The Bucket List (9 page)

"What are you talking about? Of course you matter. I might not have found you till you were sixteen but I thought of you everyday. If I had known Rebecca had got married and her new name, I'd have found you sooner, please believe me."

"I know. It's just... I didn't want to be alone anymore."

Irving
put his hand over hers on the table, forcing her to look at him.

"You have me and Sara, you're not alone," he said. "And for the record, I know what type of person you are. I've had ten years of you, remember?"

"And you're still here," Rae stated.

"I'm still here," he smiled. "So what do you say we take one day at a time till you get used to the fact that I will in fact try my hardest to force my will on you. That is what parents do, isn't it?"

"I think you've read the wrong parenting books," Rae laughed.

"What do you think that's all about?" Matt asked his brother.

"Stop being nosey," Nate chided as he gave his order.

"Come on, aren't you even a bit curious? I've never seen
Irving smile like that. You think maybe..."

"Eeeww!"
Nate cut in before his brother could finish the sentence. "That is way too scary to even contemplate. I think maybe they're just friends."

"What would
Irving have in common with her?"

"Maybe she's got hidden depths."

Matt guffawed .

"Yeah, right!" he said.

"Just order your breakfast, Matt. You still have to look at my sketches before you catch your plane," Nate said.

"Why don't you do what normal people do and maybe just buy dad a car?" Matt asked.

"That would be completely meaningless and not me," Nate stated. "Besides, he's going to love it once it's done. It's of mum."

It was 21 years that year since their mother had passed away from brain cancer but her memory was alive and well in the
Nate family. Nate liked to think she was always looking down at him and protecting him.

"I'm sure it's brilliant, as all you work is," Matt said to his little brother.

Rae paled as she felt the splitting headache. Shit! Of all the times for that to come on...

"Are you
all right?" Irving asked.

"Yeah, I just need to go lie down for a bit," she lied as she quickly got up.

They had long since finished their breakfast and had just been talking over coffee.

"I'll walk you to your door."

"No, it's all right. I just overdid it last night," she lied again. "Finish your coffee. Call me anytime, Corey told me to stress that point."

She gave him a quick kiss and an impulsive little hug.

"Maybe I'll come visit you for a few days when you're home."

"I'd love that,"
Irving smiled. "Now go, you look like you're about to lose your breakfast."

She did as she was told and rushed out of the restaurant. When she knew she was out of sight, she ruffled through her bag until she found what she was looking for. She didn't realise the two men waiting at the elevators were watching her as she popped the pills down. All she needed now was to get to her room and pop a sleeping pill down her.
Corey wouldn't ask any questions, he already knew she hadn't got any sleep the previous night.

"A bitch and a junkie! Who would have guessed?" a voice said sarcastically.

She heard it, but it was more like a loud humming noise, grating on her over-sensitive nerves. Leaning against the wall, she waited for the doors to open, praying that she wouldn't pass out before she got to her bed. She should have planned for this, worked out a way to avoid Corey and John when she had her attacks. The last thing she wanted was to pass out in front of them and wake up in a hospital.

"Are you still drunk?" another voice asked.

The sound of it cut through her like a knife, making her wince. It was unbearable. How the hell was she going to go through the next few weeks like this?

The doors opened and she stumbled in.

"Are you all right?"

Couldn't these people just stop talking? Grabbing on to the railing, she waited what seemed like an eternity for them to follow her in and the doors to close. At this rate, she wouldn't make it to her bed in time.

"What floor?"

Oh, God! No, she wouldn't make it. She held on as hard as she could but she knew that wouldn't stop her from hitting the floor. Her head felt like it was exploding into a million little pieces, painfully reforming then exploding all over again. Her ears were ringing and her vision was blurred. She felt the darkness coming, felt the strength leave her body as she started to slide to the floor. She felt strong hands catch her and she looked up to catch a glimpse of rainbow coloured hair.

"Don't take me to Corey...just let me sleep," she whispered hoarsely just as the darkness came.

"You heard what she said, man. She obviously doesn't want
Corey to see her like this," Nate said as they both looked down at the blonde they had just put down on the bed.

"She passed out,
Nate. We should at least get a doctor or something," Matt argued. "What if she dies on us?"

"She said to just let her sleep. Obviously this has happened to her before,"
Nate said.

"Well, we owe her nothing. Lets just take her to
Corey and let him worry about it," Matt said.

"Tell you what. You go get your
stuff, you'll miss your plane. I'll get Corey to sort her out," Nate suggested.

"I know you,
Nate. You won't do it," Matt said. "If I go, the next thing I'll hear is how someone died on your bed and no one knew about it till the next day."

"Look, I'm calling
Corey now," he said as he found his number in his phone book. "Just go catch your plane, I'll sort it."

"Call him while I'm here."

Nate rolled his eyes and pushed his phone in his brother's face so he could see him press the call button.

"Happy?" he asked as he put the phone to his ear.

Before the phone had a chance to ring, he pressed the end call button.

"Yeah, hi
Corey," he said after a suitable amount of time passed. "We've got an emergency down here, could you come as quick as you can? Matt is freaking out."

He paused.

"It's your friend, Rae," he said. "She passed out and we don't know what to do."

He turned back to his brother as if
Steele had just hung up.

"He's on his way. Now go. You've only just got back, you don't want Vince on your ass so soon."

"All right, but call me and tell me what happens," Matt said as he gave his brother a quick hug and rushed to the door. "You'll have to take a picture of your sketches and text it to me or something. I'll see you soon."

"Take care of yourself, Matty."

When his brother was gone, Nate walked back to his bed. He should have just rang Steele, the last thing he needed right now was drama. Especially if it involved the drugs he had seen her take. He'd caught a glimpse of the label and thought how, not so long ago he'd had a whole carton of those at his disposal. It had nearly cost him his career. He knew why he'd needed such strong painkillers, but why the hell was she taking them? They didn't give those out on prescriptions, he knew that.

Attentively
, he put his fingers on the side of her neck to feel her pulse. She wasn't dying, as Matt had claimed. He pulse was weak but it was there. She had just passed out. It could have been the amount of alcohol she had consumed the night before. It could be the lack of sleep from the activities Kennedy was bragging about to anyone who'd listen. She was a party girl, obviously she didn't look after herself properly. That had to be it. Maybe someone had told her it was cool to do the drugs she did. She certainly looked like she had tried everything decadent and addictive more than once in the course of her life.

She stirred and
Nate was immediately drawn back from his musings. The first thing he noticed was the expression of pain on her face as she tried to move her head. Her eyes were closed but he heard her whimper and saw the tears that slid down the sides of her face. That didn't look like a hangover to him. What the hell was going on with her? Should he call the doctor?

"Please..." she moaned. "Give me some more painkillers."

"Shh. You've just had some. Give them time to work," he whispered back, a frown marring his features.

"It hurts... I can't do this
...," she cried.

"What hurts?"

"My head... please," she begged.

She still hadn't opened her eyes and it looked like talking was making her feel worse. His frown grew as he realised there was a lot more going on than he'd realised. Those painkillers would have killed a mere headache in seconds.

"I can't give you any more. Those pills are dangerous."

She let out a frustrated little breath as her tears increased.
He noticed how she was clutching the bed covers as if her life depended on it, how she looked completely pale.

"I'm calling a doctor,"
Nate said as he reached in his pocket for his phone.

"No!"

The little outburst cost her dearly, he noticed. She bundled up into a fetal position and put her hands on her temples, all the while wincing.

"You're in terrible pain. I need to do something."

"Just a few more painkillers... and some sleeping pills... I'll be all right when I get up."

"Rachael..."

"Please," she pleaded weakly. "I can't take the pain."

He sat there for another moment, deliberating. What the hell was he supposed to do?

"Please. I swear I'll explain when I get up," she pleaded.

With a heavy sigh, he reached for the bag he had placed on the bedside table and found the pills. She was still
whimpering, still writhing in pain. He had to do it, he couldn't see another way. Getting a glass of water, he found a bottle of sleeping pills in his bag and popped one out as well as a couple of painkillers. She took them gratefully from him then settled back on the pillow.

"Rae," he whispered. "Tell me
what’s going on. Have you had these headaches long?"

"A while," she answered as the sleeping pill started working.

"Have you seen a doctor about it?"

"Yes."

"What did he say?"

"I've got a tumor..."

When Rae opened her eyes she felt like death warmed over.

"Fuck!" she swore to herself.

Why the hell was this happening to her? Was she being punished for the fast life she had led? Had she caused too much heartache to too many people? Was she too much of a selfish, cold hearted bitch to deserve to live? It was ironic really, how she had watched the disease claim both her step dad and mother and now she was suffering the same fate.

"How are you feeling?"

She turned her head to see the rainbow haired warrior sitting in a chair next to the bed. He had a
sketchpad in his lap and headphones around his neck.

"I could be better," she smiled sadly as she sat up.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.

"Not really."

Nate nodded his head and put the pad down.

"I ordered some food," he said. "I thought maybe you'd want to get something down you before you go back to your room."

"I'm not really hungry," she said.

"You should eat something. It'll help you keep your strength up."

"I'll catch a bite later with Corey."

"He called, by the way. He must have tried about a hundred times before I decided to answer it. I hope you don't mind."

"What did you tell him?" she asked in a panic.

"Relax. I just told him you were sleeping and he came up with his own conclusions,"
Nate assured her, watching her face intently the whole time. "So what is he? Your boyfriend?"

Rae laughed at that.

"No. He's just my best friend. We met when I was one and he was three when my mum moved down the road from their family and we've been inseparable since," she explained.

"Is that why you won't tell him?"

Rae looked away from the searching gaze.

"I told you I don't want to talk about it."

"If you pass out like this often, I'm guessing he'll find out anyway."

"Look, I'll tell him when I'm ready," she snapped. "It's none of your business anyway."

"You're right, it's none of my business. But I think you really need to tell him. When you go through the treatment, you're going to need someone there for you."

She grunted in amusement. Treatment? He was a fucking joker, wasn't he?

"What was that for?"

"Nothing," she lied as she got off the bed. "You're right. I'll tell him soon. Just don't say a word until I do, okay?"