Tessa Ever After (28 page)

I snort and roll my eyes. “Yeah, that took one poorly timed f-bomb with Haley around—which she, of course, repeated . . . while at day care—for Tessa to make me aware of the rules in no uncertain terms.”

He smiles a little, no doubt at the thought of Tessa’s tiny frame unleashing a verbal beating over my teaching her daughter the f-word. Then he sobers and looks at me, really looks at me, and I shift uncomfortably, not liking being under his scrutiny. I prefer straight-up phone calls instead of this video bullshit, to be perfectly honest.

“Never thought when you were giving me all that shit about Winter that it’d happen to you, too.”

It’s on the tip of my tongue to deny it, but I can’t. I don’t want to. Because it’s the truth.

“She’s good for you,” he says.

With a single nod, I agree. “She is.”

“She’s
too
good for you.”

“I’m not denying that, either.”

“Good, remember that and we’ll be okay. But listen, jackass . . . don’t think this talk gets you off the hook. Don’t think I won’t kick your ass totally and completely if necessary. You need to be good for her, too.”

I blow out a breath, the weight of his words sitting on my chest, reiterating what I already know. What I already feared from the start. “I’m trying.”

tessa

When I’m done with my shower and I’ve gotten ready, I walk out to find Jason helping Haley make out her Christmas list.

“S-h-e-t-l-a-n-d,” he spells out, pausing between each letter while Haley dutifully copies them down on her list. “P-o-n-y.”

I snort as I walk in and pull out a stool on the opposite side of the island from them. “I hope you’re footing the bill for that one. And for a stable to keep it in.”

“Jay’s givin’ me ideas for my list. Look!” She thrusts the list at me, and I read my little girl’s messy pink scrawl, half of her letters the right direction and half of them backward.

With raised eyebrows, I look over at him. “An actual tea party?”

“Yeah!” Haley says at the same time Jason asks, “What’s wrong with that?”

“In London?” I say, pointing to the line where she jotted
London tea party
on her list.

He shrugs. “What was I supposed to do? She wanted ideas, and she loves tea parties . . . Seemed like kind of a no-brainer to me.”

I laugh, handing the list back to Haley as I shake my head at Jason. “You are ridiculous, but I lo—” I choke on my words, stopping myself just in time from making my epiphany from last night known. It’s too soon, too much, and would no doubt send Jason packing in a heartbeat, despite the fact that we’ve known each other for so much of our lives.

“But you what?” he asks with a smile.

I clear my throat, and brush invisible crumbs off the counter. “But I’m not letting you help Haley with her lists anymore unless you’re buying everything on there for her.” It sucks as far as cover-ups go, and by the look he gives me, the way his eyes narrow ever so slightly, I know he doesn’t buy it. But, thankfully, he doesn’t push.

“Well, what do you usually suggest she puts on it?”

“Um, Barbies. Games. A new tea party
hat
. Things that won’t put me out of house and home.”

“Ah, that makes a lot more sense.”

“Jay, how do you spell
carousel
?”

He holds up his hands and looks at me. “That’s all her. I had nothing to do with it.”

I laugh as my phone buzzes on the counter with an incoming text. Picking it up, I see Cade’s name, and my heart drops, memories of the last time we talked making my palms sweat, a knot forming in my stomach. Holding my breath, I open my text messages and read the latest from my brother.

I’m sorry. I was out of line w/ everything I said. If he makes u happy, it makes me happy. Love u

I expel the breath I was holding, like a weight lifting from my shoulders, and I don’t realize until that moment exactly how much Cade’s opinion matters to me. And while it’s not unusual for him to admit when he’s wrong and say he’s sorry, normally he stews on it for a week, letting everything fester before he says anything.

“Everything okay?” Jason asks, pulling me out of my thoughts.

I turn the phone to him, showing him the text. “You wouldn’t know anything about this, would you?”

He reads it as I watch his face, seeing a satisfied smile before he wipes it away quickly and then offers me a shake of his head. “Nope. Glad he apologized, though.”

“Mhmm,” I say, but I don’t believe him for a second. And the fact that he talked to Cade about it, somehow made him see how much it hurt me that he wasn’t accepting of whom I chose to invite into my life, makes me fall all the more for him.

This time the buzzing of a phone comes from Jason’s, and he pulls it out of his pocket, quickly reading the text and replying. “I need to run home and do some homework for class. I’ve got a group project due next week. And Adam wants to get together tonight.”

“Adam’s in town?” I ask.

“Yeah, flew in last minute. Something’s going on with his parents’ shop, but he’s not sure what.” He finishes his text and pockets his phone again before leaning forward, elbows braced on the table. “Can I see you tomorrow?”

I smile and roll my eyes, but even as I do that, my stomach flips. “Since when do you ask?”

“You’re right. I just show up.”

“All the time.”

“You love it.”

Afraid I’m going to let something slip, I keep my mouth shut and offer him a smile as he moves to stand.

“Hey, shorty, I gotta run. Thanks for making me get donuts this morning.” He ruffles her hair, then drops a kiss on her head before he walks over to me. With a question clear in his eyes, he darts a quick glance to Haley, then back to me, silently asking if he can kiss me.

In response, I tip my chin up, waiting for it, and he doesn’t disappoint. The kiss he gives me is much less chaste than the one he pressed to Haley’s head, and I have to force myself to keep quiet, to kill the moan in the back of my throat before it can escape. After several moments, he finally pulls back, dropping a couple quick kisses on my lips.

And then Haley interrupts, reminding me why it was a good idea to hold back that moan. “Why do you sleep on the couch so much, Jay? You Mama’s boyfriend now?”

I inhale wrong and sputter a cough, looking at Jason with wide eyes while he looks back at me with something close to amusement. Taking a deep breath, I say, “Um, does that bother you? Jason sleeping on the couch?”

She shrugs, going back to drawing a sleigh and reindeer on her list. “No, but is he?”

“Is he what?”

Haley sighs, her eyes rolling toward the ceiling. “Your boyfriend. Hannah at school says that Tommy is her boyfriend, and that’s fine with me, because I like Brandon best. I’m gonna marry him.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Jason says, all humor gone from his eyes. “I don’t like the sound of that. Who is this little punk? Do I need to have a talk with him?”

“About what?”

“About keeping his hands to himse—”

I stop him with my fingers on his arm, shaking my head. As much as I love his protective response, I don’t think we need to take active measures to make sure a four-year-old boy has honorable intentions toward my daughter.

“So is Jay like Tommy is to Hannah? Is he your boyfriend, too?”

I stare at her for a beat, trying to buy myself time. Jason and I never talked about this, haven’t had a chance to really define whatever this is between us. And despite letting Jason kiss me in front of Haley, I hadn’t been prepared to answer questions about it. I never thought she’d actually ask outright, demand a definition of this tentative relationship Jason and I have. But now I have to give her one.

Taking a deep breath, I say, “Yes, he’s my boyfriend.”

“Yes!” Haley hisses and throws both arms in the air. “This means donuts every morning, right?”

With a laugh, I shake my head. “Maybe if you’re lucky you can get them once a week.”

She’s pacified with that and quickly goes back to working on her drawing just as Jason bends down, his lips at my ear. “I’m your boyfriend, huh?”

Before I admitted it to Haley, I worried about what Jason would say, worried about how he would react to hearing that inconsequential word in regard to himself. But from the teasing lilt to his voice and the smirk I see on his lips when I turn to face him, I realize my worries were unfounded.

Leaning in, I press my lips to his ear and whisper, “Somehow, I don’t think ‘guy I have hot, amazing sex with’ is an appropriate title to tell my four-year-old.”

Jason laughs out a groan, then kisses me again. “Tomorrow night, I’ll continue on that streak.” Then he straightens and grabs his coat before slipping it on and heading to the door. “Later, my lovely ladies. I’ll bring popcorn tomorrow night. You have
Tangled
ready.”

Laughing at Haley’s squeal of excitement, I stand and go to grab a notepad and pen out of the drawer. Since I had yesterday and today off for the holiday, I have to work tomorrow, so our usual weekly Saturday-morning grocery shopping has to get done today. Clicking the pen on and off, I think about what I want to make this week for dinners, having been trying to get in the habit of having something at least semi–planned out so I don’t have to always resort to frozen food. It’s worked well so far, a routine making it easier to not feel so overwhelmed.

As I walk over to the fridge to peer inside, a bright pink Post-it note on the counter catches my eye. Two words are scrawled in Jason’s handwriting—
Anytime, baby—
and I pull the tiny note from the counter, confused. Until I see what lies underneath it.

And then my heartbeat falters for a moment before speeding into a gallop, because there, under the bright pink square, is a single metal key.

A key that no doubt unlocks Jason’s apartment.

With shaky hands, I grab my phone and snap a picture of the note and the key, sending it in a text to Jason.

You wouldn’t happen to know anything about this, either, would you?

His response takes a couple minutes, and I’m biting my nails
the whole time, one eye on Haley as she occupies herself, the other staring at my phone, waiting for the screen to light up. And when it does, when that simple, four-letter word comes through, followed almost immediately by another text from him, I can’t stop the smile from overtaking my face.

Nope.

Better use it, tho.

TWENTY-SIX

tessa

There should’ve been speed bumps on the road by now. Hiccups or hang-ups or giant, gaping potholes in this relationship Jason and I have fallen into. And yet, there haven’t been. Not one, and that actually worries me more than if there’d been a dozen.

It’s been two and a half weeks since Thanksgiving. Two and a half weeks since the night I knew I’d fallen head over reluctant heels in love with him. Two and a half weeks filled with secret sleepovers and movie nights and sex and laughter and watching the man I love play dress-up with my daughter just to see her smile.

And even though I know it’s not healthy to focus on what could possibly go wrong in a relationship, I still can’t stop feeling like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. Perpetually on edge, anticipating a hiccup that hasn’t come. I should be relieved. I should be counting my blessings and thanking God that there
haven’t
been any issues. Even the situation with Cade was cleared
up quickly, and I haven’t heard a negative peep out of him since his apology.

“Hey, what’s got you thinking so hard over there?” Paige asks from across a table in the mall food court. Normally, I wouldn’t be caught dead out here this close to Christmas, but it’s a weeknight and Jason and Haley had special, secret plans that I was told were none of my business, so Paige and I hit the mall to get in some holiday shopping.

I shake my head, twirling a bite of my lo mein onto my fork. “Nothing.”

“Liar,” she accuses with a jab of her fork in my direction. “Now spill. What’s going on? Jase not able to get it up anymore? Your lady business feeling a little neglected?”