The Anal Sex Position Guide (4 page)

One of the most common fears about anal sex is that it won’t be a clean affair. After all, your butt was built for waste management, and who wants to hang out in the trash, right? Yes and no. When we have a bowel movement, feces stored in the colon pass through the rectum, down into the anal canal, and out the anus. Note, that the colon is the storage area and the rectum and anal canal are pathways. So, your first step is to regulate your digestive system and have a bowel movement before anal play. People with enough fiber in their diets tend to have healthy digestive systems that produce regular bowel movements, meaning that all fecal matter is solid and passes out of the body leaving little behind.

Bowel movements that are either too loose and runny or too firm do not leave the body as cleanly and may cause more matter to be present in the anal canal and rectum.

In addition to your gastrointestinal health and bathroom habits, washing up is always a good idea. Take a warm, soapy shower or bath before your sex date to make sure your genitals are clean. You can even slide a soapy finger into your anus. Treat your ass as you would your genitals, and always use the mildest soap you can on the delicate tissue of the anus and rectum—preferably castile or pure glycerine. Body washes and shower gels contain fragrance, dyes, and other chemicals that will likely irritate you. A trip to the bathroom and a shower will go a long way toward insuring relatively clean anal penetration.

I say “relatively clean” because I want you to be realistic. There are no guarantees in life, and some amount of fecal matter may be present in someone’s rectum. If you’re in there, you may, well, run into it. Don’t be alarmed! Sometimes, sex is messy. Wipe it up, shrug it off, and move on. If you’re really concerned about messiness, you may opt to have an enema before anal penetration.

Think of an enema as a douche for your ass: you rinse your ass with warm water to loosen up fecal matter, stimulate bowel movements, and clean out the anal canal and rectum. The simplest kind of enema is a disposable plastic bottle (found at drugstores) or a reusable rubber bulb syringe enema (available at sex and fetish stores). If you buy the drug store kind, though, I recommend you dump out the liquid that comes in it, rinse out the bottle several times, then refill it with plain warm water. All store-bought enemas (including Fleet and other brands) contain a laxative. Laxatives (which can also be taken in pill form) soften the stool and stimulate bowel movements, and people use
them to help alleviate constipation. Most folks who want to engage in anal play have an enema to ensure that their rectum is cleaned out; they are not using it to clear a blockage. Using a laxative when you aren’t constipated will induce a very runny bowel movement, disrupt your system, and may even irritate the rectum.

Whether you use the disposable bottle or the reusable bulb syringe (which is made of thicker, durable rubber, is not pre-filled with any liquid, and can be rinsed out and used again), the process is basically the same. Find a comfortable position. Some people like to squat over the toilet; you can lie on your side with one leg up or get on your hands and knees. Squeeze the water into your ass, hold the water until your body tells you it’s time to go, then have a bowel movement. Or you can fill the bottle, empty it into your ass, refill it, empty it into your butt again, then hold it for a few minutes until you feel the urge to go. Repeat the process until all that comes out of your ass is plain water.

You can also use an enema bag system. This requires the bag, tubing, a clamp, and a nozzle (sometimes sold all together in a kit at the drugstore), and is a little more complicated. Because the bag holds up to two quarts of water, some people say they get a deeper cleaning with an enema bag. It’s your choice.

• Always use warm water. Cool water will cause cramps and discomfort.
  
• Only use plain water. Additives can irritate the rectal tissue and things like alcohol or caffeine can actually make you sick.
  
• Drink a glass of water or a sports drink after because you may get dehydrated.
  
• Allow at least two hours between the end of your enema and the start of anal play. This gives your body a chance to recover and you time to make sure you’re all cleaned out.
  

The ass is not self-lubricating, so you absolutely need lubricant for anal penetration of any kind—not just intercourse—to be comfortable and pleasurable. Vaginal juices and spit alone will not provide enough lubrication for the job at hand! You need a lube designed for sex, and you can choose from the wide variety sold at sex shops and drugstores. I recommend either a water-based lube or a silicone-based one, and there are dozens of brands of each type.

Water-based lubes are nonstaining, easy to clean up, and come in a variety of brands with different ingredients, textures, consistencies, and tastes. They are compatible with all sex toy materials as well as safer sex barriers such as latex and non-latex condoms.

Be aware that a high percentage of water-based lubricants contain glycerin, which can cause problems for some people. Many women find that glycerin can cause a vaginal yeast imbalance or a yeast infection; while this doesn’t affect anal play, they prefer to use one lube for both so they opt for one without glycerin. Some people find that lubes with a high glycerin content can stimulate bowel movements and prefer not to use them for anal penetration. Fortunately, there are a growing number of glycerin-free lubes on the market (some are also paraben-free). Water-based lubes cover the spectrum in terms of consistency: They can be thin and liquidy, medium thickness, or super thick. While any lube will facilitate penetration, thicker lubes that have a consistency similar to that of hair gel are great for anal play. They tend to stay wet longer and they form a slightly cushioning layer on top of the delicate rectal tissue. (See sidebar for some recommended brands.)

Keep in mind that if you plan on putting your mouth where your hands, toys, or a penis has been, you should select a lube you don’t mind the taste of. Some water-based lubes, for example, have a bitter or chemical taste that really turns people off. You can always pick one of the many flavored lubes on the market, but a taste test of sample sizes is definitely in order to find one you like.

One of the latest trends in the water-based lube marketplace is warming lubes—lubes that create a warming sensation on contact. Nearly all the major brands have produced one. The main ingredient differs: It might be Acacia Honey or a derivative (as in Astroglide Warming Liquid, Wet Warming Lubricant, and KY Warming Liquid); menthol (as in ID Sensation, Hot Elbow Grease, and the glycerin-free Sliquid Sizzle); or, the most natural of them all, cinnamon bark (as in Emerita OH). The honey or
menthol creates a warming sensation that sends blood rushing to the genitals, which helps the arousal process. As with lube in general, whether you like it is totally a matter of personal preference. Some people find the sensation to be very subtle, while some say they love how it makes their privates tingle; others say the feeling is like sticking Ben Gay in your butt (way too intense, in other words). Some like these warming lubes for vaginal penetration but find the feeling too overwhelming for anal penetration. I recommend you get a sample size or two and experiment to see if you like the feeling.

Lubricants made with silicone are gaining in popularity and include such brands as Eros, Eros Gel, Astroglide X, Swiss Navy Silicone, System JO Original, Sliquid Silver, Gun Oil, Wet Platinum, KY Intrigue, and ID Velvet. Silicone lubes are nonstaining and often flavorless; they are more expensive than water-based ones, but you use a lot less of them because they don’t dry up as easily. They tend to be super-concentrated and a little bit goes a long way. Many people prefer the slick texture of silicone and the fact that it doesn’t get sticky or tacky as some water-based lubes can. Others report that silicone’s slick texture allows too much friction to make it ideal for anal sex. Silicone lubes work with condoms and other safer-sex barriers as well as certain sex-toy materials, like rubber, glass, hard plastic, and metal. However, silicone lubes are incompatible with silicone sex toys and will ruin them. So if you’re a fan of silicone sex toys, you either need to cover your toys with condoms to protect them or use a different kind of lube. Silicone lube is perfect for sex in a shower or bath since it stays slick underwater, while water-based lubes don’t.

When using lube, you want to coat whatever you are planning to insert—a finger, a toy, a penis—in lube, then slide it inside. Be generous with water-based lubes and remember that they will eventually dry up, so be prepared to re-lube and add more periodically. You need less silicone lube and it shouldn’t dry up at all, although, as the action gets going, have it handy in case you want more. It’s a good idea to have a box of baby wipes nearby to clean up lube spills and other mishaps.

If you find that you can’t get enough lube to go where you need it to, there are two products on the market that are designed to do that very job. The Astroglide Gel Shooter is a soft plastic tube of Astroglide Gel with a long flexible neck. Tear off the top, slide the neck inside the ass and squeeze. Voila: lube right where you need it! The Lube Shooter is a disposable plastic syringe with a flared base for safety. You can fill it one of two ways. Remove the cap on the tip, put the tip into a bottle of lube, pull the plunger up, and draw the lube into it like a syringe. Or remove the plunger and pour your favorite lube into the barrel (this can be a little messy), then replace the plunger. Once it’s filled, lube the tip of the syringe and gently insert it into the ass. Push the plunger down gently to release the lube. You can refill it and repeat.