Temporary Bliss (13 page)

“Okay, cool. See you then, Superman,” I add cheerfully.

“Until then,” he says seductively before hanging up.

What the hell have I just done because I feel like Alice falling down the rabbit hole, head first into an insta-relationship with Daniel. Shit! I need to tell him about the other penises in my life. Then it’s up to him whether he wants to stick around or not. Yep, that’s what I’ll do. Lay it all out for him and let him decide. I kind of hope he does stick around, though. I’m not quite done with him yet.

Emblazoned by my new plan of attack, I walk back to the nurse’s station to finish my shift, pushing down the uneasy feeling in my stomach about the night ahead of me.

I finish my shift a little later than planned and catch a cab to Daniel’s building. I’m still dressed in my scrubs, and as much as I tried to freshen up and make myself look mildly presentable before leaving the hospital, I know I’m not looking my best. But considering Daniel saw me with less on this morning, and his actions didn’t exactly give me the impression that he was disgusted by my crazy bed hair and morning breath, I think I’m okay. What is truly unfair is that he still looked hot as hell, even just waking up after a night of crazy monkey sex.

Guys have it so fucking easy. I swear to God, I totally understand why women in the fifties were told to get up half an hour before their husbands to do their hair and put their make up on because let’s be honest, I don’t know one woman who has ever woken up feeling like sunshine and roses like you see in those tampon commercials.

And speaking of tampon commercials, I certainly don’t walk around with a beaming smile on my face happy with the world that I’m bleeding like a stuck pig for five to seven days and have to stick a two inch piece of cotton fluff up my vagina. No, siree. Definitely not!

But I digress.

Before I know it, the cab is pulling up at his address. After paying him, I get out and walk through the lobby, getting some sideways glances from the well to do suits mulling around. Holding my head up high, and adding a little extra swing in my step, I push the call button and hop into the next available elevator. As soon as the doors close, I smell my arm pits and decide I definitely need some perfume to help disguise the smell of my day. Daniel may be expecting me to be hot and sweaty, but it doesn’t mean I have to smell that way. It’s only been a couple of weeks; we need to keep in this honeymoon period of great sex, more great sex, and occasionally mind blowing, feel it to the tip of your toes sex. And I’d like to have at least one of those three tonight. That’s if he’ll still want me after our little talk.

Shit.

Did I really think this through? Do I need to tell him stuff that I have done the week, the month, the year before I met him? I kind of feel an obligation to tell him about my ‘friends’, especially considering one of them is his old college buddy Noah. I won’t tell him that we call him The Walking Dildo, though. They may be friends, and Daniel is definitely NOT lacking in that department whatsoever, but still. It’s a guy thing. You don’t look down at the urinal because you don’t want to know what your friend is packing.

And it’s not like I’ve seen any of them like that since I’ve met Daniel. I didn’t take up Sean’s invitation for a drink earlier this week, and I’ve seen Noah at work; but there have been no booty calls. As soon as I found out that he was friends with Daniel, that deal was done. His cocky behavior that day was an instant turn off, so there is definitely nothing going on there now.

The doors open and I realize that it’s now or never.

Show time.

Time to come clean to Daniel and at least set him straight after his whole monogamous/commitment sneak attack this morning when he was eight inches deep.

I reach his door and take a deep breath before knocking. He opens the door with a huge smile, the contagious kind that you can’t help but copy.

“Hey, gorgeous.” He steps forward and gives me a soft gentle kiss on the lips. “I grabbed us some Thai from a restaurant nearby. I hope that’s okay.” He takes a step back and ushers me inside. This is the first time I’ve been to Daniel’s apartment, so I make sure to look around. It’s on the fourteenth floor and has a wall of windows on one side, displaying a spectacular view of the city. The kitchen is on the left hand side as I walk in, with a nice white dining table and chairs breaking up the living area and the kitchen.

Daniel walks up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist, resting his head on my shoulders, and I can’t help but lean my head against his. “What do you think? Not bad for a bachelor pad, hey?” he asks, turning his head slightly to plant a light kiss on my favorite spot just below my ear.

“Mmm, it is great. I love the view.” He releases his grip, and I walk towards the window to get a closer look. “Wow, you can see everything from up here.”

“Yup. And from where I’m standing, the view is mighty fine.” I turn around and can’t help but grin as he lifts his eyes up to mine from my ass. “Even in my sexy scrubs?” I ask with a raised brow.

“I think my hot nurse fantasies might be coming true,” he adds with a chuckle.

“Let’s get through dinner first,” I say quickly, trying to shake off the nagging voice in my head that is telling me to fess up now.

“Sure,” he says, confusion covering his face at my shut down. Dammit, am I really that obvious?

We walk over to the dining table, and he pulls a chair out for me. Is there anything Mr. Holy Grail of Hotness won’t do? I’m failing to see any flaws, and I can always see flaws in men. Noah, for example, is arrogant as hell, Sean, for all his domineering greatness, works way too much and Zander...well, he’s a twenty-three year old man stuck in an eighteen year old’s body. Even if I did the whole relationship thing, I wouldn’t date any of them.

But I find myself here, in Daniel’s apartment, after three weeks of dating. I need to tell him. It’s not fair to let him think I can give him a serious, committed relationship when I’m unwilling to give that to anyone. I can’t forget the promise I made to myself. When I left Ohio, that promise was the only thing that held me together. It got me through the loss and the hurt, and helped me put aside the guilt I felt for willing my miscarriage to happen.

“Mac, are you okay? You look a million miles away?” Daniel grabs my attention, snapping me out of my thoughts. He places a bottle of white wine and two glasses on the table and takes a seat opposite me. “Wine okay?”

“Yeah, thanks. And sorry, I’m probably just tired after last night’s exertions and then a full shift today,” I reply with a sly smile.

“Definitely not gonna apologize for the exertions because I hope to repeat them again sometime soon. But I’m sorry you’re worn out. How about we have a bath after dinner? If you love the view, I bet you will love the tub I had put in.” He reaches over to grab my spare hand, squeezing it gently.

Why does he have to be so damn sweet? I mean, seriously. I’m losing my determination to come clean.

“I have fuck buddies,” I blurt out. FUCK! I bring my hand to my mouth in shock at my outburst.

He pulls his hand back and just looks at me, choking on his mouthful of fried rice. “What does that mean?”

Ah well. I’ve done it now.

“Well, a few years ago I got out of a really bad relationship, like mega bad. That’s when I left Ohio and came back to Chicago.”

“I wondered what made you come back,” he says, his voice laced with understanding.

“It wasn’t good, and I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t get attached to anyone again. That I’d never let a man dictate my life, and after this morning when you said that I’m the only woman who you’re sleeping with, I wanted to be totally honest with you. It’s been eating away at me all day.”

“Well,” he continues, “I’m glad you want to be honest with me, but I kinda need you to explain the fuck buddy thing because I’m kind of losing my mind right now with the possibilities.” He runs his hand through his gorgeous brown hair.

I wait till he looks at me before I explain it to him. “I haven’t slept with anyone since we met, like at all, and I’ve liked our dates and I like you, and I definitely liked what happened last night and this morning, despite my little freak out.”

“I’m still confused. You have multiple men you sleep with?”

“Ah, kind of. They know the score, they know they’re not the only one, and they each give me something different that I need at the time. But we always use protection, just so you know.”

“That’s good. But you said give, so is this going to be an ongoing thing? Even after last night?” I can see his jaw is clenched, and he’s unsure how to handle this.

“Well, I’m not sure. It’s been about a month since I last saw one of them, but if we’re not using protection, I want to be totally honest with you. It’s one of the reasons I was freaking out this morning.” I look down at my plate and start playing with my food, suddenly losing my appetite. In fact, I kind of feel sick now that I’ve come clean to him.

He gets up suddenly and takes his plate to the kitchen, then stands at the kitchen sink with his back to me and his head down, both hands gripping the counter.

I can tell he’s trying to process this. “I need to know, Mac. Are you going to keep seeing them while you’re seeing me?” he asks, not turning around.

“I don’t know. I don’t do relationships, Daniel.” He turns around and leans back on the bench. He is clenching and unclenching his fists, putting me on edge. Maybe this wasn’t a great idea.

“Do you want to keep seeing me, dating me?” he asks, his frown deepening as he looks at me.

“Are we seeing each other? Like exclusively?” I ask warily.

“We’re not
not seeing
each other. I definitely don’t want to see anyone else. I don’t want to take any other women out to dinner.” He pushes off the counter and starts stalking towards me, slowly but with a definite purpose. “Or to the pier, or to the lake, or anywhere else, and I definitely don’t want another woman in my apartment, or in my bed, other than you.” He stops in front of me.

My breathing quickens. He just stalked me in his own living room and made me wet and wanton without even touching me.

“But it has only been three weeks,” I whisper.

“Three fucking good weeks, gorgeous. Three weeks that make me want to see this through.”

Well, hells bells how can I argue with that?

“Okay.”

“So we’re not
not dating
then,” he says, leaning over the table to rest his hands on my chair, caging me in.

“We’re not
not dating
,” I confirm with a sly grin.

“I will tell you this, Mac. I’m going to try and be everything you need me to be both in and out of the bedroom because I like seeing you smile. I like seeing you laugh, and I definitely like you when you’re underneath me calling out my name.”

“Oh God,” I whimper.

“And for the record, since I’m on a roll, I already had the impression that you don’t date like this, but I’m glad you’re willing to try. For you. For me. Maybe for us?” he says, just a whisper’s breath away from my mouth. I tilt my head and get lost in him.

“Okay,” I acquiesce.

“Okay,” he whispers, inching forward and gently brushing his lips against mine before pulling away and sitting down beside me this time.

“There’s one more thing.”

“Mac….” He warns.

“One of the guys, you kind of know him…..well.”

“Oh, shit. No,” he spits out.

“Ah, yeah. I’m Noah’s nurse.”

“Damn. That explains why he was being cockier than normal at the football game. You should’ve told me, Mac. We could have just gone straight to our seats. That must’ve been weird for you.”

“Just a little, yeah, but you made it worth it,” I say, putting my hand on his leg.

“No more Noah?”

“Oh God, no. To be honest, his cockiness was getting irritating at best.”

“So why did you keep doing it then?”

“Routine? Familiarity? Knowing that he’s The Walking Dildo?”

“Fuck me. You call him The Walking Dildo?”

I feel my cheeks flame red. “Yeah. It’s kind of his nickname around the hospital.”

He cracks up laughing. “Please tell me he doesn’t know about it? That guy’s head is big enough already by being a hot shot surgeon.”

“You could say that.” I smile over at him. “So you’re really okay with this?”

“Well, I can’t say I’m okay with it because honestly, I hate knowing that you’ve been with Noah Taylor. But if you want to try and see where this goes with me, and only me, then I’m not going to say no, Mac. I have a feeling that you’re worth it,” he says, running the back of his hand against my cheek before leaning in for a soft kiss.

“Does this mean we get to have a bath now? Because I honestly reek, and I kinda want to see you naked again. I’m all for conserving water and saving the planet, you know.” I wink at him as I take my dishes to the kitchen and start cleaning up.

“Saving the planet...yes, let’s do that. One shower head induced orgasm at a time,” he says behind me before grabbing my hand and leading me towards the bathroom. “Do you need a change of clothes because I kind of like the idea of you wearing one of my t-shirts and nothing else.” He waggles his eyebrows at me.