The Black Mage: Apprentice (30 page)

Warmth returned to my limbs and I found that
the numbness in my legs and arms had receded. I hugged my arms to
my chest. He loved me. So I would wait. I had already waited three
years, what would a little more time be?

"Please excuse me." My voice caught. I didn't
bother to look to my brother or friend as I pushed my way through
to the hall. Faces passed by in a blur, though it was only as I
entered my chambers that I realized why.

Tears.

I might be willing to wait, but I could not
very well stand by while Priscilla paraded the boy I loved in front
of me.

****

I waited, counting out the opening and
shutting of chamber doors until I was certain the last apprentice
had returned from the palace's late night festivities. I waited for
an additional toll from the great bell tower and then stealthily
exited my chambers, careful not to slam the door and draw the
attention of any loitering servants or guards posted nearby. Most
were too busy cleaning up after the feast to notice, but one could
never be too careful.

I drew my cloak close and passed the women's
hall, continuing on past the men's and then finally up the many
flights of stairs and twisting corridors – retracing my steps once
or twice - in an effort to locate Darren's chambers.

"Excuse me, miss, no one can pass this point
without an official summons." Just as I reached the final hall I
found two guards blocking its entrance. The one who had spoken was
eyeing me with a skeptical expression and the other was tapping his
scabbard. Tick. Tick. Tick. Neither looked particularly willing to
let me pass.

I had been expecting as much. I let the hood
fall from my face so that they would recognize me as one of the
apprentices. "Please, if you could tell Prince Darren it's Ryiah, I
am sure he will make an exception."

The first guard yawned loudly. "Lady Ryiah,
if we interrupted the Crown for every person seeking audience we
would be out of a job."

"Yes, but I'm not-"

"Let her in, gentleman, I can vouch for this
one
personally
."

Every hair on my neck stood on end. I knew
that slick voice like the back of my hand. Blayne. Bells of alarm
rang out loudly in my ears but I tried not to let the panic show in
my face. Why was
he
coming to my aid? He hated me.

Something was wrong.

The guards lowered their weapons and stepped
to the side as the heir to Jerar escorted me forward. I tried not
to flinch as he tugged me along, a deep sense of foreboding as we
reached Darren's chamber. The last time the two of us had crossed
paths, Blayne had made it perfectly clear what he thought of the
lowborn girl who shared a friendship with his brother. And then I
had attacked him. Even if Darren had informed his brother of his
intentions, I highly doubted Blayne had forgiven me for
that
.

I hesitated at the door, wondering if Blayne
planned to witness my confrontation with his brother.

"Go on. Knock." The words came out silky and
dangerous, with a hint of disgust that was fully evident now that
we were past the guard's hearing. I chanced a glance at Blayne's
expression and saw the malignant curve of his lips.

Rapping twice against the dark wood I waited,
my stomach in knots. I heard the soft pad of boots against carpet,
and then the door swung open to reveal Darren, half-dressed in dark
breeches and a loose cotton shirt. Dark bangs fell to the side of
his face - but it wasn't enough to shield the guilt that flared in
his eyes for just a moment before quickly melding into cool
indifference.

Darren's mouth hardened into a small, thin
line. "What are you doing here, Ryiah?"

My whole body went cold, and for a moment I
couldn't believe it was Darren standing in front of me. There
hadn't been a single hint of emotion in his address.

"I need to talk to you." I was trying my best
to sound calm. "Alone."

The non-heir's gaze slid to his brother, and
then back to me. His expression didn't waver. "There is nothing to
discuss."

"Darren." My voice cracked.
"
Please
."

Blayne - who up until now had been a smug
spectator, leaning against the frame of Darren's door lazily -
snorted rudely. "My dear," he drawled, "my brother has given you
his answer. Pick up your lowborn pride and leave before this gets
worse. I only brought you so you wouldn't assault those poor guards
trying to get over here in the first place. I am well aware of your
temper
." He pronounced the last word distinctly.

I ignored Blayne and kept my eyes locked on
the one person that mattered. "What did they say to you, Darren?"
My pulse was racing. I could feel my heartbeat in my throat. I
swallowed and forced myself to continue. "I'll wait… If you tell me
you need more time to talk your father around-"

Blayne let out a high-pitched laugh.

"Ryiah." Garnet flames stopped me mid-speech.
"I don't want you to wait."

It was as if someone had just plunged me into
a bath of ice. "What do you mean?"

Darren was silent.

I felt hysteria rising. "Darren." I took a
step forward – ignoring his brother's sharp intake of breath - and
took the non-heir's hand. "Don't do this. I-" My voice caught. "-I
love you."

The prince frowned and looked pointedly to
his brother. "Might we have a moment alone?"

Blayne's blue eyes narrowed in suspicion, but
he stepped back with a curt glance at me. "Remember," he snarled,
"if you try anything I will have the guards over here at a moment's
notice."

I glared back at him. "I believe your brother
asked for some privacy."

Anger shot across the heir's features – but
before he could say anything in reply Darren had pulled me into his
chamber and shut the door. Then it was just the two of us facing
one another, no noise except for the quiet beating of our chests
and Blayne's pacing outside the room.

"
What are you doing?
"

"I am making the best of a bad situation."
Darren dropped my hand as he added, "It will be best if you don't
make a scene."

"A scene?" My voice was shrill. "Darren, you
told me you were leaving her! Why are you still betrothed to
Priscilla?"

"You know why."

"I thought you were tired of following
rules!" I shouted, furious. "You told me – you
promised
that
day on the ship - even if things became hard you wouldn't give up
on us!"

The prince didn't respond. I closed the
distance between us and grabbed both of his shoulders, shaking him.
"Darren, look at me!"

Darren shoved me away angrily. "What do you
want me to say, Ryiah? I made a mistake."

For a moment there was only silence.

"We aren't a mistake." Tears were burning my
eyes.

"You had to know we would never be able to
marry." His eyes were fathomless. "Even if I had somehow convinced
Father to break off my engagement to Priscilla and court you, it
never would have lasted long."

I couldn't breathe. For a moment all I could
hear was the angry pulsing of blood.

And then:

"YOU COWARD!" I picked up the nearest object
I could find – a large glass globe - and lobbed it at his head.
"YOU AREN'T EVEN TRYING TO FIGHT FOR US!"

Darren dodged the globe easily and there was
a loud shattering as millions of tiny shards misted the air between
us.

"You shouldn't have done that, Ryiah," he
said.

The chamber door swung open as Blayne and the
two guards from earlier strode in, weapons raised.

I dropped my hands and let the two men bind
my wrists, two sets of rough hands dragging me away from the
prince. "All this time I respected you for trying to prove you were
more than a prince, more than some privileged highborn!" I spat at
him. "It's a shame to find out you are no more than your father's
whipping boy!"

Darren's stopped looking indifferent – now
the expression he wore was livid. "You want to know the truth?" He
shouldered his way past the guards so that he was inches from my
face. Blayne watched the both of us with keen interest.

"I never loved you."

 "LIAR!" I wrestled with my restraints,
but the guards were too strong.

"I never loved you." Darren's laugh was cold
and unfeeling. "Did I want you? Of course, I would've been a fool
not to… But love? Well, that's just something one claims to win
certain privileges."

"
You are lying!
" I couldn't believe
him. I wouldn't. He was only trying to hurt me to make this easier.
It was like our first year at the Academy: he was protecting me, I
knew it.
He had to-

"Ryiah, Ryiah." Blayne's tone was scornful.
"Surely you know better than that. Think about it. When has prince
of Jerar ever married a commoner? Darren didn't want to court you –
he wanted to bed you." He snickered. "Why do you think he was so
quick to end things after you turned him away?"

 "No." My whole body was shaking.
"
No!
"

"I'm sorry it had to come to this."

I couldn't speak – not without bursting into
angry sobs, and I would
not
let him see me cry.

"You should leave now, Ryiah." Darren's voice
was void of emotion.

My hands trembled violently and I couldn't
stop gasping for air.
What was wrong with me?
I felt like my
chest was being ripped apart at its seams.

"Guards, take her away." Blayne had stopped
looking entertained. "This has gone on long enough."

You do not control me
. Before the
guards could drag me away I slammed a heel into each of their boots
and then bit down on my tongue until it bled, letting the momentary
pain send enough magic for my bonds to break.

Then before the men could stop me I gathered
my skirts and gave a mock bow to my audience. "Your
highnesses."

I didn't bother to wait for a reply – I ran
down the hall half-aware of Blayne's shouting and Darren's mumbled
response. I kept waiting for the sound of angry footfall behind me,
but it never came. Darren must have convinced the guards to let me
go.

"I never loved you
." I threw open the
door to my chambers and slammed it shut behind me. "
Love?"
I
threw myself onto the bed. "
That's just something one claims to
win certain privileges."

Darren was the world's greatest liar. Or I
was the worst kind of fool.

Either way there was no victory to be held.
Everything had played out exactly the way the others had warned me
it would. I had chosen to fly – was it really any wonder the fall
would be so steep? My breathing hitched and an unbidden sob tore
its way across my chest.

Then the tears came…

I wasn't sure they'd ever stop.

They did, eventually.

But that only made it worse. I was still
crying, screaming, dying inside.

I didn't remember falling asleep.

"Alright, listen up, apprentices, I don't
want you parading around like a bunch of girls at a convent because
you have an audience during today's drills. This morning's exercise
was particularly shameful."

 "Is the entire court going to be
watching all year?" The words burst from my lips before I could
stop them. I couldn't help it – for the first half of our day the
palace nobles had been everywhere. Watching the morning run and
warm ups around the practice yard, commenting during the
non-magicked weapons drills, placing bets on our prowess and
rooting for favorites… it was like our first-year trials all over
again.

The highborns had returned to the palace
grounds for lunch, but there was always the threat they could
return.

Master Byron scowled as the rest of the class
turned to watch his reply. "Yes. This is one of the court's
favorite activities when the apprenticing mages and squires are
stationed in Devon. The king himself commissions it. Do you have a
problem with spectators, apprentice?"

I bit my lip. There was no point arguing with
our training master, hadn't I learned that by now? "No."

Byron's stern gaze slide to the rest of his
audience. "Anyone else?"

Silence.

"Good. Now that Apprentice Ryiah has
withdrawn her complaint, let's resume what matters, shall we?" The
man made a face. "This year's castings will be particularly
poignant. Mentors, you will be casting on command. Mentees, I leave
it up to you to form the appropriate deflection."

"How do we know which casting to defend
ourselves with?"

I cringed as I watched the Master of Combat
turn on the second-year who had spoken, an anxious-looking girl
named Tully. His face was a mottled shade of red.

"Common sense. And practice. Lots of it. Do
not interrupt me again, apprentice." The training master glowered
at the rest of the class. "
As I keep attempting to say
,
these drills will build up your reserve to a multitude of attacks…
Given a couple of weeks I am sure most of the fourth— and
fifth-years will be ready to advance to un-dictated exchanges, but
for this first month I would like the entire faction to train
together. Now, everyone take your positions."

The class quickly dispersed and I found
myself trailing after Ella and her new mentor Bryce to the end of
two parallel lines. Both apprentices avoided looking directly at
one another as they waited for the drills to begin. I cringed
inwardly. Ella's pairing was almost as painful as mine. Bryce was
one of Priscilla's friends and shared many of her condescending
views. This morning he'd made the mistake of telling his mentee she
was a fool for consorting with lowborns. Before my brother and I
had even risen Ella had already thrown the entire contents of her
porridge into the highborn's face.

Now she had latrine duty for a week.