Fifteen text messages. Four voice mails.

Jen. Alec. Carl.

Where are you?

Is your gram okay?

Princess you there? xxx

Mrs Banks saw the ambulance. Call me Princess xxx

The texts are all the same. I don’t bother listening to the voice mails they’ve left. Instead, I scroll down to Alec’s name in my contacts and hit the call button.

“Princess, is everything okay?”

The sound of his concerned voice travels to my ears and I break again.

“Meet... Me... Bay,” I manage between my sobs.

“I’ll pick you up in five minutes,’’ he says and clicks off. I nod although he can’t see me.

He can’t take the pain away, but he can sure make it better.

I move into the bathroom and stare at myself in the mirror. My dark hair is a mess, my cheeks are blotchy and my eyes are swollen from crying. I splash my face with cold water, trying to compose myself. Grammy’s face products are lined up on the tiled shelf, staring at me. I glare at them, like it makes a difference, and slam the door on my way out.

Alec is waiting outside when I open the front door. He takes one look at me and wraps me in his arms. I cling to him like he’s my lifeline, like I’m drifting out to sea and he’s the only one who can save me. I squeeze my eyes shut and he strokes my hair gently, burying his face in it.

His touch soothes me where I need it. It grounds me again, and we stand there in each others arms until I feel strong enough to speak.

“Gram’s had a heart attack,” I manage.

“How is she?” He looks at me, his blue eyes shining with worry.

“She’s in ICU. Till tomorrow at least.” I get into his car. “I didn’t stay long enough for the finer details. I hate hospitals.”

He links our fingers over the gear stick and pulls away from the kerb.

“Me, too,” he agrees. “Your parents are still there?”

“Yeah, Bing drove me back. He’s there now getting them.”

“You should have called, I would have come to get you.”

“I didn’t have my phone,” I say quietly.

The beach looms ahead of me and I can already feel its effects. The sea breeze drifting past, the calming, steady beat of the waves as they claw their way up the sand.

I jump from the car as we stop and run to the rocks. My hands press against the rugged surface as the image of Gram flashes in my mind again. My knees buckle as strong arms go round me from behind and I spin, burying my face into Alec’s chest as a fresh wave of tears come over me.

He lowers us gently to the sand, holding me tight against him.

“She has heart disease, and they didn’t even tell me. They were expecting it to happen and they didn’t tell me!” I cry, my voice gaining volume. “Even Bing knew! But me? No. No-one thought to tell Gram’s girl.”

“Sssh.” Alec rocks me gently. “It was wrong. I wish you could have been told before this happened. I wish I could have told you.”

I wish I could have told you.

The meaning of his words wash over me with a startling clarity.

He knew.

“You knew,” I choke out and pull away. “You knew my Grandmother was dying and you didn’t tell me!”

“Princess.’’ He reaches for me but I shake my head and stand up.

“Don’t you Princess me.” I laugh bitterly and turn to walk away.

Betrayal laces through my body and my heart clenches. Everything we’ve shared together, everything we’ve said and done.... He knew the whole time and he kept it from me.

I spin back around and march up to him, the waves increasing to a roar as they match the heightened emotion in my body.

“
YOU KNEW
!” I scream and shove his chest. He looks down and I push him again. “You’ve known from day one! She’s probably dying and I didn’t spend as much time with her as I could have! As I should have!”

“She didn’t want you to know.’’ He meets my eyes and I see the pain there but it doesn’t register in my mind. All I can feel are my own, overwhelming emotions. “She wanted to watch you this summer, she wanted you to be happy.”

“Then I’m glad she can’t see this.” I run my fingers through my hair. “How could you keep it from me? After everything? I. Gave. You. Everything, and you were hiding it all along!”

“I didn’t want to see you hurt!” Alec shouts.

“Well it’s too late!” I yell back at him. “Because now I have double the pain to deal with and no one to help me deal with it!”

“Lexy...”

“No, Alec! You don’t get to do that anymore! You betrayed me, you lied to me.” I finish quietly and walk backwards away from him. “You made me fall in love with you, then you ripped my heart out in the worst possible way.”