The Adventurer (20 page)

Devon jerked as if he’d been slapped. “How am I looking at you? “

Jessica was stung by his crushed expression. Her anger drained away as suddenly as it had appeared, leaving her hollow inside. She sighed. “You’re looking at me like I’m a pitiful puppy, abandoned on the road and left for dead. ” Devon hooked his thumbs in his jeans pockets, rocked back on his heels and stared thoughtfully at the ground. When he looked up again, his eyes flashed with indignation. “i’ll plead guilty to being sympathetic. If that’s a crime, shoot me. But if you think I’m here for a pity party, you’ revery much mistaken. “

“Which brings up the same point, ” she replied tartly. “

“Why are you here? “At the moment, I’m asking myself the same question. I didn’t spend six hours on the road so you could insult my motives. ” He was so clearly exasperated, so endearingly irked that Jessica could barely bite back a smile. ” “I would love to insult your motives. Unfortunately I don’t know what they are. ” Devon continued to stare grumpily at his shoes. “You are without a doubt the most aggravating woman I’ve ever known. “

“I’ll take that as a compliment. “

“You would. ” He peeked up, squinting into the lateafternoon sun. “So, can we call a truce here or what? “

“We’re not at war, Devon. “

“You could’ve fooled me. ” She looked away, pricked by guilt. “I’m sorry. When I’m upset, I tend to get a bit surly. But you’ve come all the way up here trying to be nice and I’ve treated you badly. I apologize for that. ” “I am not trying to be nice. ” Devon took hold of her shoulders and gave her a gentle shake. “Listen to me, Jessica I’m here because I want to be with you. Don’t ask me why. All I know is that I spent yesterday wandering around like a lost soul, wondering where you were and what you were doing and why you wanted to do it without me. ” Her eyes widened. When she started to speak, he touched a finger to her lips. “Look, maybe I have been insensitive, bursting in like this and violating your privacy. I should have picked up a clue from the third degree your parents just gave me but it wouldn’t have mattered. They got the message that I wasn’t going to leave without seeing you. ” ‘ Jessica angled an involuntary glance toward the house. “

“So that’s why Frank sounded so tense. “

“Yeah. For a while there I thought he was going to fold me in half and dump my bleeding body in the street. ” “I don’t believe it, ” she murmured, astounded by the image of her prim and proper stepfather locked in confrontation with anyone, let alone a man of Devon’s considertheadventurer able stature. “Frank can’t even close the door in a salesman’s face. ” “Evidently he didn’t consider the salesman to be a threat to his daughter. ” Devon released Jessica and rubbed the kinks out of his neck.

“Not that I blame the guy for being protective. That’s what fathers do.

The truth is that I found Frank to be pretty likable, in a stoic sort of way. Devon slid a covert glance toward Jessica and saw she was looking at him as though he’d sprouted antlers. For all he knew, he might have. He was too numb to tell. Ever since learning about Jessica’s secret, Devon had been thrashing through a mental fog. This morning, he’d finally stepped into the sunshine. Everything that had happened over the past weeks suddenly made sense-her frequent fatigue, the stupid head scarf she’d used to tie on her wig and the way she’d shied away when his touch when it became too intimate He also remembered how pale she’d been during their grueling motorcycle tour of the desert and could have kicked himself for having put her through it. If that hadn’t been bad enough, he’d dragged her out in the middle of the night and practically thrown her into the icy surf. In her weakened state, she could have come down with pneumonia. The thought scared him half to death. The bottom line was that his friendship had damn near killed her. That he’d never again subject her to such physical jeopardy was little consolation. If anything had happened to Jessica, he wouldn’t have been able to bear the guilt. Or the pain of having lost her. Now, as she absently chewed her lip in adorable, childlike fashion, his heart was so full he feared it might burst. He wanted to sweep her into his arms and fight the world to keep her safe. He’d glimpsed vulnerability beneath her veneer of staunch independence and found a woman who yearned for love; a woman who needed him.

But not necessarily a woman who wanted him.

He jammed his hands into his pockets to keep from touching her. “If you tell me to leave, I will. ” He held his breath while she considered the option. After several incredibly long seconds, she lifted her cap, wiped her forearm across her brow and gave him a penetrating stare. “Do you like lasagna? “

“ljh… sure. “

She settled the cap back on her head and squinted toward the sea. “Then you might as well stay. ” After dinner, Jessica guided Devon to a rocky bluff overlooking the ocean. They stood silently for a while, watching the reflection of a fuchsia sunset riding distant swells. Devon reached down and took her hand. “The view is spectacular, ” he said.

“I can’t imagine growing up surrounded by so much natural splendor. “

“I didn’t exactly grow up here. My parents bought this place while I was in college. Before that we lived in a subdivision over there. ” She pointed toward a cluster of rolling hills a few miles to the east. “We couldn’t see the ocean but it was only a short bike ride away. “

“Did you spend a lot of time at the beach? “

“I practically lived there during the summer. The rest of the year I went every weekend that it didn’t rain. And Mom would always show up around noon, carrying a little sack lunch for me. “

“You’re kidding. Every day? “

“Hmm. That way she could make sure I was okay without seeming overprotective. I’d have been mortified if my friends thought she was checking up on me. “

“Sounds like you’ve always been an independent little cuss. “

“To a fault, I’m afraid. Fortunately-or unfortunately, depending on one’s point of view-my mother has always indulged that side of my nature with subtle guidance, after which she’d charitably allow me to believe that I’d made my own decisions. “

“Aysla seems like a very special woman. ” ‘

“She is. ” Jessica gazed at the brilliant horizon, remembering other sunsets she and her mother had watched from this very spot. During those times, however, Jessica hadn’t been particularly enthralled by a sky smeared with crimson and wispy clouds splashed with magenta reflections of the setting sun. The beauty had been dimmed by the pain of recent surgery and fear of the future. But Aysla had never allowed Jessica to give in to those fears or to the depression that had seemed so overwhelming. Instead, she’d reacquainted her daughter with the small joys that made life a treasure to cherish rather than an ordeal to be endured. As Jessica recalled details of her mother’s staunch support , she didn’t realize that her thoughts had become words. “I could never have gotten through it without her. “

“Through what? “

Blinking, Jessica looked up and was instantly lost in Devon’s gentle eyes. “Through everything, ” she murmured’ The surgery, the emotional aftermath-you name it, she got me through it. ” Devon lifted her hand to his lips. He delicately kissed each knuckle, then pressed her palm to his cheek in a gesture so gentle and loving that it brought tears to her eyes. “I don’t know Aysla very well, but I doubt she’d take that much credit. You were the one who suffered. God, I can’t even fathom what you must have gone through. “

“Please… you make me sound like Joan of Arc. “

He kissed her palm once more before releasing her. “In my eyes, you are. “Heavens, no. ” She emphasized the denial with a vehement shake of her head. “Nothing could be further from the truth. When I was first diagnosed, I was scared out of my mind. I screamed and cried and railed like a thwarted child. I kept asking “why me? ” After a while I realized that I was never going to get an answer because there wasn’t one. Cancer doesn’t ask for volunteers.

I had to deal with it because I didn’t have any other choice. “

“And you have dealt with it. ” ‘

“Correction-I am dealing with it. “

The sudden fear in his eyes cut her to the quick. “

“But it’s gone, right?

You’re cured. ” “I hope so. The signs are all good. I was very fortunate that the tumor was still quite small and there was no evidence that the malignancy had spread. But cancer cells are insidious little devils. Even with aggressive radiation and chemotherapy treatments, a few cells occasionally escape.

Devon looked sick. “What exactly does that mean? “

“From what I understand-and from a technical aspect, I don’t understand all that much-sometimes they tuck themselves away and go dormant for a while. “

“How long is awhile? “

She shrugged. “It varies but after five years without a recurrence , the patient is usually considered to be cured. ” “Five years ?” His incredulous expression melted into one of absolute horror. ” You have to live with this for five yean? ” “It’s not as bad as it sounds. Naturally, I’ll have to be meticulous about scheduling routine tests and physical examinations The truth is that by taking such good care of myself, I’ll probably end up healthier than those people who are more likely to have regular checkups of their cars than of their bodies. ” Devon seemed unconvinced by the assurance. He studied her face, gazing into her eyes with a power that shook her to the soles of her feet. Then he suddenly embraced her, cradling her against his chest as if she were more precious than gold. She melted against him, enveloped by his heat, his strength, the safety of his loving embrace. All she could think about was how extraordinary this moment was. It hadn’t been so long ago, during the height of indignity and despair, that Jessica had feared she’d never again feel the warmth of caring arms or the rhythmic throb of a masculine heartbeat pulsing against her cheek. She pushed away a tiny doubt about Devon’s motives , whether he felt sympathy or compassion or even pity didn’t matter anymore. All that counted was the gentleness of his touch, the yearning she’d recognized in his eyes. He not only cared about her, he wanted her the way a man wants a woman.

The wondrous realization made her want to weep with joy.

Even now, as Devon reverently cupped her head, he stroked her silky new hair as though it were a velvet crown. She shivered, not from cold but from the tingling tenderness of his touch. It had been so long, so achingly long since she’d felt such inner peace. And yet there was a vague elation stirring inside her, a euphoric premonition that something wonderful was happening, something that would change her life forever.

She went limp inside, giving in to a convergence of arousing sensations.

Devon’s unique scent surrounded her , an intoxicating blend of subtle spice and musky man. She breathed deeply, taking that ethereal part of him deep into her lungs and holding him there, beside her heart, until reluctantly forced to let him go. She exhaled slowly, dizzied by the unexpected intimacy, and greedily repeated the process to absorb more of him into herself. The experience was incredibly erotic. ” Devon moved against her, dipping his head until the moist heat of his breath warmed her brow. His mouth rested against her forehead, a feathery kiss that seemed too fragile to be real. “Thank you, ” he whispered.

Startled, she twisted to look up at him. “For what? “

“For being a fighter, for not giving up no matter how difficult things were. ” He tilted her chin up with his thumb. “Thank you for hanging on until I could find you. ” ‘ Then his mouth touched hers in a kiss so sweet, so filled with love that she feared her heart might explode from sheer happiness. Her chest throbbed; her knees buckled; her mind swirled with kaleidoscope colors. The effect was both thrilling and terrifying, yet she clung helplessly, praying the sweet moment would never end.

But it did end. Devon suddenly stepped back, looking stunned and shaken.

Had he not been holding her up, Jessica herself would have sagged to the ground in a quivering puddle. She took a ragged breath, then another. The numbness dissipated slowly. When her limbs had gained enough strength for support, she released her death grip on the front of his shirt and made a game attempt to stand on her own. Beyond the expansive lawn, perhaps a hundred yards away, a graceful curve of twinkling lights outlined the footpath of her parents’ garden.

Jessica managed a limp smile. “We should probably go back to the house.

Devon didn’t return her smile. He simply stood silently, his gaze penetrating so deeply that she could almost feel its touch. “Have I been out of line? ” “No, not at all. ” She absently fanned her face with her hand. “It’s just that the bluff can be dangerous after dark, when you don’t have a clear view of the edge. There have been accidents. “

“Here, on your parents’ property? “

“No, thank heavens. But farther down the ridge where the public has access to the beach, there were a couple of incidents before the county finally put up a fence. ” As she spoke, Devon automatically tightened his grip on her arm and guided her away from the cliff. When they were a safe distance away, he stopped and pivoted to face her.

“Jessica, I…” The anguished words evaporated like so much sea spray.

Alarmed by his sorrowful tone, Jessica laid her palm intimately against his chest. His heart was racing. “What is it, Devon? What do you want to say? ” Tilting his head back, Devon appeared to be staring at the moonless sky but night shadows concealed his expression, along with any emotion that might otherwise have been revealed He issued a poignant sigh. “I don’t know what I want to say. Everything’s all jumbled up in my head. ” That kind of bewilderment was something Jessica could relate to. “I know the feeling. Sometimes everything seems so disjointed that I wouldn’t recognize a cognizant thought if I had one. ” She chose not to mention that this was definitely one of those times. Ikvon studied her face for a moment, then slid a possessive arm around her shoulders. They walked the gilded path in silence, stepped through the cotoneaster hedge and followed the paved walk to the circular fountain in the center of the garden. Light bulbs concealed beneath the brick rim illuminated the arching water, which swirled up from the crystal pool like an aqueous ballerina. Echoing through the settling mist, the fountain’s soothing gurgle joined other sounds of night-a chorus of chirpy crickets, the rumbling croak of a hopeful toad and the muted moan of the eternal sea. Devon seemed transfixed by the fountain’s dancing water iys getting late, ” he said, still staring at the twinkling display. ” I should be leaving. “