The Boyfriend List (23 page)

But the sun was
up, streaming through the window as though nothing in the world could be wrong.
And thanks to all the memories and nightmares that had flooded her mind, Reagan
was up now too. She waited for her burning eyes to adjust before she reached
for the phone that had fallen from her fingers at some point in the night: 10:00am,
17 missed calls, five voicemails...and someone was pounding on her front door
again.

For a split
second, her heart stopped at the thought it could be Ian. A mix of dread and
hope surged through her body, and she wasn’t sure which was the stronger of the
emotions. But then she decided against it as the second knock came to the door.
Ian wasn’t the desperate type, she considered, there’d be no reason for him to
keep coming back like that. He’d probably go about his day now just like
normal, and wait to explain things when he saw her next time, as though it’d
been the most casual occurrence in the world for him to be kissing another girl
when he’d pledged his love to her.

So if it wasn’t
Ian at the door, then who was it? Throwing the blanket from her body and
dragging it in one hand as she made her way clumsily across the room, she
knocked over an end table along with two semi-freshly watered plants in the
process. Though she was willing to ignore the mess and the noise, Petra’s voice
came from deep inside her bedroom to confirm that
she
wasn’t so willing.

 
“Reagan, what’s going on out there? I’m
trying to sleep!”

Sure
, she thought to herself,
the
plant falling to the carpet wakes her up, but the banging at the door?

Once she finally
made it to the front door, she raised high up on her toes to peep through the
hole, half expecting to see a Jehovah’s Witness or some kid selling cookies to
raise money for their sports league. College students seemed to be a good
target for those things these days.

But what walked
through Reagan’s door a few seconds later was neither of those things. It
wasn’t even a groveling, apologetic Ian carrying flowers by the dozens as she’d
still hoped from the farthest depths of her heart. Instead, what walked through
Reagan’s door was a slim and attractive brunette girl who would have stood
approximately Reagan’s own height, had it not been for the five-inch wedges
adorning her perfectly manicured feet.

Typical
, Reagan thought.
I
look like beat up rag doll while my kid sister looks like she just stepped out
of a fashion magazine.

To further
complicate her mood, Reagan stared at the mountain of pink luggage – six
large bags classified as a mountain right? – that Katie had hauled up the
stairs. If anything was going to tip her life from disastrous to catastrophic,
it was the site of her perfectly groomed, perfectly beautiful sister with a
mountain of perfectly pink luggage sitting outside her door.

After she swung
the door open, she suddenly discovered she didn’t have the energy to properly
greet her. “Is it Sunday already?” Without waiting for an answer, she simply
walked away, heading back to slump onto the couch and put her head down again.
And she was lucky she’d made it that far.

“Umm...Hi?”
Katie stood in the doorway, looking around in confusion.

But Reagan
didn’t bother to get up. She didn’t have the energy to lift her head. Instead,
she pulled the blanket back around her, looking as though she might fall back
to sleep. “Hi Katie.” She called from the depths of the pillows.

Leaving her
luggage on the landing, Katie followed her sister to the couch. “Did I wake you
up? It’s almost noon. Are you sick?”

Reagan looked
up, perplexity furrowing deep into her brows as she checked the time again. “It’s
just barely ten.” She corrected her. “And it’s Sunday. Relax.”

“You look
horrible. Are you sure you’re not sick?” Then she gasped, covering her glossy
pink lips with both hands at her own revelation. “Are you having trouble with
drugs?”

“No, and no.”

“What do you
mean?”

“What do you
mean
what do I mean
?”

“You only
answered with one word, I need more details than that.”

“What is it this
week with people and details...” She muttered to herself. “Bring your luggage
in and shut the door. We don’t have a doorman here.”

Katie stood to
do that, but continued talking as she pulled the pieces in. “Well?”

Watching from
the comfort of the couch, she finally gave in. “No, I’m not sick and I’m
definitely not on drugs.”

“Are you having
problems with a guy?”

Reagan knew from
the smirk Katie threw over her shoulder, she’d meant this last question sarcastically.
But all things considered, it hit pretty close to home and cut just as deep.
The tears threatened to well up again, but she managed to suppress them. For
the moment at least.

“Not
a
guy.” The cold tone she used was an
attempt to cover up all the other emotions that were surfacing now. “Several,
it seems these days.”

“Justin?” Katie
asked.

Reagan nodded
her head. “Justin. Ian. And maybe a little Brett too, I’m not really sure anymore.”

“Who’s Brett?
Never mind. Ian?” Katie pulled her head back in surprise and placed one hand
defiantly on her hip. “What’s going on with Ian? I thought you two were
friends.”

“Yeah, we were.”
Reagan sighed, then she nearly choked on the sound of her own voice as she
continued. “Until I fell in love with him. And I thought he loved me too, but
last night I saw him kissing Isabella, so I don’t know.”

“Who’s
Isabella?”

“The slut Justin
cheated on me with.”

“What?! When did
that happen?”

“Freakin’ spring
break.” Reagan scowled. “Don’t ever do spring break when you get to college,
Katie. It messes everything up.”

After locking
the door, Katie plopped solidly onto the couch opposite Reagan, who finally began
to sit up again. Then she noticed her sister’s bottom lip was quivering and her
eyes were beginning to glisten. “Oh, Reag.”
Sniff
.
“You’re worse off than I am.”
Sniff
.

“Thanks.” She
replied sarcastically, and let her head fall heavily into her propped up hand. “How
long are you staying?”

“I don’t know
yet.” Katie swallowed her meltdown. “Couple days. Couple weeks.”

Reagan arched
her brows in surprise and threw a glance toward the pile of luggage that now
filled her living room. “That’s some heavy equipment for a couple of days.”

Katie laughed a
little and twisted a corner of the decorative pillow around her slim finger.
“Not really. Just the necessities. You should have seen it before I narrowed it
down.”

“I can only
imagine.” Shaking her head, she decided to leave the subject alone. “What do
you say we get something to eat later and we can catch each other up on everything
then, okay? I think I need to get some more rest.”

The suggestion
had seemed innocent enough as far as she could tell, but the quivering lip and
watery eyes meant Reagan had somehow hit another meltdown trigger.

“That’s what
Kyle asked right before he broke up with me.” By the end of the sentence, her
voice had grown so shrill Reagan was afraid it would crack the glass in the
window. “How could he do that?” She continued through sniffles and tears, “To
me?
Me?
I’m not dull, and I’m not
unattractive.”

Reagan looked at
Katie’s face earnestly, and decided the confession hadn’t been vanity, but
merely the simple truth and a desire to understand. Compassion started breaking
through her own numb, confused shell. “Sometimes men just don’t make sense.” And
she quickly realized she was trying to comfort herself as much as Katie.

“Tell me about
it. I feel like he broke my heart.”

“How long were
you together?”

“Two weeks.” A
sob lodged in the back of her throat as she spoke.

But it was hard for
Reagan not to laugh at the ridiculous statement. “He didn’t break your heart
then.” She hadn’t intended on vocalizing her thought, but the matter-of-fact words
had slipped out before she could catch them. Of course, she blamed it on her
exhausted state of mind. At any other time in her life, she never would’ve made
that mistake.

But she had. And
the comment was enough to make the doe-eyed Katie look like a deer in
headlights. “Excuse me?”

Oh shit
, Reagan thought to herself. The last thing she wanted
was an altercation with her sister. No more drama, no more fights, no more
misunderstandings please! Yet here she was, right on the edge of one. Regret
etched out of a voice that sounded significantly smaller now, even to herself. “He
hurt your ego. But he didn’t really break your heart.” She tried to explain.
“Did he?”

“How the hell
would you know?” Indignation was obviously very present, and while she hadn’t
intended on upsetting Katie, Reagan couldn’t help but to almost feel insulted
by the sudden shift. It was all too much – the breakup, the crazy week,
her friend becoming her love interest, then her love interest betraying her
trust, the stupid girl who had been the common factor in all the drama that
week, her sister’s personal drama... There was only so much a person could take,
and Reagan had just about reached her limit. Every insecurity she’d ever had
had been tested. Her own meltdown was approaching, she could feel it bubbling
up in her, and while she’d been trying so hard to keep it together, she could
tell the fabric of her emotional sanity was unraveling more with every second
that passed.

 
“Because if he’d really broken your heart,
you wouldn’t be all dressed up looking perfect with a thousand pounds of
luggage sitting at my door.” With the first burst of rebuttal, the tears had
begun to flow again, freely and liberally. It felt so good to let it out, yet
hurt like hell at the same time. “You’d be in bed, miserable. You wouldn’t eat,
you wouldn’t sleep, you wouldn’t think. And at the same time, you’d think too
much, over-analyzing and replaying
everything
that had happened again and again and again. And you sure as hell wouldn’t
have the energy to fix your hair and face. I’ve had my heart broken twice in
the past week,
that’s
how the hell I
know.”

To Reagan’s
surprise, Katie was perfectly still and perfectly silent for exactly ten
seconds after she’d finished – a feat that had never been accomplished
before. At least, not that she could remember. There was something in the
girl’s eyes, something about the expression on her face that acknowledged
completely – albeit regretfully – that Reagan had been right. And
therefore, she couldn’t get mad, or offended, or even argumentative. In fact,
it appeared as though she wasn’t exactly certain
how
to react. All at once her very stable and grounded half-sibling
was falling apart in front of her, and she was no more equipped to handle that
than she was her own dramatic situation. And so she let the thoughts and words
roll around slowly as she contemplated the experience Reagan must’ve had that
brought her to this point.

 
“Oh my god. You really are in love with
him aren’t you?” The pools of hazel became watery as she replied. “I mean, I
guess I figured deep down that you were the way you always talk about him. But
you really, truly are?”

“Yep.” Reagan’s answer
was absolute and undeniable as she wiped at the trickle of water that escaped
down her cheek. Laying back down again, she covered her head with a pillow.
“And I’m the last person in the world to realize it apparently.”

“Has he called you?”

“Yep.” She thought of her
seventeen missed calls and wondered if she had the emotional strength to listen
to the voicemails. Maybe she’d let Katie screen them first...

“What’d he say about what
happened?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t
talked to him.”

“But he’s called you to
talk about it.”

Lifting the pillow from
her head again, she offered a sheepish glance at Katie in reply. “I’m ignoring
him.”

 
“I can’t believe
you don’t want to hear him out at least. This just doesn’t sound like something
Ian would do.”

A little laugh escaped Reagan’s throat. “What do you know
about him?”

“Umm...everything I’ve heard from you over the past couple of
years.” Katie corrected. “Which is a lot, by the way. If everything you’ve told
me in the past has been true, and I have to believe it is, then I don’t think
he’d do this. At least not in the way that you’re thinking he did.” It looked
as though Reagan was about to object, but Katie started again before she’d had
the chance to. “No really. Stop and think for a minute. Put your emotions
completely out of the picture. Knowing what you do, does this sound like
something a guy like Ian would do to someone he loved?”

Reagan was silent as she considered this, looking down at her
phone for several long minutes. Then she glanced up, face forlorn. “I don’t
know. I’ve never seen him in love before.” Then she shrugged. “Maybe he doesn’t
really love me either. Maybe that’s just a line he used.”