Teacher Screecher (3 page)

Number Nightmare

As Mrs. Garlick slipped hastily out of the room, Miss Fitt lurched to the front of the classroom like a walking earthquake. She turned and slowly stared around the class.

“SILENCE!”
she bellowed, even though it was so quiet, you could hear a pin drop. “There will be no noise in my class! Now get out your math books!”

A flutter of grumbles went around the room.

“SILENCE!”
hollered Miss Fitt.

Bella put her hand up.

“Please, miss,” she said. “We have vampire history now, not math. We don't have math till after break.”

“SILENCE!”
screeched Miss Fitt. “If I say we have math, we have math! What is your name, girl?”

“B-Bella Williams, miss.”

“What is thirty-seven times thirty-seven? You have five seconds!” demanded Miss Fitt.

Bella was really good at math and was about to give the answer when Miss Fitt snapped, “Time's up! Hah! As I thought! Vampires know nothing! You will all stay in during break and write out your thirty-seven times table thirty-seven times!”

“Aw, miss!” groaned the class.

“SILENCE!”
roared Miss Fitt. “Never speak with your mouth open! Vampires should be seen and not heard! And preferably not seen either!”

Lee, Bella, and Billy swapped glances.

“No wonder old Gore was so happy!” whispered Lee.

“SILENCE!
Vampires are a lazy bunch of ghoul-for-nothings! Lying around in coffins all day when they could be doing MATH!”

Grabbing a red marker pen, Miss Fitt stomped up to the big timetable on the classroom wall.

“I'm not teaching any of this useless vampire nonsense. Vampire history indeed!”

She drew a thick line through vampire history and wrote MATH instead.

“And what's this? Bat lessons?” spat Miss Fitt. “Ridiculous! If vampires were meant to fly they would have wings already, without any of this changing into bats rubbish!”

So out went bat lessons and in went—more MATH.

By the time Miss Fitt had finished, the timetable looked like this:

Chapter 4

Monster Mystery

“I don't understand,” said Billy. “Mrs. Garlick said Miss Fitt would be nice.”

“That's only what the principal at Chaney Street told her,” said Lee.

“But why would he say it if it wasn't true?” said Bella. “Mrs. Garlick could have easily found someone else.”

“I know,” said Lee. “Let's ask Ollie after school.” Ollie Talbot was Lee's werewolf friend at Chaney Street.

“Good idea,” agreed Bella.

“He always walks home past the school gate. If we leave on time, we can catch him.”

Unfortunately Bella spoke too soon. During the very last lesson of the night—math instead of PE (prowling exercises)—Billy accidentally squashed Bella's toe with his chair leg.

“Ouch!” cried Bella. “Careful, Billy!”

“SILENCE!”
screeched Miss Fitt. “So. Bella Williams. You again, eh? I might have known!”

“But miss—” Bella tried to explain.

“SILENCE!”

“It wasn't her fault, miss,” said Billy.

“SILENCE!”
cried Miss Fitt. “I can see you're a pair of regular troublemakers. You will both stay after school and write out ‘The square of the hypotenuse is equal to the sum of the squares of the other two sides' two hundred times! Mrs. Garlick will inform your parents of your misbehavior!”

Bella and Billy looked aghast.

“But, miss, it was an accident!” cried Lee.

“SILENCE!”
shrieked Miss Fitt. “Since you're so fond of your delinquent friends, you can join them in detention!”

Lee, Billy, and Bella came out of detention an hour after school had ended.

“Oh brother,” said Bella. “It's starting to rain.”

“And we missed Ollie,” grumbled Lee.

“No, we didn't,” cried Billy suddenly. “There he is!”

Ollie was just walking past the school. It wasn't a full moon that night, so he looked just like an ordinary boy, apart from his hairy hands.

“Of course,” said Lee. “I forgot he had casketball practice tonight.” Casketball was a game a bit like basketball.