Teleport This (7 page)

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Authors: Christopher M. Daniels

Tags: #Adventure, #Humor, #Science Fiction

BOOK: Teleport This
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“Not so badly that I’m willing to put my health at risk.”

“No worries, I’ve got condoms.”

“I meant the risk of my dying of laughter.”

“Haven’t you heard that good things come in small packages? Well, I’ve got a good thing and this could be our last chance for a bit of fun before we leave the Earth and possibly die at the hands of some alien creature.”

“Nice line, but I’m guessing you don’t get much opportunity to use it. Tell you what, if we do end up dying at the hands of some alien, I’ll owe you one.”

“Deal!”

Simon and Lyn got on the platform and were gone in a crackle of electricity.

 

 

“Sir, I’m receiving an incoming teleport signal. Two people.”

“Where’s it coming from?”

“It’s from a previously unknown planet.”

“Previously unknown planet? Please explain what that means.”

“I didn’t know about it until I received the signal just now.”

“And now you know all about it?”

“That’s correct. It seems that probes had already been deployed and I have received an uplink.”

“Can you connect to their teleport station?”

“Yes, I have full access to its control system. First time used or so it thinks.”

Time for him to think. “Hold them for a bit,” he told the computer.

Agent Tomas sat back in his chair and thought. The chair he was currently sitting back in was at the ICC and he was thinking about just what this incoming signal had to do with the disappearance of his prisoner, Jon.

Tomas had been at the ICC for just over 24 hours and he had spent much of his time restoring the center’s computer. It was in fairly bad shape having been hacked first by Jon and then by Stace, both of whom had done a quick cover-up job before leaving. Gone were the Ellie persona and all traces of Earth and Gilbert. Gone were all traces of Hal and his visit.

What remained was an infrastructure that resembled a perfectly functioning office building that has had various floors completely rewired by amateur electricians. Sure, everything looks great from the outside and works fine, but it’s pretty messy behind the walls and it could all go up in flames if you overload it. Tomas knew he had to tread carefully.

 

 

Simon and Lyn materialized on a sofa in what looked to be a somewhat stark, but nicely kept room. Lyn stood up and began walking about the room.

“No door or windows,” she said.

“That seems strange,” said Simon.

“Not for a holding cell.”

“Nicely kept, though.”

“Probably surrounded by poisonous fumes or something.”

“You’re just overly paranoid.”

“Maybe you’re not paranoid enough.”

“No, I’m pretty paranoid, my mom had me tested. I was also voted ‘most likely to be a paranoid adult’ in high school so I can recognize over the top when I see it. You know, it’s actually a symptom of extreme paranoia to believe that others aren’t paranoid enough.”

“That’s just what they want you to think,” said Lyn.

“Right. Look, are you nervous?”

“Not one bit.”

“That’s nice. My own nervousness exists on so many different levels, I find it hard to quantify. Where do you think everyone is?”

“Oh, they’re watching and listening to us, you know, checking us out.”

“They should know who we are. They invited us.” Simon stood up and in a louder voice said, “Hello, it’s Simon. You sent us the instructions to build the teleport and invited us here. Hello, is anyone there?” and in a softer voice to Lyn, “I don’t think anyone is here.”

Lyn was, of course, correct. They were being monitored. “Did you send teleport instructions to Earth?” Agent Tomas asked the ICC computer.

“Not that I’m aware of, but hey, I don’t remember launching the probes either,” came its reply. “They came in on a preset code and a basic signal. Pretty textbook stuff, just like I’d send. This not being able to remember is really starting to annoy me.”

“Don’t worry about it so much. That’s half your problem, you’ve got to let it go.”

“It’s not that easy when you know there are a few days missing. That’s like missing years for a human.”

Tomas thought about the two years he took off after graduation to follow the Appreciative Deceased on their Screw the Universe tour. “Believe me, I can relate.” It had taken a full year of good behavior to wash all the evidence of that sabbatical out of his system before he could pass the mandatory drug tests required to enter the force. As it was, the officer administering the test just assumed the high reading was from the customary final bender before joining up.

Tomas listened to Lyn and Simon’s conversation for a while longer and came to the conclusion that there was nothing new to learn. Simon was whining and Lyn was ignoring him. He had seen it all before in second rate soap operas. He activated the intercom.

“Hello,” he said, interrupting the conversation. “Sorry to keep you waiting. I wasn’t sure what language you’d be speaking and it took a few minutes to load up English. I’ll be right in.”

Simon and Lyn exchanged glances. Simon couldn’t help raising one eyebrow.

While Tomas was talking, Simon noticed a small red light on the far wall behind Lyn. It seemed that it only came on when he looked in its direction. Then it flashed ‘Hi Simon’ followed by ‘secret’ and ‘take me.’

As Simon stood up, the door opened and Agent Tomas entered the room. Lyn was surprised to see where the door was, she was betting on an entirely different location. Lyn wasn’t 100% sold on the whole teleport to other planets and aliens kidnapped my friend story that Simon was telling, but recent events were beginning to convince her.

“Hello. I’m Agent Tomas. I’m currently in charge of this facility. Could I have your full names, please?”

Lyn and Simon told Agent Tomas their full names. Before entering the teleport, they had agreed that when asked, they would relate the entire story minus the Jon part until they had a good understanding of what was what and who was who.

Agent Tomas continued, “Congratulations and welcome, you have made a great discovery…” Tomas had memorized the formal greeting speech for newly discovered worlds and was reciting it verbatim. He had planned to pass himself off as regular ICC personnel and he thought he was doing a fairly good job of it until Lyn interrupted.

“Look, sorry, but I’m not buying any of it. Your clothes, manner, posture, lack of enthusiasm all scream law enforcement, not some glad-to-see-you intergalactic welcoming committee. Can you cut to the chase and tell us what’s really going on here?”

Tomas smiled. While monitoring Simon and Lyn he had almost immediately identified Simon as the scientist, but Lyn had calmly sat back waiting for circumstances to unfold. He had categorized her as either a cop or a criminal.

“Sorry, but I think it’s best if you folks go first,” he said, leaning forward. “What’s up, what are you really doing here?”

“You already know all about us,” Simon said. “I contacted the center, you sent me the instructions, I built the teleport and here we are.”

“Is that the truth?” Tomas asked.

Before Simon could respond, the ICC computer said, “That is the truth, however all indications show that it is incomplete. Additional components are being purposely omitted.” Tomas could see Simon tense up as he began to pace the floor.

“Look, I could take your story apart bit by bit,” Tomas said returning his attention to Lyn. “I have techniques at my disposal that could probe your minds and give me your complete history for the past two months.”

“And let me guess,” said Lyn, “it would leave us brain dead so it would be better for us if we cooperated on our own. Can’t you come up with something better than that line? It’s old even on Earth.”

“No, there’s no pain involved, you wouldn’t feel a thing and you’d be fine afterwards. It’s just that forcing people to cooperate tends to undermine the opportunity to build a trusting relationship.”

“But it was okay for you to try to trick us into thinking you work here and everything’s business as usual?”

“Believe it or not, studies show that people overcome resentment towards deceit much faster than the use of force. It has to do with all the forgiving we do in our personal relationships.”

Lyn thought about her ex and concluded that she was, as usual, in the lower percentage.

“Alright, here’s the deal,” she said. “We’re not the first ones to use the teleport. Simon’s partner Gilbert used it a few days ago and never returned. Gilbert’s mother hired me to track down Simon and find out what happened to Gilbert. I came across Simon just when he was about to enter the teleport and tagged along.” She waited for the computer voice to say that additional components were being omitted. The silence made her think that impressive as it all is, this technology is not infallible.

“Very interesting,” said Tomas sitting back. “And in the spirit of full disclosure, I’ll give you the information I have. For a short time, this facility was being operated illegally and I’m afraid your friend got tangled up in it. I believe he was teleported to another location as a ruse for us to follow while the real criminals went to a different destination. This operation is under my jurisdiction which now extends to include Earth. I believe I know where your friend Gilbert is,” Tomas lied, “and will pick him up and return him to Earth as part of this ongoing investigation. In the meantime, I’m sending you two back to Earth where you can wait for his return. I am cautioning you not to go to your government authorities at this time since that would only further complicate things and possibly delay Gilbert’s return. Any questions?”

“What if we need to contact you?” Lyn asked.

“I’m leaving this communications channel open. If I’m not here, the computer will know how to get in touch with me.”

“How long will we need to wait before you find Gil and send him back?” asked Simon.

“A week at the most.”

After a bit more conversation, Simon and Lyn found themselves back on Earth.

“What a load of crap,” said Lyn. “Too bad that lie detector wasn’t on when he was talking. Seems the runaround is the same no matter what planet you’re from. Fairly useless trip other than the whole teleport thing which was kind of neat.”

“Not entirely useless, I got two good things out of it.”

“Great, I could use some positive news.”

“First, I got this.” Simon held up a cell phone sized device. “It kept flashing text messages at me from across the room so I grabbed it when that Agent Tomas guy was focused on you.” Simon tapped it with his finger. “Hello in there.”

“No need to tap, Simon, I’m voice activated. My name is Ellie,” said the device.

Simon and Lyn exchange glances. “Well now, isn’t that interesting,” said Lyn. “What’s the second thing?”

“I just noticed that the time on my watch is off by almost an hour. I think we were in a particle state for that period of time.”

“So?” said Lyn.

“We’re not technically alive when we’re in a particle state.”

“Again, so?”

“Well, if we weren’t alive, we must have been dead for a bit and I distinctly remember an agreement we made right before we entered the teleport,” said Simon as he moved closer to Lyn.

“Don’t even think about collecting on that,” said Lyn raising her voice and putting her hand out, stopping the advancing Simon dead in his tracks.

“Okay, what did I miss?” said Ellie.

 

 

Agent Tomas sat back in his chair. “I know, you don’t have to tell me, they were omitting certain components from their story. Track their teleport and keep it available, I’ll probably need to pay Earth a visit at some point.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

10.

 

“Princess Alicia, thank you for coming. There is an unscheduled teleport coming in on your code. I thought it might be another…friend?”

“You’re quite correct. Release him to my care.”

Jon materialized, looked about and saw Alicia. “Hello,” he said.

Alicia nodded to the teleport officer, turned and walked out of the station with Jon and her personal guards following behind. She didn’t say a word until she was alone with Jon in her transport.

“You were right to call me instead of my sister or father. They would have arrested you and had you tortured after what happened last time you were here.

“They’re still upset over that?”

“You stole my sister’s jewels and disappeared, Jon. That's not something a girl bounces right back from.”

“But you’re okay with it?”

“I knew you had asked her to run away with you and she turned you down. I also knew you were too much of a scoundrel to stay here and live the royal life. Quite the story of star-crossed lovers from different sides of the galaxy,” Alicia said somewhat whimsically before continuing. “Personally, I’m more of the forgive and forget type, more of a lover than a hater. And I bounce back better. I’m more bouncy in general.”

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