Tethered (50 page)

“Donya,” he said my name in a groan this time as I took him into my mouth.

Holding the base of his cock in one hand, I gently squeezed his balls in my other hand and started to suck him feverishly. He put one hand in my hair and the other hand slapped against the glass to brace himself. I kept my eyes on his as his slightly salty, but clean tasting cock slid in and out of my mouth. I pulled my head back until the tip of his manhood was on my lips. I licked away the clear fluid that had seeped out and then closed my lips over the head and sucked hard. Emmet cursed and grunted and thrust his cock deeper into my mouth. I moaned and nearly gagged as he thrust harder the next time.

“Stand up,” Emmet commanded hoarsely as he stepped back. His cock left my mouth and I actually pouted. He chuckled softly and helped me to my feet.

I watched as he kicked off his shoes and quickly removed his pants all of the way. He pulled me against his body and my own body reacted hotly at being skin to skin with him. My hard nipples pressed against his hard chest and his erection pressed against my belly. He kissed me, hard, nipping at my tongue and lips, teeth crashing with mine.

When he broke the kiss, I put my hand on his shoulder, fully expecting him to lift me into his arms and enter me that way, but to my surprise, he took my hand and spun me around and pressed me against the cool glass. With a hard nudge of his hand, I parted my legs. Emmet put one hand on my waist and guided his cock to my entrance with the other hand. He paused before entering me. He kissed my shoulder and then my neck before I felt his tongue on the curve of my ear.

“I love you, do you understand?” he asked hoarsely.

The words squeezed at my heart and made me gasp. I was reminded that this would not be an ongoing thing. Emmet would be gone in a matter of hours and we would have to continue on our own paths. I was painfully aware that this was my doing, but I hated it. I wanted these hours after the start of the New Year to go on forever, but reality never played out that way.

Finally, I nodded. I understood. This was going to hurt both of us when it was all over, but I didn’t think either of us could stop if we wanted to.

I nodded again and bit back the pain that started to climb up my throat from my chest. Emmet must have felt it, too, because he rested his forehead on my shoulder and breathed heavily for a moment. Then he straightened up and with one swift thrust, he had buried himself inside of me. I cried out and braced myself against the glass.

The streets below were still filled with people celebrating. I felt like if any one of them looked hard enough they would see me, naked, wet, and happy and sad, pressed against the glass as Emmet thrust his beautiful engorged cock in and out of my pussy.

Breathing heavily and groaning, Emmet turned my head at an angle so that I could kiss him as he slid in and out of me. I was losing my mind with pleasure. It had been so long since he had been inside of me and my body gripped at his cock to keep him there. I hadn’t been with anyone else since Emmet. My body only wanted his. Our bodies were made for each other.

He released me from the hot kiss and banded his arm across my neck in a possessive hold. He held onto my hip tightly, digging his fingers into my flesh as he slammed into me from behind.

“No matter what,” he breathed and then groaned. “You will always belong to me.”

His words sent me over the edge suddenly, screaming his name as my pussy clenched and squeezed at his cock. Emmet covered my mound with the palm of his hand and pressed hard, prolonging my orgasm until my knees were barely holding me up, but I was impaled on his cock and falling was not an option.

“No one else will ever completely own you,” Emmet growled in my ear. “I am the only one who will ever completely own you and you are the only one that will ever completely own me. Do you understand?”

“Yes!” I screamed as he punched his cock into me violently. “Always yours. Always yours,” I repeated over and over as he continued to slam into me so hard I thought for sure we’d go flying through the glass.

“Donya,” he groaned my name. His arm around my neck tightened and the fingers of his other hand made hard circles on my clit. “Come with me, baby,” he commanded.

His cock throbbed and seemed to swell impossibly thicker inside of me before I felt the first stream of semen shoot inside of me. Emmet began to curse and yell as my orgasm slammed into me so hard that it was painful. Tears fell from my eyes as I sobbed through an intense, heartbreaking orgasm as Emmet filled me with his seed.

He was still hard a minute later when he slid out of me. My legs gave out on me and I started to fall to the floor in a tearful mess, but Emmet caught me and effortlessly lifted me into his arms. He carried me into my bedroom and gently lay me down on the bed. He pulled my shoes off and then climbed in behind me. He pulled me into his arms and held me as I cried. He didn’t say anything, because what could he say that would make any difference? But he kissed my shoulder, my hair, my cheek and anything else he could reach. I turned my face toward him and he kissed me slowly and lovingly as his thumb caressed my cheek.

We made love again, slowly, stretching every minute as much as we possibly could. Even though my heart was breaking all over again, I felt loved and secure in his arms. Every touch, every kiss, and every gaze was memorized and filed away for me to reminisce upon later.

I fell asleep with my legs tangled in Emmet’s and my face pressed against his chest, my head tucked under his chin. He rubbed my back and my hair as I inhaled his inebriating scent. When I woke up in bed alone, the sun was out and lighting up my entire room. I didn’t have to look around my apartment or the penthouse to know that Emmet was gone. The tether was stretching painfully and the overwhelming sense of loss hung around me in a dark cloud. I picked up the pillow that Emmet had lain on and held it to my nose. It smelled just like him and I found some relief that he had at least left his scent behind.

I hugged the pillow to my chest and stared out at the cloudless, sunny day as I tried to mentally and emotionally put myself back together.

Chapter Forty-One

The spring of 2001, Sam had demanded that Emmy, Emmet, and I make some time to visit Louisiana for a few days. Emmy was always trying to get out of going. I had not been down there in nearly two years and Emmet had only gone down for Thanksgiving again the year before.

The guilt trip Sam laid on us was thick, and since I really had not spent much time with the family at all since that fateful Thanksgiving when Emmet turned me in the right direction, I gave in. Emmy gave in grudgingly, and I wasn’t sure how easily Emmet gave in, but he did. I had to turn down an offer to make it work, but I was ready for a bit of a break anyway. I was beginning to feel a little burned out from all of the traveling and working. I wasn’t even close to the top of the modeling totem pole, but my life was still chaotic and hectic, but then, that’s what I wanted.

So the Wednesday before the long Memorial Day weekend, I met Emmy at the house in New Jersey where we would fly out of Philly later that evening.

“I think we should have a drink, don’t you think so?” Emmy asked cheerfully soon after I arrived. She busied herself getting out glasses and bottles of alcohol while I sat at the kitchen table.

“A drink will knock me on my ass,” I said tiredly.

“Right, but you’ll need a drink for what I have to tell you,” Emmy said, glancing at me over her shoulder.

“God, are you pregnant?” I questioned.

She scowled. “No, I’m not pregnant. I’m not even having sex,” she scoffed.

“Well, that’s just completely unbelievable since you’re the biggest ho’ I know,” I teased…kind of.

“I think I screwed around enough as a teenager,” she said soberly. “I date, but I don’t give the booty up.”

“You always make me laugh when you talk about having a booty,” I chuckled.

She looked at me accusingly and then tried to get a look at her own ass before looking back to me. This made me laugh more.

“What are you trying to say? You don’t think I have a booty?”

“It just sounds funny coming out of your mouth,” I said with a shrug.

She placed a tall, purple drink in front of me. I eyed it with some amount of fear. I didn’t drink much at all. Emmy could drink the whole glass and be ready for seconds before I even had three sips. She would be able to function perfectly fine and I’d be knocked out.

“Is that some kind of comment about me being a white girl?” Emmy asked, taking the seat across from me.

“I didn’t say anything about you being a white girl,” I said, but looked at her like that was totally what I meant. “Anyway, what do you want to tell me?” I gasped and leaned forward. “Are you getting back together with Felix?”

The pair had stopped seeing each other soon after the New Year’s Eve party. There didn’t seem to be any animosity between them. They just went their separate ways, confirming their claims that their relationship had not been serious.

“Why would you even ask me that?” Emmy asked, looking at me with mild irritation. “That’s not what I have to tell you, and FYI we were never really ‘together’. Take a sip of your drink. Take a few sips.”

I raised an eyebrow at her as she waited for me to do as she instructed. Whatever she had to tell me must have been deep if she wanted me drunk for it.

“I prefer to remain lucid,” I said, pushing the glass aside. “Just tell me whatever it is you have to tell me.”

Emmy sighed heavily. “Okay, but first
I
need a drink.”

I waited while she took a long sip from the glass.

“Please, the suspense is killing me,” I said in a bored tone and rested my cheek in my hand.

“Okay, I won’t beat around the bush,” she said.

“Em, you have beaten the fuck out of the bush already,” I pointed out. “Just say it.”

She took a breath and then blurted out her next words. “Emmet is bringing a girl with him to Louisiana. I think they’re serious. I mean, they would have to be for him to expose the girl to our mother.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Is that it? Is that what you needed me to drink for?”

Her forehead wrinkled. “Not that I would want to hurt you or anything, but why are you not surprised and why don’t you look heartbroken?”

“Because we have been broken up for three years, Emmy.”

“But I thought that maybe you guys were just going to wait a few years and get back together, when your career slows down and Emmet is out of school.”

“So, what…did you think he was supposed to save himself for me? What a romantic notion.”

Emmy frowned. “I thought…I don’t know…I thought…”

“Would that have been fair to either of us?” I asked her. “To be alone for years and years? We were both so young at the time; so much could change in a few years, Emmy.”

“You still love each other. That hasn’t changed,” she pointed out.

She knew that Emmet and I had left the party together on New Year’s Eve; she and Felix had seen us make our escape, but she thought that he just kissed me. I didn’t bother telling her the rest, because the night had been sacred and somehow speaking of it to her would have tarnished it.

“No, that will never change,” I admitted. “But it doesn’t change the fact that we are not together.”

Emmy was quiet for a minute, sipping her drink and staring at the fake fruit basket in the middle of the table.

“Do you think you will want him later? When your career has shifted into something more manageable?” Emmy finally asked.

I would always want Emmet, but I didn’t want to tell Emmy that. It would lead off into a whole other conversation that would leave me feeling more sad and sorry and I was sad and sorry enough.

“There isn’t any point in me thinking that far ahead, because I have no idea when that time will be or what I will be doing or where he will be or what he will be doing,” I said to her.

“Are you going to be okay with him and
her
?” Emmy questioned worriedly.

“I’ll be fine,” I promised as I got up from the table. I made a show of checking my watch. “Don’t get too drunk or they won’t let you on the plane,” I warned her. “Benny will be here to pick us up in an hour.”

“What’s up with that anyway?” she asked with a snort.

“Nothing is up with that,” I called over my shoulder as I exited the room.

“Benny and Donya sitting in a tree,” she began to sing, but I ignored her as I went up the stairs.

On New Year’s Day, I got an email from Benny. He wished me a happy new year and asked the obligatory questions one asks when you’re contacting a friend you only speak to once or twice a year. It took me a day or two to answer him, but I did, as I always did. Usually the emails came to a halt after a couple of days, usually on my end, but this time I kept it up for a few weeks, even when I was working away from home. The emails turned into phone calls and the phone calls turned into a few meals in New York or Philly or somewhere in between, a visit to a museum and one concert. My schedule was still insane, so I didn’t see him much.

Initially, I had no doubt that I rather latched onto Benny because I wanted to shake Emmet from my system, but then I realized I really liked Benny, as a friend, of course. Whether or not Benny liked me more than that, I never considered, even when Emmy made stupid remarks about it.

Even though I just wanted Benny as a friend, I kind of wished he was going with me to Louisiana, just so that I wouldn’t look like the loser ex-girlfriend when Emmet showed up with his new girlfriend. Despite how strong and sure I appeared to Emmy, it hurt me deeply to know that Emmet was with someone else. Em was right, it had to be pretty serious if he was willing to expose the woman to Sam. Did he love her? Was he
in love
with her? Did he mean it when he said that I would always own him completely no matter what? If that was the case, did he see my face when he kissed her? Was it my body he envisioned when he was intimate with her?

My chest hurt just thinking about the long weekend ahead, but I again reminded myself that this was my own doing. I chose my career and forced Emmet to choose his, and this was where it left us – him with a new girlfriend, and me still alone.