The Click Trilogy (34 page)

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Authors: Lisa Becker

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To: Shelley Manning

Subject: High School Drama!

Remember how I told you I was feeling “hot?”  Well, now I’m feeling “not!”  I met Eugenia, who promptly asked me to call her Genie, as Eugenia is a name reserved only for “certain people.”  She’s GORGEOUS.  A total blond bombshell.  Despite living in Ohio, she could really be walking the streets of New York, Paris or LA.  She was stylish, modern, and beautiful.

 

And get this – she wants Ethan back!!!  Conniving little bitch!  She’s so high school!

 

Ethan’s sister told me, that Genie told Ethan, that he wouldn’t end up with me because “guys like him don’t end up with Plain Janes like Renee.”  Plain Jane?  That’s Plain Renee to you, beyotch!  HA!  (Still have my humor intact.)

 

But seriously, she told him that she’s been thinking a lot about him and has been considering a move to LA now that he’s settled in there.  Supposedly, Ethan said that she
should
move to LA.

 

I confronted Ethan about it.  I told him that his sister told me what Eugenia had told him.  UGH!  This really
is
so high school.

 

This is how our conversation went:

 

Me: I understand that you told Genie you want her to move to Los Angeles.  What’s the story there?

Ethan:  Who told you that?

 

Me:  Samantha.

 

Ethan:  She’s such a goddam gossip.  That’s not what I said.

 

Me:  So, why don’t you tell me what you
did
say.

 

Ethan:  Eugenia said she was thinking about moving to LA.  I told her she would really like LA and should give it a try.  I didn’t say I
wanted
her to move there.

 

Me:  Clearly, she still has feelings for you.

 

Ethan:  Well, that’s her problem.

 

Me:  So you’re telling me you don’t find her attractive?

 

Ethan:  That’s a loaded question, don’t you think?  She was really cute in high school and has turned into a really stunning woman.  Empirically, she’s beautiful. I think we can all agree on that.  But I’m not
attracted
to her.  Looks aren’t that critical to me.

 

Me: 

 

Ethan:  Shit.  That didn’t come out right.  Let me rephrase that.  Looks aren’t the
only
criteria for me.  Yes.  She’s really good looking. But
you’re
beautiful… and smart, funny, charming, generous and kind.  She doesn’t hold a candle to you.

 

Me: 

 

She’s a conniving saboteur and told Ethan’s sister all about how Ethan wants her to move to LA knowing that she would tell me.  UGH!

With all of this drama and the three-hour time difference, you’d think I’d be exhausted.  But no!  I can’t sleep.  So I’m sitting in his parents’ kitchen emailing you and slowly – one tiny sliver at a time – devouring a homemade chocolate cake.

 

From: Shelley Manning – September 7, 2012 – 9:12 AM To:  Renee Greene

Subject: Re: High School Drama!

Seriously!  How is it possible this shit happens to you?  I just don’t understand.  You tell that Genie that she better watch it or I’ll stuff her skinny ass – blond hair and all – back into a bottle if I need to.  Don’t mess with my friend!

 

From: Renee Greene – September 7, 2012 – 1:12 PM

To: Shelley Manning

Subject: Re: High School Drama!

Ah!  Thanks.  I’ll let her know she’s messed with the wrong gal, because that gal has a friend who knows how to take care of business.  And how to take care of her friends.

 

From: Renee Greene – September 9, 2012 – 11:52 AM

To: Shelley Manning

Subject: Pressure’s On!

Okay, so yesterday’s series of phone calls were some of the most fun of my life.  Can’t believe I got to share such amazing news.  I’m engaged.  Me!  Yahoo!

 

But seriously, WTF?  Ethan and I just got engaged…yesterday.  And people are already asking when we are going to get married.  Can’t we just enjoy being engaged?  For a few days at least?

 

I remember my sister saying that the minute she got married people started asking when she was going to have a baby.  And the minute the baby pops out (well, it doesn’t really pop out, does it?  We can just ask Ashley about that pretty soon, huh?), they start asking when she’s going to have another one.  Come on, people.  Let me just have a few moments to be “in the moment,” will ya?

 

Oh, and all of the pictures.  It wasn’t just the “papa”razzi, but the “mama”razzi too, with his dad, mom, sisters, brothers in law, etc. all snapping away photos with cameras and cell phones.

 

But I must say the petty part of me LOVED showing the ring off to Genie.  All of the color drained from her face when Ethan told her the good news.  I guess this “Plain Renee” has triumphed. Long live Supermodel Renee. Hurrah!

 

From: Shelley Manning – September 9, 2012 – 1:13 PM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: Re: Pressure’s On!

Hurrah indeed!  Congrats again, and take THAT back to your bottle, evil ex-girlfriend Genie! Sweetie, I’m just thrilled beyond words for you and I say enjoy the moment.  BTW, you forgot to describe the sparkler to me when we spoke yesterday.  Details!

 

From: Ashley Gordon – September 9, 2012 – 2:36 PM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: CONGRATS!!!!!

Again, thanks for the call yesterday and soooooooooooooooo very happy for you and Ethan.  Can’t wait to see your ring.  Call me when you’re back and we’ll get together.

 

From: Renee Greene – September 10, 2012 – 8:25 AM

To: Shelley Manning

Subject: Re: Pressure’s On!

We’re on the plane coming home and I can’t stop staring at it.  I love the way the light flashes and sparkles as I click clack away at my laptop.  It’s…GORGEOUS!  It’s a one and a half carat, square cut diamond in a very simple, yet elegant setting.  The stone was his grandmother’s and his grandfather wanted Ethan – his only grandson – to have it.  He said the original setting was a little dated and he knew I was a “simple” girl.  But he said “simple” in the completely right way, if you know what I mean.

 

BTW, his big marriage advice:  “Iron no more!  Leave ‘em on the floor!”  I guess I need to let it slide that Ethan leaves his dirty boxers on the floor.

 

Anyhoo, had I known I was getting engaged, I would have gotten a manicure.  All of these people – Ethan’s sisters, brothers in law, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends and even a few random strangers at the game, have all been staring at my hand.  But I will not complain.  It certainly is a welcome surprise – the surprise of a lifetime.

 

From: Renee Greene – September 10, 2012 – 8:31 AM

To: Ashley Gordon

Subject: Re: CONGRATS!!!!!

Thanks Ashley.  I’m so excited too.  It feels like a dream.  I keep pinching myself to make sure it’s real.  I’m on my way back now.  I’ll call you tomorrow and come by when it’s good for you.  Anything you need?

 

From: Ashley Gordon – September 10, 2012 – 9:02 AM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: Re: CONGRATS!!!!!

A surrogate!

 

From: Renee Greene – September 10, 2012 – 9:07 AM

To: Ashley Gordon

Subject: Re: CONGRATS!!!!!

HA!  It’s a bit too late for that.  But I can bring you some root beer and ice cream for root beer floats and some gossip mags to distract you from your non-surrogate, bed-rest reality for a while.

 

From: Ashley Gordon – September 10, 2012 – 9:09 AM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: Re: CONGRATS!!!!!

Okay, since the surrogate option is out, that’ll have to do.  Thanks!

 

From: Shelley Manning – September 10, 2012 – 10:37 AM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: Re: Pressure’s On!

Again, you enjoy, enjoy, enjoy this moment!  You are a lovely, wonderful, caring, thoughtful person who deserves all of the happiness imaginable.

 

From: Renee Greene – September 10, 2012 – 1:30 PM

To: Shelley Manning

Subject: Re: Pressure’s On!


 

From: Shelley Manning – September 10, 2012 – 2:25 PM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: Re: Pressure’s On!

Meet you Wednesday at Mel’s for lunch so I can see you, your happiness and this stunning ring in person, Sweetie.  Mwah! Mwah!

 

From: Shelley Manning – September 12, 2012 – 2:57 PM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: Tell it to me straight!

Sweetie, what’s going on?  You were not your normal self at lunch.  Spill!  You just got engaged to the love of your life.  Why do you seem miserable?  And don’t tell me you’re not.  I know you better than anyone.  ANYONE!

 

From: Renee Greene – September 12, 2012 – 2:59 PM

To: Shelley Manning

Subject: Re: Tell it to me straight!

I can’t talk about it.  I know this is going to make me sound like the pettiest person ever.

 

From: Shelley Manning – September 12, 2012 – 3:10 PM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: Re: Tell it to me straight!

Spill!  Honestly, if you can’t tell me (who
is
quite possibly the pettiest person ever) who can you tell, right?

 

From: Renee Greene – September 12, 2012 – 3:11 PM

To: Shelley Manning

Subject: Re: Tell it to me straight!

Promise you won’t judge me?

 

From: Shelley Manning – September 12, 2012 – 3:12 PM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: Re: Tell it to me straight!

No, I won’t judge.  That’s Ashley’s thing, not mine.  But I can’t say I won’t mock or tease.  ;)  Come on.  Out with it.

 

From: Renee Greene – September 12, 2012 – 3:27 PM

To: Shelley Manning

Subject: Re: Tell it to me straight!

Ha!  Okay, here goes.  I love Ethan.  You know that.  He knows that.  But when I pictured my engagement, it was like a fairy tale with flowers and violins.

He proposed at half time at a Buckeyes game in front of his family, friends and thousands of screaming fans.

 

From: Shelley Manning – September 12, 2012 – 3:35 PM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: Re: Tell it to me straight!

Hey, at least no jumbotron was involved.  Thank goodness for small favors.  But seriously, Sweetie, if it bothers you this much, maybe you should talk to him about it.

 

From: Renee Greene – September 12, 2012 – 3:45 PM

To: Shelley Manning

Subject: Re: Tell it to me straight!

Never!  He would be devastated.  It’s fine.  I’m so happy we are going to spend our lives together.  It’s a dream come true.  I guess I was just hoping the dream would start with the fairy tale instead of a tale of tight ends and quarterback sneaks.  And please, try to control yourself.

 

From: Shelley Manning – September 12, 2012 – 3:51 PM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: Re: Tell it to me straight!

I’m trying, but really, who knew that football sounded so homo erotic? And since when do you know anything about football?

 

From: Renee Greene – September 12, 2012 – 3:53 PM

To: Shelley Manning

Subject: Re: Tell it to me straight!

You’ve got to have a good running game if you want to move the sticks.

 

From: Shelley Manning – September 12, 2012 – 3:53 PM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: Re: Tell it to me straight!

Huh?

 

From: Renee Greene – September 12, 2012 – 3:55 PM

To: Shelley Manning

Subject: Re: Tell it to me straight!

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