Temporary Bliss (17 page)

I lean back so I can look into his eyes. Gone is the heated gaze, now it’s replaced with adoration, devotion, and fuck me, one could almost say it was love.

I shake my head and kiss him once again before scooting off the bed around him and walking over to my underwear drawer. I peel off my soaked thong, which earns a groan from Daniel behind my back, and step into a new pair of panties. After straightening my dress, and doing a quick hairdo repair in my mirror, I turn around and see Daniel buttoning up his shirt.

“You about ready to go?” I ask, grabbing my purse from my dresser and checking that I’ve got the essentials.

“Sure,” he says deadpan. What the hell?

“Cool. I’ll meet you in the kitchen for pre-game drinks?” I say cheerfully, trying to at least get a smile from him.

“Not a problem, I’ll be out in a few,” he says quickly, failing to hide his frustrated tone. He drops his eyes to the floor as he leans down and pulls on a pair of black linen slacks.

How did this suddenly turn awkward? I shake my head and walk towards my bedroom door, taking a quick glance at him and seeing anger, frustration, maybe a little sadness on his face.

Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve noticed little nuances in the way Daniel acts, the things he says, the way he touches me. Don’t get me wrong, he still makes me happier than I’ve ever been, and I’ve never felt so fulfilled. The problem is me.

All me.

It started after Noah’s BBQ when I was in the middle of a shift and he turned up to deliver me lunch after I absentmindedly mentioned in a text that I’d been running late that morning and ran out of time to grab food. A sweet gesture, extremely thoughtful and kind, and I loved it.

But I didn’t like the fact that I loved it.

Then a couple of nights ago, we were hanging out at his place, watching a movie and snuggling on the couch (I know, who would have thought that I would snuggle, and enjoy it) when my phone started ringing. I grabbed it from the coffee table, thinking it would just be Kate ringing to vent, and froze when I saw it was Zander. I looked up at Daniel and saw his frown, immediately realizing that he had seen who was calling.

“Hey, Zan,” I said, answering the call.

“Babe, what are you up to?”

“Ah I’m just at a friend’s place. What you are doing?”

“I’m just at the club. Want to meet up?”

“Not tonight, babe. I’m bushed. Had a twelve hour shift today.”

“You sure you don’t want me to totally wear you out?”

I cracked up laughing, not realizing that Daniel’s body had stiffened behind me. “I’ll be fine, Zan. You have a good night.”

“Bye, babe.”

“See ya,” I said before ending the call.

All of a sudden Daniel pulled himself up over the back of the couch and walked down the hall into his bedroom.

That took a lot of making up. I explained to him that Zander rarely calls me and that it was something out of my control. The hurt I saw in Daniel’s eyes cut me to the core.

It was then that I knew that this whole ‘non dating’ thing was starting to get to him. I knew that it would only be a matter of time before our arrangement just wasn’t enough for him anymore. I knew he was growing feelings for me...hell, even I can admit that I like the guy.

Okay, more than like him.

But I can’t think about that now. We have a night of drinking and dancing ahead of us. Surely that will shake his mood.

When I reach the living area, Kate and Greg are sitting at the island in the kitchen talking and enjoying a glass of wine.

“Hey, you guys about ready?” I ask.

Kate looks up at me, and she can tell straight away that something’s up. Maybe it’s the confused look on my face, but I have to hand it to my bestie, she can always tell.

“Yeah, just waiting on you two. You okay?” she asks carefully.

“Yup, nothing that some tequila shots and music won’t fix.”

Daniel walks out behind me. “Hey, man, I’m Daniel, Mac’s, ah… friend,” he says with slight hesitation.

“Hey, I’m Greg. Glad you’re coming along. Not sure I’m man enough to handle Kate, let alone both of them,” he replies with a chuckle.

“I’ve got your back, man. These two are definitely a handful,” he says deadpan, wrapping his arm around my waist. Unable to stop myself, my body betrays me and leans into Daniel’s side, earning a confused look from Kate.

“Right. A round of shots first, and then we’ll get going,” Kate announces, getting off her stool and pulling out a bottle of Jose and four shot glasses.

I’ve got to hand it to her, Kate knows when to change the subject. God bless that woman.

I’m six drinks down, and feeling footloose and fancy free. Daniel hasn’t left my side, and I haven’t wanted him too. I’ve lost all the inhibitions I had left, and I think he’s liking it. My brain has switched off. I’m not thinking about him getting too attached, or that look I saw in his eyes that part of me has been aching to see. The other part, the part that is now deeply and buried under the weight of my friend Petron, can’t let myself return the feelings. Opening myself up again can only end in heart break, and I’ve had enough of that already. So I’m back to living in the now.

Hearing an upbeat dance track come over the speakers, I squeal and put my drink down on our table before grabbing Daniel’s hand and dragging him out on the dance floor with me.

“You want to dance, gorgeous girl?” he says with a smirk.

I flip my hair over my shoulder and give him what I’d like to think is my most seductive facial expression, but being three sheets to the wind, I’m sure I don’t look as hot as I think I do.

He chuckles as he pulls me in close against him and pushes his hips against mine, causing a delicious moan to escape my throat.

“You like that, Mac, don’t you? Knowing that people are watching. That they can see everything we do,” he whispers in my ear as he grinds his hardness into me.

I wrap my arms around his neck and lean in to trace my tongue along his jaw and down his neck, nipping the skin where it meets his collarbone. Moving my hips against him in time to the music, I’m gyrating like he’s a stripper pole and I’m desperate for my next dollar. Just the taste of him is making me horny as hell. Much more of this and I’m gonna want to hump him all the way into next week and not come up for air.

“Yeah, I like it. I like you too,” I say with a smile just as he positions his thigh between my legs, increasing the pressure against me as I thrust against him. I fail to hold back the breathy groan he elicits from me.

Sliding his hands down my body, he caresses my breasts and doesn’t stop until they have a firm grip on my ass. I can feel his cock getting hard against me, and I swear I just came a little in my panties. I’ve been pent up ever since I gave him head before we left home. I’m craving a Daniel induced orgasm, and I’m not going to be able to wait much longer. I hear a growl rumble in his chest as I continue to rub up hard against him, the pressure building between us with every move.

“Dammit, gorgeous, you’re going to make me come in my pants like a school boy in a minute.” I giggle before taking a peek over his shoulder, trying to see Kate, but I’m stopped by a piercing set of blue eyes I know all too well. I shake my head at him, and he arches his brow in confusion.

“What’s wrong?” Daniel asks as soon as I stop moving.

My drunken brain to mouth filter fails to engage. “Sean’s here. At the bar.”

He takes a quick look behind his back then looks back down at me with a furrowed brow. “Sean the spanker?”

“Yes,” I say, burying my head in his chest to hide my flaming red cheeks.

“Hey,” he says, pulling my shoulders back slightly so that I have to look at him. “If you want to go say hi, that’s okay, Mac. As long as you know, and he definitely fucking knows, that you’re coming home with me, and it’ll be my name you’re screaming when my tongue is deep inside you. Okay?”

Oh hell, yes! That’s okay!

Caveman Daniel is in the building, and it’s hot as hell.

“Daniel…” I say before he gently puts a finger over my mouth. “Mac, it’s okay. He’s a friend. But I don’t share well, especially not you.”

“But I haven’t even-”

“I don’t care, gorgeous. I just want you to know where my head is at. “

I look up at him and get lost in his possessive eyes. “I want to stay here. I like staying here with you. You’re my whipped cream,” I slur before laying my head on his shoulder and swaying my hips to the slow song that is now playing.

Wrapping his arms around my back, I swear I hear him murmur, “I like that.”

I stopped thinking and just enjoyed my moment, dancing with my Daniel in the middle of the dance floor, wrapped up in each other. Not caring that another one of my men was in the same bar, watching me dance with the man who makes my heart beat faster with a simple look, a touch, his cheeky grin...

I smile.

I’m happy and content. I have half a bottle of tequila running through me, and no cares in the world, for tonight at least.

I’m in the arms of the man that I lov…like a lot, and nothing could be better.

Until the next morning, when all hell broke loose in my head.

It’s Sunday. Two days after my drunken night out with Daniel where we made out like horny teenagers on the dance floor in front of Sean. Then we came home and continued more adult horny antics until we both passed out.

And now I’m at a crossroads.

I like Daniel, like really like him, but I need to stop this before it turns into more than like. Because when it turns into love, you get your heart trampled on, like I did with Beau.

Beau was the nicest guy when we first met. He had bad boy charm, but he treated me like I was precious to him. When he started to change, I was blind to all the warning signs until it was too late. I held on to the old Beau, the idea of what he used to be like. But the crushing pain I endured when I left Ohio and Beau behind is always with me. It’s why I can’t let Daniel in, and why I can’t acknowledge that he may already be in.

I know I need to cut Daniel loose. As much as we try and pretend that we’re both okay with ignoring it, I know he wants more. He wants a label, an acknowledgement of what I’ve silently given him. He wants to call me his own, the age old caveman mentality of being able to beat your chest and say, “Me man, you my wo-man.”

I just can’t do it. I’ve had four years of independence. Living my life the way I want, doing who I want, when I want. No hang ups, no commitment, no questions asked.

Do I like Daniel? Hell, yes!

Does he rock my world? Yes, again.

God does he know how to rock my socks off...inside, outside, in bed, in the shower. Honest to God, I think the man has a magical penis. If I wasn’t so sure that Superman wasn’t real, I’d say that Daniel’s superhero power was in his pants...or his hands...or his mouth...

God, the things that man does to me!

It’s like he’s Noah, Sean, and Zander all mixed together with extra Daniel spice. He’s more than a walking dildo, he’s the whole friggin’ sex store. He’s proven he can be dominating like Sean, and adventurous and spontaneous like Zander. In many ways, he’s my dream man, but there is still a part of me that doesn’t trust any man, even Daniel, not to hurt me eventually.

But it’s not fair to keep him to myself when I can’t make him happy. I care about him too much to make him suffer because of my fucked up belief system. He needs to go off and meet the woman of his dreams and have a happy, committed relationship with her.

Now to tell him.

Mac:
Hey, is it okay if I come over?

Superman:
Of course, gorgeous. See you soon

Getting changed into my skinny jeans and a hoodie, I hurry out the door, knowing I need to get this over with before I lose my nerve. I just hope we can stay friends after I end it. I let it go on for too long. I was selfish and didn’t stop it before we got too involved.

I walk the four blocks to his apartment, nodding to the doorman as I walk through the lobby, pushing the elevator call button.

I’m a nervous wreck. Every minute that passes I’m warring with my conscience. The sexy devil in her fishnets and high heels on one shoulder shouting obscenities at me about how I need Daniel in my life and in my bed. The pure, virginal angel on the other hand (the only thing that’s still virginal in my life) whispering encouraging soothing words in my ear about being a martyr for the sake of Daniel’s future happiness and the life he can have with a wife and two point five kids in the suburbs. The life I know I will never be able to give him.