Sweet Christmas Kisses (103 page)

He continued to stare at her. She read it in his eyes when he reached a decision. “No, ma’am, Ms. Dawson. Nobody paid for a round trip for this tree. What you do with it is your business. Do you want me to carry it inside?”

“No.”

“Have it your way.” With a nod, he left the way he’d come.

Jess put her fists on her hips. Annoyed. Seriously. But he was gone now and there was no sense in being angry with him. He was a tree delivery man. Probably worked for the rental company. Just one more service rendered.

Sweet of Rob to arrange this. It would be much sweeter if he and his family actually made it here for Christmas.

She sat again in the rocker. The treads squeaked as she worked it back and forth. No matter how hard she stared at the ocean, she couldn’t escape the sight of the tree. It filled the left side of her vision. The sharp smell of fresh evergreen assaulted her nose.

A couple strolled by on the beach. They raised their hands and waved. The tree had attracted their attention. They pointed, grinned, and waved again.

Jess smiled back, in chagrin, and returned their wave. In the beach world, was a Christmas tree on the porch, even if undecorated, the equivalent of a couch on the porch? Of course not. People decorated outdoors. Over the years she’d thrown a few lighted nets over a bush or two. Hadn’t she hung a wreath on the post out here when she was decorating yesterday? Now the wreath had a tree for company.

Let the tree stay out here. She had no use for it. Not yet, anyway.

Later in the afternoon, she saw a box on the porch. Dented and scuffed, the cardboard box was stashed under the lower branches of the tree.

Jess lifted a flap. Sparkly garland was jumbled with ornaments. A crocheted candy cane was mixed in. She dropped the flap, stepped back and looked around. No one.

She tapped her foot. Really? Just as well he was long gone. She might have a word or two to say to him about this.

She’d brought her own box of ornaments but even those were likely to stay packed away. There was no point in hanging balls and bells and stringing garland through the branches if it was only for her.

****

After a half-hearted walk on the beach, and a return to the decorated, but lonely house, Jess dozed on the sofa. Knocking woke her. She sat up, disoriented, and then remembered where she was and why. The knocking came again and she rushed to the door.

She wore dark leggings and a long, colorful top. A silk scarf was around her neck. Her coat was under her arm. She reached down to pick up the bags at her feet.

“Lila. You made it.” Jess grabbed a small suitcase, then stepped aside.

“Of course. I told you I’d be here as soon as the car was fixed.”

“You told me? I don’t think so. Mama told me.”

“I left you a voicemail.”

“Maybe I need new phone service or a new phone. I’m not getting my voicemails promptly these days. But you’re here now. That’s good.”

She looked around. “Where’s everybody?” She dropped her bags on the floor.

“I don’t know where to start.”

Lila stared. “Jump in anywhere.”

“Mama went to visit Aunt Lucy.”

“Lucy? In Charleston? Is she sick?”

“A cruise.”

“What? No, wait.” She held up her hand. “I need coffee. The last part of the drive nearly did me in.”

“Sorry,” Jess shrugged. “I don’t have any. I’m not a coffee drinker. Mama was bringing her own, but…”

“She’s with Lucy.”

“I have cola.”

“Bring it on.”

When she returned with the bottle and a glass, Lila was staring fixedly toward the window.

Jess said, “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” The afternoon was already fading to evening, especially early this time of year, but the sky was clear and the waves rushed to shore as if made to order.

“There’s a tree on the porch.” Lila walked up to the window as she unwound the scarf from her neck. “A fir tree. A Christmas tree,” she amended. “In a stand.” She turned examining the room. “Not in here. Did you need help getting it inside?”

“It’s fine where it is. Our brother ordered it.”

“Where is he? Out on the beach with the kids?” She observed the room again. “I don’t see any of the kids’ litter. Don’t tell me they went to Aunt Lucy’s, too?”

“No, the kids are sick.”

“When did you find out?”

Jess shrugged. “Yesterday. Last night actually.” She sat the soda bottle on the kitchen counter and turned her back. “Would it have changed your plans if you’d known?”

A long silence.

Lila said, “So what
is
the plan, then?”

Jess turned back to face her. “Look, you don’t have to stay. I know this isn’t shaping up to be much of a Christmas.”

“Which room is mine?”

“I was going to put you on the top floor, but take your pick. There’s plenty of rooms to choose from.”

As she headed up the stairs, Jess heard Lila mutter, “I’m thinking oceanfront.”

Jess wandered back out to the porch and leaned against the railing.

Her mother was gone on a cruise. Rob was home with his wife and sick kids. Or maybe a better offer had come along for them, too.

Mentally, she stopped herself. There was no value to thinking that way. Pure poison. So, Rob and Elaine were home with sick kids. Maybe even sick themselves by now.

And Lila was here.

Lucky Jess.

In the morning, Jess reached for her robe before leaving the blankets. The bed was near the sliding doors and the cold night air had found its way in and around the panels. She donned her robe and slippers, shivered, and went to the balcony doors that overlooked the beach below. The chill emanating from the glass reminded her it was winter and only days until Christmas, but the sky was a high, pure blue and the morning clouds were such light, frivolous bits of fluff that it was hard to worry about the weather. As enjoyable as the mild weather was, did it really matter? Clearly, there wouldn’t be any Dawson family events on the beach this Christmas.

The evening before that she’d spent with Lila was underwhelming. Jess felt the shadow of gloom still hovering. She’d tried to interest her sister in the photo album, but Lila flipped through the pages, frowning and remarking on how few photos she was in. Jess reminded her she was younger, only a toddler that last year at the beach. She pointed out the photos including Lila and told her what a cute baby she’d been.

She’d tried to interest her in a puzzle or a game. Even a book.

Lila had no interest in anything Jess had brought. Instead, she found a TV show about a group of annoying people. They were supposedly living in reality, but not in any kind of lifestyle that Jess recognized, or wanted to be part of. Lila settled in on the sofa. Jess saw the opportunity and said goodnight. It had been a relief to go up to bed.

This morning, a new day, would be better.

Downstairs, through the living room window on the ocean, she watched gusts pick up sand and throw it into the air like kids throwing dirt. The dunes grasses bent one way, then were whipped the other way. But the chill night air was already being pushed out by gulf air working its way north. Inside the house, it was too warm for the heat, yet too cool for the air conditioning, so Jess opened the front windows a few inches.

No sign of Lila yet. She’d sleep in this morning, no doubt.

The fir tree, semi-sheltered by the porch roof and the privacy panel, seemed okay for now, but if the weather was turning, she needed to make a decision.

But she already had, hadn’t she? The tree was staying out here with the box which was still untouched under the lowest branches.

Jess stopped. She needed a mood adjustment. Only positive thoughts were allowed.

Something sparkly peeked from between the tree branches. She walked outside and moved around the tree to touch the lone ornament, a silver ball, hanging there alone. She asked aloud, “How’d you get here?”

A noise came from the far side of the privacy panel. Startled, Jess stood immobile. That half of the duplex was vacant.

A door closed and footsteps scraped on the porch boards. A man appeared around the end of the panel. He grinned. “Good morning, Ms. Dawson. How are you? Still want the tree outside?”

She stepped back from the tree. “I thought…I mean, what are you doing here? I thought this unit wasn’t rented.”

He had a quizzical look. “Does it matter?”

Jess shrugged and pretended to look away, “Of course not. I was surprised, that’s all.”

He leaned against the railing, but stayed on his side of the invisible line. “I’m working in there. Shouldn’t disturb you.” He left the railing and moved casually onto her side of the porch. He appeared to be making a point of viewing her through the foliage of the fir tree. “But let me know if I do.”

Jess resented that he was making the tree part of the interaction, perhaps even trying to inject some levity.

“I’m sure you won’t. Excuse me.” She moved toward the door, but then stopped. This was silly. There was no excuse for such rude behavior.

 She turned back toward him. “Sorry. Things aren’t working out as I’d planned. I’m taking my frustration out on you.”

He shrugged. “No problem.”

“It’s just that on top of the rest of the…plans not working out, you deliver a tree, a box of ornaments and you’re working here next door. It’s so...unexpected.”

“It’s the off-season.”

He said it simply, unremarkably, as if it explained everything. And maybe it did. Odd jobs in the off-season. Maybe she was trying to make everything and everyone stay neatly in their assigned places. Where did Christmas tree delivery guys belong anyway? Why not next door?

He said, “I hope you don’t mind me asking…”

Jess did mind, but trying to be nice, she nodded.

“It’s a big house. You have people coming to spend the holidays down here with you, right?”

Jess tossed her head as if none of it mattered. “Sure. But there’s been a few unforeseen issues. They’re still coming, but some of them…may be late.”

He seemed to seriously consider her answer, then said, “Glad it’s working out. If you need anything, knock on the door. I’ll be around.” He finished with another grin, moved away from the railing, and disappeared behind the privacy panel.

She went into the house thinking about her too-friendly neighbor. Lila was standing just inside the door, holding her phone. Her dark hair was glossy and she’d braided some locks and arranged them artfully on the side.

“I like your hair that way.”

“I was up on the balcony and overheard. He has a nice voice. Looks interesting.”

“Are you?”

“Interested? Me? No. Maybe you should be.”

“Thanks, but no thanks. He’s a guy working on the unit next door, that’s all.”

“What’s his name?”

Jess paused. “How would I know?”

“You could ask.” Lila punctuated the words with a look.

Jess walked to the fridge. “Want some breakfast?”

“No, thanks. I’m going to find coffee.” She looked around. “Where are my shoes? I thought I’d left them down here.”

Jess reminded herself—only positive thoughts. She said. “Take the house key, just in case, and don’t stay away too long. Rob and his family could arrive anytime.”

Lila frowned. “Didn’t you say Janie was sick?”

Jess took the butter and eggs from the fridge. “Kids bounce back quickly from these bugs. They might decide to surprise us. It’s exactly the kind of thing Rob would do. They could’ve started driving first thing this morning.”

“Jess.”

“Please, you’d be as happy as me to see them drive up.”

Lila was silent.

Jess asked, “Would you have come? If you knew the others...”

“You asked that before.”

“You didn’t answer.”

“Fine. Would I have bailed on you if I’d known the others weren’t coming? Left you sitting alone in this rental house for Christmas even though you deserve it because you arranged this on your own without asking anyone first?”

“Sure, I know. It was a sweet, sentimental thing to do, but not considerate. It was controlling.”

Lila pronounced the statement as if everyone agreed those were the facts. Controlling. They must’ve had a discussion among themselves, without including her, about her doing this for Christmas.

“Everyone was okay with it when I invited them.”

“No one wanted to hurt you. We know how you felt about Dad. About him being gone and all.”

“How I felt?” Her voice had risen nearly an octave. She pulled it back down to a more civil level. “We all felt his loss. It was hard on all of us.”

Lila went silent again. Jess looked at her from the corner of her eye and saw Lila’s attention had moved on. Lila was focused on her phone, her fingers moving at a fast rate over the keys.

“How’s Pete?” Jess’s tone was cold. She regretted the words immediately and wished she could grab them back.

Lila’s eyes grew wide. “Are you trying to be hurtful? It’s not like you’re happy that we’re seeing each other.”

The question sounded rhetorical. Jess didn’t think she expected an answer.

Lila didn’t. She hit a key on her phone and then it was at her ear. She was already speaking as she climbed the stairs. Jess felt dismissed. Or maybe punished.

At the moment she’d spoken maybe she
had
wanted to hurt her sister—a swift hit back because Lila had hurt her and then started texting like it was nothing. It hurt that Lila, Rob and Mom had apparently discussed, in negative, critical terms, her arranging this Christmas trip to the beach. And disrespectful to their father because, in part, this trip was in his memory. It seemed that she, Jess, was the only who cared.

At the very least, she was the only one who cared about the trip. For the rest of it, Jess reminded herself that it wasn’t Rob’s fault that his kids were sick, and she couldn’t blame her mother because her heart was still tender.

Jess moved forward with cooking breakfast. She couldn’t remedy the coffee situation for her sister, but the smell of scrambled eggs would surely lure Lila back downstairs.

Someone knocked on the side door. Jess, excited, moved the frying pan to a cold burner. As she rushed to answer the door she called up the stairs, “Lila, come down!” Her heart soared. She yanked the locks open and swung the door wide.