The Black Mage: Apprentice (27 page)

"You will never,
ever
be good enough.
Not for Darren." There was so much fury in his eyes - and now there
was anger building in me as well.

"
You don't know him!
" The words came
out harsher than I intended.

Ian ignored me, continuing bitterly:
"Whatever lies he told you, I hope the fleeting moments are worth
it, Ryiah." Then he straightened. "When he betrays you – because he
will - I hope you remember that."

I watched the fourth-year retreat angrily
into the barracks, shoving past the prince as he exited the
building. The two of them locked eyes for a single moment, and then
Ian was gone and Darren was left standing outside, watching me.

I shook my head slightly. The prince watched
me for another moment, and then sighed and disappeared back through
the barrack doors.

I felt silent tears build up in frustration.
I blinked them away. Now more than ever I needed to remain strong.
Alone.

Everything depended on these next few
months.

****

"Langli may be a beautiful city," Ella said
as her horse dipped its head attempting to steal a cluster of tall,
high grass, "but I am happy we are moving on now."

It's almost over!

I smiled to myself and let my gaze slip over
to Darren, riding a couple spots in front of the faction. He was in
the middle of a debate with Eve and Ray and a couple of the
fifth-years they were friends with. After a couple seconds he
looked back, sensing my stare, and he didn't look away.

My pulse stopped. I ached to cross the
distance between us and touch his face, his lips, anything besides
empty air.

The sensation became more desperate when I
noticed the expression in Darren's eyes mirrored my own. It was
like this every time one of us caught the other staring. Neither of
us was capable of looking away - as if there were some invisible
cord holding us in place, trapping us in a daze we couldn't break…
until Eve tapped the prince's shoulder and Darren, jumping,
returned to his dialogue with the others and his back to me.

I continued watching him, memorizing the
confident way he spoke and the way he drummed the saddle with his
long, lean fingers until Ella reached over to wave a hand in front
of my face.

"Hey," she chided, "enough of that! We've
still got a week to go before we reach Devon and I'd like to think
I'll get some conversation out of you on the way there!"

I bit my lip. "Sorry Ella."

"You are worse than your brother and I."

I raised a brow. "You two only think you are
sneaky. I know your aim hasn't gotten any better since you started
those 'late night practice sessions.'"

"Well it's not as if I am being courted by
Byron's favorite apprentice." She snorted and added quietly,
"Darren could stare at you all day and the master would deny the
entire thing. Meanwhile Master Joan catches one whiff of Alex and I
and she sends us on latrine duty for a month!"

I lowered my voice, "Darren doesn't do that."
Then I gave Ella a meaningful look. Priscilla might be out of
earshot but there was still a chance someone could overhear us. No
one could know about Darren and me. Well, Alex and Ella and Ian
knew – but the first two would never tell, and Ian was too busy
avoiding me.

Darren and I had to be very discreet. Right
now the others could only speculate. They knew that something had
happened while Darren and I were on the mission – it was obvious
since I had ended things with Ian. But what they didn't know was
what. Darren was still with Priscilla, and as far as they could
tell Darren and I had never shared so much as a word in passing
since we arrived.

Except for the staring.

On our last day on the ship we had both
agreed that the best thing to do was wait until we reached the
palace. If Darren were to publicly denounce his betrothal before
that, chaos would ensue. Priscilla's father had too much influence,
too much wealth. The king would be upset beyond measure if he found
out from an angry lord first. An exchange of letters would never
suffice. Darren needed to seek out his father in person and in
private,
before
the news breached. He needed to give his
father a chance to accept his decision before it was announced
publicly. Otherwise… I didn't want to think what it would mean if
the king refused.

It was our best chance.

Glancing back up front I saw Priscilla had
joined Darren's party. My heart sped up, angry blood coursing
across my veins as the dark-haired beauty took her place beside
him.

The prince took her hand. My stomach twisted
and I willed myself to ignore it.
He's just playing his
part
. He raised her hand to his lips. One, two, three seconds
passed.
Would the kiss never end?
My face was on fire.

Darren released Priscilla's hand, finally.
The girl tilted her head slightly to find me watching. She smiled
prettily. It took everything in me to stop myself from tearing
across the crowd and ripping the smug expression off her face.

Ella noticed my reaction. "One more week,
Ry."

I took a deep breath. She was right, of
course. One more week and then I would never,
ever
have to
see Darren's lips on Priscilla's hand – or worse, her lips.

He had warned me things wouldn't be easy,
that he would have to continue his part to keep her suspicions at
bay… But it had been one thing to hear him say those words. It was
another to see him act on them. It was hard to remember that he
wanted me - that he loved
me
- when he and I had never been
able to do so much as hold hands since we arrived back in
Langli.

Everything will change once we reach
Devon
, I reminded myself. Then it would be me, not her. I just
needed to be patient for a little while longer.

"You know Alex is worried." Ella interrupted
my thoughts. "He says you shouldn't get your hopes too high."

I frowned. "I know exactly what I am setting
my hopes for."

"He's just trying to protect you. We both
are."

"Well, tell Alex if he really cares he will
keep his opinions to himself. This isn't a mistake. I don't tell my
brother how to go about his relationships – gods only know he's
made far more mistakes than me." I immediately regretted the choice
of words when I saw the flush on Ella's face. "I didn't mean you!"
I amended quickly. "You are the one good decision he's made!"

Ella pulled away, putting more space between
our horses. "If anything, Alex's mistakes should tell you he has a
point. He knows how a man thinks, he knows how they act, he-"

"Alex isn't Darren," I interrupted. "Alex
doesn't have any idea what it is like to be a prince!"

Ella stared at me, hard. "Do you?"

I swallowed and felt my cheeks go red. "More
than him!"

Ella sighed. "I wish you would hear your
brother out, Ry. I've done my best this whole time to keep my
opinions to a minimum but you should at least consider Alex's. He's
your brother."

"When he apologizes I will talk to him."

Ella groaned. Alex and I had been feuding for
weeks – ever since he blew up in a rare moment of anger and told me
I was a fool for leaving Ian and that I was even more so if I
thought Darren would ever leave Priscilla. "You've got some fancy
notion in that big head of yours," he'd said, "and I'm here to set
you straight. You can't have everything, Ry, and this one is out of
your reach."

"I'll try and talk him around," Ella said
finally. "He wasn't right to say those things to you." She
attempted a smile. "You know Alex just wants the best for you, even
if he is making a mistake in the way that he goes about it. I think
he remembers what I told him about Blayne, and then that time when
Darren hazed you during your first year… it's hard for him to
forget that. He's your brother, and your twin, and I know more than
anything he just wants to protect you."

I glanced to the right of our procession
where the Restoration apprentices rode. I recognized Alex's
telltale sandy brown hair and broad shoulders near the back. I
straightened in my saddle and glared straight ahead.
I'm
nobody's fool
.
You'll see, just give it a week. This one
isn't out of my reach.

****

I had just handed off my reigns to the palace
hostler when I felt something soft pressed into my hand. I glanced
down at my palm and was startled to find a piece of paper folded
neatly on top. I closed my fingers over the note and looked for the
shaggy-haired stableman but he had already disappeared while the
rest of his men continued to collect the horses from the remaining
apprentices.

Curious to see what the paper said, I hurried
to my assigned chambers, locked my door, and then read the
note:

R,

Meet me at the palace gardens in one hour.
Wait near the statue of Morteus. Look for an old hag with a long,
gray braid.

-D

I snorted at that last bit. What in the name
of the gods was Darren up to? I hadn't expected to see him until he
talked to his father, and an hour was hardly enough time to have
such a serious conversation. We couldn't be seen together
beforehand, so what was he planning?

I made a quick attempt to wash from the
morning travel (the palace servants wouldn't see to the apprentices
chambers until much later that day) and then fumbled around my
luggage for the right thing to wear. I held out the dress I had
worn to the solstice ball, but it was far too nice and I had no
idea what Darren had planned. Would I even see him at all? He
wanted me to find an old woman so there was no point in dressing up
for him. Ultimately I decided on a simple blue cotton dress that
wouldn't draw attention. I pinned my hair back in a makeshift up-do
and then left to find the gardens.

When I arrived at the statue there was a
hunched figure in a red cape with a long, gray braid sticking out
the side of her hood. I approached her nervously. "Ma'am?"

The figure spun around and I gasped when the
person withdrew his hood, chuckling. It was Darren wearing a wig,
pressing one finger to his lips as he beckoned me forward.

"Darren?" I croaked.

"Gran," he corrected with a grin. He pulled
the hood back low over his face and grinned at me. "Are you ready
for a real tour of the palace?"

I scanned the gardens anxiously. "What if
someone recognizes you?"

"The only servants who know this disguise are
loyal. The rest?" He snorted. "They are too blind to see who is
right there in front of them."

"What about your father? Don't you need to
talk to him?"

Darren shook his head, still smiling. "The
king can wait." He drew a deep breath. "The second I tell him my
intentions I will be yelled at from dawn until dusk." Darren took a
step closer and took my hand in his. "Before I subject myself to
that I'd like to spend time with the girl who convinced me she was
worth it in the first place."

My cheeks burned. I still wasn't used to
Darren talking to me like… like I was special to him. Like he was
in love with me.

"Ah," he said, "there's that charming blush I
was hoping for. I was beginning to think you didn't care at
all."

I raised a brow. "Priscilla paraded you
around in front of me for three months, what did you expect me to
do?"

He grinned. "So you
were
jealous."

I glowered as he led me forward. "Of course I
was, and don't think I didn't see you kiss her back! Was it really
necessary to-"

Darren ducked under a nearby willow and
dragged me behind him.

"Darren – what are you doing?"

Darren put a finger to my lips, eyes dancing
wickedly. "But did I kiss Priscilla like this?"

When he had finished I was light-headed and
the two of us were breathing quite heavily.

Darren released me, staggering backward with
a groan. "By the gods, I forgot what that was like."

I just stared at him, unable to speak. How
was it that I could have ever thought I'd be happy with Ian? Never
once had I felt like
that
with the fourth-year.

"I guess I should take you on this tour
before someone spots us." Darren's eyes fell back to my mouth and a
wicked smile played across his lips. "If we stay here any longer,
I'm afraid I won't make a very convincing grandmother."

My whole body was a quivering mess. I didn't
want to do anything but grab Darren and let him make good on that
threat. I didn't care if we were caught. I didn't want to stop this
time. I wanted to…
What
was I thinking? Was I mad?
Focus
Ryiah!

I swallowed quickly. "Right, let's take that
tour shall we… Gran?"

Darren noticed my hesitation and grinned.
"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure!" The words came out much higher
than I had intended.

Darren chuckled. "Alright then, let's start
with the kennels – there's someone I want you to meet."

****

"So you are the girl who's put that dopey
smile on his face." A large man with a gruff voice missing three
front teeth beamed down at me. "'Course I shuda known that it could
never be that other one. His highness has never once taken
her
to meet Wolf."

Darren rolled his eyes. "Just because I
smile, Heath, doesn't make Ryiah special."

I elbowed the prince in his stomach and he
grinned. "Well, maybe a little."

"So who is 'Wolf?'" I pressed. I hardly knew
anything about Darren's life in the palace, and I was curious to
find out who this person was.

The man chortled. "Not who. What." He led
Darren and I through the building's doors to a large enclosure
where twenty hounds relaxed on comfortable oak panels. A second set
of steps led up to a second platform where even more of them slept.
Against the wall were large metal bins for food and water, and
another large door led to a grassy pasture where the dogs could
roam during certain hours while the servants supervised. The
falconry house was just a bit beyond and I could hear the angry
bird cries across the room.