Authors: Molly McAdams
“Kay.” I took
two deep breaths in and out, “I'm ready, let's do this.”
After the
outline was on and he got the tattoo gun ready, he gave my hand a squeeze
before putting his hand on my hip. “You picked the perfect spot, this is gonna
look awesome.”
“It better.” I
warned.
I froze when
the needle first touched my skin, but relaxed after the first minute. It wasn't
painful like I thought it would be, it was just uncomfortable. I really think
the worst part is the sound of the gun.
“You okay?”
“Yep, just pay
attention to what you're doing.”
He laughed and
continued his work. The outline was done and he was on to the shading in no
time, and that's where everything went downhill for me. I'd been so focused on
trying to figure out what it was from lines he was making, that I didn't even
have time to think about his big hands touching me. And now it was all I could
think about. I was trying to do breathing exercises so I wouldn't
hyperventilate, but Chase said I was moving too much. His hands gripped and
pulled my waist, hip, stomach and butt as he shaded and it took everything in
me to stop the shivers that wanted to make their way through me. I ached for
his hands to go lower, to feel his long fingers caress me. God this was wrong.
Think
about Brandon, think about Brandon…
I was going through songs in my head
when the gun stopped and Chase tilted his head towards me.
“Are you
humming?”
“Maybe.” Crap,
I hadn't realized I was doing that out loud.
He laughed and
ripped off his gloves while rummaging through a drawer. Walking back to me, he
handed me his iPhone and a pair of headphones. “You're doing great, I'll be
done soon.” He pressed his lips to my neck and went back to work.
The music ended
up being a great distraction from the steamy scenarios that were flashing
through my mind, but more than once he had to put a hand on my upper thigh to
get me to stop keeping time with the bass, and that would start the scenarios
all over again. My hip was so numb I didn't realize Chase was done until he
placed a quick kiss to my lips. My eyes shot open and I ripped out the ear
buds.
“Am I still
moving too much?”
“No Princess,
I'm all done.” His smile and the way his eyes were shining made my heart
squeeze. “Are you ready to see it?”
“You have no
idea!”
He chuckled and
shook his head slightly, “Close your eyes again, I'll let you open them when
we're next to the mirror.”
He placed his
hand on my right hip, grabbed my left hand and walked me a few feet away.
Turning my body slightly he whispered into my ear, “Open your eyes Harper.”
The first thing
I saw was his anxious expression in the mirror. He was worrying his lip waiting
for my reaction. I inhaled quickly and his body locked up when I looked down to
my left side. It was beautiful. There were four large orange lilies wrapped
around my hip, and I couldn't believe how amazing they looked. I stepped closer
and took in the perfect shading and detail to each flower. From the sketches
I'd looked at and his drawing of me, I had known Chase was amazing, but I'd
never thought he could make something like this look so real. His forced
swallow was audible, and I realized I still hadn't said anything. But there
were absolutely no words. First my ring, and now this? Did anything get past
him? I turned to face him and ran a hand through his messy hair.
“Please tell me
what you're thinking.”
Unfortunately,
I wasn't. I crushed my mouth to his and he quickly deepened the kiss. Right
away the other tattoo artists started hooting and yelling for us to get a room.
I pulled back and knew there was nothing I could do about the deep blush on my
face. Chase led me back to his table and put ointment and a wrap over my tattoo
before fixing my shirt, he was all smiles.
“What made you
choose those?”
He beamed his
white smile at me, “I heard you talking to Bree and Mom about them being your
favorite. And ever since that day all I've wanted to do was get you orange
lilies, but I knew I'd probably get punched again. This was my way around it.”
“It looks
amazing Chase, thank you.”
He shrugged,
but he still couldn't contain that smile.
“I'm serious.”
I grabbed his face with both hands and brought him close, “I love it, thank
you.”
Chase kissed me
once and skimmed his nose across my cheek. “God, you're beautiful Harper.”
My phone rang
then, Brandon's name flashed on the screen. “Hey babe.”
“Hey, how's the
tattoo look?”
“Um, it's not
done yet, can I call you after?”
“I'm going out
with some buddies from high school, I'll just talk to you tomorrow, kay? But
send me a picture when it's done. I love you.”
My stomach
clenched, “I love you too. Have fun tonight.” I pressed the end button and
looked up at Chase's closed off expression. “Chase –”
“So you'll need
to go buy some anti-bacterial soap to clean it.”
“Please talk to
me.”
“I'm trying.
Look, here are some aftercare instructions. Don't take the wrap off for at
least an hour. If anything looks wrong give me a call.” He dropped the paper on
my stomach and stepped back.
“Chase!”
“I have another
appointment, and he's waiting. I'll see you later.”
I looked into
his guarded eyes and exhaled deeply, “What do I owe you?”
“Nothing. It
was a gift. But I'm busy, please go.” He turned away from me and walked to the
back.
Aces.
***
Everyone loved
my tattoo, even though Bree wouldn't talk to me for about an hour because I
hadn't told her beforehand or let her come with me. Chase really had done an
amazing job and I wished I could fix things with him, but he'd been avoiding me
since the tattoo parlor. It didn't seem to matter how we ended things lately,
he always avoided me after. It was probably for the best though, Brandon would
be back two nights from tonight, and I already had enough guilt eating at me, I
didn't need to add more. I hated myself when I thought of the kisses with
Chase, how Brandon trusted me completely and I'd gone and kissed the one guy he
had always worried about.
Mom and Dad
went to Lake Tahoe with a few of their friends yesterday, and Bree begged me to
go to LA with everyone for the weekend, but I faked being sick. A bunch of them
were going clubbing tonight and tomorrow and planned on splitting hotel rooms
both nights. I would have wanted to go, but everyone was going with a boyfriend
or girlfriend except Drew, and I didn't want to be left to deal with him. All I
really wanted to do was sit at Bree's house and mope. When I moved here, I
wasn't planning on falling in love with the first two guys that came along.
Hell, I wasn't planning on falling in love during college at all. I wanted to
have dysfunctional relationships and flings, but did that happen? Nope. I felt
like Elena from Vampire Diaries. She has two insanely hot men who are in love
with her and would do anything for her. One of which, she would give almost
everything to be with, and the other she continues to push away, even though
she can't ever actually stay away, so she won't have to admit she was in love
with him too. At least my guys weren't brothers. Thank God for that.
Chase walked
into the house an hour after Breanna left and stopped dead in his tracks when
he saw me. “I thought you were going to LA?” His voice was gruff, and his face
was still guarded.
“No, I told
Bree I was sick.”
“Are you?” He
started to move towards me but stopped himself.
“I'm fine, I
just wanted to be alone.”
“Well I'll be
gone in a few minutes. I just need to grab a few things. How's the uh – how's
the tattoo?”
“Beautiful.” I
breathed, “Can we talk about that night?”
“There's
nothing to talk about.” He called over his shoulder, heading for the stairs.
I jumped off
the couch and raced behind him. “Yes there is, you completely shut down and
you've been avoiding me ever since!”
“I'm not
avoiding you, I just have nothing to say.”
“Why are you
treating me like this? What did I do?”
“Nothing!”
“So this is
what
you
do then? You make girls feel like they're special for a few
days, then treat them like they're nothing?”
He turned on me
right before he got to his room, “You're really gonna put this on me? One minute
you're kissing me, the next you're talking to your boyfriend and telling him
you love him!”
“What did you
want me to do, not answer it?”
“It doesn't
even matter Harper,” He laughed humorlessly, “drop it.”
“It does to me!
I'm so tired of this roller coaster with you. I never know which Chase I'm
going to meet up with that day. Is it going to be the cold or the funny and
caring Chase? Will it be the one that's with four girls in one night, or the
one that tells me how beautiful I am, does amazingly sweet things for me and
notices stuff about me that no one else does?” Okay so Brandon noticed, but
that wouldn't help my argument right now.
He just
continued to glare at me.
“You're all
over the place, I don't know how to act around you, I don't know what you want!”
“I want you!
All I've ever wanted is you.”
“Then why are
you trying to hurt me again?”
“Because it's
easier that way.” His voice was soft now, and I could see the pain in his eyes,
“You're with Brandon. Do you know what it's like watching you with him? Wanting
you so bad, but knowing he's who you should be with?”
“But what if I
want you?”
“Harper,
don't.”
“I'm so in love
with Brandon, but I can't help what I feel for you, and I know you know what
I'm talking about. Whatever this is between us...it's been there since we met.
It's like I can't get enough of you, but all you do is push me away. It's all
you've ever done!”
“Because I'm
not what you need Harper!”
I stepped
closer towards him, “Then why did you kiss me Chase? You knew it would change
everything, and it did. So tell me, why did you do it?”
He ran a hand
through his hair and blew out a frustrated breath, “I needed to.” He closed the
distance between us, “You're all I can think about and it drives me crazy! I
would have given anything for that kiss, and I knew I wouldn't get that chance
again, so I had to. I had to know if you felt something too.”
I threw out my
hands in exasperation, “Was that not obvious? Is it not obvious that I'm in
love with you?”
His mouth was
on mine then and my surprised gasp turned into a moan. He wrapped my legs
around his waist and pushed me into the wall, his lips moving fiercely against
mine. “Say it again.” His breaths were coming hard and fast as he kissed me
again.
“Chase,” I
grasped his face so he would look at me, “I love you.”
A huge smile
spread across his face before I pressed my lips to his, “God Harper I love you
too, so much.” He growled against my mouth.
Chase walked us
into his room and fell with me to the bed. I pulled the bottom of his shirt up,
and realizing what I was doing he let go of me long enough to rip it off and
throw it aside. Our mouths slammed back together and he shivered when I ran my
fingertips over his chiseled chest and stomach. My shirt ended up on the ground
next to his, and my entire body felt like it was on fire when he kissed a trail
from my lips to the tattoo he gave me. Slow enough to make me think I'd lose my
mind, he took off my pants and added them to the growing pile of clothes. He
pressed his body into mine, but it still wasn't enough. I didn’t know if I
could ever get close enough to him.
“I want you.”
He groaned into
my neck and nipped my collarbone, “I don't have any condoms here Princess.”
“I don't care.”
“Don't say
stuff like that,” He huffed a laugh, “I'm only so strong.”
I reached for
the button on his pants and struggled to get it undone, “Please Chase, I don't
want to wait any longer.” I whimpered when he stopped my hands. “I want you to
be my first.”
He sat back and
searched my face, “I can't.”
“You don't want
me?” My eyes widened and my heart sunk. I hadn't been expecting this.
“Of course I
do!”
“I don't – I
don't understand.”
His face was
completely unreadable as he just stared at me.
“It's because
I'm a virgin.” It was a statement, of course he didn't want to be with me, he'd
always made fun of me for it.
“Not in the way
you're thinking. Trust me, I want to make you mine.”
I cupped his
face in my hands, “Then please.” I whispered
“Princess,” his
voice sounded pained, “you can’t want it to be me. With what I’ve done…I don’t
deserve to be given something like that.”
“It’s yours.
I’m tired of ignoring what I feel for you and denying myself of what I want.”
I watched as
his chest rose and fell again and again, when I looked back up into his eyes
minutes later, he finally spoke, “You’re sure Harper?”
“I want you.
All of you.”
The sense of
urgency was now gone, and we took our time getting to know each other
intimately. Each kiss and touch was filled with so much passion, I didn't know
how anything could ever be better than this moment in bed with him. When our
bodies finally joined, I cried out in pleasured pain as Chase continued to
slowly, and lovingly, make me his. I now understood why I'd never been ready
with Brandon, I was always meant to do this with Chase. After we were done, we
fell asleep wrapped up in each other’s arms.
I woke up with
my head tucked into his neck and was already smiling widely, Chase loves me.
Brandon's face flashed through my mind and I quickly pushed it back, I knew I
would have to deal with this mess I've made, but I didn't want to think about
it right now. I planted a light kiss to his throat and wiggled back some so I
could look at his body and trace the tattoos I've wanted to inspect since the
first night I met him. I was surprised that on his chest and the one arm I
could see, he didn't have a ton of them. He had a half sleeve on the arm I was
admiring, his other was now a full, but each tattoo was large enough that I
could only count six separate ones. I bit back a laugh as I thought about the
one that was just above where the top of his jeans sat. It said 'I'm Ron
Burgundy?' Apparently he'd lost a bet while watching the movie, and that was
the result. I was tracing more tattoos on his shoulder when his husky voice
caught me.