Tess Awakening (22 page)

“That is all true, Jake, but our role is to
help restore peace and ultimately to pull out our troops and go
home. I have a mission for you. “I need you to help find Abu
Makimi, a top leader of Al Qaeda in Iraq. Things will never settle
down until we get him. This guy is really bad news. He is on a
killing fest, it doesn’t matter whom, as long as it intensifies
chaos.”

Jack smiled. “Thanks for easing me back on
the job with an easy mission.”

“With you analytical skills, knowledge of
Arabic and the contacts you have made among the Iraqis, your
involvement is crucial.”

“Okay, Paul. I might as well get the ball
rolling.”

Jake joined the CIA team already working on
the case and received a briefing.

A local, dismayed by Makimi’s presence in his
town, had provided the first bit of vital information. Jake and two
Iraqi colleagues talked to the man, who was visibly agitated.
“Makimi moves into the neighborhood and what happens? Over the
weekend, we found nine heads in a box.”

Next, they got some information from the
interrogation of a man recently arrested, a Makimi aide. Jake did
not want to know how the Iraqis persuaded the man to provide useful
information, but he was sure it was not pleasant.

The team also got vital intelligence from the
Jordanians. They had analyzed a video featuring Makimi that
appeared to be of recent vintage and worked out where the pictures
were taken, pinpointing the house where he was holed up.

To complete the picture, a tip from someone
in Makimi’s network put U. S. forces on the trail of the
terrorist’s “spiritual adviser”. The man inadvertently led troops
to the spot where the terrorist leader was holing up.

Surveying the building from a distance,
military commanders concluded that they could not go in on the
ground without running the risk of triggering an escape, so they
decided to use two F-16 jets. One of the aircraft dropped a 500lb
bomb and then returned for another run, discharging a second
one.

Iraqi security forces rushed to what was left
of the house. Shortly afterward, U. S. forces arrived. They found
three dead men and three women, and a gravely wounded Makimi, whom
the Iraqis put on a stretcher.

When they started examining him, Makimi
attempted to roll off the stretcher and get away, realizing that he
had been captured by the hated U. S. military. He mumbled
something, but he died.

A visual identification established that it
probably was him, but they conducted further examinations of his
body and found more scars and tattoos consistent with what the CIA
knew about him. Fingerprint identification followed, positively
identifying Makimi. DNA analysis was completed within days.

Makimi’s death allowed coalition forces to go
after his network. Coalition and Iraqi forces moved quickly,
conducting 17 simultaneous raids in and around Baghdad within hours
of Makimi’s death. They were able to seize a significant amount of
information and intelligence. It was a treasure trove.

A further 39 raids were carried out, leading
to the capture or death of most terrorists on the network.

Jake and his team returned to base. “A hell
of a way to make a living,” He thought.

Chapter 32

Jake had found out that Tess was back to her
unit, but he needed to think things through before attempting to
see her. He was trying to work out in his mind how he would feel if
he found out for sure that she had been with Amir. ‘I should just
forget about her and move on with my life,’ he kept telling
himself.

And yet, he could not help feeling that there
might be other explanations for her disappearance. He could not
believe that Tess had just discarded their warm and loving
relationship without a good reason. Or maybe it was just a fling
for her. Either way, he needed closure.

He found her on the chow line talking with
Carmen. They women sat at a table and were discussing their
upcoming mission when Jake approached them.

“Hi, Tess.”

She turned her head and froze. The lover that
she had wronged, that she desperately needed, that she had lost was
looking at her, his usual smile absent.

Carmen, recognizing that the man was Jake and
sensing that something serious was going on, picked up her tray. “I
will leave you two alone.”

“May I sit down?” Jake asked.

“Please do,” Tess responded.

“How are you, Tess? I have been looking for
you all over Europe.”

Tess always hated being on the defensive, and
this time it was not an exception. She snapped back. “Sounds like
you are accusing me as if I was a fugitive!”

“You are not a criminal, but you have been
MIA [missing in action] for a while, and I have been worrying about
you. You just disappeared and did not see fit to at least let me
know what you were up to.”

“Jake, you wouldn’t have liked it if I told
you what I was going to do.”

“And what did you do, Tess? Did you go to
that bastard?”

“I am sorry, Jake, I did. I needed to try to
free the girl from him. My only chance to get her was to agree to
his conditions.”

“I am not sure I want to know what the
conditions were.”

“Amir stipulated that I had to spend one
month with him and the girl, at the end of which he would let me
have her.”

Jake looked at her skeptically. “Yet you are
here. I can only assume that it didn’t work out. Wars and moms are
not exactly compatible.”

“Yes, I failed. I was called back to rejoin
my unit before the month was up. Amir saw my early departure as a
breach of our agreement.”

“Is that all, Tess? Did you sleep with
him?”

“I will not lie to you, Jake. It was a
condition of his letting go of the girl.”

Jake closed his eyes, his stomach sinking.
Now he had confirmation that the woman he loved had sex with
another man, throwing him aside as if he did not count.

“Where is the girl now, Tess; still with
him?”

Tess was trying hard not to cry. “Yes, he
kept the girl. He persuaded me to sleep with him; afterward he
confessed that Aara was his own daughter.

She stood up and started to walk out. “I need
to get out of here.”

Jake followed her. They found a bench seat
under cover. The sun was scorching; only a few people ventured
walking outside.

Jake had an overwhelming desire to embrace
her and comfort her but was not sure if she would welcome the
overture. He hesitated for another reason: he was horrified that
another man, especially Amir, had possessed the woman he loved and
that she had allowed it to happen. He had trouble getting his mind
around that.

“Tess, you could have waited until I came
back to Istanbul. We would have failed to get the girl just the
same, but you would also have avoided giving in to Amir.”

“Jake, if you were around, there was no
chance in hell that Amir would have even talked to me about the
girl.”

“So you managed to approach the situation
impetuously as usual, and you got set up.”

Tess put her hands on her eyes, trying to
control her emotions. “Yes, I was deceived. The whole thing turned
out a mess, and there is nothing more I can do about it.”

Jake recognized that he could not push Tess
much more, but he just had to resolve the turmoil in his heart. The
jealousy that plagues men’s souls hit him like a wave.

“Did you like making love to him?”

“I cannot lie to you. Amir is a remarkable
lover. He made me want him, turned me on and gave me pleasure like
I had never had in my life.” She immediately regretted her
honesty.

Jake looked at her with a resigned look on
his face. “Well, how can one compete with that? Are you going to go
back to him?”

“I don’t ever want to see him again.”

“Tess, I am sorry. I should not have asked
you that question. You are honest, and I like a fool forced you to
tear my heart apart. It’s an injury that I inflicted on myself. I
must now bear the consequences. All I can say now is that I love
you with all my heart, but I can’t live with the knowledge that you
have been in the arms of that man.”

“That does not change how I feel about you,
Jake.”

“Tess, I need to go now. I wish I could say
it was nice to see you again. Stay safe.”

Jake stood up and walked away.

***

Back to their living quarters, Carmen
witnessed Tess breaking down. The usually reserved, classy and
confident tough pilot had her face swollen from crying. She sat on
the floor, her arms hugging her legs, almost in a fetal
position.

“Do I dare ask you what happened, Tess?”

Tess could no longer endure the pain by
herself. She needed to talk to someone she trusted. She needed help
and support. She shared her torment, disclosing everything that
transpired. She talked about her surrender to Amir and her desire
to do so in spite of hating him. She also expressed her nascent,
elemental craving to nurture a child, but most of all, she
regretted her betrayal of Jake’s trust.

Carmen, ever the realist, never trusted men
even though she routinely enjoyed them when she needed to play.
Basically, in her mind, with few exceptions, they are all pigs.

“Girlfriend, I understand that you messed up,
but I wouldn’t get suicidal about it. You have two men that will
jump over the cliff for you; I wish I had that problem.”

“Carmen, you don’t understand. I screwed up
everything.”

“Yes, you screwed up, but not in the way you
think. In my humble opinion, you are out of your mind, Tess. You
have turned down a man that will buy you Chanel clothes and
Ferraris. He has three mansions in Europe and a cute kid to boot,
plus he worships you and according to you he is a world class
screw. So he is a little strange, but I would definitely cut him
some slack; there is no such thing as a perfect man or perfect
woman in this world. So what’s the problem?

“I love Jake, and he doesn’t have a burning
need to show off or dominate me, even if he could do so if he
wanted.”

“Tess, get real. Jake is cute, but in my
opinion, he is not competitive — in a commercial sense, so to
speak. If I were in your situation, I would thank the Lord for his
blessings and rush back to the rich guy as fast as you can and beg
him to take you back. Just steer Jake in my direction. I am sure I
could make him feel better,” she added jokingly.

Tess smiled at Carmen’s pragmatic and
good-humored assessment of the situation. It was just like her,
born of the hard world that she survived with talent, guts, and
determination.

“Stop kidding, Carmen. I want to be with
Jake. My only question is how I can get him to forgive me.”

“Tess, stew on this for a while. I am sure
you will come up with something. From what I have seen, he is still
nuts over you in spite of the fact that you enthusiastically
screwed another guy. He will get over it eventually. He knows that
there still plenty of mileage left in you. Some girls have all the
luck.”

“I love him.”

“Well, I suggest you get with the program,
then. Watch out though. From what I see, your visions of babies and
puppies tell me that you are craving to get knocked up. Or maybe
you already are. That will solve another of your problems. You will
get your very own little girl with black eyes.

“Don’t be silly, Carmen. I never wanted kids,
and I am not pregnant.”

“Tess, you get sick every morning. You spend
a lot of time in the bathroom peeing. Your boobs are sore. You are
cranky. I think you should get a pregnancy test.”

“Carmen. I am on the pill.” In any case, how
about you, when are you going to settle down? You can’t keep
running hot and cold guys forever,”

“Touché; I am going to wait until my boobs
start dropping and my ass sags. Then I will retire, get me a nice,
dull accountant, screw him real good and knock out a couple of
kids. Pronto, mission accomplished.”

Tess smiled. “You know you are crazy.”

“It’s the only way to live, my lady. And, by
the way, please pick up a pregnancy test kit at the PX.”

Chapter 33

Amir was in a foul mood, sitting in his
study with a glass in his hand.

He could not believe that he had failed to
persuade Tess to stay. He had offered her everything. He had made
love to her passionately. He had shown her every kindness. He had
hoped that after their fantastic lovemaking, she would elect to
stay and that the disclosure that Aara was his daughter would not
change the desired outcome.

Amir was not a man to dwell in
self-reflection, but this time he knew he had failed in conquering
a woman for the first time in his life. Now he wanted Tess more
than ever, but she was gone. He regretted his angry, abrupt
dismissal of her in the garden, his inability to suppress his
authoritarian bent. He could have been gentler, more aware, he kept
saying to himself.

In his mind, he could still smell her scent
and remember her poise and grace. He admired her intellect, how she
descended down the stairs looking like a princess, how her playing
the piano revealed a depth of feeling and turbulent passion that he
rarely saw in other women. Above all, he remembered holding her in
his arms, making love to her, delighting in her responses.

His sister Fadime repeatedly insisted they
watch the videos she had made of their lovemaking. She found the
scenes intensely erotic, invariably becoming intensely aroused,
persuading Amir to make love to her. She soon realized that Amir
was not actually making love to her; in his mind, he was making
love to Tess. Fadime was not amused.

She was well aware that she and her brother
had violated all conventions by engaging in an unnatural
relationship but had delusions that it didn’t matter, that Amir
would be her lover forever. She had never found a man that could
fulfill her the way that her brother did. The fact that he had
other women did not matter. He always came back to her, mutually
partaking of the delicious forbidden fruit. But now Amir was
different. He started to avoid her entreaties, locked in his study,
brooding over his loss.