The Bare Necessities (Non-Profane Edition) (18 page)

“Just go and enjoy
yourself,” Lucinda told him as she got up. “Oh, and you have a
tummy ache which is why you can't come to the restaurant.” Jack bit
his lip through his smile as he looked at the floor, and then
looked up at his aunt. “There are plenty of things that make your
miserable in this world. It's important to relish the things that
don't. I just wish someone would teach that to my damn
brother!”

* *
* * *

“Wanna cut every
copper by his f-roat, chuck 'em down watch 'em float. Kill the
effers in every town, laugh at 'em when they drown. We say, F the
Police. Kill the Police, F the Police. Murder them, Yeah, Yeah,
Yeah.”

Andre stood
motionless as their latest clients screamed into the microphone at
the large venue and he looked at his uncle. Greg scratched her
head. “You said,” the man between them shouted. “You said that they
weren't offensive.”

“They aren't,”
Greg told the organiser. “Much.”

“This is an
under-sixteens gig,” he moaned. “We had a pro-rape song earlier.”
His eyes darted around the hall and watched as several of the
teenagers sang along to the imaginative chorus that involved
repeated expletives. “This is not acceptable, Greg.”

“Yeah, I know,”
the agent snapped. “I will be having serious words with them.”

“Yeah. And this is
live on Junk FM as well. This is my name over the door. This isn't
the demo tape you sent me. You know the rules, no swearing. I don't
care what style they come here and do, no swearing.”

“I know,” Greg
muttered apologetically, and his eyes squinted on the long-haired
vocalist.

He screeched into
the microphone and yelled. “Croy-donnnnnnnn!”

Greg shook his
head. “Sorry, they are all public school educated, you know.” Andre
bit his fingernails as the band started their last song – Jesus Was
A Homo – that made Greg and the organiser incandescent.

The agent stormed
across the hall and burst into the dressing room of the punk rock
band the moment they finished their set. The members of the band
laughed when they saw his furious face. “What the hell was
that?”

“Relax. Bit of
controversy,” the lead singer laughed. “Hey, who cares, eh?”

“He's my mate. And
he's in such trouble tomorrow 'cause of you. And now I'm in the
brown stuff.”

“Hey, it'll get us
on the front page,” the scruffy singer told him. “Effin' relax. We
just done your job for you.”

Greg took a few
deep breaths. “No. Tonight, we split. I'm not representing someone
who will sing that barrel of filth to fourteen year olds.” His eyes
met the singer of the band, who cackled and shook his head.

“Then get
yourself, and your little pet poodle,” he shouted and pointed at
Andre. “And get the hell out of here.” Andre stared at him as he
walked towards Greg. “After we have our money.”

“Sod off,” Andre
shouted. “You think you are going to get paid after that?”

“I want my money,”
the aggressive man shouted as Greg and Andre backed away. The door
was slammed in their faces, and Andre turned to his uncle.

“There is still
the Bare Necessities,” he offered him. “We could get them doing
just naked gigs. Or a wonderkid at Crystal Palace called Keanu
Rice-Sotherland.”

“Oh, I've not
heard of him.”

“Yeah, well he is
eight.” Andre shrugged. “Long term investment?”

Greg groaned.
“They were our big hope,” he grumbled. “I need to see the bank to
get us more time. I can lie about our new clients to them for the
time being but we do need something. I can't keep doing it!”

“What about the
soccer kid?”

“Have a word with
his parents,” Greg replied. “But forget the naked singer. I've not
heard anything so ridiculous in all my life!”

* *
* * *

Jack watched as
his parents drove out of the driveway and ran back to his room. He
pulled out the letter to his parents; it was succinct and
clear:

Dear Dad,

By the time
you get this, I will have left Croydon for a couple of weeks. The
band and I are going on tour and this is what I want to do.

I know you
don't approve, but we can't choose what makes us happy in life and
this makes me happy.

I will be back
soon.

Love,
Jack.

P.S. Before
you think I am the only disappointment, Harriet is addicted to
cocaine and keeps her drugs in a false lid of her jewellery
box.

He wondered where
he should leave it and where it wouldn't be found by his sister,
and after considering a range of places, decided that on his
parents' bed would be the safest place.

He packed his
suitcase and ran with it to the car, having closed his curtains and
locked his bedroom door. He had already prepared all the musical
equipment to go, and had this neatly stacked up by the door of the
recording studio.

Within twenty
minutes of his parents leaving, Jack was leaving the house. He
tried dialling Claire and then Paige, but neither of them answered
his call, just as they had refused to do so earlier in the day. He
swore; he knew why they were angry at him, but how could he be
expected to make amends if they refused his calls and his texts
when unresponded to.

Claire slapped his
face when he arrived on her doorstep. “I'm having to ring and
cancel them all,” she shouted from the doorway of her terraced
house.

“No. We are
going,” he told her as he stopped her from slamming the front door
with his foot. “Didn't you get my texts?”

“What texts?”
Claire enquired and then hummed. “I put your number on my block
list.”

“Oh,” Jack
muttered. “OK, I'm sorry. But Paige and Aunt Lucinda were right, I
am too old to be told what to do. So we are off on tour.”

“I don't trust
you,” Claire said firmly. “You let us down.”

“I know,” Jack
muttered. “I know that. But look in the car. My equipment and my
suitcase are ready. I just need you and Paige.”

“Paige won't
come,” Claire barked. “I can promise you now, Paige won't come. And
you really don't want to go and see her, she'll tear you apart. She
was all for meeting you on a dark night earlier.”

“I would deserve
it,” Jack admitted and wiped his eyes. “I know I messed up, but
I've realised I messed up and I just want to put it right.” Jack
gulped. “What do I need to do to convince you to come with me?” Her
eyes narrowed, and she stretched her toes. “Eh?”

“OK. If Paige says
yes then we will go.”

“Excellent!” Jack
cried.

“But she won't,
'cause she is in bits. And I am not sure you going to see her is a
great idea.”

“Let me deal with
Paige,” Jack said quickly and smiled. “Just get packed then,” he
demanded and ran around the parked car on her driveway to get to
his vehicle. “I will go get Paige.”

“Good luck with
that,” Claire shouted and shook her head.

Jack knew Paige
was still angry with him, but there was nothing he could do, but
apologise. Apology speeches raced around in his mind as he sped
across Croydon to get to Selhurst. He parked his car in front of
Paige's family vehicle at the back of their flat and ran through
the alleyway to the High Street. He banged on the family's front
door, and Hazel answered. “I need to see Paige.”

“She's not in,”
the tall red-haired girl told him. “And she doesn't want to speak
to you anyway.”

“I really need to
speak to her, Hazel. Please”

Hazel crossed her
arms and leant against the wall in the hallway. Jack tried to see
up the stairs to Paige's home, but Hazel blocked his line of sight
and she shook her head. “She doesn't want to speak to you. You
know, she was crying earlier. And anyone who does that to my sister
…”

“I was wrong,”
Jack admitted. “Please, Hazel.”

“It's for your own
good,” Hazel snapped. “If you see her now, she'll hurt you. I saw
what she did to some bullies when they picked on me. Paige fights
dirty.”

Jack sighed. “I
need to see her,” he insisted. “I want to speak to her and …”

“She's upset. And
she's in pieces.”

Jack flinched at
Hazel's words and rubbed his hands together as he thought. “I know.
And it's my fault.” He took a deep breath and looked at the
teenager in the doorway. “OK. You know her better than anyone. If
someone really, really wanted to say sorry and would do whatever it
took to make things right, what would he have to do to get her to
talk to him?” Hazel shifted and licked her lips. “'Cause I did a
silly thing. I let myself get bullied. I was weak. But I am here,
because I want to go on tour and I want to take her to Devon or
Wiltshire, or wherever the hell Claire has said we are going
because I enjoy being with her, and rocking with her, more than
anything in the world.” Hazel wiped her eyes and shook her head.
“What do I have to do?”

“You could start
by apologising,” a voice behind Hazel said and the younger girl
turned to see Paige sitting on the stairs.

“How long have you
been there?” Jack asked.

“Long enough. I'm
waiting!”

“OK. I am very,
very sorry,” Jack admitted, and Paige suppressed a smile.

“On your knees,”
she demanded and Jack moaned that he was in the middle of the High
Street. Paige shrugged and watched as Jack got on his knees and
repeated his apology. She sighed. “How can I trust you? How do I
know you won't flake out on us again?”

“Because I am free
of my parents. We are going in my car, I have access to my funds,
and we will make money along the way. This is me. And I know you
have no reason to trust me, but I am so looking forward to the next
month. I want to go, which is why I am here. Claire is coming, if
you'll come. It's all up to you.”

Paige took a deep
breath. “OK, I'll think about it. I don't know if I can trust
you.”

Jack clenched his
fists. “We need to go now. I've run away from home. It's now,
Paige.” Jack told her impatiently and scrambled to his feet. “I've
left home and have everything ready. I just need you and
Claire.”

“Go now?” Hazel
moaned, and she looked at Paige, who focused on Jack.

“Hell!” Paige
muttered. “You're really taking the whatnot. I don't know if I can
trust you.”

“I know,” Jack
agreed. “I know I'm being unfair but we need to go now. Claire's
ready, it's just you. Please Paige, we are going to have such a
great time, I just know it. I messed up but who doesn't once and
awhile. Please, come with me! And I'll never break a promise
again.”

Paige grunted and
gulped. “Yeah come on.” Her eyes narrowed and she poked the gleeful
Jack in the shoulder. “But you break promises again and I shall
never, ever forgive you,” she warned and Jack nodded. “I mean it. I
will hunt you down and hurt you. Understand?”

“Yes,” Jack
muttered. “But come on, get ready. We need to get going!”

“You leaving me?”
Hazel asked and Paige sighed.

“You can come too,
if you want. As Band Manager.” Hazel looked uneasy, but Paige
pulled Jack into the flat and into her shared bedroom. She
frantically began adding clothes and toiletries to a case, before
retrieving a family tent that was neatly packed up.

Hazel hovered. “I
don't think I want to go,” she told her sister. “I'm not sure I'm
ready to go running around the country.”

“Will you be OK on
your own?”

Hazel bit her lip
and nodded. “Yeah. I'll be fine,” she promised. “I've been feeling
a lot better recently.”

“Well, I'll ring,”
Paige promised. “And tell Mum I'll be in touch.” Hazel nodded and
hugged her sister. “You can manage the Croydon end of things.”

Hazel giggled.
“Yeah,” she said and wiped her eyes. “Good luck,” she called out
after Paige had hugged her again, and five minutes after Jack had
arrived, he was leaving with his star vocalist.

He would be
collecting Claire, and then the Bare Necessities were going on
tour!

1. Chapter
   XIV
   

While Claire had
said goodbye to her startled parents, Paige's family were out when
she had left – with the exception of Hazel – so the lead singer got
a worried phone call from her Mum.

Claire and Jack
chuckled as Paige did her best to explain that she was going on a
crazy road trip with two people her parents thought she barely
knew, had borrowed the tent, but that she would be back soon, and
it was perfectly safe. She did not mention anything about the band
or performing naked, and Claire gave her a wry smile. Paige
promised to ring regularly, although she could tell her parents
were worried, and Paige moaned for the next twenty miles until Jack
turned on the radio. “This could be us soon,” Claire remarked. “It
could be us on the radio.”

“It will be
Paige,” Jack replied. “She's the star.”

“Will you stop
saying that?” Paige snapped. “I am not the star. We are members of
the same band when our keyboard player wants us to be, and if we
succeed then we succeed together. If not, then we better enjoy
ourselves trying 'cause otherwise there's no point.”

Claire gave
instructions to their first camp site, and location for their first
gig, in a little village in Hampshire. Paige had fallen asleep on
the back seat, and was leaning against Claire's suitcase while
Claire and Jack talked quietly. “Thank you,” she whispered to the
driver.

“What for?”

“For … coming to
your senses. This means a lot to Paige. And it means a lot to me. I
think we are going to enjoy these few weeks.”

“I hope so,” Jack
muttered and pulled up outside a yellow sign. “This is Four Oaks,
but this is a …”

“Yeah, what?”

“It's a naturist
camp site.”

“Well yes, we play
naked. It’s the perfect audience as they will appreciate our
performance.”

“But … it's
naturist!” Claire groaned, and Jack accelerated down the drive of
the camp site. Jack tried hard not to look at the naked flesh on
display as he parked the car in the tiny car park and Claire told
him to wait in the vehicle.