Tales of the Hood (5 page)

I couldn't believe my ears. Now I knew why he had written in the letter that he thought Vanessa was a keeper. It was because she ended their affair because of her feelings for me. But did they think that made it alright? I took the ring and dashed it at her and when she stood up I barged passed her to make my way out.

“You're nothing to me now. To think I was going to make you my wife and you tell me the boy that was meant to be my brother is the father of your child,” I said as I stormed out and slammed the door. The fresh air from outside soothed me. I heard her crying from outside but I felt no remorse. “That bitch can rot in hell!” I said turning the corner.

I needed a break. Life was proving to be a bigger battle than I thought. I looked at the gun Maurice had left me. Five bullets in the chamber and I had a head for three already: Holly, Jamal and now Vanessa. The way I was feeling, if they were standing in front of me now, I would be able to do the deed and feel no way about it. I sat in my living room, staring at the faded blood stains on the floor. The image came back: the fire; the question mark. It all just came emanating back to me. I actually asked for a sign from above, a blessing from my mum or something to help me get through this because I couldn't see a way out. The outlook on life was distorted. It was soon after I snapped back into action. Why was I feeling sorry for myself? I'm not a waste man and I wasn't going to start being one now. If I was going to take down Jamal and give Holly what she deserved I needed help. It hit me that I was living life alone. I didn't need just any help though. I needed thugs; real thugs, guys that had my back. After what Maurice did I would never be certain about anyone again but I couldn't do anything on my own. My mum warned me about falling into the wrong crowds but this had to be done. Not just for anyone but for her and her only.

***

That night Vanessa was on my mind. I was going to make that girl my wife. I used hard-earned money to buy a ring and make a lifelong commitment to her, only to hear she's pregnant and the baby isn't even mine. Obviously that meant I had real love for her but now I felt like I hated her. There was no point holding onto the past. I couldn't see how we would be able to move forward from this; the thought of raising my best friend's child as my own. It wouldn't be right. Both Maurice and she were out of my life now so I just had to move on. I went in the kitchen to grab something to eat but when I opened the fridge there was nothing in there. “Looks like I need to hit the shop,” I sighed aloud. I put on my jacket and made my way out.

As I walked to the store I saw a group of young guys standing around. As I got closer I recognised their faces. It was the guys that tried to stick it on me when I was going to Vanessa's house. “Oi prick!” someone shouted. I turned around and my eyes caught the eyes of the sexy female on the arm of one of the guys. I didn't even realise that the same guy who had threatened me was charging towards my face until he was less than a metre away. I stepped to the side swiftly and he flew past me. I wasn't in the mood to fight today but I had to do what I had to do. He got up and came up in my face. “What are you saying now blood? You had bare mouth before so what is it now? Cat got your tongue yeah?” he ranted purposelessly.

“Listen I haven't got time for this. If you're going to do something then hurry up. I don't really want to stand out here all day. I'm hungry,” I said, trying to play it cool. The rest of the group laughed which seemed to piss him off even more. That's when I felt the sharp pain surge through my jaw. Blood rushed down my lip as I turned to see the guy grinning because he got a lucky bang to my face. I began to feel hot and clenched my fists. “I warned you that I didn't want to fight but you're eager for it tonight,” I replied raging. His smile dropped as he saw my eyes redden with anger. I went crazy. I swung punches at every available area on his body; getting angrier with every blow; every combo. He fell to the ground, blood squirting from his nose and mouth. I stood above him, 2Man told you I didn't want it but it seems like guys around here don't understand English these days!” I roared.

The rest of the group stood there in silence. I was preparing myself for the intervention of the others but there was nothing. Then she walked in front of them - as if she was the leader - the same fine figure I was staring at earlier. “You got some talent there babe. We could use someone like you rolling with us. The names Myah and we go by the name of Crime Scene,” she said, gesturing towards the others. I looked each and every person standing before me up and down.

“What do you lot do?” I said calmly.

“Well we ride out for each other no matter what. We're a family. We just have fun with the dead lives God provided us with,” she replied carelessly. I understood where she was coming from. They were all in the same predicament as me; lost in a world which we only knew as the slums. In a place where it seemed things couldn't get any worse: rock bottom.

“Am not who I appear to be. I don't like all the trouble anymore and have certain things I need to accomplish without getting too many people involved,” I said, thinking about the gun I had waiting at home.

“That's what we're about. We help our fellow friends with their problems. Don't we all live a rough life? But with us you can get through it; sometimes it's just company that's needed. Why don't you think about it and holla at me,” she said, scribbling her number on a piece of paper. She shoved it in my pocket then turned in the direction of the guy moaning on the floor. “Get up off the floor. What if that was someone else? You would have let yourself go yeah?” she shouted above him. She turned and walked off whilst the other guys she was with nodded and followed.

As they disappeared in the distance I turned to walk back home. I was thinking; thinking hard. This was exactly what I was wondering about before I left the house and it had literally fallen into my lap. I was unable to judge whether this was a good thing or a bad thing. What I did know is that the protection and strength was an appealing feature. Not to mention the appeal of Myah herself. The adrenaline I was feeling washed away the pain I felt, and my hunger.

***

That night I went to my bed with a mind filled with scenarios. I was considering the offer I had been presented with; weighing up the pros and cons. It sounded decent and Myah was right, I did need the company. She made me tingle. She had this confident, feisty attitude that was stimulating. I wondered if she had a man but then I thought about Vanessa and came to my senses. Not that I thought she would go for a guy like me anyway, but that wasn't the point. She said we would all ride for each other no matter what. That meant if I told her and the guys about Jamal they would help me. I was confused and thought it best to get some sleep and think about it when I was in better state of mind. I lay on my pillow with the gun in my sight. It was the first time I actually thought about it:
Did I really have the guts to commit murder?

The next morning a light shattered through my curtains as I rubbed my eyes to regain my vision. I looked at the time. It was 4a.m. Why the hell am I awake at four in the morning? I thought to myself, smiling for some strange reason. Even though it was so early in the morning I wasn't feeling that tired so I went out to catch some fresh air. It was a good time to think of what to say to Myah when I called her. I walked to a rusty bench a few blocks from my house. There was a dirty looking man laying there sleeping. He looked like he had emerged from a fire: his jacket had holes in it; his boots were worn to shreds and his gloves had no fingertips. I felt sorry for him; to think that the roads were factually his home. I walked up further where I saw another free bench. I sat down and held my head in my hands. I was there for a good ten minutes before I felt a gentle nudge on my back. I spun around and jumped up in my ready position, but as I focused I realised it was Myah. She was laughing at my stunned reaction.

“Sorry if I scared you there,” she apologised.

“It's cool. Anyway what are you doing out so early?” I replied.

“I was at a party down the road but it was a bit ram so I came outside,” she said briefly.

“I hear that. I just came out to sit for a bit; get some fresh air,” I said, looking up at the stars. I sat back down and she sat next to me.

“So have you thought about the offer I made you earlier?” she asked lighting a spliff.

“Yeah I'll roll with you lot if you're that enthusiastic about rolling with me,” I said with my head down. “I didn't know you smoked,” I added as the smell hit my nose.

She put her arm around me. “You didn't know anything about me until today,” she grinned. “I didn't even ask you your name. Care to tell me?” she added.

“My name's Jayden,” I replied, becoming more intrigued by her presence.

“Well Jayden, you wanna go for a little ride?” she said jumping up.

“I didn't know you had a car,” I said surprised.

“I don't,” she laughed, “but I can get one. Just follow me,” she replied, leading the way. She smiled once again. I started to think she had a habit of doing it when I was around. We walked up a bit then turned a corner. There was a nice red Audi parked up.

“How are we taking a ride if you don't have a car?” I laughed, baffled.

“Just watch.”

I watched as she picked up a nearby brick and smashed the window of the car. The alarm went off but within a minute she seemed to stop it. She then opened the door and bent down. Her sexy bumper captured my eyes. So round and fat. I fought the temptation to grab it and trust me it was difficult. As I watched her appealing figure she stood up and the car engine was running. She'd hot-wired it. “It's magic,” she joked. I laughed and jumped in the passenger seat. She closed her door and began to speed off, leaving shattered glass glistening on the blackened ground.

“Where did you learn to do that?” I asked, amazed at what she had just done.

“My dad taught me in case I needed a car in a time of need. Back in the days, where I used to live, there was so much violence going on that there wasn't a day when I left my house and he wasn't scared for me,” she said, focused on the road.

“That's like what happens around here. Only difference is that it's just gotten worse,” I replied, thinking about growing up here all my life.

We drove around the blocks until the sun began to rise. We went from talking to joking, to even a little play fighting. It was coming up to 8a.m. and my body was becoming tired. Myah drove me home and we sat in the car for a moment. She turned to me, “Jayden I really like you. You seem lovely and I've realised we've got a lot in common. Don't be fazed by the way I am with the other guys. It's just to toughen them up. I'm the only guidance they have and I refuse to let anyone take the piss out of them. I thought you were different from when I first saw you,” she confided. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't believe that she was saying this to me out of the guys she probably knew, especially considering the age difference. From her appearance alone she seemed no younger than twenty one but I assumed it would be rude to ask.

“I feel the same way and I'm glad that we're cool. You can't be trying to deal with me how you deal with them lot though because it can't work like that. I don't have that kind of tolerance,” I replied sternly. I wanted to make sure she knew that just because I was young I wasn't dumb and I didn't want to be patronised by her or any of her guys.

“Ha-ha course not. As I said, it's just to toughen them up. You've already proven you can handle yourself.” I looked her in the eye and felt a warm feeling in my stomach. I leaned in and kissed her. Her red lips against her browning face thawed my cold cheeks. In the spur of the moment I let my guard down but I made sure I registered the moment as just a kiss.

“Holla at me tomorrow,” I said as I closed the door of the car. I nodded as she drove off and stepped through my door. Sitting down in the living room I thought about Myah. In my case maybe my first love wasn't my true love but I wasn't intending to catch any feelings. I made myself comfortable on my smoky sofa and let my body doze away with me.

***

I woke up to the sound of a knock at the door. I got up to open it and saw Myah and Crime Scene. I wasn't up to the introduction at that moment in time but I couldn't exactly turn her away.

“Thought I would come by and give you a better introduction to the gang,” she said with a hint of elation. I told them to hold on whilst I hastily got ready. Leaving I slammed my door behind me. I didn't really want them in my house. That was my own personal space and we all weren't cool like that yet. I saw the same guy I had to punch up yesterday for being cheeky. He looked bruised but he was the first of them to speak.

“Since you're gonna be with us more often now I guess we're cool. My name is Jose,” he said as he spudded me and walked to the back of the group.

Two more guys approached me. “You cool blood? My names Jason and this is my brother, Donny,” Jason said, keeping it brief.

“Am good thanks,” I replied. There were two more boys in the gang but they didn't speak much. Their names were Joel and Rico and they weren't keen on making new songs. I was struggling with the thought of remembering so many names beginning with the initial “J” but from the impression I was getting now they all seemed calm and collective. They looked humble but Myah warned me that they were the maddest of them all. They'd spent most of their life in care and had zero tolerance for anything. It was understandable considering they had no stability whatsoever in their early lives.

“So are you on going for a run Jayden?” Donny asked openly.

“Yeah I'm on anything. What kind of run are you talking about?” I asked sceptically.

“Have to wait and see G,” he said smugly. With that said we left the blocks and hit the roads.

***

Chilling with Crime Scene was rousing. We robbed shops and stole people's money; not the petty kind of money I was taking at fifteen. We took tactical approaches to everything we did. It sounds dreadful but it gave me such a thrill. It was fun and we all bonded in a way that I wouldn't think possible. I was looking for company and found a family. But one night things were different.

We were sitting in the park spitting to an instrumental that Jason had put together. Each of us took turns to drop some bars. When it was my turn I dedicated my verse to Myah. We had become an item now and I really liked her, but it would never be as serious as what I wanted to have with Vanessa. Every man rated me for my bars but that didn't matter. Seeing Myah smile was my main priority. I fed off making others feel good about themselves, especially females who deserved to feel good.