The Atonement (42 page)

“Everyone’s here. But they only let your mama
and me see you, and even then they’re only giving us a few minutes,
so we can’t stay long,” said Vernon. “But we’ll be back tomorrow,
first thing. I’ll bring you your things and we’ll git you somethin’
to eat. Right now, you gon’ rest. You got that?”

Allen nodded his head, but he kept looking at
Callie.

“I – I want – to know…”

“Whatever it is, we’ll talk about it later.
You need to save your strength. There’ll be plenty of time to talk.
You betta believe that,” said Vernon.

Finally, his eyes shifted over toward his
father, and the kindness that she had always recognized in them
returned.

“You know I love you, right?” said Vernon,
rubbing his son’s head.

“I love you, too, Allen,” said his mother,
before placing a kiss on his forehead.

“I love – you – both, too” said Allen smiling
at them.

“Love you, Al. I’ll see you tomorrow,
Okay?”

His smile faded and the intense stare
returned. Allen was silent. As Callie looked at him, her stomach
tightened into a knot. Something was definitely wrong. Even Lena
noticed it and looked back and forth between them with a look of
concern. It seemed as if he was upset with her for some reason. She
studied his face for a minute hoping to be able to figure it out,
but she couldn’t.

“I hate to interrupt, but I have to remind
you he needs to rest. His body has been through a lot,” said the
doctor.

They all bid Allen farewell and left. When
they were back in the waiting room, everyone crowded around
them.

“Is he really going to be okay?” asked
Tim.

“I think so. He was trying to talk, but I
told him, to rest,” said Lena.

“That’s a relief,” said Tamiko.

“I’ll be sure to let Mr. Hardy know what’s
going down,” said Davis.

“I appreciate that, son. Thank you,” said
Vernon

“Now, I think we all should get some rest.
It’s pretty late,” said Mother Rose.

“Wait a minute. Where’s Jim?” asked
Callie.

“He’s back at the house with Riley,” said
Lena, “I hope she was able to talk some sense into him. When we
left he was blaming himself for what happened.”

“Why would he do that?” asked Callie.

“I guess because he and Al got into an
argument before Allen got sick. I told him that didn’t have
anything to do with what happened,” Lena replied.

“I think I know what had to do with it. I
told Allen to leave off them funny drinks. That boy is just so
hard-headed,” said Vernon.

Callie’s heart leapt up into her throat.

“What were they arguing about?” she said.

“I wish I knew. All I know was Vernon and I
were asleep, then all of sudden I heard Allen yelling. When Vern
and I went down to see what was going on, Allen just fell out,”
said Lena.

“Well, we’ll sort all of that out later when
Allen gets home. Right now let’s get to bed,” said Vernon.

Callie headed with everyone toward the
elevator banks. As she waited for the elevator, she couldn’t help
being swallowed up by her own thoughts. She had a suspicion that
Allen’s response toward her had something to do with his argument
with Jim. They could have fought about any number of things, but
she hoped it wasn’t one thing in particular. “There’s no way Jim
would’ve told him about us,” mused Callie, “he’s got too much to
lose.”

The elevator came and they all piled inside.
While the others talked amongst each other, Callie was still
mulling over Lena’s words and Allen’s cold response to her. While
she was relieved that Allen was going to be okay, she was now
worried about the state of their relationship. There were
indications that she would have to repair any damage done by Jim’s
reckless words and actions. She definitely had to have some private
time with Allen and make sure they were on track. Then once she had
secured her relationship, she would decide whether or not it was
worth it to teach Jim to keep his mouth shut.

When the elevator door opened, everyone
headed toward the exit. Callie was in a hurry, because she knew she
had to be to work in the next seven hours. She dragged behind the
others pondering what she would say to Allen when she saw him
again.

“Excuse me, young lady, but aren’t you
forgetting someone?” she heard Mother Rose call out to her. She
looked over at her to see her carrying a sleeping Darius.

“I’m sorry, Darius,” she said to her son as
she took him from Mother Rose’s arms, “How could I forget about
you?”

“I guess we’ve all been through a lot this
evening,” said Mother Bynum eyeing her strangely.

“Yes. Thank you,” she said before walking
off.

Callie was startled at the fact that she
almost left without her son. Darius was one of the most important
people in her life beside Allen. Together they were a family and
Callie was determined to make sure they stayed that way.

Thirty-Nine

Lena and Vernon were bustling about the
hospital room trying to make it more comfortable for their son.
Lena was putting the flowers she had just bought into a vase she
brought from home and set them on the table near Allen’s bed, and
then commenced to fluffing Allen’s pillows. Vernon was going
through a bag of things they had brought from home to cheer Allen
up. In the midst of their activity, Allen felt as if he was going
in slow motion. Although he was better physically, his mind was
scattered and his heart felt as if someone had torn it to shreds
before setting it on fire. He saw his life as a castle built on the
edge of the seashore, with the waves crashing against it. Allen had
tried with all his might to protect the castle, but his efforts
were fruitless. Each wave took a bigger and bigger piece, bulwarks
included, until it all had become dispersed in the ocean. Allen was
not in a good mood, and the last thing he wanted to do was
entertain his parents who were looking for reassuring signs that he
was on the mend. But after all they’d done for him he’d try to do
his best acting.

“How you feelin’ now, son? Better?” asked
Vernon.

“A lot better than last night,” said
Allen.

“You don’t know how glad we are for that,”
said Vernon. Then he slapped Allen in the back of the head.

“Vernon!” said Lena.

“What was that for?!” said a shocked Allen,
as he tried to rub away the sting his father’s slap left.

“That’s for drinking them energy drinks when
I told you not to. You betta hope I don’t take my belt off right
now.”

“Vernon, must you? He’s still recovering.
You’ll bother his heart.”

“The doctors done fixed his heart. I’m tryin’
to fix that head, so he won’t end up here again.”

“Look, dad, I’ve learned my lesson. You don’t
have to worry about me even drinking coffee anymore.”

“You know you betta not. I don’t even want to
see you drinkin’ soda anymore.”

“The doctor said that for the next couple of
days, you’re going to have to take some time off. No school, no
work, no nothin’.”

“I can’t not do my school work. I’ll fall
behind again…”

“Fallin’ behind? You always told me and yo’
mama everything was okay. How you done got behind?” said
Vernon.

“Okay, I got into a little trouble in the
beginning, because I wasn’t prepared for how different law school
is from undergrad. But now that I’ve been attending the study
groups, I was catching up. I don’t want to lose that.”

“But you have to look after your health,
Allen,” said Lena.

“You should have thought about that before
you started drinkin’ that mess. And anyway you need to cut down on
all this stuff you tryin’ to do. You ain’t no superman.”

“I already gave up the Bible study.”

“The Bible study isn’t what you should be
giving up. You need to cut back on all them hours you workin’. You
can’t go to school and work no full time job and not have something
suffer. I done talked to Mr. Hardy and Davis, and they said that
they were willin’ but you the one don’t want to cooperate.”

“At the time I was thinking I needed the
money.”

“Money ain’t worth yo’ life! And I think
there are other things you need to cut back on, too. I know you
might not want to hear it, but I think you need to cut back on
seein’ that girlfriend of yours.”

“You might be right about that.”

Both Lena and Vernon looked at each other in
astonishment.

“Now, Allen, I hope you not gon’ sit here and
agree with me, then go out and do the opposite like you did last
time.”

“No, sir.”

“You betta not if you know what’s good for
you,” warned Vernon.

“Allen, what were you and Jimmy fighting
about last night?” asked Lena.

“Nothin’”

“Couldn’tve been nothin’ if you was hot
enough to wanna throw him out.”

“I’d rather not get into it right, now.”

Allen didn’t want to tell his parents what
Jim had told him because he was still struggling with himself over
whether he should believe it or not. Jim, like everyone else,
strongly disapproved of his relationship with Callie. Allen
suspected it was because he was jealous. Jim’s reaction to the news
of the engagement made it highly likely. Allen considered the
possibility that Jim concocted that lie to break them up. Then
again, Jim had never lied to him –ever, not even when they were at
odds with each other. Allen thought back to the time when he saw
Jim at the hospital and showed him Darius’s picture. He recalled
Jim’s strange reaction. “But it couldn’t be true,” thought Allen.
If it were true then that meant the woman he loved and his best
friend had betrayed him in the worst possible way.

“Why? You still angry?”

“I don’t know how I feel right now”

“You betta find out, ‘cause when you get home
we gon’ settle this. Ain’t no reason why you and Jimmy can’t put
whatever this is behind you and move on. Y’all been friends too
long to let some foolishness come between you. You hear me?”

“I hear you”

“It’s probably better that you have time to
yourself to think about things for a while. While you’re thinking,
I hope you read your Bible. It’s in that bag there. Sometimes we
need to take a step back and consider what God has to say about
things”

“I will”

“We’ll be back tomorrow to take you home. If
you need anything in the meantime, call us. Okay?”

“Definitely”

After some final hugs and kisses, Allen’s
parents left him alone with his thoughts. He kept thinking about
what Jim had said the other night. He had to know whether or not it
was true. There was only one person that could help him find out,
and with the way things were right now, he didn’t know if he could
trust her. The more Allen went over things in his mind, the more
depressed he became. There were so many questions that he had and
he didn’t know if any of them would or could be answered in a way
that would satisfy him. In the midst of his meditation, he heard a
knock at his room door. Not long after that, Callie eased the door
open, and peeked in smiling at him uneasily.

“Hey, Al” said Callie.

“Hey”

She rushed over to hug him, but Allen
wouldn’t return the embrace. Callie pulled away and they looked at
each other for a moment. Allen could sense that she had been
unnerved by the change in his demeanor. Her eyes seemed to be
pleading with him in a way that made her appear guilty.

“I brought you flowers,” she said handing
them to him.

“I see. I didn’t expect to see you until
later,” said Allen, tossing the flowers on the bed tray.

“There was no way I could go to work, without
checking in to make sure you’re okay,” she said taking his hand and
sitting beside him. She squeezed his hand, but Allen wouldn’t
squeeze back. “When I heard you’d collapsed, I thought they’d have
to take me in next.”

“Hmmm.”

“You are okay, right?”

“Yeah. Don’t I look okay?”

“You seem like you have something troubling
on your mind.”

“Lately my mind has been full of
problems.”

“Your mom told me you were arguing with Jim
before you collapsed. Is that what’s bothering you?”

“He laid something on me that I’ve been
having a hard time dealing with.”

“What was that?”

“First, he said he wanted to move away to
North Carolina. Next week in fact.”

“Really? Knowing how close you two are, I
guess you weren’t too thrilled to hear that.”

“I wasn’t really upset, just shocked. It was
kind of weird that he wanted to leave so soon after getting back,
but I was okay with it. The thing was, I told him that I was hoping
he would stick around for our wedding.”

“You told him about our plans?”

“I wasn’t meaning to. It came up in
conversation. Anyway, he wasn’t happy with the idea of me getting
married, especially to you.”

“Why’s that?”

“He said I shouldn’t trust you.”

“What on earth?! I can’t believe Jim would
say something like that!”

“Neither could I.”

“You know he’s just hating on our
relationship because he’s jealous. He sees you making progress in
your life, while his is falling apart, so he wants to sabotage you.
He’s trying to cause problems in our relationship so you’ll be as
miserable as he is. I told you this would happen.”

“That’s what I was thinking, but…Callie, I’m
going to ask you something and I want you to look at me when you
answer.”

“Go ahead.”

“Is Jim Darius’s father?”

Callie’s eyes grew wide with apprehension,
and the hand that had been holding his started to tremble.

“Did he tell you that?” she said looking
away.

“Look at me, Callie. I want a straight
answer.”

She looked back at him again.

“Allen, you know me better than anyone. What
do you think?” she said, tears dropping from her eyes like the
start of a spring shower. Her evasiveness had already given Allen
his answer, but he would make her say it.