Summer Sunsets (13 page)

“
What…what are you doing?”
she whispers as her hand drops from the knob and she leans against
the door.

“
Trying to talk some sense
into you. I’m not sure it will work, but I guess I’m stubborn that
way.”

She closes her eyes and
leans back. “Look, this is hard enough already, Devin—”

“
Hurting someone isn’t
supposed to be easy, Skye. You of all people should know that.” My
voice is low and raw, and even though I’m trying really hard to
keep control of my emotions, they keep wanting to get the better of
me.

“
I…I….” Her voice dies off
as she stares at me, but that doesn’t stop the tears. They slide
down her face with remarkable ease. “I just think it’s better to
pretend this didn’t happen—”

“
You mean that
we
didn’t happen, don’t
you?” I arch an eyebrow at her in challenge. “Skye, I know you. I
know how you bury things in boxes so you don’t have to face them,
and so long as nothing reminds you of the past, you’re okay, but
then suddenly something triggers it and you jump back. I love you.
I’ve loved you for probably as long as I’ve known you, and I can’t
pretend anymore.”

More tears. “Devin,
please.” She squeaks from under my arm and turns her back to
me.

“
Please,
what
, Skye? Don’t tell you I love you?
Don’t act like something happened between us and you felt it, too?
Don’t keep hoping something will happen so we can finally have a
relationship I know you want as badly as I do? Why do you keep
pushing me? Do you
want
me to leave? Is that it?”

Her shoulders sink as
though I’m piling weights on them. I hear a small voice telling me
I should stop, but I can’t seem to make myself. She folds her arms
across her abdomen and takes a resigned breath. “Perhaps that would
be best, Devin. Really.”

I cross to her in two large
strides and grab her arms. “Bullshit! What in the hell are you
thinking?”

As I stand in front of her,
I sense she’s lost again, and I want to be the navigator who
finally helps her read the landmarks as something real that’ll lead
her away from the past, but somehow I’m not that guy. I’m not even
sure she’s going to let someone help her.

I grab her arms and hold
her still. “Do you love me, Skye?”

“
I…I….” She won’t look at
me. She just keeps crying. “I should go.”

“
Not before you answer,” I
tell her, hoping that if I make her say it, it’ll force her to
admit there was nothing wrong with making love. It’s a stretch,
granted, but I have to do something. “Do you love me?”

It seems to take forever
there, both of us barely breathing, before I get my answer. She
shakes her head. “I’m sorry,” she whispers. “You’re my best friend,
Devin, and I don’t want to hurt you.”

My finger slowly ease, and
I watch her edge out of the room, too shell-shocked by how things
have gone drastically wrong again, and how I felt them spinning out
of control but couldn’t seem to change the outcome no matter how
badly I needed to. I’m standing there when I hear the door close,
and all I can do is wonder what the hell happened and
why.

Chapter Eleven

For the next few weeks,
Skye and I don’t talk. It’s not that I don’t try to call her. She
won’t answer, and every time I go by her house, no one is there.
Maybe I could accept this if I felt like Skye were telling the
truth, but I sense something deeper, and it troubles me. Then
again, maybe I’m the only one unwilling to face the truth that
keeps punching me in the chest—that maybe Skye will never be ready
for a relationship. Or maybe she’ll never be ready for a
relationship with me.

A knock at my bedroom door
interrupts my thoughts, and I finally say, “Come in.”

Mom pokes her head in the
door. “Are you busy?”

Trust Mom to ask about the
obvious. I’ve got a ball in my hand I’ve been tossing against the
ceiling. How busy can I be?

“
No,” I finally tell her,
setting the ball on my nightstand and sitting up. “Do you need
something?”

She opens the door wider.
“Well, I was going to make a pot roast for dinner, but I don’t feel
like going out to the store. Would you mind getting a few things
for me?” She holds out a list with some money, and I take it,
figuring it will be good to do something besides stare at walls
that seem to close in on me every day.

“
Sure. I can do that.” I
give her a half-hearted smile and reach for my shoes.

“
How’s Skye?”

Mom’s test question. She’s
aware I haven’t been hanging around Skye, and she wants to know
what’s up. Yeah, well, that makes two of us, and I don’t think
either of us is going to get answers anytime soon,
unfortunately.

“
She’s okay, I guess. Been
too busy to hang out.” I know I should just tell her the truth, but
my mom is a worrier. She knows what Skye’s attempted suicide did to
me, and the last thing she wants is a repeat performance of any
kind.

“
I just hadn’t seen her with
you lately.”

“
She’s got a lot going, Mom.
I’m sure you’ll see her again.” I didn’t say that she see Skye with
me because even I can’t be sure of that one, no matter how much I
really want to. Skye’s holding all the cards now, and once again
I’m blind to what the future held. Lucky me.

“
I’ll go to the store and
get your stuff,” I say, standing. As I’m heading toward the door, I
feel her gently grasp my arm, stopping me. Our eyes meet, and I
sense the warning before she ever speaks.

“
Devin, I know you really
like Skye, but sometimes you have to come to accept that no matter
how much you want something, it isn’t always meant to
be.”

You know the one thing I
hate about parents: they play dumb, and then when they decided to
tell you about what they know, you realize they’re not blind or
deaf and know what’s going on the whole time. It ought to be
illegal.

“
Stop worrying, Mom,” I tell
her and kiss the top of her head. “You do that far too
much.”

“
Somebody’s got to. You know
that.”

I pull out my keys and walk
to my Jeep. Even though it’s not even noon, it’s already hot,
something the closed interior of my Jeep quickly confirms. It’s
stifling in here. Perhaps that’s why my mom didn’t want to get out?
No, she probably just figured I needed a break from
brooding.

“
I’m going to get some lunch
and I’ll stop and get what you need.”

A look passes between us,
and I know that no matter what I say, it’s not going to change the
fact she’s concerned, and I get it. I’m concerned, too. It’s not
just about me. That’s what she doesn’t know. I feel that concern
smothering me until I walk outside and try to ease the tension from
my shoulders and climb into the Jeep.

While I do plan on getting
some lunch, I find myself driving mindlessly around, trying to get
some kind of spin control. West Martin has never felt big, and
truthfully, it seems like every place I go reminds me of Skye. I
never expected we would end like this. Inasmuch as it hurts to find
this town so laden with memories, it’s also comforting, too,
because if I can’t have Skye with me, her memory is the next best
thing.

Maybe that’s what makes me
drive out to Lucy Park, heading to the old picnic table where Skye
and I sometimes sat. I know she won’t be there; she’s too busy,
after all, hiding from the inevitable, but when I step in front of
that bench, alone and trying to makes sense of things, it make me
hurt in a way I can’t explain even now.

“
It’s not supposed to be
like this,” I mutter, folding my arms across my chest and staring
off into the distance. Above, I see gaggle of geese flying toward
the pond not far away and frown, wishing like hell I could fly out
of here, too. Maybe I never should have come back.

“
Well, well, look who’s
come home.”

I turn slowly, already
sensing whoever is standing there is no friend of mine. I’m not
counting on that person to be Tyler Rutherford. He’s got a fishing
pole in one hand, probably headed to the pond, knowing it’s been
well-stocked for kids under sixteen. Hell, maybe he’s looking for
girls under sixteen; it wouldn’t surprise me.

“
You really shouldn’t be
here,” I say, forcing myself not to move.

“
Oh, and where should I be?
Prison? I’m willing to bet you thought I’d do time, right? That
your girlfriend would ruin my life? Didn’t happen. It helps to have
a powerful daddy.” He smiles, and it takes everything I’ve got not
to thrash him. In the parking lot, I spot a couple getting out of
their car, and I know they can hear everything we’re
saying.

“
You might just want to
stop while you’re ahead.” I set my hands on my hips, waiting for
his next move. Some part of me hopes he shoots off his mouth. It’s
his damned fault Skye isn’t talking to me, and he’s got it
coming.

“
Yeah, I’m ahead, all
right. I’ve always been ahead of you. Skye sure didn’t sleep with
you, but I didn’t have any trouble. Hell, maybe she still won’t
sleep with you. Maybe I should just go over and slip myself back
into place. Who knows? Maybe she’s missed me. Then again, maybe
I’ll teach her a lesson for opening her fucking mouth to begin
with.”

It takes everything I’ve
got to restrain myself when I want to kill him. Instead, I bait
him, knowing that once he swings, he’s mine. “What’s the matter,
Rutherford? You only go after the girls who can’t fight because you
know if they have a choice, they’ll just laugh at you.”

In an instant he rushes
towards me. I feel his fist hit my left eye, and then he’s done. My
fist slams across his nose, breaking it. Blood spurts everywhere.
In the distance, I can hear him making some kind of a noise, but I
hit him again. And again, my body angling as he goes down. He might
have gotten that one punch in, but let’s just say that he’s barely
moving after the fourth blow.

I’d keep going, if I didn’t
feel someone trying to grab my arm.

“
Devin, stop
swinging!”

It’s a woman, and for a
split second, I think it’s Skye, which stops me cold, and I turn to
face her, knowing that Tyler’s blood is all over my hands and
clothes. Probably my face, too. No, she’s not Skye, but the face is
familiar, and I struggle to remember. For a few seconds, I can’t.
Then recognition washes over me.

“
Bethany?”

“
Hey, calm down.” She grabs
my arm and eases me away from Rutherford, who isn’t moving, and
once we’re a short distance away, she touches the area around my
eye. In that moment, pain exploded in my head.

“
Damn, that
hurts.”

“
Not half as bad as what
you did to him.” She nods toward Rutherford, and I look. The guy
who is with her is leaning over him, checking to make sure he’s
okay. Rutherford is covered in blood. I grit my teeth and look
away.

“
He had it coming,
Bethany.”

She nods. “I’m not saying
he didn’t. But I need to call for an ambulance.” She gives me a
meaningful look. “Just stay put, okay?”

“
Whatever.” I glower at her
and sit on a nearby park bench as she makes the call. Already I’m
going through what kinds of trouble I’m going to get into for this,
but I don’t care; I’d have done it sooner if I’d had the
chance.

It seems forever I’m
sitting there, waiting. I feel blood seeping down my face, probably
from dipshit’s ring when he punched me. I dab my fingers at the
wound while watching as Bethany finishes the call and walks over to
Rutherford. She speaks in a low voice to the guy leaning over him,
and he answers. I just can’t hear what they’re saying.

In a moment or two, Bethany
finally walks back, just as the ambulance and police car arrive. I
shake my head, and Bethany sits next to me.

“
Great—as if my week
couldn’t get any worse.” I hang my head, waiting for the cop to get
out. The EMTs are already hustling over to Rutherford, and he’s
probably going to milk his wounds for everything he’s got. Guys
like him are cocky when they’re winning and whiny when they lose.
There’s no in-between.

Setting her hand on my leg,
Bethany stares at me. “Just tell the truth, Devin. I heard every
word he said, and the threat was unmistakable. Besides, he threw
the first punch.”

“
Yeah, well, we both know
who his dad is.” I lean back against the bench and watch as the cop
gets out. He goes to Rutherford first and checks in with the EMTs
then heads our direction.

“
It doesn’t matter who his
dad is. He got a suspended sentence, and he just blew
it.”

I stare at the cop,
unsettled by a sense of familiarity I can’t place. I know him.
That’s no big surprise, considering how I know a lot of people in
this town. But there’s something that won’t leave me alone about
him, something really bad. He’s almost to me when I finally place
him. I suck in air as though somebody’s punched me and mutter,
“Fuck my life” as Kellin Morgan steps towards me.

“
Interesting greeting,” he
says, pulling off his sunglasses. “It has been a while.”