Terms of Service (22 page)

“That was the agreement, right?  Thirty day notice?”  She crossed her arms over her chest and stared at him, awaiting a response.

His eyes tracked back and forth as though he were thinking.  He had a desperate look on his face.  “It has to be in writing,” he answered in a flat voice.

Disgusted he was going to make her hold to those terms after what she had just heard, Hannah thrust her fingers into her pocket, prepared to turn on her heel and storm off.  Her fingertips grazed a metal tube.  Confused at first, her brow furrowed as her right hand closed over a lipstick she forgot she had stuck in there earlier in the day.  Gripping it tightly, she glanced about, trying to figure out what to do with it.  Then she saw it.  The small rectangular mirror hung there limply, almost out of place amongst the new paintings she had chosen during the remodel.  She had only placed the mirror there in case she wanted to see down the hall or to check her face before going down the stairs.  Ever practical, now the mirror was going to be re-purposed.

Yanking the lipstick from her pocket, she pulled off the cap and quickly twisted until the Crimson Fire stick was visible.  ‘I quit,’ she wrote on the mirror.  Then she signed and dated it.  Hannah recapped the lipstick and shoved it back into her pocket.  With both hands, she grasped the mirror and lifted it from the nail.  Turning to face him once more, she thrust it towards Gavin.  “Will this do?”  She spoke blandly.

***

He didn’t want to touch it, didn’t want to take it from her.  She wasn’t giving him a choice.  Slowly, he reached out and accepted it, took the mirror and held it in both hands.  He opened his mouth, unsure of what he could say.

Before any words could escape, however, she had turned and marched decisively back to her room and firmly closed the doors.  Sadly, Gavin lifted the mirror to study her angry scrawl.  That was when he realized in doing so he had to face himself.  What he saw wasn’t pretty.  His eyes looked dead, sunken in his face.  Any color he had gained from sailing had drained completely.  Swallowing hard, he let the mirror drop to his side then he trudged back down the stairs.  He only had thirty days to fix this.  Somehow he
had
to fix this.

***

Once the doors were closed behind her, Hannah wept in earnest.  Afraid he would hear and know how truly devastated she was, Hannah moved to the bathroom and began to draw a bath.  Numbly, she scooped lavender bath salt from the jar on the edge of the tub.  The room filled with the soothing scent, but it did little to alleviate the sorrow she was experiencing.  Slowly, she undressed and lowered herself into the warm scented water.  The jets were on, but she felt little relief.  How could she have let this happen?  How could she have let her guard down so quickly?

With very little reasoning, she knew how he had won her over, gained her trust.  Every step of the way he had treated her with kindness and consideration unlike anything she’d ever experienced before.  It was easy to get caught up in the emotions of it all when she was pampered like a queen.  Sighing, she let it all out.  This would be the last time she allowed herself to cry over him, might as well get it all out there.

Fifty-three minutes later, she stared at her reflection in the mirror.  She was a red pruned towel clad version of her normal self.  Her eyes and nose were particularly telling of her state.  She couldn’t remember when she last looked this broken.  Maybe never.  Turning, Hannah stared at the bathrobe Gavin had bought her, hanging on the hook between the shower and the tub.  She longed to wear it, but refused to let it touch her skin.  It would be too much like Gavin holding her and she couldn’t allow that either.

She grabbed the robe with two fingers and her thumb, holding it away from her as though it smelled foul, and dropped it on the floor in the closet.  She sighed.  It would be the start of the pile of items she wasn’t keeping which included anything Gavin had purchased, or which would be a constant reminder of him.  Opening her pajama drawer, she saw one of her old ratty t-shirts and pulled it on.  There were clothes all through the closet that Gavin had bought her.  And they would still be there in the morning when she felt capable of dealing with them.              There was one more thing Hannah needed to do before she would allow herself to sleep.  Turning on the computer, she waited for the Internet to connect.  Then she opened the site, which consumed so much of her time.  Her bank account was slowly growing, but her credit hadn’t been magically repaired, and not only was she no longer under-employed, but instead completely unemployed.  There was no way she could get an apartment.  She might actually be worse off than she was before.

To make matters worse, she’d allowed Gavin to convince her to register the girls for school in the area.  If she wanted to keep them happy, she would be forced to pay significantly more for rent than was typical of other areas of the city.  Lake living came with a hefty price.  She held her head in her hands for a few moments, willing the new throbbing pain in her temples to disappear.

Chapter Eighteen

Later than Hannah typically started her morning, she woke, eyes red from tears she’d shed, nose plugged, and her head continued to throb.  Hannah wasn’t sure she could get out of bed, as weak and sad as she was.  Yet she knew instinctively, if she was to save the girls from becoming not only aware of the situation but also concerned for their future, she had to move from the top of the comforter.  At least she didn’t have to worry about making the bed since she had merely curled up on it and never disturbed the bedding.  Even the thought of climbing under the sheets last night had required too much effort.

Mustering all the strength she could, she finally lowered her feet to the floor and moved painfully slowly toward the bathroom.  Maybe the hot shower would revive her, but she seriously doubted it.  Then she had to put on her happy face, since the girls would be expecting her…and Gavin.

***

All night, Gavin had lain awake, staring at the ceiling, wishing he had x-ray vision and could see what Hannah was doing.  Instinctively, he knew she was in as much pain as he was.  He also knew, with deepest regrets, he was the source of the pain.  He may have helped Hannah heal once, but now he’d created a deeper wound than she had ever before had to contend with.

She had taught him much in the short time they’d lived together.  Through her patience and understanding, he had discovered showing his feelings didn’t make him weak.  In truth, it brought them together.  He had to get close to her. There had to be a way for them to fix this.

One thing was certain.  There was no way Hannah would go to Florida with him now.  Yet he couldn’t bear to be away from her.  Sighing, he decided it was time to make the phone call he dreaded.  Slowly, he reached for his cell phone on the nightstand.  It rang three times before his mother finally answered it.

“Mother,” he began quietly.

“Gavin, what is it?”  She asked anxiously.  “Is everything okay?”   

His throat constricted.  “No, everything is most definitely not okay.”  He sighed, then cleared his throat before speaking.  “Hannah, the girls and me, we were going to visit this weekend, a surprise for Mother’s Day, but I…I need you to come here,” he began.

“Tell me what’s happened.”  He could hear her sit heavily in a chair.

It didn’t take more than a few minutes for him to explain the entire situation.  His mother hadn’t interrupted at all, hadn’t asked a single question, and hadn’t even stopped him to berate his idiocy, which showed how much trouble he really was in.

“Will you come?”  The words were spoken quietly.  It was as though he already knew she would refuse his request.

“Gavin,” she said gently, “I can’t fix this for you.”  She sighed.  “You want me to come so Hannah’s forced to share a bed with you again, but she isn’t.”  She paused to clear her throat.  “She could just as easily decide to leave town while I’m there, or sneak down and sleep on a sofa, or even camp out on the floor in that monstrous bedroom.”

The truth of her words hit home. Hannah had spent the night with him, shared a bed with him because of mutual desire.  She didn’t mind then, but she would certainly mind now.  His mother was right.

“So what can I do?”  He felt helpless.  “I don’t know how to fix this.”  He could feel the all too familiar panic rising.  “I only know that I can’t be without her, mom.  I can’t lose her.”  He swallowed hard.  “I love her.”  He nearly whispered the admission.

“I know you do, my sweet.  I know you do.”  She sniffled.  “You’ll figure this out.  She loves you too.”

He inhaled sharply.  “You think so?  You think she loves me?”  He sat up in his bed, finally finding hope.

“I’m certain of it.  How could she not?”  She chuckled.

“I really hurt her.”  It pained him to admit it.  He would’ve rather cut off his own limb than cause her even the slightest injury.  “If you’d seen her.”

“Give her some time, dear.  She’ll come to her senses.  Help her come to her senses.”  Mrs. Meyers sighed.  “And keep me informed.”

The call ended.  Gavin felt convinced he could make this work.  He had to make this work.  His very life depended on it.

When he finally walked down the hall to the kitchen, Gavin found the twins eating alone.  He looked at them in surprise.  “Did you make that all by yourselves?”  They each had a bowl of cereal.

Zoe responded first.  “Yes.  Could you help us with the milk, please?”

They both looked so pathetic eating dry cereal with a spoon, Gavin immediately poured milk in each bowl.  “Where’s your mother this morning?”  He tried to sound casual, but he was worried.  Hannah usually made an appearance by now.  She would never let the girls go without milk for their cereal.

“Mommy said she’d be down in a minute,” Rory explained.  “I asked her.”

“Did you actually see her?”  He frowned.

“No.  She spoke through the door.”  She scooped up another spoonful of Honey Nut Cheerios before he could ask another question.

He wanted to wait for Hannah.  He wanted to see her.  He was afraid of leaving her alone.  He didn’t want her to have too much time to think, too much time to plan her big escape.  He may have half-heartedly planned to trap her in the house before as part of some ill-plotted attempt to teach all women a lesson, but now Gavin was determined to keep her somehow.  The problem was he now had to go to the office and deal with an even more challenging issue.  After last night he had to let Aaron Maddox go.  It wouldn’t be easy.  The man had practically worked for the company since he passed the bar.  Still, he had made a grievous error last night, the kind which could ruin a company or a life.  After puttering around a few more minutes, Gavin decided to send Hannah a text message explaining he had to run to the office, but would be back soon.

***

When her phone vibrated, Hannah was upstairs cleaning.  It started with the mirror.  Maybe it was the shower.  The steamy caused Gavin’s message to pop up again.  When it happened, she very nearly wept.  Though she had cleaned her bathroom numerous times since then, she had always left the message.  It made her smile.  It always was a happy way to start her day, with a message left from the first night they spent together.  Only now the same message made her sad, made her question every aspect of their relationship, made her wonder if any of it had been real.

So she cleaned.  She started with the mirror and moved on to everything else.  No corner of the room was safe.  She cleaned and hoped in so doing she could also effectively clear her head.  Sadly, it hadn’t worked.  When she walked out of the bathroom to her phone vibrating, any of the benefits of the cleaning were already undone.  It seemed like Gavin still thought they were going to Florida together.  He was letting her know he’d only be gone to the office briefly.

Without hesitating, she picked up the phone and called one of the few numbers she had stored in her phone.  It rang three times before it was picked up.  Her mother answered in her usual pleasant tone.

“Mom,” she said slowly.  “I thought I might visit for Mother’s Day.”

“That would be lovely, Hannah.”  Her mother sounded genuinely happy.

Of course, she recognized the other tone in her voice.  It was pity.  Her mother could already tell something was going on with her.  She decided she would spend the four-hour drive pulling herself together.  With any luck, the farther away she was from this house, the happier she would be.

***

When Gavin returned, he was pleased to see that the SUV was still there.  Unfortunately, the same could not be said of Hannah and the girls.  He had called to Hannah when he entered the house.  He had looked everywhere, the studio, the boat, the bedrooms including Hannah’s.  Then he went to the garage.  Her big, old, half dead SUV was gone.  Furious and frightened for her safety he stormed into the house while calling her cell phone.  Hannah didn’t pick up, so he left her a message wondering where she was, when she was coming home, and listing the common courtesy rule.  Then, just for good measure, he reminded her he still had twenty-nine days before she could leave him.  Twenty-nine days.  He would need her for each and every one of them.  Gavin stomped into the kitchen and there on the counter he found her phone, vibrating to announce she had a new voicemail and a missed call.

Gavin sat down on the stool and let out a frustrated growl.

***

The drive wasn’t long enough.  Four hours and she was still just as upset as she was when she left.  Worse, because Hannah didn’t have her phone, because she hadn’t taken the SUV he bought her, if she broke down, as he had so often predicted, she would be good and stuck.  There would be a long drawn out ‘I told you so’ and an even longer lecture on common courtesies.  Shoot.  She’d be getting the lecture anyway.  What she wouldn’t be getting after twenty-nine days was a paycheck.  She would be back to hunting for a job well below her skill set once more.  She smirked for a moment.  What were the chances Gavin would give her a reference?  She laughed out loud as she imagined how the conversation would go.  Then she pulled into the driveway at her parent’s house.

***

The first night, Gavin had food delivered.  He wasn’t going anywhere, except maybe the liquor store.  Too bad they didn’t deliver.  He ate alone in his big empty house.  The next morning, Madge came at her usual time. He heard the front door being unlocked, hoped for the briefest moment it might be Hannah, but sank back in his seat and closed his eyes again when he recognized the all too familiar clomping of his maid.  Apparently she had puttered around for a while in other areas of the house before she found him in the study.  

“Did you sleep there?”  Her voice seemed tentative, nervous.

He pretended to be asleep in a chair by the fireplace.  All the curtains were drawn.  Gavin hoped if he ignored her, she’d just go away.

Madge paused a moment.  “Hannah would never allow this,” she grumbled as she walked over to the windows and opened the curtains.  Then she threw open the doors.  

“Hey!  I was sleeping!”  He nearly growled at Madge.

“Yes, I saw that.  And I have a job to do.  You should sleep in your room,” she suggested gently.  

“Would you believe I’m out of liquor?”  Gavin asked, slightly slurring his words.

Madge had her hands on her hips, just like Hannah.  “As a matter of fact, I would.  I can smell you from here.”

He laughed.  “Would you believe the liquor store doesn’t deliver?”  Gavin asked incredulously.  “Someone should remedy that right now.”

Madge ignored him and went to work picking up the room.  At some point, he had removed his shoes and socks.  He had also left cabinet doors open and empty glass bottles lying about.  Evidently he had finished the last of the scotch, bourbon, and whiskey.  

Gavin watched Madge start picking up the bottles.  “Did I tell you I’m out of liquor?”  He slapped the arm of the chair for emphasis.

“You may have mentioned that,” Madge said before she scurried out the door.

***

Hours passed before Madge saw Gavin again.  When she did, he was sober, clean, and shaven, which was a vast improvement.  Madge was almost afraid to make eye contact.  She wasn’t sure what he was going to say or do next.  She really wasn’t sure if she wanted to be around for it either so she busied herself cleaning the counter.

Sitting down in front of her, Gavin had a grave look on his face.  “I need to apologize.”

Madge immediately froze.  She looked at him and tried to conceal her shock.  “To me?  For what?”

“Well, I was a bit drunk.”  His face colored some in shame and he looked at his hands, clasped in front of him on the counter.  “I messed up.  And Hannah is gone.  And I don’t know if she’s coming back.  And I reacted badly.”  He put his hands over his face.  “I don’t know what else to say.”  Then he stood up and walked away, leaving Madge to her duties.

She stood there in shock for a moment, shocked because of the apology, shocked Hannah had left, shocked Mr. Meyers would even admit to making a mistake.  Hannah had changed him in all the best ways.

***

Slowly Gavin walked up the stairs to that room.  He had successfully avoided ever going up there for the longest time.  Then it was remodeled for Hannah.  There were nights spent there reading with her and the girls.  There were nights spent there holding her while they fell asleep.  Now he was spending all his time worrying over when and if she would return.  He forced himself to open the double doors and go inside.  He had to look around, see if there were any obvious clues as to her whereabouts.  He just needed to know she was okay.  If she needed time, it was understandable, but mostly he needed to know she was safe, and the girls were safe.

In the bathroom, he realized her toiletries were gone, of course.  Her suitcase was missing from the closet.  There was a pile of clothes in one corner of the floor.  He recognized he had purchased everything in the pile.  At least she hadn’t burned it.  He sighed.  Then he saw her laptop sitting open.