Tethered (49 page)

I had not seen or spoken to Emmet since that day in Louisiana, but I had sent him a card when he graduated from college. He had started law school and he was actually working for a paycheck at the attorney’s office a few days a week. I still missed him and I still felt tethered to him, but I went on with my life and was glad that he was moving on with his.

Sometimes I could feel him close by, and I never knew if I was imagining things or if he was somewhere in the city. Once, I swore I caught a glimpse of the back of his head, but by the time I made myself move to go after him he had gone, but the bind between us had felt alive and jittery, so I have every reason to believe it was really him. I was desperate for the day when it wouldn’t hurt either of us for me to pick up the phone and call him. I was eager to find some kind of common ground between us so that I could have him in my life again, even if on a very small level. I had been tolerating living without him, but I wasn’t sure how much longer I could tolerate it. There were some things in the world that were simply intolerable and living without your soul mate is one of them.

Earlier in the year when I was concentrating on fixing myself, out of want of something to do with my hands besides smoke a cigarette or lay around thinking about Emmet, I picked up a pencil and a notepad and started sketching. I sketched clothing designs for women, men, and children. I wasn’t much of an artist, and I wasn’t even sure if my designs were any good. I hadn’t planned on showing anyone, but I had found that the hobby was soothing and relaxing. I started carrying sketching pencils and a sketch pad with me when I traveled. On an airplane ride, for example, while everyone else was sleeping or trying to read a book, I would have my pad on my lap and my ideas would float from my mind right onto the paper via my fingers.

Even as I rode in the back of the cab on the way to the penthouse, I was sketching in dim light, but as we got closer to Times Square and traffic became thicker, I put the pad and pencils away and had the driver let me out several blocks away. My bags were heavy, and chances were that any good pickpocket would relieve me of half of my belongings before I got to the penthouse, but it was a risk I was willing to take as I pulled my hat down over my ears and forged ahead.

As I took the elevator to the top floor a grueling forty-five minutes later, I wondered where Emmet was and who he was with. I wondered if he was out in the streets of New York waiting for the ball to drop with some of his friends from school. I even wondered if Stella was with him, but the idea didn’t bother me like it would have in the past. I felt a pressure in my chest that indicated that Emmet was near, but neither Felix nor Emmy had mentioned anything about having Emmet at their party. Besides, Emmy and Emmet rarely spoke anymore, and whatever friendship he had been forming with Felix when Emmet and I were together dissolved along with our relationship.

I bypassed the entrance to the penthouse and headed down the hall toward my apartment. There was no denying there was a major party happening behind the penthouse doors. The music was blaring, people were loudly chattering, laughing, and yelling and there was a distinct sound of glasses and beer bottles clinking. After my long flight I wanted to take a quick shower and change into something festive before joining the party. I still had about an hour before the ball began its descent and it wasn’t like I had far to go. Pushing the discomfort in my chest out of my head, I took a quick shower and slipped on a blue sequin baby doll mini dress I had been dying to put on. I made quick work of putting my hair into a messy, but fashionable bun, hastily put on a subtle amount of makeup, and then pushed my feet into my favorite designer black pumps. I gave myself a quick spin in the mirror and headed next door.

As I moved through the crowd in search of either Felix or Emmy, anxiety fluttered through my chest. People I knew stopped me to talk, but I could barely hold a conversation over the loud music and the loud thudding of my heart. By the time I spied Felix and Emmy on the other side of the room I was having some trouble breathing. It was as if I was on the verge of a panic attack, but with no trigger. There were no less than a hundred and fifty people jammed into the penthouse, but I was used to parties like this one. The close proximity to all of the other bodies shouldn’t have bothered me at all.

Maybe you’re just tired,
I told myself.
You’ve been up for thirty hours
.

I didn’t care how tired I was, I was going to push through whatever psychological thing I was going through and watch that damn ball drop with my friends. I had given them so little of my time over the years, I wasn’t about to give this up.

I was only about six feet from Emmy and Felix. They had both spotted me and looked excited to see me. Emmy waved me over to where they were standing and I started to take a step, but something stopped me. It was as if someone had physically prevented me from taking another step towards my friends. I put a hand to my chest to battle the evil butterflies flipping out in there and then slowly turned my head to look over my shoulder.

“Emmet,” I whispered to myself when I saw him staring at me from the other side of the room.

I couldn’t figure out how he did that, how he always managed to draw me right to his gaze no matter how many bodies were between us. Hell, I could have probably found his gaze across a sold out football stadium.

Emmet gave me a small nod. I nodded back and then somehow found my feet and made them move towards Emmy and Felix. I allowed hugs and kisses and questions about my trip and work, but I really wanted to ask them what the hell Emmet was doing there, but it really wasn’t my place. He and Felix were on good terms despite their lack of friendship and he was still Emmy’s brother despite the rift between them, so I didn’t ask. I pretended that it didn’t bother me. I tried to pretend he wasn’t there at all, but that was impossible. Every time he moved, I felt a tug on the line and I was forced to look up and meet his eyes. There was not one time that I looked for him and did not find him already watching me, oblivious to the people talking and laughing around him. With every glance, my eyes stayed fixed on his a little longer than the time before, until I was no longer glancing, but simply gazing. His green eyes burrowed into me and sent waves of warmth spreading beneath my skin.

When I was forced to look away to acknowledge someone’s attempt at conversation, my eyes constantly flickered back to Emmet’s. It seemed that he didn’t turn away from me even when someone was trying to get his attention. He was ever watchful, like if he stopped staring at me I would disappear. I could relate because every time I looked away I felt a small panic that when I looked back he would not be there and that I had imagined the whole thing.

When there was only a few short minutes left of the twentieth century, Emmet called to me. Not with his lips, and not with a wag of his finger. His eyes implored, but more than that, I felt as if he was tugging on the tether, his heart calling mine, and in that moment I knew I would always answer, I would always obey.

As the bulk of the party turned towards the wall of glass for a view of the ball, I started to push through the small sea of bodies, following the tangled soul-infused rope to the man it was attached to. I lost sight of Emmet when a few drunk, large men moved in front of me. They were cast members in Felix’s play. I couldn’t remember their names and at the moment I didn’t care to even as they blocked my path to make small talk. They couldn’t understand why I would want to move away from the focal point of the party. In a bit of a panic, I looked around them and myself to find an easier route to Emmet, but there were people everywhere. It seemed as if the party had grown exponentially since I first arrived less than an hour before. Having this many people in one room had to be some kind of fire and safety violation, but I would happily burn alive at midnight if I was burning in Emmet’s arms.

With only a minute left, the excitement grew as the ball began to drop outside. I turned my head to see the enormous glittering globe beginning its descent with sadness, because I didn’t think I’d make it to Emmet in time. I had started to second guess whether or not he had actually summoned me or if it was something I had wanted so badly that I imagined he had. Why hadn’t he met me halfway if he really called to me?

My body went lax as I gave up, believing that I had definitely conjured the entire thing. I was beginning to wish that there were a pair of sheers large and sharp enough to cut through that invisible thread when a hand closed over my arm. Before I could even turn to see who had grabbed me, I was being pulled through the crowd at top speed. When we broke through the crowd, Emmet took my hand into his and together we hurried down the corridor that led to my apartment. With only fifteen seconds left to spare, we burst into my apartment and rushed over to the glass. We both looked out at the ball hanging over thousands and thousands of people counting in one loud voice. When the ball stopped a tremendously loud chorus of Happy New Year was heard from the streets below and the party next door. Emmet looked into my eyes and I knew in that instant that I had not imagined what I felt.

“Happy New Year, Donya,” he whispered on my lips.

“Happy New Year, Emmet,” I whispered back.

His mouth sweetly took mine as one hand pressed against the small of my back and the other gently held my face. My arms wrapped around his waist as my tongue lovingly met his.

Auld Lang Syne
was being sung by thousands and thousands of people as horns blew, noisemakers clanged loudly, ticket tape floated through the air, and fireworks were going off above the Jumbotron. So much was happening around us, but I only knew it because I saw the news footage the following day. The only thing I heard was our low moans. The only thing I saw was blissful darkness because my eyes were closed as I held onto Emmet for dear life. The only thing I could feel was him – his soft lips, his tongue dancing in and out of my mouth, his arm around my body and his hand on my skin. For several minutes, the only thing I cared about in the world was being in Emmet’s arms and feeling Emmet’s kiss as my lips grew delightfully sore from our growing eagerness.

I knew it wouldn’t last forever, and at the end he would have to walk away, but I was going to taste every corner of his mouth until then and enjoy how my skin warmed under his touch for as long as I could. When it was all over, the cord that bound us together would stretch painfully and I would be bereft, but I was willing to suffer the pain and sorrow for this moment of undeniable, eternal love.

Chapter Forty

The party raged on next door and outside. My body was pressed up against the cool glass, my legs wrapped securely around Emmet’s waist as he kissed and nibbled the skin on my shoulder. The strap of my dress hung limply after Emmet had slipped it off moments before. My fingers curled in his hair and with a small tug I brought his lips back to mine.

My body tingled with need as Emmet pressed his erection against me. My dress had long ago been hiked up to my waist. The windows were tinted on the outside for privacy and to reduce some of the heat from the sun’s rays, but at that moment, I didn’t care if my entire ass was on display, and the sun could burn a hole in my back and I wouldn’t notice. I tightened my legs around his waist and moaned softly as I deepened our kiss.

One of his hands was splayed across my thigh, caressing and kneading. The fingers of his other hand trailed softly over my cheek as we kissed. His thumb pulled gently on my chin to force my mouth to open more. His hand grazed back across my cheek, over my ear and into my hair where he worked to release my hair from the bun. It fell across my bare shoulders and Emmet growled appreciatively as his fingers combed through my tresses.

My fingers moved over his broad shoulders to the front of his shirt. I began to unbutton his shirt and he moved back just a little, giving me the space I needed to work, but his lips didn’t leave mine until I had finished with the last button. He gazed into my eyes as I pushed the shirt over his shoulders and down his arms until it fell away to the floor. It was the dead of winter and he had not had an undershirt on under his thin shirt, but I was thankful for the immediate access to his smooth skin that covered muscles that had been worked into perfection since the last time I had the pleasure of being this intimate with Emmet. I dipped my head and kissed his throat, eliciting a low groan from his chest. I kissed my way down his skin until I got to his appreciative pecks. I sunk my teeth into the flesh, making him hiss and tangle his hand in my hair. He yanked my head up and devoured my mouth as my hands moved down his body. I placed my hand over his jeans and his erection twitched in my palm.

Emmet pulled his mouth away from mine and eagerly pulled my dress down over my breasts until they were naked and available for his touch. He took a hard peak and rolled it in his fingers, making me moan and squeeze his cock in response. He bent to take the other nipple into his mouth. I cried out as his tongue flicked over the sensitive point. Emmet moaned as he sucked as much flesh into his mouth as he could while twirling and pinching my other nipple. I threw my head back and moaned loudly as I stroked him through his jeans.

Suddenly, he released my breasts and gently smacked my thigh, indicating that he wanted me to stand. Carefully, I disentangled myself from him and put my high heeled feet on the floor. Emmet kissed me briefly on the lips before grasping my dress in his hands and yanking it down. I stepped out of it and he threw it aside. I know what he intended to do as his fingers stroked through my moist heat, but there was something I wanted, too. Before he could lower himself to his knees to drag his tongue through my folds, I dropped to mine and got to work opening his belt.

“Donya,” he objected, but I ignored him and released the button on his jeans.

He tried to object again and tried to step back, but I had just pulled down his zipper and even as he went to move away, I reached into his boxers and grabbed a hold of his hard cock. He groaned and looked down at me with molten emerald eyes as I pulled it out and flicked my tongue across the bulbous head.