Take it All (Blinded by Love) (26 page)

“Lennox, I... I fucked up, I fucked up bad...” he paused, and she could imagine him sitting in his room running his hand over his face in frustration. “I don’t even know where to begin. I wanted to tell you but it’s just not something you’d understand and I wasn’t sure if it would have scared you away and I couldn’t risk that, fuck Lox, you have no idea how much I... how much I care about you, please call me, or text me so I know you’re at least okay.”

The second message played and it wasn’t as clear as the last message. His voice was more slurred and staggered. “Lox, I don’t know where you got too, but fucking call me would you, I’s so worried and just needs to hears yours– fucking hell you doing man,” Caleb’s voice shouted as she heard a scuffle before Caleb’s voice sounded far away in the back ground. “Sorry Lennox, it’s Emerson, Cal’s a little... well I’m sure you can guess. If you get this any time soon, don’t worry I’ll look after him; hope you’re okay though, talk to you soon.”

Lennox erased both messages and hung up her phone. She fell back into the couch with her arm over her eyes as she released a deep sigh. She didn’t like the way Caleb sounded in the last message. He sounded rough and unlike she’d ever heard before and she couldn’t help but feel guilty for making him that way, that all he wanted was to make sure she was okay. Looking at the clock, she saw it was just after eleven. It had been almost twelve hours since Raine picked her up.

She had heard the water turn off before she checked her voicemails and knew it wouldn’t be much longer until Raine emerged from his room and she could then tell him where she needed to go. Soon after she heard his door creak open, Raine came walking into his living room with a pair of black basketball shorts and a black muscle shirt on,this defined arms on showcase. She never noticed it before but she couldn’t help but find it somewhat strange he didn’t have any tattoos; she didn’t know why but for some reason, looking at him, she expected to see at least one or two.

“Stop checking me out, Cupcake,” he grinned at her brightly, “though I can’t blame you, I am pretty good looking, right?”

Lennox stood up, her eyes widening as she grabbed at her throat, choking, trying to catch a breath. Raine lunged forward to her side when she gasped out, “Can’t breathe, your ego is suffocating me.” She dropped her hands from her throat and started laughing at the look of terror on his face.

“Not cool,” his eyes narrowed at her, “I thought you were choking or something,” he said trying to sound callous.

“On what, my tongue?” she asked teasingly.

“You never know.”

“Whatever, anyways, I’m going to get dressed and then I was wondering if you could–”

“Take you back to Caleb’s,” he said, cutting her off, knowing what she was about to ask.

“Yeah, how’d you guess?”

He tipped his head forward, and said in a whisper, “‘Cause, I know you.”

“Whatever,” they both said at the same time then continued to roll their eyes at each other.

Lennox looked at him, her brows pulled together, “Doesn’t prove anything,” she said, sticking her tongue out at him before she moved around him and headed to his room, leaving Raine in his living room laughing.

It wasn’t long after Lennox showered and got dressed that they were in Raine’s sleek black Lexus heading back into the city and pulling up in front of Caleb’s place. Lennox looked out her window towards the house and then around the street not seeing his car parked where they had parked the night before or anywhere else.

“What’s the matter?” Raine asked, following her gaze not sure what she was looking at or for.

“I don’t see his car, maybe he’s not home.” She bit her lip nervously looking at the front door anxiously like she was expecting it to fly open and he’d appear in the door way.

“Maybe his roommate borrowed it?”

Lennox had momentarily forgotten Emerson used the car sometimes and let her lips go as she turned to look at Raine, “That’s possible, will you wait just in case?”

“Already planned on doing that,” he said with a small cocky smile.

“Always ahead of me,” she grinned, then leaned across the car and hugged him. “Thanks again, Raine,” she said over his shoulder.

“No need to thank me, Cupcake, I’ll always be here for you,” he said, and she could hear the smile in his voice.

Lennox pulled back and smiled, “I’ll talk to you later and let you know how everything went.” Her hand found the handle and opened the door then folded out into the warm sunlight that was beaming down, gradually melting the snow away.

“I look forward to it.”

Lennox waved then shut the door and made her way up to the front door. She stood in front of the door a moment, just looking at it before she raised her hand, formed a fist and knocked; her stomach twisting and turning in nervous knots. She sucked in a breath as she heard the deadbolt click and the squeaking of the door handle turn before the door opened and Emerson was standing in front of her.

The breath she was holding rushed out and the tension fled from her shoulders as they dropped. She turned her head and looked over her shoulder and signalled to Raine that it was okay and he could leave. He waved then pulled away from the curb and disappeared from view around the corner. She turned back around and faced Emerson who was looking at her with a relieved look on his face.

“Hey,” she said, her voice sounding small.

“Hey, come in,” he said, moving out of the way and letting her move past him and inside. She walked into the living room and looked around. The coffee table was still full of empty beer bottles and the place smelled of a mixture of smoke and weed. “Glad to see you’re okay.”

Lennox craned her head as she watched him walk into the living room and take a seat in the recliner. He was in a pair of baggy grey sweats and a plain white tee. “Yeah, I didn’t get any of the messages until about an hour ago.”

“That’s what I figured. You doin’ okay?” he asked, placing a smoke between his lips and lighting it.

“I think so,” she started, shoving her hands in her coat pocket, “Caleb not home?”

Emerson looked at her, taking in her clothes that had a wrinkle to them from being crumpled on the floor all night. “Dunno, he was gone when I got up. You wore that last night,” he stated, motioning with his hand that held his smoke between his fingers.

She looked down at herself then back at him, and said, “Yeah, my overnight bag is in Caleb’s car, along with my purse.”

“Take it you didn’t go home then?” he enquired, sounding unsure if he even wanted to know.

She shook her head, “Nope, stayed at a friend’s place.”

“Good,” he blew out a mouthful of smoke.

“Listen, I’m sorry about last night and what happened–”

“Nope, don’t. You have nothin’ to apologize for, Lennox,” he cut her off, taking a final drag of his smoke before reaching across for the ashtray and putting it out.

“I feel bad, Em. Caleb didn’t sound too good in that message.” Lennox took a spot on the couch, curling her legs under her and leaning her arm over the back of the couch.

Emerson sat back in his chair and looked her over with a contemplative look and Lennox could see the hesitation in his eyes as he thought about what he wanted to say before he told her, confirming what she had questioned on her way over, “It ain’t the first time, Lennox.”

Her head bobbed up and down for what felt like an eternity as she let it sink in that last night wasn’t Caleb’s first go with cocaine like she had thought and hoped. But she had a feeling it wasn’t the first time since he had looked so comfortable doing it, like he knew exactly what he was doing; not an ounce of hesitation showing in any of his motions. “I didn’t think so,” she whispered softly, her eyes meeting his.

“Am I right to assume you ain’t here to end things with him?”

Lennox looked at him for a few moments before she replied, “Yeah.”

He nodded his head, “He’s a good guy, the best I know regardless of this shit, and I’m not just sayin’ it cause he’s my boy.”

“I know that,” she said sincerely, “you’re a good friend Em, looking out for him the way you do, looking out for me and being there last night, meant a lot.”

“Ah, fuckin’ Christ,” he mumbled with a laugh, getting up and walking into the kitchen, “coffee?”

“No I’m good,” she called back. “So, you don’t know where Caleb went?”

“No fuckin’ clue. I honestly thought he’d be passed out still when I woke up, but I checked his room and he ain’t there; he could have went into the shop, it keeps his hands busy.” He walked around the corner and back to his spot in the chair, with a mug of coffee in one hand, “I could call him if you want,” he offered.

“No, it’s okay, he could be busy. I can wait for him here–if that’s okay.”

“Of course, he’d kill me if I let you leave,” he laughed to himself. “If he’s at the shop, he could be awhile.”

“I don’t mind, nowhere else I need or want to be.”

Emerson nodded his head then turned to the television where his video game was paused, “I can turn this off, put a movie on if ya want,” he said reaching for the television remote.

“No, it’s fine, I can watch,” she paused, covering her mouth as she yawned, “I don’t mind.”

Picking up his gaming remote he pushed a few buttons and the game came back on. Sounding distracted, he said, “Feel free to crash if you’re tired; you can go crawl into Kingston’s bed if you want.”

Lennox watched the TV as the player on the game walked around with a gun in his hand as explosions went off around him, “You sure?”

“Ya, you look exhausted; I can tell you didn’t sleep much.”

Unable to hold the next yawn back, she nodded, agreeing with him. It was true, she hadn’t slept well and sitting on the couch that felt like a cloud was making it hard to stay awake. “The couch feels comfortable enough,” she said making herself comfortable.

“Know what ya mean– shit,” he yelled, his eyes not moving from the TV as he rapidly pushed buttons on his controller, “fuckin’ zombies–die bitch.”

Lennox laughed as she stretched out on the couch and made herself comfortable. Her head was resting against a pillow; when she inhaled there was a faint hint of Caleb and there was something about his fresh, smoky scent that put her body in complete bliss and made every inch of her relax deeper into the couch as her body felt as light as a feather. Her eyes were on the game Emerson was playing and she slowly inhaled before her eyes grew heavier and became impossible to keep open before the game disappeared and the sound of Emerson’s frustrated voice became further away until it was completely gone.

“You weren’t at the shop, were you, man?” Emerson’s hissed, waking Lennox from a deep sleep.

At first she didn’t know who he was talking to; having woke up not knowing where she was at first, her head throbbing with a headache. “Didn’t fuckin’ think so,” Emerson said, not sounding happy. She thought he sounded close, like he was behind her but as she became more alert and less disoriented, she could tell he was in the kitchen. Lying there, with her eyes still closed, she listened as best she could.

“How long she been here?” the voice belonging to Caleb asked, sounding off, a mix of worry and nerves balled into one

“Just before noon I think,” Emerson said, “so four hours almost.”

“What the fuck man, you shoulda fucking called me,” Caleb snapped, his voice sounding closer, as he entered the living room.

“Thought you were at the shop; she said to leave you be and that she’d wait,” Emerson’s voice said, following Caleb.

“Shit,” he said under his breath and she could feel him close by and his eyes on her, “did she say anything to you?”

“Nah man, she got dropped off, came in and we chatted a bit before she passed out; she didn’t sleep much last night bro,” Emerson said matter-of-factly.

“Who dropped her off?” Caleb asked curiously.

“No clue, black car that picked her up last night, a friend she said,” Emerson said. “But, I’m outta here, Reed’s picking me up soon; good luck man.”

“Thanks, and tell that fucker I said hey.” Lennox felt the couch move under her and she knew he was sitting next to her. She could feel his eyes on her face then felt his fingers softly brush away the hair on her face and tuck it behind her ear, his knuckles lingering, smoothing over her cheek gently.