Surrender: The Greek Affair Series Book One (22 page)

(It felt safe and it felt right. It was where she belonged.)

Every time they made love she discovered another layer of this gorgeous complicated man.

They lay there, wrapped and wrapped in each other completely. When their panting subsided he scattered light kisses all over her face and whispered in her ear,

“Now, that was not so hard to admit.”

It was not a question but a statement. It was not hard to admit but it was hard to say it out loud. She did not say it under duress, she said it in a great moment of outpouring of the love she had for this man, who had come into her life like a storm that refuses to subside, but keeps gathering force as it moves along.

They rest for a short time. Then they decide to get dressed and go for a stroll down to the port for coffee.

As Hope is getting dressed, she realises her skirt is not doing up easily, around the waist.

“What the hell! I’ve lost weight and yet my waist has got thicker. What is happening to me?”

“What’s wrong, baby? Let me have a look.” He comes up to her and tries to button up her skirt.

“You are looking thin and I think you need to get back to Athens and see your doctor soon.”

And with that they leave the house and meander through the cobblestone lanes towards the port and into the afternoon hub of people and their
vόlta
(stroll).

Chapter Eighteen

It’s another lazy summer evening. The days are long, hot and very sultry, very sexy, very hedonistic and wonderful, in this Greek Paradise.

Hope is restless, very tired and very emotional. She tears up at the slightest thing, things that in many ways should not affect her, as they have nothing to do with her life. And when it is directly an issue pertaining to her, she’s a complete mess. She doesn’t understand what is happening to her.

Pétro is back and is with Alexander. Hope, Jason, Pétro and Alexander have all become close. They are all sitting on Hope’s veranda drinking coffee and indulging in patisserie bought at the local baker. It’s sunset again and it’s the best time to sit and to watch the sun setting behind Mount Athos. They watch the sunset changing many shades of orange, until it dips behind the mountain and the colors become more muted and take on different hues.

Music is playing and for some reason of late, Hope wants to listen to Greek music. Greek music with extremely poetic and emotional lyrics. They are exotic tunes, voices that lilt in that Middle Eastern style, and even when contemporary Greek songs are sung without the Middle Eastern instrumentation, the human voice still lilts that way. She knows it’s just her, as all the bars and clubs play just about everything other music except Greek music, and for whatever reason, her fragile emotions are reacting to this music.

She thinks it’s because of her teary mood and the ongoing sadness she has had of late.

“So, what’s happening guys? Eat and then what?” Pétro asks. Hope looks at them and makes a suggestion.

“How about we go to the cinema? There’s a great outdoor one. We could grab a bite, if you don’t mind eating early and going to the late session, which I think starts at ten. After that we could grab a drink somewhere.”

***

Another serene evening. They are sitting by the port at one of the many
tavérnes
, eating seafood and fresh vegetables. Some of Hope’s teary emotions subside and once again she looks at her friends, the lit fortress, the sea, the fishing boats, the
tavérnes
, and the people milling around. She smells the food, the sea, the scent of the beautiful man next to her and the aroma of the Greek summer and she forgets all those things that are making her unhappy and moody, even these things that are making her unhappy when they should be making her happy. For this moment, at least, in her life once again she knows she is blessed.

They drink a bottle of the local white wine and they are all in the right frame of mind for whatever the rest of the evening has to offer. Hope drinks very little, as she’s not feeling great and she doesn’t want to say anything to dampen the evening. She knows that she’s having a moment again; she’s been having a moment for the last few days, ever since she told Jason she loved him.

It is bothering her that she allowed herself that luxury of expressing her feelings but it has made Jason happy, so she tells herself that whatever happens, and whenever they part, he can at least know that she did love him and that she was honest about every kiss and every embrace she gave and received.

Here she was again, with three gorgeous men, who were her friends and no matter what, she knows she can rely on Pétro in her life’s curves. And now she can also rely on Jason, because she knows he does care. She should accept his care and his love and feel blessed that she is the recipient, blessed that she has found out what ‘to be loved’ feels like, as well as the feeling of falling in love, including what it means and what is expected from parties involved.

The evening rolls on, with food and the cinema and they end up at a club with music and drinks. Everywhere they go they see people they have befriended. These are the perks of coming to the same island over and over again in the summers.

Hope has been coming here for four years now and every year it feels more like home, more familiar, yet she still feels like a tourist. This is good, as she doesn’t have to fall into the rhythm of the everydayness. She sees people she has not seen much this year as she has been preoccupied with the Jason factor. It’s great to see familiar faces, to chat and to socialize outside the cocoon she has built during this summer, but she realises Jason has done much the same. He does not hang out with his friends as much, although he has gone out on his own at times, but it has been more about her than him.

The night ambles on with the sea breeze in her hair, caressing her skin, blowing gently on the fine fuzz of her cheeks, the man she loves next to her and a bunch of good friends, on an idyllic Greek island in the middle of the relentless Greek summer. How lucky can anyone be!

She bends over and tells Jason she’s going to the ladies. “I’ll escort you.”

Years ago, when she first started travelling, she was always taken aback when on a night out at a nightspot the man would escort a woman to the ladies, and wait at the door to escort her back to their seats. Hope loves that attention to detail, coming from men towards women. The younger generation is not that pedantic about all these old world manners, but some still carry them on and Jason is one of them.

She grabs her handbag and he follows her. As he’s walking behind he comes up close, grabs her, and holds her close as if to protect her. “
Agápi mou
, (my love) you’re bleeding through your clothes.”

Oh no goddess, not this again, and she suspects she must be bleeding a lot because she had prepared her body just in case her period came. She stands there with him covering her and contemplates what to do.

“Jason, go get something to throw over me. I’ll go in the rest rooms and do some damage control and when I come out, please cover me and drive me home.”

He kisses her on top of her head, walks her to the door of the rest rooms and he turns to do as she has requested.

When Hope comes out after cleaning herself up as much as possible without clean clothes, he is there with a towel which he wraps around her. She doesn’t even ask where he got it from. She’s much too distressed and embarrassed, and just wants to get home, have a shower and change. She’s in the car, without saying goodnight to anyone, but Jason reassures her that all her goodnights have been taken care of. Her distress brings her to tears and she starts sobbing.

“Are you in pain
psyhí mou (mt soul)?”

“No, I’m not in pain but this is so bad. Where is all this bleeding coming from? I don’t know what is happening to me.”

He reaches over, wipes her tears with his thumb and cups her cheek with his warm hand and she turns her face into his palm.

“Whatever this is we will see it through together. You must see your gynecologist as soon as possible.” Hope looks into his eyes, as he takes them off the road briefly and says softly,

“Se Agapό.”(I love you)
He smiles and looks at her with the most loving look she has ever encountered, puts both hands on the steering wheel and they drive silently back home.

Hope showers, and makes her body as bullet-proof as possible from the onslaught of the bleeding. This is not a normal period, something is happing to her and she does not understand. She feels drained physically and emotionally. She has been losing weight but then again, as much as she likes good food, she doesn’t have an appetite. She’s having lots of sex; more then she has had before in her life. And she’s walking a lot, swimming, not to mention the constant heat, and in her mind the weight loss is all part and parcel of her current lifestyle. All of this is coupled with her insecurities about her relationship with Jason, her love for him and all the other decisions she has to make, plus the responsibilities that have befallen her. All of which, she is sure have to do with the weight loss, but then how does she explain the widening waistline? What the hell is happening to her?

It’s late and Hope is very tired. She can’t think straight. Jason puts her to bed like a small child, he tucks her in and she feels as if she’s seven years old, (when she needed to be tucked in and there was no one there to tuck her in).

She looks into his face and sees the love in his eyes. He bends and kisses her softly on the mouth, “try and sleep
glíka mou
(my sweetness). I’ll come to bed as soon as I shower; I’m here for you, next to you. Ok? Wake me if you need anything during the night.”

Hope is awake half the night sleeping between changes, (as she was bleeding too much), not allowing her to sleep. Along with excessive bleeding, she has some cramps. Jason is awake with her nearly all night. He kept asking her if she needed help, and she kept saying ‘no’. By morning the bleeding had subsided to a normal heavy period, something she was used to. But she knew that whatever this was, it was certainly not normal. She has to see to it as soon as she hits Athens and she has to get there soon.

She can’t say that the next few days were without care, even on this piece of paradise, with so much love around her. But to be loved and cared for in such detail was beyond any of her expectations and she always wonders about Jason’s need to care so much. She wonders at that kind of love and dedication from a young man, but then again there was nothing young about him except his chronology!

She is not moving much from home the next few days and as much as she has told him to go and meet up with friends and get out, he insists on hanging around with her and being her friend and carer. She feels tired and washed out to say the least, but every day was better. He has made it his mission to make sure she eats, sleeps, and any other need she might have.

“Why are you doing this? I’m fine. I’m not an invalid. It was just a very bad period.” It’s late evening, and they are sitting on the veranda having an early evening meal that Jason has put together of pasta with prawns with a fresh green salad.

He stops eating and looks into her face,

“Hope look at me.” She lifts her head off her plate and looks into the face with those green pools staring at her across the table with tenderness.

“Because I can and because I want to.”

“Why? I obviously am not sure of the depth of my love because if I were, I would throw caution to the wind and run away into the sunset with you.”

He reaches over, holds her hand and says in Greek,

“I love means “I” love”, what the other does is their business. Is that enough for you? You have to stop over analysing everything. This is where I want to be, here with you not because you’re feeling under the weather but because you’re you. Get it?”

He looks deep into her eyes and she feels crap. She feels all that need to commit to him and yet she can’t, no matter how much her love or need for him is. He knows this and it is what makes her love him even more.

“I rang the gynecologist’s office. I have to go back to Athens in a few days and I have to get ready for work. The summer is officially over for me.” She looks at him waiting for a reaction, and he squeezes her hand.

“Baby, look at me,” he pulls her hand when she tries to look away. “Tell me what I can do.”

“Nothing. I don’t want anything from you. I am just telling you.”

“So are you dismissing me? The end for us? Or are we moving on together?”

She has no idea what to say to him. She finds some vocabulary that is all twisted inside her.

“Agápi mou (my love), I have not thought far enough ahead. The thing is, I spoke to my boy and we made a decision that he will not come back, which means my time is limited in Europe. I will go back sooner than expected.” She tells him this, looking at his face and watches the reaction that seems stoic as far as she can tell, and she waits for him to say something.

He looks at her and waits, as if he is mulling over what he has just heard. “Ok I understand. I would have liked it a lot if you had told me about this decision.” He stops, lost for words.