Tessa Ever After (33 page)

“Nope,” Paige says, cutting me off from my thoughts. “You’re doing it again. No thinking about He Who Shall Not Be Named. That’s not allowed tonight. Now hurry up, we have shots to do.”

Paige pushes me in the direction of the bathroom once I’m changed and goes to work on my makeup while I sit dutifully and let her, hoping all the while she’s right. That I’ll get some much-needed oblivion courtesy of an alcohol-induced haze.

•   •   •

“PAIGE REALLY LOVES
this stuff, huh?” Winter asks from the high table we managed to score, looking toward where Paige is dancing among a sea of guys.

“Yeah,” I say with a sigh. My cosmo isn’t working as fast as
I’d like it to, and I’m entirely too coherent for my liking. This whole Get Tessa Drunk plan isn’t working for shit.

“Cade didn’t really tell me much about the whole Jason thing . . .”

“That’s because he doesn’t know what happened.” I take a long pull of my drink. “And I doubt Jason said anything when Cade went over there the other day.” When I found out Cade actually went to Jason’s to talk to him, I was livid. I reamed Cade up one side and down the other for interfering. The thing that got to me the most was thinking whatever Jason and I had would get in the way of his and Cade’s friendship, and despite how heartbroken I am, I don’t want their relationship damaged because of it.

“He didn’t,” she confirms. “Cade’s just worried about you. And he’ll never tell you that.”

“I’m surprised
you’re
telling me that.”

She looks at me over the rim of her water glass—designated driver, thank God. “Yeah, me, too. But when it’s important to Cade, it’s important to me.” She shifts in her seat and leans toward me a little more, making it easier to hear her over the thumping bass in the club. “He was livid at first, when he found out you guys were hooking up.”

I cringe at that term, knowing now that’s all it was to Jason when it was never, ever that for me.

She notices my reaction and waves a hand. “When you guys got together . . . whatever. He was pissed, because he didn’t want you to get hurt. And, come on, even I knew about how Jason was with girls.”

I nod, because I know how he was with girls, too. Everyone does. And I should’ve listened to that voice in my head that urged me against doing anything with him. Maybe if I had, I wouldn’t
be sitting in a club I don’t want to be in, nursing my broken heart over a nearly empty martini glass.

“Anyway, after a while, he came around.” My head snaps up, eyes locking on hers as she nods. “Yeah. It was hard as hell to get him to stop being so fucking overprotective and really
consider
Jason as someone for you and Haley. And when he did? When he finally put aside his big-brother bullshit and thought about who would be the right fit for you and her? Well, he settled down.”

“I don’t get it . . . He’s been like a caged lion the last few days, ready to rip Jason’s head off. If he’s so cool with us being together, he wouldn’t be set on that.”

“He wants to pull Jason’s head out of his ass, not rip it off. Look, we don’t know what happened, but something went down, and from what Cade told me, it’s not any other girls.”

I snort, not believing it for a minute. It’s been weeks since our blowout. Jason’s probably made the rounds five times by now. The thought sends a stab of pain to my stomach, the alcohol I’ve ingested threatening to revolt. So I do what any sane person in my position would—I chug the rest of the liquid in my glass and order another when the waitress passes by.

“Look, Tessa, I don’t know if you know everything that happened with me and Cade . . .”

Shaking my head, I say, “Nope. He never told me anything.”

“Yeah, well, I was Jason in that scenario. I had my head up my ass. I loved Cade, but I didn’t think it was enough.” She stares into her glass before she asks quietly, “Do you love Jason?”

Do I love him? More than my next breath. I love his quiet but steady presence at night after Haley’s in bed and the house is silent and still. I love when he grumbles about drinking wine with me because it’s a
girlie
drink but does it anyway because I ask
him to. I love when he lets me sleep in and takes my little girl on a donut run, then plays with her for hours in the snow. When he plays dress-up and has tea parties and grumbles only a little when she wants to try out her bright pink nail polish on his toes. I love how he made me feel alive, made me feel like so much more than just a mom, how he made me feel like
myself.

I swipe at the tears in my eyes before I look back up at Winter, echoing what she said. “Sometimes love isn’t enough.”

She pauses for a minute, then shakes her head. “It’s everything, Tessa. Just give him a chance . . .”

I snort and gratefully accept the refilled drink the waitress sets in front of me, taking a long swallow. Give him a chance to what? Because from where I’m sitting, alone at a club and getting drunk just to forget him, there’s no one around to give a chance to.

THIRTY-TWO

jason

Cade’s words have haunted me for the last several days, spinning over and over in my mind until they’re all I can hear.
You’d rather have it be all with them and nothing with Tessa instead of the other way around?

Why didn’t I ever think of it like that before? This whole time I was ready to give up something that made me happy, some
one
who made me happy, to spend my life being nothing more than a puppet for two people who don’t give a shit about me. It took too long for me to get here, but I finally am. I don’t know what the future is going to bring, what kind of life I’ll lead, but I don’t care. As long as I have Tessa and Haley with me, I don’t care, because they’re all that matters. They’re exactly the kind of family my grandpa always told me was out there . . . the kind he always told me meant everything. The kind he warned me not
to turn my back on. He wasn’t ever talking about my parents . . . He was telling me I could find it for myself, if I only looked.

I found it . . . found
them
 . . . and I almost let it slip right through my fingers.

I pull my car into the circular drive, stopping in front of the valet my parents hired. The party is already well under way, no other cars coming in behind me, so I pocket my keys and tell the guy I’ll be right back. What I have in mind isn’t going to take very long.

I make my way into my parents’ house, taking satisfaction in the looks thrown my way when my parents’ snooty colleagues and acquaintances notice my less-than-black-tie attire. I probably should’ve waited for a more opportune time. Should’ve come by when there weren’t three hundred witnesses, but I never was one for doing what’s expected of me, what’s appropriate.

I twist my way through the throngs of people, looking for my parents. Finally, I find them by the fireplace, drinks in hand, fake smiles plastered on their faces, and thank fuck this isn’t going to be my life anymore.

My mom is the first to notice me when I’m a few feet away, a gasp leaving her lips as her eyes grow wide. She grips my father by his forearm, and he turns to take me in, his eyes hardening.

“Jason,” he says, his voice as hard as stone. “We’ve let everyone know you weren’t feeling well. No need to put in face time. Everyone understands.” The men and women standing around my parents shoot glances my way, obviously taking in my appearance—jeans and a hoodie don’t exactly scream couture.

“Not sick, Dad, though I’m sure that was an easier excuse than the truth.”

“Jason,” my mom says warningly, her eyes darting around to her friends. “Maybe we can talk about this somewhere private?”

“Actually, I think here is just fine.”

My father leans closer to me, his voice pitched low, but I know everyone around us still hears. “Take a minute to think about how you’re acting. This isn’t how someone of your status in the company should behave.”

“Well it’s a good thing I’m not working at the company, then.”

“Semantics. As of January second, you will be there shadowing me to eventually take over, and that doesn’t excuse any unruly behavior beforehand.”

“No, I don’t think you understand. I’m not going to be
anything
to the company. I’m not doing it.” I step closer to my parents, looking them both in the eyes and finally laying it on the line. “It was never what I wanted, and if either of you had listened for two goddamn seconds to anything I said, you’d know that. You ruined everything good that Grandpa made of that company. You tore it all to shreds, and I want nothing to do with it. Find someone else to run the company, because it’s not going to be me.”

My father’s face is beet red now, his eyes wild, and I know if there weren’t all these people around, his temper would’ve exploded by now. His voice is low and controlled, but I can tell by his stance, by the set of his shoulders that he’s feeling anything but. “You don’t know what you’re doing, Jason. Think very hard about what you’re about to walk away from.”

And by the look in his eyes, I know he’s talking about more than just the job. He’s talking about everything, them included.

And for once, I don’t care. For once, I don’t let a sense of obligation or the words of my grandfather keep me from doing what I’ve wanted to for years. Not when I know what’s waiting for me outside these walls. Not after I realized my real family isn’t bound to me by blood, but by something else entirely.

“I’ve already thought about it. And that’s what makes this so easy.”

•   •   •

AS SOON AS
I leave my parents’, I go to the one place that’s always been more of a home than mine ever was. I don’t even care what kind of wrath I’m going to incur from Cade. I have to see Tessa, explain what happened, tell her what a mistake I made, how stupid I was, and hope she’ll forgive me.

Hope she’ll take me back.

Tessa’s car isn’t in the driveway, and instead an older model Accord with Illinois plates is in its place. Hoping Tessa just let Cade borrow her car and she’s actually inside, I go to the front door and knock quietly, knowing Haley’s probably asleep because of how late it is. When the door swings open, it isn’t Tessa who answers. Instead, her brother stands there, arms crossed, looking at me with a raised eyebrow.

“It took you a long time to pull your head out of your ass.”

“Yeah, well, I was always a little slow on the uptake.”

He moves to the side and lets me in. After I shrug out of my coat and take off my shoes, I follow behind him, looking for signs of Tessa along the way but coming up empty. Cade leads me to the kitchen, where Adam’s perched at a stool.

“Hey, man,” I say.

He tips his chin in my direction. “Finally pulled your head out of your ass, huh?”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it. I was an idiot. Took me a while, but I’m here. Now where’s Tess?”

“You were a little too slow. She’s not here,” Cade says.

“Where is she?”

“I think she went out with that dentist again,” Cade says casually, like he’s not turning my whole fucking world upside down. Like he’s not stabbing me in the heart a hundred times.

Adam chokes on his beer and shakes his head at Cade while I sink onto the stool next to Adam.

“Fuck.
Fuck
.” I slam my hand down on the counter. “She’s already out on a
date
?” The thought of that boring-ass guy with his hands on Tessa makes my fists clench on the island, and I have to force myself to stay here, to not go after her and tear through every possible place she might be.

It’s her choice.

She thought I didn’t want her, that she was nothing more than a hookup for me, and I let her think it. I deserve every bit of this.

“Don’t be an asshole, Cade,” Adam mutters.

Cade’s leaning against the counter across from us, his arms crossed and eyes narrowed on me. “I’m gonna be an asshole until he tells me why he came here,” he says to Adam, but he’s looking directly at me.

I shake my head, taking a deep breath. Whether or not she’s out with someone else, that doesn’t change what I came here to do. What I
will
do if she gives me the chance. “I get where you’re coming from, and I’m glad Tess has you to look out for her. But I don’t give a fuck if you’re my best friend or not, you don’t deserve to hear it before she does.”