Sweet Discipline (13 page)

“I mean it. I don’t know.”

He studied her face. God, she must look worse than a cat’s leftovers. She’d cried, which meant her eyes were red and swollen. Her lips were cracked. Her tongue felt twice its size, her nose hurt from pressing it into the bench. She’d tossed her head about.

Her hair must be a mess. She wanted Adrian to see her as a desirable woman, not a pitiful, crying lump.

“Do you have a lover waiting for you?”

She thought of Jack. “No.”

“Any commitments?”

How pitiful she must sound. “No.”

“Single and free, then.”

She flicked a glance at him. His expression had evened out, but it was slightly different. He was still austere, but was that a smile on his face? Was he laughing at her?

“Do you remember our conversation about improving your sex life?”

“Yes.” It was hard to get the word past her dry throat.

“Have we been doing that?”

“Yes. No.”

“Which is it?”

“Anyone can play with bedroom toys.”

His eyes warmed. “So they’re not enough?”

“Not always,” she hedged.

“What more do you want?”

Was he going to make her ask him? She looked down at the floor.

“What more do you want?” he repeated in a no-nonsense voice.

It helped not to see his face when she answered. “I want the real thing.”

“Sex with a man?”

She nodded.

“With whom?”

She flicked a glance at him, then at the floor again. “You,” she mumbled.

“Speak clearly.”

She glared at him. “All right, dammit, with you! Now, are you happy?”

He chuckled, damn him. “You want to have sex with me?”

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Did he need it spelled out? She wanted to make love, not have sex. She didn’t want any more tests to see how long she could last. She wanted to explode with him in her and feel him do the same.

“Maybe.”

She looked up at him, curious. Did he mean…?

“If you earn it.”

“Earn it.” She echoed, her spirits falling. “How?”

“By pleasing me. “

“Haven’t I already done everything you said? You said you were pleased with my progress.” She heard the incipient whine in her voice and stopped. Controlling her tone, she asked, “What more is there?”

“You’ll see.”

She could hardly wait for the chance to do whatever he wanted of her. It wasn’t easy, but her spirits got a boost when she entered her bathroom for her evening shower and found her reward.

Bath oil, a loofah and fragrant skin conditioner were lined up on her bathroom counter with a single white rose in a dark blue vase.

She skipped the shower, ran a full tub and squirted in bath oil with a free hand. She eased into the hot water, sighing with pleasure and rested her head against the edge of the tub. Her body was slimmer, her senses sated. Idly, she cupped her breasts, then pinched her nipples, thinking of Adrian and his hands on her. She slipped one hand down her flattened belly, and between her legs. With a soft stroke, her clit popped out and she circled it, recalling Adrian’s fingers caressing her, penetrating her, making her experience every pleasurable sensation. And he’d promised her sex, real one-on-one sex.

Did life get any better?

It got worse.

She didn’t know what more she could to do please Adrian. She did her exercises as well and as enthusiastically as she could. She ate when and where and what he told her.

She slept and bathed when he told her. She spoke only when he allowed her to. She dropped another six pounds, losing a total of almost half of her goal. What more could she do?

He’d stopped testing her sexually. He rarely touched her, even accidentally. No more opening herself to him and taking whatever stimulus he wanted her to feel.

She’d felt degraded even as her body convulsed with pleasure, but now she missed it. Missed the daily, sometimes two or three times daily that he’d taken her to the edge, demanded she teeter there, then shot her over. She missed his touch on her breasts, her pussy and even her ass. She was hungry.

He’d taken all the bedroom toys, including the Ben Wa balls that she’d gotten used to using while exercising. She found that out when she’d awakened late one night in a 74

Sweet Discipline

fever. She’d touched herself with her fingers, but that wasn’t enough. She wanted penetration, deep and hard. She’d climbed out of bed and gone into the training room but the drawer where he’d stored the bag of toys was empty. She’d searched the entire room and come away disappointed.

And feeling empty. Frustrated. She wanted sex, wanted the hot spiraling increase of tension, the heated release. Damn it, she wanted Adrian.

He’d promised. She’d agreed. Why wasn’t he coming through for her? Well, she reminded herself reluctantly, not exactly promised. He’d said
maybe
, but that meant he could or would. Instead of showing her he was at least thinking about having sex, making love with her, he’d backed off.

He observed her weight training, watched her technique and nodded approval. She finished the last set with the weights and put them to one side. She inhaled, then caught his eye. “I…I thought we were going to have sex.”

“Have you earned it?”

“What more can I do?” she asked, her voice almost breaking. “I’ve done everything you asked.”

“And done it well, too.”

She stopped, taken aback by his praise. Warmth seeped through her veins, and she grinned. “I have, haven’t I?”

He grinned back.

Oh, what that grin did to his face. If he was attractive before, that smile devastated her. She wanted to taste it, taste him. Put her mouth on him and take his tongue into her mouth. Suckle him…

“Then why—”

He lifted a finger. She stopped speaking.

“Very good, Norris. I didn’t think you had it in you, but you’re learning control. I’m pleased with your progress.”

His words were better than a fat contract with an even fatter fee. They zinged through her, spreading satisfaction and a sense of wellbeing throughout her body. Her shoulders went back, her spine straightened. Her breasts lifted.

“Thank you.” Such simple words to tell him how much his approval meant to her.

“So, can we…” she drifted silent, embarrassed that he was making her ask again.

“You want this?”

Her mouth went dry. Did she want him? Did the dawn follow the night? She nodded.

“In words.”

“Yes.”

He waited, all the while watching her face. He must have read desire, humiliation, her want. His eyes narrowed.

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“Yes. I want to make love.”

“I can see that.” He shifted his stance, widening his legs.

She stared at his groin. She’d wondered so often what his penis looked like. Was it long, broad, cut? Now she was going to find out! She waited for him to make a move.

A moment passed, then another and another. “Um…”

“You have to earn your reward,” he stated.

She lifted confused eyes to his face. “My reward?”

“Lose another ten pounds.”

“That’s not fair!” she burst out. “You keep changing the rules!”

“Is that so?”

“I’ve done everything you asked. Let you touch me any way you want. Now you want me to wait?” she wailed.

He lifted an eyebrow in silent reprimand. Norris wasn’t listening. “You’ve pushed me and punished me and made my life a living hell and I won’t take it anymore!”

“Really?”

She was so angry she shook. “Who the hell do you think you are? Some king or pasha with a slave girl you can dominate and treat anyway you want?”

He gestured at the door. “If you care to break your contract, be my guest.”

She glared at him. Oh, she was tempted! She’d been here long enough to make new exercise and eating habits. She could walk right out that door now and keep right on doing her exercises and eating sensibly and lose the rest of the weight on her own.

She could justify what she’d learned so far, and the new habits she’d made, as worth the exorbitant fees. Breaking the contract meant she forfeited the rest of her money, and she was still bound to maintain the spa’s confidentiality, but maybe it was worth it. She’d get out of this place and go find Jack and she’d seduce him and…

No, she couldn’t. She blew out a long, pent-up breath. She wasn’t going to quit.

She’d proved she could get this far. She was so close now to her goals that she could stick it out a little longer. She was positive about that. She just wasn’t as sure she could bear being with Adrian and not having him. “You’ve been jerking my chain,” she said at last. “I have a right to be treated with respect.”

“Correct. Respect your body and it will respect you. Earn respect from others.”

“What has that got to do with making love?”

“Stupid question. Without it, sex is meaningless.”

“But…all those dildos and vibrators, making me wait to come, that’s not respect for me as person.”

He eyed her for a long moment. “Quite right. Sometimes you have to break down the barriers, destroy all the old habits before you can begin to build new ones. Teaching you your limits, taking you to those limits, and then beyond, well, consider that breaking down the old so you can start over.”

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“Ridiculous!”

“Are you the same person you were when you entered
Sweet Discipline
?”

“No-o.”

“Of course you aren’t. You’re in better shape, physically and mentally. You’re acquiring control, replacing bad habits with better ones.”

She nodded. “Okay, so that much is true. But teasing me, arousing me, then backing off, that’s cruel.”

“If you say so. Or,” he paused and challenged her, “you can look at it as an incentive. Lose those pounds and we’ll have sex.”

She felt like throwing something at him. “I don’t want to wait!”

“Too bad.”

She advanced on him, close enough to feel his breath on her upturned face. “You can’t tell me you haven’t gotten aroused, too.”

His eyes turned heavy. “No comment.”

“I’ve seen you. I can tell when you’re holding yourself back.”

“Control is important.”

She edged closer, her naked breasts whispering against his shirt. “You wanted me.

Don’t you want me now?”

He swallowed. She watched the movement of his throat, then flicked a glance up.

Perspiration beaded his upper lip. She lifted her hand and ran a finger down his jaw, then his throat.

He caught her hand in his before it reached his chest. “None of that.”

“Is it because I’m still fat?”

He held her hand for a moment before releasing it. “You are still over desired weight, but that’s not the reason. Your body is womanly, with curves in all the right places.”

He walked around her. “You can’t see it yet, but I can.” He ran his hand down her arm. “Your muscles are taking on definition. You’re building muscle where you were flab.”

He traced a finger around her middle. “You’re getting your waist back. Your hips are smaller.” He tapped her abdomen. “Your belly is shrinking.” He ran his hand over her ass. “Your butt is firmer. Many men will find your body type arousing, an earth mother reaction.”

“How about you?” she whispered, humiliated to find herself responding to his touch. More than responding, going soft and liquid.

“My interests are not in question here.”

Damn! Why couldn’t he give her just a little of himself? He knew all there was to know about her, all the intimate, embarrassing details. Why couldn’t he reveal something about himself?

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She drew on her inner strength. “So, if I’m not fat, what’s the reason you won’t make love—have sex with me?”

He eyed her coolly. “It’s against company policy for one thing.”

“Then why did you say we would?” She challenged him openly, not at all submissive or deferential.

He looked her straight in the eye. She knew she wouldn’t like what was coming.

“You needed the incentive.”

She didn’t like it. She felt betrayed, like a child promised a treat and then having it snatched away. “You lied to me. I hate liars.”

“Hate me if you want. Clients often do.”

She hated being lumped in with other clients. She wanted to be special to him. “Do you promise to have sex with all your other clients?”

His mouth twitched, as though he repressed a smile. “I’m not going to answer that.

Confidentiality and all that.” His smile broke through. “Would you want me telling other clients about you and your arousal rate?”

She glared at him. “Stop laughing at me. I’ve tried my hardest and I’ve lived up to my part of this deal. So when are you going to live up to your part?”

“Are we back to the sex or are you talking about getting you in shape?”

“You know I mean the sex!”

He walked away from her. At the door, he stopped, turned and looked her over from head to foot. She couldn’t decipher his expression, but her spirits rose. He came back. “If I decide to make love to you, you’ll be the first to know. If we have sex, it will be private, just between us.”

Aha. Maybe she had something going here. “So if I rat you out, you’ll get in trouble with the management?” She grinned. “With the dragon lady?”

He laughed. “She is, isn’t she?”

“What’s the second thing?”

He looked taken aback.

“You said company policy was the first thing. So what’s the second?”

He crossed his arms over his chest. “That’s personal,” he said through thinned lips.

She snorted inelegantly. “And all those things you’ve been doing to me weren’t personal?”

He shook his head. “If the client wants them. You did.”

Oh, he had an answer for everything. She turned her back on him and walked away, half expecting him to order her back.

He did nothing of the sort.

She stepped on the treadmill and switched it on. She started slowly, warming up with a gentle pace. Ignoring him. He came to stand at her side, watching her technique.

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He nodded. “Good. I’ll leave you to it.”