The Atonement (53 page)

Fifty-two

Spade was heading toward the
projects on 153
^rd
street, when Callie spotted her. Now was the time
to put her plan into action and get her revenge. She had previously
been to the police, but they were skeptical of her allegations.
They weren’t interested in the warehouse shooting because they felt
the case was closed. According to the detective, there was no
evidence that tied Jim to any wrongdoing except maybe an attempt to
buy illegal narcotics, but no drugs had been found at the scene.
Then Callie tried to tag Jim as a local dealer, but they didn’t
seem to give much regard to this accusation, either. She knew they
would take her seriously if she could produce a witness. Callie
only hoped the story she concocted would be enough to get Spade to
cooperate.

Spade was walking so fast that Callie had to
run to catch up with her. She tried to catch her breath before
talking to her to make it seem like a chance encounter.

“Hey, Spade! How you doin’?”

“Hey, Cal! I’m fine. How you? I’m seeing you
a lot here lately. You on your way to pick up your baby?”

“As always. But I also wanted to give you a
shout from Chris.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, he says hi. He would come by, but he’s
afraid to come by this way.”

“Why?”

“You know that guy you said got shot up in
the warehouse – I think you said his name was Jay?”

“Yeah.”

“It turns out he’s not dead. He’s alive and
he’s been threatening Chris.”

“Word?”

“Word.”

“Cold snap,” said Spade quietly, “But why
would Jay be botherin’ him now? Last time I spoke to Chris, he said
him and Jay had made peace.”

“I think he’s trying to get Chris to buy from
him again. But I was thinking we have to protect Chris and get this
guy off the street.”

“How we gon’ do that?”

“I was wondering if you would go with me to
the police about him. You’ve seen him before and you know what he
does…”

“Nah, nah, Cal. I can’t do that. I don’t have
a lot of positive ‘sperience with the police. I got warrants,
myself.”

Callie’s heart was gripped with fear. She had
her plan all worked out, and now it was all coming apart.

“But what if this guy ends up hurting Chris
or worse?”

“I know Chris. He’s a real smart n**ga. He
know how to keep himself.”

“Think of it this way, if you turn states
evidence against Jay, you might be able to make a deal on some of
those warrants. That way you’ll be helping yourself and Chris. I’ll
even help you pay for a lawyer if you need it.”

“Sorry, Cal. Once you get processed in, it’s
hard to get out. But like I said, I don’t think nothin’ gon’ happen
to Chris,” said Spade as she began to back away and head across the
lawn to continue to the projects.

“But…”

“Fa real – don’t worry about it. I’ma always
have Chris’s back as long as I’m livin’. There’s other ways to take
care of Jay, if he’s back in business like you say.”

“Like how?”

“You go on and pick up your baby, and let
Chris know I got him,” she said before walking away and out of
sight.

Callie began to shake with frustration and
anger. After everything she had lost, there was no way she was
going to let Jim walk off free. She had to find a way to make Jim
pay before he left for North Carolina. Then the idea came to her.
“After I’m through with him, there’s no way he’ll be going anywhere
anytime soon.”

****

“You’re late,” said Bobby as he counted a wad
of twenties.

“Sorry, but that guy you
sent me to over on 143
^rd
and Willis didn’t know when it was time to
go.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll just add it to
his bill next time. Time is money.”

“Speakin’ of money…”

“Don’t worry, I got you. Here,” he said as he
handed her a five twenty-dollar bills and three tiny bags of brown
powder.

“Thanks. You know Bobby, you always look out
for me, and now I’m gon’ do you a solid.”

“How’s that?”

“I got some information.”

“Like what?”

“I heard that Jay ain’t dead. He back on the
streets and he’s tryin’ to get an operation started.”

“Where you heard that from?”

“A friend of mine from back in the day. She
knows Way-lo. She said Jay was leaning on him to buy and she wanted
me to go to the cops and snitch to help Way-lo out, but I said I
wouldn’t do it. There’s other ways to take care of Jay, right?”

“Forget about Jay for a
minute. How do you know you can trust
her
?”

“We’ve always been cool.”

“Since when?”

“I shout at her every now and again. She a
nurse that works at the hospital.”

“She straight?”

“Yeah, but…”

“Please tell me you didn’t run your mouth to
her.”

“All I said was that I’d look out for Way-lo.
I didn’t say nothin’ bout you.”

“Good. ‘Cause I think she’s lying.”

“Her boyfriend is friends with Way-lo. They
go to church together.”

“It don’t sound right, Spade. How the hell
Jay gon’ threaten anybody as busted up as he has to be? I saw them
take ‘im out in the ambulance. He probably just got out the
hospital recently, if at all. If he leaned on Way-lo, that n**ga
could just bust him in his head or go to the cops for himself. Jay
all by himself and he ain’t got no juice no more.”

“But why would Way-lo…”

“Think, Spade!” said Bobby, who seemed to be
growing frustrated with his employee, “When was the last time you
actually saw Way-lo? Hunh?”

Spade just put her hands in the pockets of
her cut off shorts.

“That’s right, you don’t know what Way-lo
said. All you know is what she tellin’ you Way-lo said. And that’s
another thing, if Jay is going back in business, why would he lean
on somebody that done gone straight like Way-lo? That n**ga could
barely pay his bills when he was usin! Why not hit up Dray or
Passion who still usin’ and good for the money? What this chick is
sayin’ don’t make no sense. Nothin’ she sayin’ is addin’ up.”

“So why she comin’ to me with all these
stories all of a sudden?”

“Now that’s the million
dollar question right there. It sounds to me like she’s dropping
names and making up stories because she’s fishing for somethin.’
She knows about Jay and Way-lo, but she don’t
know
them. Probably using third hand
information to set up a sting. She could be a cop, or she could be
down with those dudes over in Washington Heights.”

“You think so?”

“I know so. Don’t forget, there’s a reason
why I run this and not you. You see that chick again, let me know.
Stay close to her. I’ma whisper in yo’ ear and you gon’ whisper in
hers and see what she say. And I’ma give you a little extra for
lookin’ out like you did,” he said handing her two more little bags
of brown powder.

“’Preciate you, man. You know I got you,
Bobby.”

“Your little friend gon’ learn you need to be
careful when you go fishin’. You might just catch a shark.”

Fifty-three

“Lord, I’m coming to you this morning once
again to thank you for what you have been doing for me and my
friends. You blessed us with another day and another chance to
worship you. You’ve given us our health, and strength and a mind to
serve you, and I’m really grateful for that. You’ve stood by us
through our problems and changes, and I’m just askin’ that you
continue to be with us. Be with my friends Allen and Jim, and keep
the devil’s nonsense from separating them from each other and from
you. I ask that you look out for Miko, and help her to find a good
brother who’s worthy of her. I pray for Tim and his family and that
you bless them to reconcile their differences and use Tim to bring
the rest of them to you. Please look on Chris, too and keep him on
the straight path that leads to you…”

Davis had come to the sanctuary early and was
in one of the prayer stalls of the upper room, tarrying in prayer.
He came because he felt burdened. Even though, he had dealt with
everything that he had been avoiding, there was still something
that bothered him. It was that stain, that darkness that he knew
existed somewhere inside him.

“…Lord, please deliver me from this anger and
evil that’s inside me. I’ve been dealing with this for so long and
I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve confessed it, I’ve been to
counseling and I’ve tried to make things right with those that I’ve
hurt, but…I feel like – it just won’t leave me. Please, Jesus, I’m
willing to do anything. I’m not even going to do the dating thing
anymore. Just take this thing out of me and make me more like
You…”

He continued in prayer for some time and when
he was done he sat in the stall for a few minutes just to listen
for the voice of the Lord. He knew he needed strength for the path
he was undertaking. He just wanted to lose himself in the Lord –
for Jesus to dwell in him, take over and do the work that he
couldn’t. In the midst of his meditation, he felt as if he should
go downstairs to the sanctuary. He didn’t know why, he just felt
that he should go.

Davis got up and headed downstairs. As he
reached the pulpit, he looked over all the pews and the church
seemed empty, as it usually was at this time of morning before the
service. The only other people that would be here at this time were
the elders and Pastor Bynum, all of whom spent their time in the
church offices across from the prayer room. The choir wouldn’t have
rehearsals for another half-hour or so. So Davis sat in one of the
pews and folded his hands. “So much for that,” he thought to
himself. “Maybe it was just me being restless.”

“Is everything okay?” he heard someone ask.
He didn’t have to look to know who it was. There was no mistaking
the deep baritone voice.

“Everything’s fine. I’m good.”

“You sure? You kinda look like you lost your
best friend. Seems like that’s something that’s catching around
here,” said the Pastor taking a seat next to him.

“Nah, I’m not really sad or nothin.’ I guess
it’s just the way I look.”

“It’s a new look. You’re usually more placid
and composed. For the past few weeks I’ve noticed you look like
something’s been bothering you. Kinda like the time when you came
by to talk to Tamiko.”

“Okay, maybe I have been struggling with some
things, but it’s got nothing to do with Miko. She’s a really nice
person, and I don’t want my problems to affect her. That’s all we
was talkin’ about that night. I’m not tryin’ to get with her or
anything like that.”

“You don’t have to explain anything about
that to me, Davis. I trust you. And even if you did have feelings
for Tamiko, I don’t think I’d mind if you wanted to court her.
You’re a nice young man, after all.”

“I don’t think I am.”

“Why would you say that?”

“I – It’s just – the Bible
says when you get saved old things are passed away, and all things
become new, but – sometimes I feel like the old me – the guy I used
to be, keeps hanging around.
¹
I been prayin’ about it, but
just when I think I don’t have a problem with it any more, it comes
back.”

“That’s just the flesh, Davis. As long as
we’re in these bodies, we’re always going to be subject to the
different temptations of the flesh. It’s how we handle these
temptations that matters. If you’re going to the Lord, you can
always be sure you’re going in the right direction.”

“Sometimes it seems like going to Him isn’t
enough.”

“You’re right. You have to believe in Him -
that He can and will change you.”

“I know that He’s God and He can do anything,
but when I think about my past and all the things that I’ve done, I
can’t help but think, why would He want me. Maybe this thing is His
way of rejecting me.”

“Davis, no. That’s not true.
Everyone that comes to Him, He has called to
Himself.
²
Every single one of His children is precious to Him – even
you. Forget about your past, that doesn’t matter any
more.”

“But I feel like, if I don’t hold myself to
account, I might go back there.”

“Holding yourself accountable is one thing,
but tearing yourself down is another. No one should do that. As
children of God we are supposed to see ourselves the way He sees
us.”

“You might not be saying that if you knew me
back then.”

“It doesn’t matter what you
were like back then, it who you choose to be now that matters.
Everyone has a dark side, and there isn’t anyone on this planet
that’s not capable of doing what you’ve done or worse. Think of how
the Lord changed the life of Paul the Apostle. The difference is in
the choices that we make every day. You’ve chosen Christ, so now
just keep on choosing him. Like Paul said, with every temptation,
he makes a way of escape.
³
When you choose Christ, He
will show you that open door, so you don’t have to fall to the
devil.”

“But there are times when I feel like I can’t
trust myself. I’m afraid I’ll lose it.”

“You’re not supposed to trust yourself. It’s
when you try to handle things yourself that you really do lose it.
Trust Jesus. He knows where your will and your heart are. He won’t
fail you. He loves you too much for that.”

“He loves us, but that
doesn’t mean we can get away with the things we’ve done. The Bible
says you gotta reap what you sow. David was a man that God really
loved a lot, and he had to get punished for what he
did.
⁴
Look what happened with Absalom and
everything.”
⁵